Gotta get some thoughts out!

[krazeetpbabe003]

Its funny to me how quickly things can change, it really is. It seems like nothing in my life ever stays the same... theres always drastic changes occuring. I think they're mostly only drastic in the beholder's eyes though. A month ago I was so excited because I finally had a group of girlfriends who all got along real well and we had SO much fun hanging out.. but that lasted maybe two weeks. I feel like I'm already back to where I started. I thought I could see myself becoming really close to Ashley... but she's not exactly what I thought she was. Maybe I'm being too picky, which I'm sure I am... but I'm just not really use to being around girly girls that much I guess you could say. She seems so focused on boys and shopping and looking cute.. those aren't important in life, they really aren't. And that's about all she cares about. It was cool to begin with, it didn't really show a whole lot and when it did it was a nice change I guess.. but now it's like idk. And I get so bothered with how "blinded by love" she is with her ex... arg that annoys me so much.. to see someone you care about do such stupid things and constantly get hurt because of it, and that person doesn't listen to ANYTHING you say.. it sucks. I don't know, I have so much opinion on the topic but I hate the way I think.. I can't ever just be satisfied.. I don't know why. I try just not to care but it's like I know what I want and if it's not it then I don't want to even deal with it... which is horrible.. i dont know why I am that way. Allison and I don't really talk anymore... we talk in yearbook since we work together, but that's it. We haven't hung out in forever.. But we've both got our own things going on and I think we've more or less grown apart.. it's weird how much I notice now that we don't have in common and now I can somewhat understand why I was never able to really be myself around her. The school year started out really good this year, I had a group of friends that were really cool to hang out with and it was nice.. now no one really hangs out with eachother anymore.. its all split up or something... and now i don't like school much anymore. I'm just ready to get out of that damn place and move on, start from scratch.. God I can't wait! Another thing I REALLY look forward to is December when my sister comes home for a couple of days.. she's going to have a big ole belly!! lol man o man i already miss her a lot again. We talked for like an hour last night just trying to catch up on the last couple of weeks.
Things have been really great with Shaun and I, thank goodness... atleast one things working out right for me :] He has just been absolutely perfect toward me lately and we've really had fun hanging out and everything.. it's been nice. Our two years are coming up really soon and we've both made secret plans to celebrate the occasion. Gosh I love that boy so much! :]
I love how I feel after I've written in my journal about things that have been bothering me.. it takes so much weight off my shoulders and out of my mind.