inbox #10
inbox #10
1. exo/shinee, taemin/kai, president and vice president of the high school anime club, any rating
2. yge/2ne1, hayi/minji, hayi can't dance, minji teaches her how, any rating
3. big bang, gd/top, they enlist at the same time and go through boot camp together, any rating
4. 2ne1, cl/any, hs au, cl is a varsity sports hotshot, any rating
5 ( Read more... )
1. exo/shinee, taemin/kai, president and vice president of the high school anime club, any rating
2. yge/2ne1, hayi/minji, hayi can't dance, minji teaches her how, any rating
3. big bang, gd/top, they enlist at the same time and go through boot camp together, any rating
4. 2ne1, cl/any, hs au, cl is a varsity sports hotshot, any rating
5 ( Read more... )
____
Even though they decided to enlist at the same time, Jiyong never imagined he and Seunghyun would be placed in the same unit, let alone the same dorm.
It's almost like their trainee days in some sort of ironic way. Bunking with a bunch of guys he's just met. The strict rules about cleanliness and punctuality. Except this time the endless vocal and dance training has been replaced with nothing but physical exercise. Jiyong is told that things like weapons and first aid training were to come later. If he were to survive physical training, that is.
And really, Jiyong didn't need to be spending five years in some crummy government office, filing papers and answering phones or whatever. The army is tough, but it's the shortest route back into the studio where he belongs.
He expected Seunghyun to though; take an easy government job, that is. But he didn't.
Jiyong remembers their conversation from four or five or six months ago. It was past midnight, definitely. Teddy had already gone and left Jiyong and Seunghyun the keys to the studio.
Most people working there were already gone for the day. But Jiyong couldn't leave until he worked out the bridge to this song. Seunghyun stayed behind to “help” but he didn't do much helping.
“We should go together,” Seunghyun says after what must've been twenty minutes of silence. With Jiyong arranging lines on the computer screen and Seunghyun doodling on the once blank pages of Jiyong's lyrics notebook.
Jiyong sighs. “Go where?” he asks.
“The army,” Seunghyun says. He's doing the finishing touches on what Jiyong thinks might be a drawing of a cat-cow-deer hybrid as he speaks. “We have to go soon right? Might as well do it together,” Seunghyun says.
“No, you have to do it soon. I can wait another year,” Jiyong says with a snicker.
Seunghyun pokes him arm with the pen. “Don't be like that,” he says.
There's a few moments of silence, save for Seunghyun's sketching and Jiyong's clicking of the mouse, before Jiyong says, “You really want to go into the army together?”
“Yeah, why not?” Seunghyun asks.
“I dunno, it's hard. Do you think you'll be able to do it?” Jiyong says, looking to Seunghyun.
Seunghyun looks back at him, his face falls in exaggerated shock as he clutches his chest. “I'm hurt you think so little of me,” he says.
Jiyong smiles. “Come on, you know what I mean. You're not exactly the picture of health.”
“And you are?” Seunghyun says with a laugh.
“Healthier than you,” Jiyong says as he pinches Seunghyun's arm fat through his sweater.
Seunghyun swats his hand away and rubs his arm. “No respect from kids these days,” Seunghyun grumbles.
Jiyong just giggles under his breath, turning back to the computer to play aloud his fixed arrangement.
___
Now they're in the same room with two other guys. Four bunk beds against the wall. Four mini closets. One alarm clock.
Jiyong learns the names of the other two, Park Sangjun and Kim Hyunwook. They're both look really young compared to him and Seunghyun.
Sangjun is the meek type. Aside from formal introductions he shys away, particularly from Jiyong and Seunghyun. Hyunwook is the complete opposite, a total tough guy. Upon first seeing Jiyong, he looked him up and down, tch'd and turned away. Jiyong only knows his name because of his name tag.
Seunghyun is the first to get his clothes and boots put away. It's protocol that they be folded and stacked in a certain way, and upon looking, Jiyong notices they're less than perfect.
“You're gonna get in trouble,” Jiyong says as he begins to fold his own clothes.
Seunghyun plops unceremoniously onto the bottom bunk of the closest bed. He snorts. “Whatever,” he says.
Jiyong rolls his eyes and goes back to folding. When he's done, he turns to find he's stuck with the other bottom bunk. From the top bunk Hyunwook smirks.
Jiyong just rolls his eyes again and finishes getting his things together.
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The alarm clock goes off at four in the morning. Jiyong groans, barely managing to wake himself up.
He, Sangjun, and Hyunwook all immediately get up in their groggy state, putting on clothes and boots. Seunghyun doesn't move from his bed.
Jiyong sighs, finishes lacing his right boot before going to wake Seunghyun. Jiyong walks over to the bed and gently shakes him.
“Hyung, get up,” Jiyong says. Seunghyun merely groans.
Not in the mood, Jiyong shoves him, forcing Seunghyun to roll over. “Get up, you ass. If you get us all in trouble I swear to god....”
“Goodd, fiine,” Seunghyun says as he sits up, swatting Jiyong's hand away. He rubs his eyes and curls into his blankets.
“Hurry up,” Jiyong says. “They're going to come check any minute.”
“I'm uuup,” Seunghyun whines, waving his hand at Jiyong.
At that moment, their sergeant walks in and Jiyong immediately returns to his bedside, as do the others. Seunghyun scrambles to get out of bed and trips around his blankets.
Jiyong tries not to cringe as Seunghyun gets yelled at.
____
Jiyong watches from the sidelines as Seunghyun desperately tries to climb the rock wall of the obstacle course. He gets up a couple steps, his arms wobble and he falls. It happens over and over again as a sergeant yells at his side.
Jiyong, even in his older age, is still rather fit. Though his years of smoking have caught up with him, even though he quit a few months before service. It's definitely harder to catch his breath than it was when he was nineteen.
He takes small sips from his canteen, the sergeant made it very clear that it's all he's going to get. The urge is strong to guzzle what he can drink and pour the rest over his head, like he's done in concerts years past.
Across the field, Seunghyun falls again and this time he doesn't get up. He sits, looking defeated, panting. The sergeant yells and yells at him but Seunghyun doesn't budge.
It doesn't look good, but before Jiyong can watch what happens next a whistle sounds and he's told to go run laps around the field. He gives one last look over his shoulder to Seunghyun before taking off.
__
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Seunghyun tosses and turns every few seconds, the rustling of his blankets and creaking of the springs echoing in the room. Every now and then a turn is accompanied by a groan or sigh.
“Hyung,” Jiyong whipsers. Seunghyun doesn't answer. “Hyung,” Jiyong whispers again more sharply, sitting up in his bed.
“What?” Seunghyun replies.
“Why are you moving so much? Stay still, go to sleep,” Jiyong says.
“I... can't,” Seunghyun replies, his words awkwardly choked. And then he turns once again.
Jiyong lies back down, not sure what to reply or what to do. He hears the bed creak again.
Jiyong sits back up. “Are you okay over there?” he whispers.
There's a long pause before Seunghyun replies, “... No... I don't know?”
Jiyong gets up and goes across the room to Seunghyun's bed. Without a word he crawls into the bed, facing him. Seunghyun groans in protest before Jiyong shushes him.
“What's wrong?” Jiyong asks as he smooths a hand over Seunghyun's buzz cut.
“I don't know? My chest kinda hurts,” Seunghyun says as he rubs the front of his shirt.
“Your heart?” Jiyong asks.
“Yeah, kinda. I guess,” Seunghyun says.
“Like how? Are you actually having a heart attack or what?” Jiyong asks, moving to feel Seunghyun's forehead.
“No, my right arm doesn't hurt. Your arm is supposed to hurt when you have one of those right?” Seunghyun says.
“Yeah, I think so,” Jiyong says. “You feel a little sweaty though.”
Seunghyun groans and Jiyong gently shushes him again. He cradles Seunghyun to his chest, softly rubbing his back as he holds him. Seunghyun hesitates for a moment before clinging to Jiyong, his fingers digging, pulling at Jiyong's night shirt.
It reminds Jiyong of when Big Bang were rookies and would all sleep together. Sometimes waking up in the morning cuddling and awkwardly laughing it off. Sometimes doing it on purpose because someone had a bad day and really needed the comfort.
“I think you're just stressed out. Sometimes I get pains when I'm stressed,” Jiyong says.
“It hurts, god,” Seunghyun says with a sigh.
“I know, I know,” Jiyong says softly as he begins to rock them a little. He pets Seunghyun's hair again. “Just try to sleep.”
“Okay, but please don't leave me,” Seunghyun says.
“I won't.”
Jiyong knows, tomorrow they'll be in trouble. Either because Hyunwook or Sangjun will tell their sergeant or because their sergeant will catch them. Jiyong wonders what the punishment is for cuddling with one of your dorm mates? Probably something involving running.
He sighs and forces himself not to think about it.
__
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During the beginning of the first set of exercises that morning, Jiyong sees Seunghyun talking to an officer instead of doing jumping jacks. Jiyong loses his footing watching Seunghyun walking away with said officer. He doesn't know where Seunghyun goes seeing as he's immediately forced into doing an extra set instead.
Jiyong doesn't see Seunghyun until that evening, when he returns from dinner. He didn't even see Seunghyun in the canteen either, so something must be up.
He walks into their dorm to find Seunghyun in his civilian clothes.
“What's going on?”
Seunghyun smiles. “I'm leaving. I'm not cut out for this shit,” he says as he makes his bed one last time, still not tucking in the corners.
“What?” Jiyong says.
“I went and talked to the recruitment officer. He even agreed I don't have the discipline for the army. I'm gonna go do some another boring government job. I've been getting yelled at and doing paper work all day for it. Gave them a nice fat check, too.” Seunghyun waves a hand as he talks, like they're fucking gossiping over tea.
“Wow, I fucking hate you. You couldn't even stick out a few weeks of physical training, seriously?” Jiyong says with a glare.
“Don't be pissy, Jiyong. You and I both know I'm miserable here--”
“And you think I'm not?! You think any of us want to be here?” Jiyong says, arms outstretched at the sides. “You said we should do this together!”
Seunghyun stares at the ground as Jiyong's arms fall back to his sides. They stand in silence as Jiyong tries really hard not to cry out of frustration, out of sadness, out of loneliness.
Suddenly Hyunwook enters the room, he stops a few steps from the door, eying the situation.
“I'm gonna go,” Seunghyun says and walks right past the both of them. Jiyong doesn't watch him leave.
Hyunwook snickers as he heads for his bunk. “Lover's quarrel?”
Jiyong snaps, grabs him by the back collar and pulls. “Listen here you little shit,” Jiyong says through his teeth. “You fucking talk like that to me again and I'll fucking punch your teeth out.” With that Jiyong pushes him forward.
“Geez,” Hyunwook says, rubbing the back of his neck and retreating to his bed.
Jiyong feels like he should apologize, but only for a second. He sits on his own bed and begins to undo his boots. Suddenly his hand feels wet, and then his vision starts to blur.
Jiyong tries to cry quietly, but can't hold back the sniffles.
He doesn't pull his boots off before curling into the fetal position in his bed.
He doesn't pull up the blankets.
He doesn't wipe his eyes.
And he pretends he doesn't care.
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