(no subject)
I've grown accustom to this struggle. And by that I mean I know it's here and it's here to stay, to fight. Not that I know any of it's weakness or that I've yet to somehow find within this deep darkness a way out. Though I must say, I am growing accustom to it....My phone has been dead since sunday night and after a few days I feel a connection severed with an outside world(and yes, i do mean 'an' and not 'the'). The days grow long but by nightfall seem short. Almost as if time chooses its own speed. If anyone is reading this then you must be thinking this is some bullshit, well....you're right, it is.
Due to all the situations and emotions an 18 year old male can go through at his 1st year at college, I've learned a lot about myself. Out of everything I've learned the most important is that I have much more learning to do. My mind is frequently drifting. Obvious when out of no where I suggest to Darren we should hit up the gym. Play some ping-pong, shoot some hoops, sure, even smoke a joint while we're at it. Why shoot hoops, exercise? nah. Why play ping-pong, to perfect my skills and go on to win at the Japan Annual Pingo-Pongo Tournament(not real), nah. The reason for this unexpected activities is simply something new to take my mind off of something old. To hold true to the assumption that man bores man....which I really have never put much though into, to be honest.
As of right now, i'm concentrating my patience to get me to the end of May. I haven't looked beyond that point. I need to get away. Go to some uncharted island, let myself drown in some kind of high grade euphoria. Make it a uncharted island inhabited with beautiful but more importantly, intellectual women,where conversations are always in-depth and interesting, where conversation and play never end, where coronas, and frisbees grow on trees, where I'll have all the cantaloupe and pineapple I could every want, and play sand volleyball, with natural hot springs where I can lay with my women, drink my corona, eat my cantaloupe, and through an unlimited number of frisbees to my dog....I don't really have a dog, but here, in this place, I would. And the dog will catch my frisbees and return it to whomever it wishes to return it to, doesn't matter really. The dog could eat it if he'd like to, I have plenty of them. There'll be....there'll be 15 minuets to get to class cuz I overslept....what a bitch.
There'll is not a word.
Due to all the situations and emotions an 18 year old male can go through at his 1st year at college, I've learned a lot about myself. Out of everything I've learned the most important is that I have much more learning to do. My mind is frequently drifting. Obvious when out of no where I suggest to Darren we should hit up the gym. Play some ping-pong, shoot some hoops, sure, even smoke a joint while we're at it. Why shoot hoops, exercise? nah. Why play ping-pong, to perfect my skills and go on to win at the Japan Annual Pingo-Pongo Tournament(not real), nah. The reason for this unexpected activities is simply something new to take my mind off of something old. To hold true to the assumption that man bores man....which I really have never put much though into, to be honest.
As of right now, i'm concentrating my patience to get me to the end of May. I haven't looked beyond that point. I need to get away. Go to some uncharted island, let myself drown in some kind of high grade euphoria. Make it a uncharted island inhabited with beautiful but more importantly, intellectual women,where conversations are always in-depth and interesting, where conversation and play never end, where coronas, and frisbees grow on trees, where I'll have all the cantaloupe and pineapple I could every want, and play sand volleyball, with natural hot springs where I can lay with my women, drink my corona, eat my cantaloupe, and through an unlimited number of frisbees to my dog....I don't really have a dog, but here, in this place, I would. And the dog will catch my frisbees and return it to whomever it wishes to return it to, doesn't matter really. The dog could eat it if he'd like to, I have plenty of them. There'll be....there'll be 15 minuets to get to class cuz I overslept....what a bitch.
There'll is not a word.