Things are looking up, yeah that's a positive thing!
Well I just got home about a half hour ago and I'm just now doing homework, which isn't very smart but I wont be able to sleep anyway so at least I'm doing something other then lying in bed wide awake. I'm enjoying a delicious Blue Bubblegum Jones Soda, I LOVE Jones Soda! I think I'm just in a happy mood cuz it seems like everyone is- it's contagious or something! I just got done reading a lot of journals and everyone sounded really happy. I talked to some friends and they were also really happy, one of them even had a "divine intervention", which is great! I'm glad things are getting better for you.
Things got a little rough and shaky with Chris and I over the weekend but it was my fault. I had another little breakdown or whatever it is and freaked out over something so stupid that I really shouldn't let bother me but all has been fixed and is great now. It's actually been better then it has been for a while now. Like how it was when I always wonder why things aren't how they used to be.We've been talking about our futures a lot lately, mostly by him bringing it up which makes me soo happy. He's really thinking of what he's gonna do now with his life basically and told me that I'm like motivation to make him finally get going so that we can start our lives together. That makes me so happy. Of course, there's a long road,years, ahead of us but I think we'll make it. Especially if things keep going like they have been. I still have no idea what I'm gonna do but I'll figure it out eventually. I also figured out today what my main christmas gift for Chris is going to be but I still gotta figure out some things and how to get it with not having a ride anywhere but him, which wouldnt work out, and I'm really worried I won't have the money that I'll need. I guess I'll just have to figure that out. I hate money. I get paid Friday tho, so that's nice. It should be a really good check cuz I worked a ton of hours both weeks, except for not working last night cuz I was puking my guts up. Yeah...it wasn't pretty. Now Chris is sick and his whole family has been. He seems a lot better then I was tho and today I had him come over here after school so I could take care of him cuz yesterday he came over and took care of me. He made me ramen noodles and got me 7-up and everything..it was really sweet. Even tho I feel really bad that I ended up puking it all up and getting him sick.
Besides being sick yesterday, I've been at school for weeks now w/out missing much. I can't miss anymore days tho, or I get a suspension. I can't wait for 2nd semester. School suddenly isn't that bad, like actually tolerable and I think it's because of the certain people I've been talking to lately. It's nice having more people actually care that I'm there and wanting to talk to me. I hope you know who you are. Thanx. I really don't know what's been up with me these past months but I'm working on it. Really, seriously this time. I'm sick of how I feel and it's not okay.
Today in Religion we had to say in front of the class what we would do if we know we only had 24 hours left before we died. I said that I'd get married and go to the beach, see the ocean, spend time with family and friends, drive a car cuz I wont care about having the license or insurance, people laughed at that but it's something i want so bad, I also kinda said that I'd make things right with anyone that I might not be okay with like family-meaning my dad. Which made me think, I really dont want him or I to die the way things are between us. I can't believe I'm saying this cuz right now i'm really mad at him for accusing me of stuff that he wont even let me explain,but still, I know I do love him cuz he is my father but it's so hard to respect him and like him. Anyway, I would definitely get married and go to the ocean and have the best honeymoon cuz I've been waiting for it all my life. I told Chris about that and he said something about the person I was talking about marrying better have been him and I told him, of course! Then we got into a discussion about future stuff. So, that made me think and now I must go back to getting homework done before I get tired.