I love my warm toasty fireplace
Yesterday - worked, helped mom clean out her burned up freezer, and cleaned Kat & Crystal’s house for $100.
Today - worked, mike came to work and spent most of the day w/ rach, we all hung out at my house watching “Falling From Grace” and decorating the upper half of the Christmas tree (Leia and Ariel will eat the bottom half).
I just wrote Peter an email saying I never want any contact with him again. It was hard. I want to see him. But at the same time I realize I’m prolonging some very important healing.
This is probably a bad time to make such harsh decisions since I’m starting to go into grieving mode again. I broke down in tears at work today. I didn’t want to decorate for Christmas b/c it wouldn’t be like last year. I forced myself to do it not really for me but b/c it would have disappointed Caley for me to be this sad.
I still don’t know why I bothered, I don’t believe in god anymore so it just feels wrong to participate in a holiday who’s theology I do not support. But then again I don’t feel like having that discussion with any of my relatives yet. Maybe next year. (Besides my computer was my “gift” so I don’t have to adress the issue of presents till next yr. As for gifts from/for friends I‘ve viewing those as “I love you gifts” since we’re not all christian.)
I would give anything thing to erase this past year. How can it already be so close?
This week - more job hunting and resume submitting, checking on my missing warrant, getting the car inspected, finishing my no longer missing anita blake book, hopefully reading close to ½ of “gone with the wind”, finish packing the house, & maybe learning and practicing laying lanolium? Basically nothing too crazy or hectic but nothing extremely fun either.
Night night & hope yall enjoy the holiday…
PS Mike got HUGE points today for OFFERING and then actually BUYING me tampons while I was at work. Not to mention he got the right ones!