sfkjahg;lafgjiaeorunfdgskja;rtro;igfh
I HATE THIS
I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE THIS
1st.... living in fucking CT is wrecking my shit. im PISSED.
2nd.... NOT BEING ABLE TO READ PEOPLE.
so... said guy from previous post. adore him. like him LOTS. a lot. like woah. player? ehh... i dont think so.... but definetly has more than a few lady friends who are more than a little attractive. is that bad/his fault? hell no....... and if the situation were a little more defined/secure, wouldnt even be a problem. but i hate the feeling when youre TOTALLY into someone, and there seems to be NO WAY they cant be feeling it too... even just enough to the point where they realize it and waht not. but theres still that possibility.. i mean how does he get THAT GOOD at... kissing.. and things, you know? i dont necessarily think hes playing me. i guess it depends what his intentions are. if we're on the same page, then like i said... no problem. if hes just like yea its been a fun past 2, 3 weeks but youre goin to CT for break (fuck that, ps), and im not gonna be at albion next semester, so lets hold off... then gurrrr thats real irritating, but still not his fault. very understandable. but i sorta feel like if he feels similar to the way i do about whats been going on, then would he kinda put off other "possibilities"?? or would he go for it since he CAN, hell, even if he WANTS to. i certainly hope that he feels kinda like i do, and would be like ehh i could hook up with you, but man i cant get kristin off my mind!!!!! seriously, thats all i want... he doesnt have to be like holy shit i love you, even though i wont see you (regularly) until next fall, i want to be with you! because thats pretty outrageous, even i can admit. dont get me wrong, id be all about that if thats what he wants... but for some reason i have the feeling thats not going to be the case. not that he had bad intentions the past couple weeks or anything, not that he doesnt plan on any possibilities between us in the future, either. its just.... UGH!!!! FUCKING BAD TIMING, AS ALWAYS!!!!!!!
SO. as if that werent fucking with my head. my other friend (a boy), who i had class with last year, and only really seen/hung out with occasionally, invited me over tonight. he suggested the bar, but obviously, lacking 1 year in age prevented me from attending. i had to help nicole out with her photo project by being a model for her anyway (haha i was topless for it!! hehe) so i got back, and he was like hey we're drinking, why dont you come over? and i was like ok, sounds like fun!!! especially since a bunch of my other buddies live over there too. so i go to guy #1 (from above) to get the drink i left at his place the other day, but didnt get to talk to him much, mostly cuz he was vomiting into the garbage after attempting to drink 12 cokes in 15 minutes..... for 10 bucks... THATS NOT EVEN A DOLLAR A DRINK!!! hahahahaha yea.. so that was pretty funny. i gave him shit. anyway... so i took my drink, headed to guy #2.. who im thinkin is just a friend i havent seen in a pretty long time considering what a small school this is. im also expecting there to be other people drinking too. NOPE. just us. ok, no biggie. well, turns out, he was pretty sloshed, which is ok and pretty amusing. but it also turns out (after being there for like... 1.5 minutes) that he wants to make out with me. hahaha ok.... so i tell him "not now, we'll see". and its not that this guy isnt hot, or isnt a nice guy or anything... im just all wrapped up in guy #1, and cant help but think of him the whole time. so, we decide to watch a movie, and we settle on "its a wonderful life". not what i had in mind, but i like the movie (its his favorite) so we put it in. well, then he wants to cuddle, and comes up with the proposition that i crash there for the night, but he SWEARS all he'll do is hold my hand, cuddle, and kiss me. i start laughing. poor guy, i laughed a lot. it wasnt that hes that rediculous that id never do that or hook up with him, just the whole situation in general. and the way he was saying it, i could barely understand, haha. so i indulge and im like well im not staying here tonight but we can cuddle. well.... 20 minutes later and hes whining about how bad his boner hurts, and can we just take care of it real quick, no committments. and im dying with laughter now, and i ask him if he remembers his previous proposal. he doesnt. i laugh harder. poor guy.....
sooooooo the night proceeds with more of him kissing me and me doing all i can to keep my eyes on the TV. not becuase im not interested in him. hell he even told me he wants to date me, would do anything for me, and by the end of the movie, that he loved me.
which is interesting, since in a drunken haze, boy #1 told me that too the other day.... hahaha.
anyhow... yes. you can see the situation. thankfully, i had not drank that much and kept a level head about the situation. im counting on him not remembering much of it (mainly my laughter).
so tomorrow...... i have to study for my geo exam, with boy #1. which im excited about, but we HAVE to have "the talk". about whats going on. becuase if hes not seriously considering anything serious relatively soon, im definetly going to pursue boy #2, because hes definetly a good guy, and good lookin too.
but boy #1.... GOD DAMN!! probly the best kisser/fooling-arounder ive ever encountered. let me tell you............... im attributing some of it to the fact that we have that "connection".... but he may just be THAT GOOD. ya know?
sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
now i want to know:
HOW THE FUCK DO I ALWAYS FIND MYSELF IN THESE SITUATIONS????!?!????
at least my options are both fairly safe... theyre both good looking, theyre both good guys with good futures and goals. 1 may be a bigger "risk" than the other in terms of the girl-to-him ratio.... but then again, most of my friends are guys, and i cant say that some of them are that unattractive either.
opinions? comments? questions? leave em here.
I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE THIS
1st.... living in fucking CT is wrecking my shit. im PISSED.
2nd.... NOT BEING ABLE TO READ PEOPLE.
so... said guy from previous post. adore him. like him LOTS. a lot. like woah. player? ehh... i dont think so.... but definetly has more than a few lady friends who are more than a little attractive. is that bad/his fault? hell no....... and if the situation were a little more defined/secure, wouldnt even be a problem. but i hate the feeling when youre TOTALLY into someone, and there seems to be NO WAY they cant be feeling it too... even just enough to the point where they realize it and waht not. but theres still that possibility.. i mean how does he get THAT GOOD at... kissing.. and things, you know? i dont necessarily think hes playing me. i guess it depends what his intentions are. if we're on the same page, then like i said... no problem. if hes just like yea its been a fun past 2, 3 weeks but youre goin to CT for break (fuck that, ps), and im not gonna be at albion next semester, so lets hold off... then gurrrr thats real irritating, but still not his fault. very understandable. but i sorta feel like if he feels similar to the way i do about whats been going on, then would he kinda put off other "possibilities"?? or would he go for it since he CAN, hell, even if he WANTS to. i certainly hope that he feels kinda like i do, and would be like ehh i could hook up with you, but man i cant get kristin off my mind!!!!! seriously, thats all i want... he doesnt have to be like holy shit i love you, even though i wont see you (regularly) until next fall, i want to be with you! because thats pretty outrageous, even i can admit. dont get me wrong, id be all about that if thats what he wants... but for some reason i have the feeling thats not going to be the case. not that he had bad intentions the past couple weeks or anything, not that he doesnt plan on any possibilities between us in the future, either. its just.... UGH!!!! FUCKING BAD TIMING, AS ALWAYS!!!!!!!
SO. as if that werent fucking with my head. my other friend (a boy), who i had class with last year, and only really seen/hung out with occasionally, invited me over tonight. he suggested the bar, but obviously, lacking 1 year in age prevented me from attending. i had to help nicole out with her photo project by being a model for her anyway (haha i was topless for it!! hehe) so i got back, and he was like hey we're drinking, why dont you come over? and i was like ok, sounds like fun!!! especially since a bunch of my other buddies live over there too. so i go to guy #1 (from above) to get the drink i left at his place the other day, but didnt get to talk to him much, mostly cuz he was vomiting into the garbage after attempting to drink 12 cokes in 15 minutes..... for 10 bucks... THATS NOT EVEN A DOLLAR A DRINK!!! hahahahaha yea.. so that was pretty funny. i gave him shit. anyway... so i took my drink, headed to guy #2.. who im thinkin is just a friend i havent seen in a pretty long time considering what a small school this is. im also expecting there to be other people drinking too. NOPE. just us. ok, no biggie. well, turns out, he was pretty sloshed, which is ok and pretty amusing. but it also turns out (after being there for like... 1.5 minutes) that he wants to make out with me. hahaha ok.... so i tell him "not now, we'll see". and its not that this guy isnt hot, or isnt a nice guy or anything... im just all wrapped up in guy #1, and cant help but think of him the whole time. so, we decide to watch a movie, and we settle on "its a wonderful life". not what i had in mind, but i like the movie (its his favorite) so we put it in. well, then he wants to cuddle, and comes up with the proposition that i crash there for the night, but he SWEARS all he'll do is hold my hand, cuddle, and kiss me. i start laughing. poor guy, i laughed a lot. it wasnt that hes that rediculous that id never do that or hook up with him, just the whole situation in general. and the way he was saying it, i could barely understand, haha. so i indulge and im like well im not staying here tonight but we can cuddle. well.... 20 minutes later and hes whining about how bad his boner hurts, and can we just take care of it real quick, no committments. and im dying with laughter now, and i ask him if he remembers his previous proposal. he doesnt. i laugh harder. poor guy.....
sooooooo the night proceeds with more of him kissing me and me doing all i can to keep my eyes on the TV. not becuase im not interested in him. hell he even told me he wants to date me, would do anything for me, and by the end of the movie, that he loved me.
which is interesting, since in a drunken haze, boy #1 told me that too the other day.... hahaha.
anyhow... yes. you can see the situation. thankfully, i had not drank that much and kept a level head about the situation. im counting on him not remembering much of it (mainly my laughter).
so tomorrow...... i have to study for my geo exam, with boy #1. which im excited about, but we HAVE to have "the talk". about whats going on. becuase if hes not seriously considering anything serious relatively soon, im definetly going to pursue boy #2, because hes definetly a good guy, and good lookin too.
but boy #1.... GOD DAMN!! probly the best kisser/fooling-arounder ive ever encountered. let me tell you............... im attributing some of it to the fact that we have that "connection".... but he may just be THAT GOOD. ya know?
sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
now i want to know:
HOW THE FUCK DO I ALWAYS FIND MYSELF IN THESE SITUATIONS????!?!????
at least my options are both fairly safe... theyre both good looking, theyre both good guys with good futures and goals. 1 may be a bigger "risk" than the other in terms of the girl-to-him ratio.... but then again, most of my friends are guys, and i cant say that some of them are that unattractive either.
opinions? comments? questions? leave em here.