Do you remember the time when you and I were fine....
Last time I wrote anything it had been a while and I don't even know how I got all that out here. It's been a ruff couple of days/nights. All having to do with what else but Chris and I. Things are good now, worked out and I think I'm pretty happy and I don't know exactly how he feels,but I never really do know about that. I know that he respects me a lot and loves me even more, I have no doubt about that. Which makes me have so much more hope for things with us all the time. So everything should be alright now.
Since I've been home...things have changed and fell apart. Thursday night things continued to fall apart but ended up a lot better. I pretty much moped around all day and night until Chris showed up at my house to fix things, which shocked me but now I'm very thankful for him doing that. Everything seemed fine but didn't feel like it on Friday when we went to a late movie. We saw I robot and things felt so distant and weird, it scared me. The movie was okay, I thought it was sort of dumb cuz well...wow, robots?? Okay..
Saturday I went out with Chris and Justin for pizza and for some reason Chris and I decided to stop all this bs and figure things out...outside my back door when I was supposed to be being dropped off for the night. We talked for like and hour and finally had one of those hugs where everything is finally better and just feels so good. I don't know how to explain it, but yeah. We got back to Chris's car to find Justin sleeping, but he's cool. He understood everything and didn't care. So we left again and ended up at Dennys for coffee and cheescake..yeah. Well, I don't think I'll be eating cheescake for a while now cuz I guess my throat had some difficulties swallowing water and and laughing really hard at the same time. Cuz I started choking and umm yeah...this is gross and embarrasing. But, I started coughing really bad and laughing,and everyone else is too so I turn my head to lean against Chris's shoulder to muffle my coughing until I stop. Well, then he covers my mouth with his hand cuz he knows I don't want everyone around us to look at me cuz of my loud coughing and I feel so bad that he did that. Cuz I started choking and then out of no where I puked all over his hand and the seat! Wow, I felt sooo stupid. I was like, "omg chris, im sorry,! Then I was feeling really sick and STupiD! Ugh, why's this happen to me??
Today I spent the afternoon and evening with Chris which was really nice cuz things were a lot better..finally. We were supposed to go out with Megan and Scott but Scott had to go somewhere with his family or something so we're gonna re-schedule I guess. It was alright tho cuz we got to spend some time together. So we went out for Chinese..what a surprise..we're always there. Then over to the mall where I spent all of the money I had left over from Orlando on clothes for school, which sux. That's some thing I wont miss, being able to wear anything to school. I don't own anything I could wear this year, it really sux. I bought these really comfy, baggy pants at Pacsun that can like go from capris to pants by buttoning different buttons..haha, i dont know but they were comfy. I got some black dickies too and found the Vans I've been wanting so much all summer for only $20 at Hot Topic,but they didnt have my size unless I didn't mind them falling off my feet! That really sucked cuz Chris was gonna buy them for me too! Instead, I got the new TBS cd, which I happen to have playing in my room since these stupid speakers dont work anymore..ugh.
After all that, we went to see The Manchurian Candidate, which was really interesting although I don't think I caught everything, it was something I'll have to watch again to understand everything that happened. It made me wonder if a lot of the stuff that was happpening really does happen. Now, I'm here and actually on time, w/out getting sick from choking. 89x is at ClubXtreme tonight, which is 18 and up and happens to be a block away from my house! Too bad, I'm not 18!! I think Chris and some other people are there now....I wish I was! Oh well..I'm gonna go listen to my new cd some more and actually be happy about stuff. Then Chris will call...nice and sober like he promised..haha.
Cause we were better then we'd ever been before...