http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/yahoo/orl-loccops02100204oct02,0,133358.story?coll=orl-newsaol-headlines 2%!!!
2 MOTHERFUCKING PERCENT!!
Shit....
How to know you live in Florida....Hurricane Version. I hope you like!
Wayne's hurricane version of You live in Florida when...
You know you live in Florida when . . .
You spend more time on your roof than in your living room.
Your kids start school in August and finish in July.
You know the plot to Groundhog Day and haven't even seen the movie.
There's a "No Wake" sign posted at the end of your driveway.
Having a tree in the living room does not necessarily mean it's Christmas.
You consider plywood a window treatment.
You know which weathercasters are pregnant.
The term "huge fan" has nothing to do with sports.
You won't trade cars until you've tried to guess which tree to park your lemon under for the next hurricane.
You've been laughed at over the phone by a roofer, fence builder or tree-service worker.
You actually like talking to your insurance agent.
Toilet paper is elevated to coin of the realm at shelters.
Your swimming pool experiences tides.
A hurricane with wind hits you harder than a hurricane with alcohol.
You know the difference between "the good side" of a storm and the "bad side."
Suspended tolls are a highlight of your life.
A battery-powered TV is considered an entertainment center.
Your 5-year-old knows the difference between a Category 2 and Category 3 storm.
You find the hum of a generator erotic.
You can't swim because your pool is full of patio furniture.
You actually have seen pigs fly.
You own seven or more of the following: a generator, a power inverter, a weather radio, a battery-powered TV, a battery-powered fan, battery-powered lanterns, a 5-gallon gasoline can, several tarps, a chain saw, a pole saw and a rain suit.
Your parrot can say "Hunker down."
You don't worry about relatives wanting to visit during the summer.
You miss the days when the only topics that put Florida in the national news were flawed elections and drug kingpins
Your children associate huffing and puffing to blow a house down not with a Big Bad Wolf, but with a hurricane.
You know exactly how long two bags of ice will last in your cooler.
You go to work early and stay late just to enjoy the air conditioning.
Your hurricane parties keep getting canceled because of hurricanes.
Even as an adult, sundown means time for bed.