(no subject)
i had planned to head to bed. My parents were already there and the TV felt like a loud intruder, especially with such a serene picture waiting out the window. I made my way to the back door for one more moment. I wanted to take in the beauty. The snow sat completely untouched, and the dim of the night seemed to call to me.
My mind jumped at the idea of snuggling into a blanket on my deck to take it in, and I dismissed it.
As I brushed my teeth I couldn't help but wonder what that moment, that time would feel like.
My thoughts needed a release anyway, so I grabbed my winter coat and a blanket. As I tried to open the door quietly, I remembered that paper and pen might just enhance this experience. The sliding door felt louder than ever and I feared that it would give away my trip into the night.
The icy air hit my bare feet and took my breath away but refreshed in a manner I had not expected. I found the driest spot on the deck and curled into the blanket, as I allowed the cold to envelope me.
Cars and others' voices broke the silence intermittenly, but it was a welcoming thought to know that the world was still in motion.
My thoughts poured out on the paper, becoming more prayer like with each motion. This beating heart seems to be in a place of confusion after every corner it turns. I knew answers were not going to be immediate, but at least the weight would be removed.
AS my pen crossed the paper a drop hit it. This world was already disappearing. I could hear the drops as snow melted into water. Large piles dropping from branches in an effort to show me this change would happen just as fast as it came.
I am ok with that, and I count myself blessed to have been a part of it, even if only briefly.
My mind jumped at the idea of snuggling into a blanket on my deck to take it in, and I dismissed it.
As I brushed my teeth I couldn't help but wonder what that moment, that time would feel like.
My thoughts needed a release anyway, so I grabbed my winter coat and a blanket. As I tried to open the door quietly, I remembered that paper and pen might just enhance this experience. The sliding door felt louder than ever and I feared that it would give away my trip into the night.
The icy air hit my bare feet and took my breath away but refreshed in a manner I had not expected. I found the driest spot on the deck and curled into the blanket, as I allowed the cold to envelope me.
Cars and others' voices broke the silence intermittenly, but it was a welcoming thought to know that the world was still in motion.
My thoughts poured out on the paper, becoming more prayer like with each motion. This beating heart seems to be in a place of confusion after every corner it turns. I knew answers were not going to be immediate, but at least the weight would be removed.
AS my pen crossed the paper a drop hit it. This world was already disappearing. I could hear the drops as snow melted into water. Large piles dropping from branches in an effort to show me this change would happen just as fast as it came.
I am ok with that, and I count myself blessed to have been a part of it, even if only briefly.