Broken Home
FUCK !!
So I was supposed to goto Orlando this weekend,
as you all know.
I was so excited.
No.
BEYOND excited.
I was going to be able to goto Gay Days...
See Justin...
See Matt...
See Anty..
It was going to be the best time EVER !!
Notice the past tence.
So,
My mom was on the phone with my sisters father
( technically she`s my "half sister" ... whatever )
and they were talking about how the government is fucked up,
and about Bush being a shit-head.
4 hours down the road...
It`s time for me to goto work at CSHS.
I go in to say goodbye,
and she`s wasted off of wine !!
Today is the day she takes her Kemo Therapy medicne,
for her Rheumatiod Arthiritis..
It`s already really bad for her to drink excessively,
this made it worse since she had to drug up.
When I was about to leave,
she was BALLING.
Screaming about how I was going to get KILLED at Gay Days,
by some guy that would be out to get me.
Whatever..
Then after I had left for CSHS,
she called up her husband Robert.
He`s currently in Georgia for a show about his company.
She left him nasty-ass voice mails saying how she`s going to divorce him,
and how he needs to stay in Georgia.
So now,
I have to stay home and take care of her..
because she`ll be completley laid out,
cause of how she took her medication (drunk).
I don`t get to goto Gay Days.
I don`t get to see Justin.
I don`t get to see Matt.
I don`t get to see Ant.
Thank you for your actions mom.
It`s real mature.
She is NOT supposed to drink,
VIA THE DOCTOR.
It could send her to the hospital.
So here I am,
in tears,
because of this.
Overwhelmed with bullshit,
not being able to go up to Orlando....
My mom isn`t going to remember any of this in the morning.
Just like the other 4 times she`s done this.
I just don`t know what to do.
And to top it all off,
Justin is upset that I don`t get to see him.
I don`t like that.
I miss him.
I wish he was here right now.
This is why my father abandoned us.
He`s such a fucking coward.
Great.
Now i`m thinking about a whole bunch of other shit.
About dad,
and my childhood --
how he would beat me,
for no reason.
MAN.
FUCK THIS !!
I can`t deal with this.
I don`t wanna be home all weekend !!
But I have to !!
AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!
Life is pretty fucked up right now.
"Broken Home" is totally the phrase for now.
I hate crying.
I don`t cry.
...............
-out-
[.xo.]