(no subject)
im so sorry...
the amount of damage I've done to the people in all my life i can never take back. sometimes i like to think i am a good person. but, really i guess i am not. but, how could i be with the parents who raised me. i thought going to medical school and helping patients feel better would help me feel better about myself, but that wasn't the case. in the end i can't forgive myself for the many mistakes i have made. they repeat in my head over and over reminding me that no matter what i do it will never make up for what i have done. forgiving myself is extremely hard to do. i forgive so many other people for how they've treated me or what they have done, more than willing to give them a second chance. but forgiving myself and letting my regrets go is impossible. i know there could be far worse things i could've done. but, still i hold myself responsible for everyones misery who is close to me. i am sorry to everyone i have hurt. nobody knows how many times a day i think about how much pain i have caused. if i could turn back time, god would I.
the amount of damage I've done to the people in all my life i can never take back. sometimes i like to think i am a good person. but, really i guess i am not. but, how could i be with the parents who raised me. i thought going to medical school and helping patients feel better would help me feel better about myself, but that wasn't the case. in the end i can't forgive myself for the many mistakes i have made. they repeat in my head over and over reminding me that no matter what i do it will never make up for what i have done. forgiving myself is extremely hard to do. i forgive so many other people for how they've treated me or what they have done, more than willing to give them a second chance. but forgiving myself and letting my regrets go is impossible. i know there could be far worse things i could've done. but, still i hold myself responsible for everyones misery who is close to me. i am sorry to everyone i have hurt. nobody knows how many times a day i think about how much pain i have caused. if i could turn back time, god would I.