(no subject)
Consience
Take all of it, take it!
I don’t want any of it!
I don’t want the experience!
I don’t want the wisdom it brings.
I don’t need the scars it leaves.
If I had a choice I wouldn’t choose any of this.
Not with what I know now, not with the hurt I know to well.
How dare you! How dare you judge me!
You’ve never seen me.
You haven’t felt the helpless emotions that dawn on my mind
You don’t know what its like to feel pain from places you knew not of.
Does it make you feel good?
What kind of satisfaction do you get?
I won’t let you, not any more.
I’m not well, I know that.
But what am I supposed to do when tears no longer ease pain.
When pain, no longer eases the pain.
What do you do when you cry yourself to sleep and you don’t know why.
Don’t ask me, I can’t articulate it.
It’s that feeling, that many feelings but one in the same.
I hate it, the knowing of its existence.
It’s self aware, aside from me, It thinks and puts me down, even when I try not to think.
I’m tired, mentally, to hard to keep up.
Keep up! “You have so much potential”
What do you do when half ass becomes your best?
What happens when right bleeds into wrong and vise versa.
What if I am wrong? As a person.
“I have to watch what I say for fear of being judged”
STOP! JUST STOP IT DAMN IT!
Take it, please.
Help me please
I’ve been begging and kicking and screaming.
Take it please, make it gone. Relieve me, release me.
Do it, the only way you know how, beat me til I'm,deaf blind and mute
