(no subject)
I am feeling awfully depressed and bottled up for reasons I should have gotten over. I feel like I am weaker than I have ever been my entire life. Confusion has risen to a whole new level for me now. All I want to do is slink to the corner of my room and cry. I fucking hate my life. I fucking hate the fact that I have this damn shackles binding me and I fucking hate the fact that I just can't shut up, get up and get on with my life.
I thought that by spending time with myself, an entire month of not going out or hanging out with people, would actually teach me to love myself a little bit more or distract myself from my worldly grievances. Unfortunately it had the opposite effect. By spending time with myself I realised how much of a failure I was and how weakly I have acted in the past. I fucking remember stuff from 2003 or 2004 and I freak the shit out. I keep dissing myself in my head, pulling my hair and what not. FUCK ME. I cure myself AAAH
What is worse is that there is a worse storm outside. I don't fucking want to deal with life or myself anymore.
I wish there was a way out of all of this.
I thought that by spending time with myself, an entire month of not going out or hanging out with people, would actually teach me to love myself a little bit more or distract myself from my worldly grievances. Unfortunately it had the opposite effect. By spending time with myself I realised how much of a failure I was and how weakly I have acted in the past. I fucking remember stuff from 2003 or 2004 and I freak the shit out. I keep dissing myself in my head, pulling my hair and what not. FUCK ME. I cure myself AAAH
What is worse is that there is a worse storm outside. I don't fucking want to deal with life or myself anymore.
I wish there was a way out of all of this.