I give up.
WARNING: This IS a *whine.* It's a bitch session, because I need it. I was brought to tears over this at work, if I don't get it out, I will explode. If you don't give a shit, please skip it, I don't need anyone bitching about how I'm a whiner. I know it. I'm a whiny bitch, ok? :(
NOTICE TO ALL OF MY FRIENDS:
If there is anything I own that you covet and want to buy from me... Anything... Please let me know. I'll sell it to you. Whatever it is. I don't care.
I cannot afford to live anymore.
I have finally hit serious financial trouble.
I have made light of my situation for far too long. Money just isn't important to me. It's the people in and the quality of my life that I worry about... Money just happens, or doesn't, and things even out in the end, because I work hard.
I guess that isn't the case these days.
I now owe the bank $114 *more* dollars since my overdraft. (leaving me at -$114 in my account). I already paid $75 towards it with the money I earned dancing with Rich... The remainder will be my ENTIRE birthday money check from my mother... plus another $14 coming from my pocket. Happy birthday to me.
ALSO, I don't know how it suddenly happened, but I am now almost $300 OVER my credit limit on the card I used to get me through the hard times in NYC ($6000 limit, ok?). So I owe THEM $400+ for my next payment.
Not to mention that next week is rent payment ($400).
Not to mention that I have a $500 school bill coming RIGHT up again.
Not to mention all the other monthly bills.
Not to mention that I'm running out of food and supplies in the house again and can't afford groceries.
Not to mention that I have to skip lunch today because I burned the popcorn that was all I had left in the world to eat at work.
Not to mention that I owe Maggie some money on the laundry card... heh.
I really can't go to SunCon... At least, I can't pay for the actual Con. I'd return my plane ticket, but I don't know if I can without some kind of monitary penalty, and I don't want to ditch Aimee for the trip we've been planning on since April.
I have nothing left to give. I've denied myself everything and been a burden on everyone in the last few weeks. I had hoped so much to get the last few supplies and things I wanted to complete my Halloween costumes... But I can't now. Money, or lack thereof, has finally started to mess with the "quality of life" that I emphasize so much, and I'm terribly unhappy about it.
You can't get blood from a stone, and I can't pay people with money I don't have.
So... Buy my stuff?
I got lots of stuff. I need LOTS of money in the future.
I hate not being able to handle everything on my own. I'm a Scorpio. I don't like to ask for help. Ever.
Nothing is happy right now. :(
(*Cries hard and wishes to just disappear forever*)
I want someone to hold me and tell me everything will work out fine.
I want someone to love me so I can deal with all this better.
It's not all that matters... But I could live in a box with nothing if I had love. It's the lack of that love in my life that makes this money trouble hurt so acutely.
~S~
PS. Yes, Steveo I will have the money for my T-shirt on Saturday. But that is the last thing.
Ever.
PPS. I could really use a massage...
NOTICE TO ALL OF MY FRIENDS:
If there is anything I own that you covet and want to buy from me... Anything... Please let me know. I'll sell it to you. Whatever it is. I don't care.
I cannot afford to live anymore.
I have finally hit serious financial trouble.
I have made light of my situation for far too long. Money just isn't important to me. It's the people in and the quality of my life that I worry about... Money just happens, or doesn't, and things even out in the end, because I work hard.
I guess that isn't the case these days.
I now owe the bank $114 *more* dollars since my overdraft. (leaving me at -$114 in my account). I already paid $75 towards it with the money I earned dancing with Rich... The remainder will be my ENTIRE birthday money check from my mother... plus another $14 coming from my pocket. Happy birthday to me.
ALSO, I don't know how it suddenly happened, but I am now almost $300 OVER my credit limit on the card I used to get me through the hard times in NYC ($6000 limit, ok?). So I owe THEM $400+ for my next payment.
Not to mention that next week is rent payment ($400).
Not to mention that I have a $500 school bill coming RIGHT up again.
Not to mention all the other monthly bills.
Not to mention that I'm running out of food and supplies in the house again and can't afford groceries.
Not to mention that I have to skip lunch today because I burned the popcorn that was all I had left in the world to eat at work.
Not to mention that I owe Maggie some money on the laundry card... heh.
I really can't go to SunCon... At least, I can't pay for the actual Con. I'd return my plane ticket, but I don't know if I can without some kind of monitary penalty, and I don't want to ditch Aimee for the trip we've been planning on since April.
I have nothing left to give. I've denied myself everything and been a burden on everyone in the last few weeks. I had hoped so much to get the last few supplies and things I wanted to complete my Halloween costumes... But I can't now. Money, or lack thereof, has finally started to mess with the "quality of life" that I emphasize so much, and I'm terribly unhappy about it.
You can't get blood from a stone, and I can't pay people with money I don't have.
So... Buy my stuff?
I got lots of stuff. I need LOTS of money in the future.
I hate not being able to handle everything on my own. I'm a Scorpio. I don't like to ask for help. Ever.
Nothing is happy right now. :(
(*Cries hard and wishes to just disappear forever*)
I want someone to hold me and tell me everything will work out fine.
I want someone to love me so I can deal with all this better.
It's not all that matters... But I could live in a box with nothing if I had love. It's the lack of that love in my life that makes this money trouble hurt so acutely.
~S~
PS. Yes, Steveo I will have the money for my T-shirt on Saturday. But that is the last thing.
Ever.
PPS. I could really use a massage...