Life is Like a Jet Ski.
I love the exhilaration I feel when I ride a jet ski. When riding on Lake Mead (near Las Vegas), there's nothing but you, the water, the sky, and the surrounding mountains. I love gunning the motor on a calm day, whizzing along at about 60mph. When you're going that fast on the water, it feels almost like your breaking the rules of physics--you could never swim that fast, nor could any sailboat glide along at such a high speed. In fact, I think that "breaking the rules" is at the heart of the excitement in such things as riding a roller coaster or along a zip line.
Sometimes I feel like I am in control of the jet ski, such as when I'm ramping up my speed. Other times I feel like I'm struggling to hang on as a result of going too fast, braking too hard, or riding a massive wake. My life feels a bit like it's in this "hanging on" phase. I've worked really hard to put myself in a good position. I've generally followed my interests pretty well, and I can truly say that I like my work. However, I feel like something of a drifter right now, like my level of ambition is significantly decreased. I do what I need to do for a good job, but I don't often think past that. Or I wait for others to tell me what to do--I'm good at that. As far as coming up with my own directions, I have a difficult time. My motivation to do this is relatively low, and my experiences with being in this position are not excellent. Perhaps I just like being a follower. I don't see anything wrong with that, but I don't know why I feel guilty about it. I feel like I ramped up my speed, and now I'm trying to hang on tight so that I don't shut any doors. Perhaps this is a phase, and maybe I'll get more excited about things once I get into the work for my master's degree.
Peace out.
PS It sucks that the Saints lost tonight :-(
Sometimes I feel like I am in control of the jet ski, such as when I'm ramping up my speed. Other times I feel like I'm struggling to hang on as a result of going too fast, braking too hard, or riding a massive wake. My life feels a bit like it's in this "hanging on" phase. I've worked really hard to put myself in a good position. I've generally followed my interests pretty well, and I can truly say that I like my work. However, I feel like something of a drifter right now, like my level of ambition is significantly decreased. I do what I need to do for a good job, but I don't often think past that. Or I wait for others to tell me what to do--I'm good at that. As far as coming up with my own directions, I have a difficult time. My motivation to do this is relatively low, and my experiences with being in this position are not excellent. Perhaps I just like being a follower. I don't see anything wrong with that, but I don't know why I feel guilty about it. I feel like I ramped up my speed, and now I'm trying to hang on tight so that I don't shut any doors. Perhaps this is a phase, and maybe I'll get more excited about things once I get into the work for my master's degree.
Peace out.
PS It sucks that the Saints lost tonight :-(