(no subject)
Saturday night I just stayed at my house with friends and we sat around and played board games and drank. I did not even notice that I drunk so much wine until I stood up after three hours and was all giggly and like whoa. But sitting there with my friends, I realized how much I miss having friends that just will sit around and bullshit and talk and just be stupid while playing games that most of us hadn't played since we were kids. Maybe it is not even the friends but just the simplicity of it all. That something so simple could make me so happy. And then I remembered that when I was little it was always the small things that made me happy, like spending time at my grandfathers ranch and just staring out at the flat land and how I thought it was the most beautiful land in the world or looking up at the sky at night and thinking that it was amazing and contemplating questions in my head about all kinds of things about the world. The places where I came up with my own answers and finding my own beliefs. I still like laying somewhere and looking at the night sky but what I 've realized is that long ago gave up doing by myself and maybe I need to get back to where I once was.