winter break
so far winter break has been going very well. i love long island. there's always so much drama that follows me around. especially boys. i think for the first time in years i am free of it. that makes me feel really...calm. i've been working nonstop, as always, but you know what? friendly's isn't that bad. yea, i said it. i am overworked and underpaid, but i'm good at it, and there are some really good people there. i've seen a lot of friends, the bethpage kids, the track girls, the crew kids, ant and bri and the happaugue kids, some ym kids, and i'm going to see the ronks next week. i still need to see james and phil and ry and rich and joe m. and some seniors. but so far i've been good. i was thinking for a while that i didn't like who i was turning into and i've done some stupid shit, but that's how we learn, right? we make mistakes so we can grow. we stray from the path so that we can realize how we need to stay on course. i've done a lot of things i regret, hurt a lot of people, myself included, but now i'm better for it. i realize who i am and who i want to become. that, i think, is the greatest gift of all.
school. i have many doubts about school. maybe not school, but providence. i have doubts about a school who doesn't give a deserving girl a spot i the honors program because her SATs were 10 points too low? doubtful since this from a school who now abolished the need for an SAT score to apply. i have doubts about stupid rules that don't allow visitors to stay over in your room and rather has them sleep with complete strangers, all while allowing the double standard of no watch over the boys dorms. there's a lot of things i don't like about school and it makes me sick to my stomach when i hear people go head over heels for their respectful schools. is it worth spending all this money when i have so many doubts? why aren't i completely enamoured by pc? uh-ohhh.
any way, other than that tiny little stressor, i feel pretty good. like i said, i'm discovering myself and i'm free of boy trauma, so i feel... calm. and okay.
andd to leave you, drunk girl, by something corporate:
I kissed a drunk girl
I kissed a drunk girl yes I did
Kissed a drunk girl on the lips
I let my guard down
How could I have been so dumb?
Her eyes were open
I know I am not the one
I kissed a drunk girl
Why do I do these things I do to myself?
I kissed a drunk girl
And now I'm sure I could have been anybody else
... I know you don't care about me
I'm sure when all is said and done
And I go home feeling lonely
You would have had your fun
Do you even remember?
I kissed a drunk girl
Why do I do these things I do to myself?
I kissed a drunk girl
And now I'm sure I could have been anybody else
school. i have many doubts about school. maybe not school, but providence. i have doubts about a school who doesn't give a deserving girl a spot i the honors program because her SATs were 10 points too low? doubtful since this from a school who now abolished the need for an SAT score to apply. i have doubts about stupid rules that don't allow visitors to stay over in your room and rather has them sleep with complete strangers, all while allowing the double standard of no watch over the boys dorms. there's a lot of things i don't like about school and it makes me sick to my stomach when i hear people go head over heels for their respectful schools. is it worth spending all this money when i have so many doubts? why aren't i completely enamoured by pc? uh-ohhh.
any way, other than that tiny little stressor, i feel pretty good. like i said, i'm discovering myself and i'm free of boy trauma, so i feel... calm. and okay.
andd to leave you, drunk girl, by something corporate:
I kissed a drunk girl
I kissed a drunk girl yes I did
Kissed a drunk girl on the lips
I let my guard down
How could I have been so dumb?
Her eyes were open
I know I am not the one
I kissed a drunk girl
Why do I do these things I do to myself?
I kissed a drunk girl
And now I'm sure I could have been anybody else
... I know you don't care about me
I'm sure when all is said and done
And I go home feeling lonely
You would have had your fun
Do you even remember?
I kissed a drunk girl
Why do I do these things I do to myself?
I kissed a drunk girl
And now I'm sure I could have been anybody else