Credit Cards: The Bottomless Margarita of Money
Credit Cards: The Bottomless Margarita of Money
By Tom Sunnergren
Jun. 28th, 2005
Being a college student can definitely put a strain on your finances. With rent and tuition it can be tough to make ends meet, especially if you don’t have a job and you’re addicted to meth.
Early on this summer I was worried about where the money was going to come from. My parents had cut me off for the summer and I’d already pawned all my DVD’s for meth money. Things looked pretty bleak, until I got a credit card.
Technically speaking, a credit card is like having a friend who always lends you money.
I’ve heard some people say that you eventually have to pay real money for all the stuff you get with a credit card, but I’ve had one for three weeks and I haven’t gotten anything in the mail except for a bunch of stuff that I ordered with my credit card. It’s the best thing that’s happened to me since Sprite Remix.
I tried to explain to my roommate what credit cards are, but he didn’t get it. He was like, “that’s not what a credit card is, no company just gives away money.” He just doesn’t understand how the economy works, it’s all about advertising, and exchange rates... and indexes.
I stay at the apartment watching movies and ordering Chinese food while he goes to work like a loser. “Having a credit card is like winning the lottery,” I tried to tell him, “It could only be better If you could have sex with it.”
Maybe I will have sex with my credit card, or maybe I’ll order a hooker to jerk me off and then pay for it on the credit card that I used to buy the tequila that I licked off her nipples. Think that’s disgusting? I haven’t worked in six months and I just ordered some more beef chow fun. With a credit card the possibilities are endless.
By Tom Sunnergren
Jun. 28th, 2005
Being a college student can definitely put a strain on your finances. With rent and tuition it can be tough to make ends meet, especially if you don’t have a job and you’re addicted to meth.
Early on this summer I was worried about where the money was going to come from. My parents had cut me off for the summer and I’d already pawned all my DVD’s for meth money. Things looked pretty bleak, until I got a credit card.
Technically speaking, a credit card is like having a friend who always lends you money.
I’ve heard some people say that you eventually have to pay real money for all the stuff you get with a credit card, but I’ve had one for three weeks and I haven’t gotten anything in the mail except for a bunch of stuff that I ordered with my credit card. It’s the best thing that’s happened to me since Sprite Remix.
I tried to explain to my roommate what credit cards are, but he didn’t get it. He was like, “that’s not what a credit card is, no company just gives away money.” He just doesn’t understand how the economy works, it’s all about advertising, and exchange rates... and indexes.
I stay at the apartment watching movies and ordering Chinese food while he goes to work like a loser. “Having a credit card is like winning the lottery,” I tried to tell him, “It could only be better If you could have sex with it.”
Maybe I will have sex with my credit card, or maybe I’ll order a hooker to jerk me off and then pay for it on the credit card that I used to buy the tequila that I licked off her nipples. Think that’s disgusting? I haven’t worked in six months and I just ordered some more beef chow fun. With a credit card the possibilities are endless.