Natural Instincts 8/13
Author: kpopforlife
Word Count: 3275
Rating: PG-13 (overall NC-17)
Pairing/Focus: Jongyu
Genre: omega!verse
Warnings: Omega!verse, knotting, dom!jinki
Summary: As soon as Jinki stepped off of the elevator he knew something was off. There was a tension, a faint whiff of something different, something foreign that laced the stagnant air with the most delicious aroma he had ever encountered. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but something was amiss. His senses were heightened, body reacting on its own accord, alpha pheromones immediately stirring, but for what he wasn’t quite sure.
lethallycute & MandeeGee betas<3
Prev
Torture. That was the only way to describe it. His beta, his mate, his everything was panting into the phone, begging for him, and he was hundreds of miles away. He was in a different fucking country. The stewardess was telling him to turn the phone off so the plane could take off but her voice but a distant whisper compared to the blood pounding in his ears. Jonghyun needed him. Jinki would swim back to Korea if he thought it would get him there faster. In an instant, the plane became too small, the walls closing in around him, choking the air out of his lungs. His knuckles were white from gripping the phone so tight, the screen going dark, cutting off the only connection he had with his beta as his whole body thrummed with energy, with an all-consuming need to be with Jonghyun. How on earth was he going to survive the next few hours?
~~~
After so many years of dealing with the inconvenience of a heat cycle, Jonghyun was keenly aware of how his body and mental state started to change when his heat set in. He had felt it coming on before Jinki had even called him that evening. It has still been weak, a subtle restlessness in his core that would only fester as time went on, but it had been early enough to hide it and hide it he did. The last thing he had wanted was for Jinki to find out about his impending heat while the group was in fucking Japan. Bonded alphas were not the most stable of creatures when separated from their bondmates. Correction, bonded alphas weren’t the most stable creatures, period. But Jonghyun was already harming the group enough by being out of operation now anyway; he really didn’t want to make Jinki lose his shit in the middle of a broadcast in a foreign country. That was not on his to-do list. The company would slaughter them both.
However, hearing Jinki’s voice, even over a tinny international call, had not in any way helped quell the fire that was simmering inside him. It might be the heat talking; definitely the heat talking, but Jinki even sounded like sex. Good sex. Phenomenal sex. Sex he wanted to be having. Jinki’s voice was just so smooth and rich, and worst of all, digging up memories from their first time together. Jonghyun could barely think past the flood in his mind, the promises Jinki had all but growled in his ear, the filth Jinki had bitten and branded into his skin. It only pushed him further and further down memory lane. While Jonghyun may balk at the thought of bonding, his body was a traitorous entity that refused to forget how fucking good Jinki felt inside him. In that moment Jonghyun had an epiphany of sorts… he was so screwed. Metaphorically of course. Because literally there would be no screwing whatsoever, which was kind of the whole problem.
~~~
The world was out to get him. That was the only explanation. The two hour long flight felt a lot more like 2 weeks in his current state. He just hoped his cologne was strong enough to mask the pheromones that had started to seep off his skin and into the confined space of the cabin. His body was just so, so, so ready to be with his mate, it had been so long. His clothes were too tight, his body too warm and his seat too small. Everything felt weird and uncomfortable and wrong, so wrong. He wasn’t supposed to be here. This isn’t where he wanted to be, needed to be. When the captain came across the speakers to announce their landing, Jinki didn’t even feel relief. He was closer to his beta, but not close enough. Their dorm was still over an hour away from the airport. He didn’t have a car and all the managers were with the group in Japan. He would have to rely on a taxi to get him home because it was too late for the trains to still be running. That still wasn’t good enough though. Nothing short of teleportation was going to be good enough for Jinki today.
Even the twenty minutes it took for the plane to touch down felt like an eternity and a half. How could time move so slow? Was the whole world moving at this snail’s pace? Or just Jinki’s world? His impatient fingers drummed against his thigh, eyes darting across the black ocean beneath him. He could feel the frustration building on itself. His bond was anxious to be with his mate and his body demanded the attention of his beta. He hadn’t had any relief since that fateful day they bonded all those months ago and his body was making it clear that it had been too damn long. He needed this, but… did Jonghyun even want him to come? The in heat beta wanted him there. He knew that. But did Jonghyun? The younger has posed no opposition to the idea beyond concern for Jinki, but he had never really said yes either. And it’s not like Jinki could get a straight, non heat-induced answer out of him now. Jinki just really didn’t want to fuck everything up. They had just got on amicable terms and the last thing he wanted was to ruin that.
~~~
Going through a heat was a difficult experience to describe. It was a little bit like being in a dream. Jonghyun guessed it was a similar to what it felt like to take drugs. Not that he would know for sure or anything but research told him as much. During his heat, there are parts he could remember like a knife to the chest, the building pressure inside himself, the aching need to come, his skin so hot it felt like it would char and burn until he was nothing but bones. But these memories were like fireworks during a fog, bursts of consciousness during an otherwise cloudy and confusing montage of sensations. It was a mix of need and heat and pleasure that wrapped around him in never ending waves of emotion. It ranged from the aching torture to blinding pleasure. There was no in between. There was only one constant, his need for more.
This was only the second time now but he could tell, his heat had been impossibly worse since Jinki. Or maybe he just now knew how good it could be and anything less than that felt like agony, because that was the only way to describe it; agony. He would never be satisfied with anything less that an alpha. His alpha. Jinki had ruined him. Ruined him in the best possible way and now Jonghyun needed Jinki to ruin him again.
He would much, much, much rather have had Jinki here than go through it alone. In retrospect he probably would have done well to share that little tidbit of information. They had left things on a very awkward ‘maybe’ in terms of if they should make use of a rather inconvenient bond, but Jonghyun’s heat helped him to think in more black and white terms. He wanted Jinki here. In the back of his mind he really did worry about how Jinki would handle it. It wasn’t fair to the elder. It was cruel to give him everything he wanted only to rip it all away three days later. Even if Jinki knew and fully understood what he was signing up for… it made Jonghyun feel like dirt. But right now, Jonghyun didn’t much care. He wanted to be selfish. He wanted Jinki. But Jinki was in Japan. And Jonghyun was here. And life sucked.
~~~
Jinki was a jittery mess in the back of the cab. He had the windows rolled down despite the chill in the late night air. He felt suffocated otherwise, from his own pheromones and from his lack of control over anything right now. How on earth was there traffic? It was 2am! The streets should be empty. He didn’t have the time or patience for this. He had to fight everything inside him to not call Jonghyun again. That would only make this worse, and he was in a bad enough state as it was. It would do nothing to help his impatience either. He knew he should distract himself; think about anything but Jonghyun… Jonghyun writhing on the bed, Jonghyun touching himself, Jonghyun begging to be touched, fucked- no. He needed to think of anything but that. His knee began bouncing in impatience once again. Every muscle in his body was tense and stiff. Every muscle. And he really didn’t need any embarrassing photos to find their way onto the Internet. He had been lucky so far though. The fans had no idea he was coming back early since it had been such a sudden decision, so the airport had been blissfully empty.
“How much longer?” Jinki croaked, glancing at his watch for the millionth time.
“About thirty minutes or so?” The taxi driver replied, complete un-phased by Jinki’s obvious impatience.
“I’ll pay double the meter if you make it fifteen.”
“I- yes sir,” he replied, the car lurching forward.
~~~
Jonghyun felt the shift in the air immediately. He didn’t even have to open his eyes to know because it felt as if a bomb had gone off inside him the moment Jinki stepped into the room. The air flooded with potent, delicious pheromones that made his whole body hum with want and need and anticipated pleasure. His brain was too clouded to think about the why and how of Jinki being here, in Korea, with him. He couldn’t think beyond the very obvious, very distracting notion that his alpha was finally here. He could feel it in the air, how much Jinki wanted him, needed him. It was like a force of nature all by itself, powerful and demanding. And Jonghyun wasn’t about to deny Jinki what they both desired so desperately. He could feel himself sinking, drowning in his heat and the pheromones and he let it happen. There was nothing inside himself that wanted to fight against it. He wanted Jinki. He was all beta and he wanted to surrender to his instincts. He wanted to be taken, used. He wanted to feel everything and most of all; he wanted to please his alpha. Because the beta inside him needed to please his alpha. It was that simple. He let himself slip away, embracing the instinctual pull inside himself to submit, to give himself to an alpha. His alpha. Jinki.
~~~
Jonghyun could always tell when his heat was starting to pass because the picture started to sharpen around the edges. He became more aware of his surroundings as the clouds in his head started to dissipate. His body still begged for sex and he was far from thinking clearly but… he was taking baby steps back towards rationality. It felt so different now though. He could still read his body with ease, but for the first time in his life, the last thing he wanted was for his heat to end. He had always associated heat with frustration. With Jinki however, his body felt sated at the deepest level. Not just physically. Well, obviously physically. He had just spent how many hours in bed with an alpha? But it was more than that. He felt… calm. At peace even. It was like everything inside himself was embracing the idea of bonding, of being like this forever, with Jinki. Everything but his mind at least.
It was in this slowly clearing haze that Jonghyun found his eyes continued to pull towards Jinki. The elder’s eyes were closed and his breathing was even, he almost looked like he was asleep but Jonghyun knew he wasn’t. He could still hear his heart beat, the blood pushing through his veins so loud it was almost deafening. He looked… perfect. There was no doubt about it; he was an exquisite specimen of man. His body was soft but with an obvious layer of strength. He looked muscular but in an effortless sort of way. It was a bit intimidating and a whole lot attractive. While Jonghyun spend hours at the gym every week to get his strong physique, he knew Jinki did the bare minimum to make sure management left him alone. Yet he still looked absolutely delicious. Under normal circumstances he would have felt jealousy. Now though, it was much closer to desire. He wanted to touch, feel every ripple and indenture of Jinki’s body. It was the heat talking… definitely the heat talking… always the heat talking, but that didn’t make the urge go away.
“Hyung,” Jonghyun whispered as he wrapped an arm around Jinki’s waist and rested his head against Jinki’s chest. He couldn’t even begin to guess how long they had been in this bed or how many times Jinki had brought him to pleasure. All he could say for sure was that he wasn’t ready for it to end. His body was on a slow decline from his heat but… the craving was still very much present. The whole room reeked of sweat, sex and alpha; it assaulted his very being in the most primal way, making him press closer, getting as much skin to skin contact as possible. Even if he was in control of himself now, he knew, he wouldn’t be satisfied until Jinki took him again, and again, and again.
“Yeah?” came the lazy reply.
“Are you okay?” Jonghyun asked as he nuzzled deeper into the elder’s chest. He knew, like always, he wasn’t really being fair to Jinki. He knew, but he couldn’t seem to do anything about it. Jinki just smelled so good. His instincts told him to find the source of that scent and cling to it, and he was definitely clinging right now. He could continue to blame it on his heat but that excuse was getting thinner and thinner by the minute. He just felt so comfortable with Jinki. They fit together well. And his heat-addled brain couldn’t seem to focus on anything except how well they fit together in a physical sense.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Are you okay? Are you coming around to… yourself again? I can...” Jinki trailed off, making a motion to get up but Jonghyun was far too comfortable to let him do something so stupid as to leave their shared bed.
“No. Stay. This… it feels nice,” Jonghyun replied, giving Jinki a little reassuring squeeze to reiterate his meaning.
Jonghyun could hear the smile in Jinki’s voice, “Yeah, it does. So this is okay, right? I know we never really came to an official conclusion on the whole ‘us with you being in heat thing.’ I don’t want to fuck everything up between us I just… it was hard, being away from you. It was really hard and then you suddenly went into heat and I already wasn’t thinking clearly and just...”
“Hyung. Calm down. Do you hear yourself? ‘I’m not sure if you would want an alpha to fuck you during your heat or not.’ Seriously? I just didn’t want to fuck up everything between us. I know it’s different for you. A lot different. And I don’t want to make things harder for you than it already is. Why… why did you agree to this? Really?” Jonghyun finally asked, curiosity getting the better of him, turning his head and digging his chin into Jinki’s chest so he could look into the elder’s eyes. He knew that this arrangement must be difficult on Jinki and yet he had not only agreed to it, but suggested it in the first place.
“I- don’t freak out or anything if it sounds creepy but even if it’s just for a short time… I get to make you mine. Even if it’s just pretend… I… I need it. It may seem backwards to you but… I know not to read into it. Don’t worry about me,” The whispered words hung heavy in the air, their honesty weighing down on Jonghyun and choking him. “Are you okay? Getting back to normal now?” Jinki murmured; the nervousness was clear in his words.
Jonghyun cleared his throat, trying to fight away the emotions that were getting clogged up in his chest, “Yeah I’m… getting there. And thank you for telling me. I don’t want you to think that you have to hide your feelings from me all the time. I’ll never understand what you are going through, what you are thinking if you don’t tell me so… don’t be scared to tell me.”
“Thank you, for letting me stay, for understanding. It means a lot to me,” Jinki whispered, emotion thick in his voice.
“So tell me how the show went in Japan? How did you get back here so fast?” Jonghyun asked, steering the conversation onto a lighter topic.
“It was okay. I honestly don’t remember much of it. I was kind of distracted,” Jinki said with a laugh.
“Was it that bad? You were only gone for a little bit,” Jonghyun asked, pure curiosity without a hint of judgment.
“Yeah… the bond is… it has a mind of it’s own sometimes.”
“What do you mean?”
“Think of it as a set of rubber bands that tie me to you. When I’m with you, here with you physically and when we are… close emotionally, the bands are loose and it’s easier. When I’m away from you though, the rubber band is pulled taunt.”
“So if we were like… together. If I accepted the bond… it would be easier for you to be far away?”
Jinki coughed nervously, “Well… yes. If we were closer emotionally it would ease the strain of being away from you physically.”
“And when we are closer physically it’s easier to deal with the emotional distance?” Jonghyun asked quietly.
“Yes,” Jinki whispered.
Jonghyun pressed himself closer to Jinki rather than responding. His pleasure high quickly fading into his usual emotional state: laden with guilt. He knew the past few months had been hard on Jinki, everyone knew that, but he was starting to get a glimpse of how deep this whole bonding thing affected Jinki. He had always kind of thought of bonding as deep infatuation and lust. If it was a product of the bond it wasn’t real. Give it time and these fabricated emotions would fade. However, Jinki had always been genuine. He hadn’t become a different person once he was bonded. He hadn’t acted like a sex-crazed alpha with no regard for Jonghyun’s feelings. The only time he had even come close to that was the incident with Taemin. And some reading had told Jonghyun that even then, Jinki had been controlling himself. Even when he lost it, he was still being strong. Still holding it together. Still thinking about everyone else. Still thinking about Jonghyun.
All this time he had just been Jinki… It was like everything he ever knew about alphas, about bonding was all a lie. Even as they lay naked in bed together, Jinki still looked at him as if he was the most beautiful and precious thing he had ever seen. There was no lust, nothing degrading, only genuine care and affection. He wasn’t just an alpha, he was Jinki. It seemed Jonghyun had a lot to learn still but for the first time, he felt like he was ready. Ready see the truth. The truth about Jinki and the truth about himself.
Next
That didn't take too long now did it? You are all probably pissed there was no smut. Patience little ones...
Word Count: 3275
Rating: PG-13 (overall NC-17)
Pairing/Focus: Jongyu
Genre: omega!verse
Warnings: Omega!verse, knotting, dom!jinki
Summary: As soon as Jinki stepped off of the elevator he knew something was off. There was a tension, a faint whiff of something different, something foreign that laced the stagnant air with the most delicious aroma he had ever encountered. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but something was amiss. His senses were heightened, body reacting on its own accord, alpha pheromones immediately stirring, but for what he wasn’t quite sure.
lethallycute & MandeeGee betas<3
Prev
Torture. That was the only way to describe it. His beta, his mate, his everything was panting into the phone, begging for him, and he was hundreds of miles away. He was in a different fucking country. The stewardess was telling him to turn the phone off so the plane could take off but her voice but a distant whisper compared to the blood pounding in his ears. Jonghyun needed him. Jinki would swim back to Korea if he thought it would get him there faster. In an instant, the plane became too small, the walls closing in around him, choking the air out of his lungs. His knuckles were white from gripping the phone so tight, the screen going dark, cutting off the only connection he had with his beta as his whole body thrummed with energy, with an all-consuming need to be with Jonghyun. How on earth was he going to survive the next few hours?
~~~
After so many years of dealing with the inconvenience of a heat cycle, Jonghyun was keenly aware of how his body and mental state started to change when his heat set in. He had felt it coming on before Jinki had even called him that evening. It has still been weak, a subtle restlessness in his core that would only fester as time went on, but it had been early enough to hide it and hide it he did. The last thing he had wanted was for Jinki to find out about his impending heat while the group was in fucking Japan. Bonded alphas were not the most stable of creatures when separated from their bondmates. Correction, bonded alphas weren’t the most stable creatures, period. But Jonghyun was already harming the group enough by being out of operation now anyway; he really didn’t want to make Jinki lose his shit in the middle of a broadcast in a foreign country. That was not on his to-do list. The company would slaughter them both.
However, hearing Jinki’s voice, even over a tinny international call, had not in any way helped quell the fire that was simmering inside him. It might be the heat talking; definitely the heat talking, but Jinki even sounded like sex. Good sex. Phenomenal sex. Sex he wanted to be having. Jinki’s voice was just so smooth and rich, and worst of all, digging up memories from their first time together. Jonghyun could barely think past the flood in his mind, the promises Jinki had all but growled in his ear, the filth Jinki had bitten and branded into his skin. It only pushed him further and further down memory lane. While Jonghyun may balk at the thought of bonding, his body was a traitorous entity that refused to forget how fucking good Jinki felt inside him. In that moment Jonghyun had an epiphany of sorts… he was so screwed. Metaphorically of course. Because literally there would be no screwing whatsoever, which was kind of the whole problem.
~~~
The world was out to get him. That was the only explanation. The two hour long flight felt a lot more like 2 weeks in his current state. He just hoped his cologne was strong enough to mask the pheromones that had started to seep off his skin and into the confined space of the cabin. His body was just so, so, so ready to be with his mate, it had been so long. His clothes were too tight, his body too warm and his seat too small. Everything felt weird and uncomfortable and wrong, so wrong. He wasn’t supposed to be here. This isn’t where he wanted to be, needed to be. When the captain came across the speakers to announce their landing, Jinki didn’t even feel relief. He was closer to his beta, but not close enough. Their dorm was still over an hour away from the airport. He didn’t have a car and all the managers were with the group in Japan. He would have to rely on a taxi to get him home because it was too late for the trains to still be running. That still wasn’t good enough though. Nothing short of teleportation was going to be good enough for Jinki today.
Even the twenty minutes it took for the plane to touch down felt like an eternity and a half. How could time move so slow? Was the whole world moving at this snail’s pace? Or just Jinki’s world? His impatient fingers drummed against his thigh, eyes darting across the black ocean beneath him. He could feel the frustration building on itself. His bond was anxious to be with his mate and his body demanded the attention of his beta. He hadn’t had any relief since that fateful day they bonded all those months ago and his body was making it clear that it had been too damn long. He needed this, but… did Jonghyun even want him to come? The in heat beta wanted him there. He knew that. But did Jonghyun? The younger has posed no opposition to the idea beyond concern for Jinki, but he had never really said yes either. And it’s not like Jinki could get a straight, non heat-induced answer out of him now. Jinki just really didn’t want to fuck everything up. They had just got on amicable terms and the last thing he wanted was to ruin that.
~~~
Going through a heat was a difficult experience to describe. It was a little bit like being in a dream. Jonghyun guessed it was a similar to what it felt like to take drugs. Not that he would know for sure or anything but research told him as much. During his heat, there are parts he could remember like a knife to the chest, the building pressure inside himself, the aching need to come, his skin so hot it felt like it would char and burn until he was nothing but bones. But these memories were like fireworks during a fog, bursts of consciousness during an otherwise cloudy and confusing montage of sensations. It was a mix of need and heat and pleasure that wrapped around him in never ending waves of emotion. It ranged from the aching torture to blinding pleasure. There was no in between. There was only one constant, his need for more.
This was only the second time now but he could tell, his heat had been impossibly worse since Jinki. Or maybe he just now knew how good it could be and anything less than that felt like agony, because that was the only way to describe it; agony. He would never be satisfied with anything less that an alpha. His alpha. Jinki had ruined him. Ruined him in the best possible way and now Jonghyun needed Jinki to ruin him again.
He would much, much, much rather have had Jinki here than go through it alone. In retrospect he probably would have done well to share that little tidbit of information. They had left things on a very awkward ‘maybe’ in terms of if they should make use of a rather inconvenient bond, but Jonghyun’s heat helped him to think in more black and white terms. He wanted Jinki here. In the back of his mind he really did worry about how Jinki would handle it. It wasn’t fair to the elder. It was cruel to give him everything he wanted only to rip it all away three days later. Even if Jinki knew and fully understood what he was signing up for… it made Jonghyun feel like dirt. But right now, Jonghyun didn’t much care. He wanted to be selfish. He wanted Jinki. But Jinki was in Japan. And Jonghyun was here. And life sucked.
~~~
Jinki was a jittery mess in the back of the cab. He had the windows rolled down despite the chill in the late night air. He felt suffocated otherwise, from his own pheromones and from his lack of control over anything right now. How on earth was there traffic? It was 2am! The streets should be empty. He didn’t have the time or patience for this. He had to fight everything inside him to not call Jonghyun again. That would only make this worse, and he was in a bad enough state as it was. It would do nothing to help his impatience either. He knew he should distract himself; think about anything but Jonghyun… Jonghyun writhing on the bed, Jonghyun touching himself, Jonghyun begging to be touched, fucked- no. He needed to think of anything but that. His knee began bouncing in impatience once again. Every muscle in his body was tense and stiff. Every muscle. And he really didn’t need any embarrassing photos to find their way onto the Internet. He had been lucky so far though. The fans had no idea he was coming back early since it had been such a sudden decision, so the airport had been blissfully empty.
“How much longer?” Jinki croaked, glancing at his watch for the millionth time.
“About thirty minutes or so?” The taxi driver replied, complete un-phased by Jinki’s obvious impatience.
“I’ll pay double the meter if you make it fifteen.”
“I- yes sir,” he replied, the car lurching forward.
~~~
Jonghyun felt the shift in the air immediately. He didn’t even have to open his eyes to know because it felt as if a bomb had gone off inside him the moment Jinki stepped into the room. The air flooded with potent, delicious pheromones that made his whole body hum with want and need and anticipated pleasure. His brain was too clouded to think about the why and how of Jinki being here, in Korea, with him. He couldn’t think beyond the very obvious, very distracting notion that his alpha was finally here. He could feel it in the air, how much Jinki wanted him, needed him. It was like a force of nature all by itself, powerful and demanding. And Jonghyun wasn’t about to deny Jinki what they both desired so desperately. He could feel himself sinking, drowning in his heat and the pheromones and he let it happen. There was nothing inside himself that wanted to fight against it. He wanted Jinki. He was all beta and he wanted to surrender to his instincts. He wanted to be taken, used. He wanted to feel everything and most of all; he wanted to please his alpha. Because the beta inside him needed to please his alpha. It was that simple. He let himself slip away, embracing the instinctual pull inside himself to submit, to give himself to an alpha. His alpha. Jinki.
~~~
Jonghyun could always tell when his heat was starting to pass because the picture started to sharpen around the edges. He became more aware of his surroundings as the clouds in his head started to dissipate. His body still begged for sex and he was far from thinking clearly but… he was taking baby steps back towards rationality. It felt so different now though. He could still read his body with ease, but for the first time in his life, the last thing he wanted was for his heat to end. He had always associated heat with frustration. With Jinki however, his body felt sated at the deepest level. Not just physically. Well, obviously physically. He had just spent how many hours in bed with an alpha? But it was more than that. He felt… calm. At peace even. It was like everything inside himself was embracing the idea of bonding, of being like this forever, with Jinki. Everything but his mind at least.
It was in this slowly clearing haze that Jonghyun found his eyes continued to pull towards Jinki. The elder’s eyes were closed and his breathing was even, he almost looked like he was asleep but Jonghyun knew he wasn’t. He could still hear his heart beat, the blood pushing through his veins so loud it was almost deafening. He looked… perfect. There was no doubt about it; he was an exquisite specimen of man. His body was soft but with an obvious layer of strength. He looked muscular but in an effortless sort of way. It was a bit intimidating and a whole lot attractive. While Jonghyun spend hours at the gym every week to get his strong physique, he knew Jinki did the bare minimum to make sure management left him alone. Yet he still looked absolutely delicious. Under normal circumstances he would have felt jealousy. Now though, it was much closer to desire. He wanted to touch, feel every ripple and indenture of Jinki’s body. It was the heat talking… definitely the heat talking… always the heat talking, but that didn’t make the urge go away.
“Hyung,” Jonghyun whispered as he wrapped an arm around Jinki’s waist and rested his head against Jinki’s chest. He couldn’t even begin to guess how long they had been in this bed or how many times Jinki had brought him to pleasure. All he could say for sure was that he wasn’t ready for it to end. His body was on a slow decline from his heat but… the craving was still very much present. The whole room reeked of sweat, sex and alpha; it assaulted his very being in the most primal way, making him press closer, getting as much skin to skin contact as possible. Even if he was in control of himself now, he knew, he wouldn’t be satisfied until Jinki took him again, and again, and again.
“Yeah?” came the lazy reply.
“Are you okay?” Jonghyun asked as he nuzzled deeper into the elder’s chest. He knew, like always, he wasn’t really being fair to Jinki. He knew, but he couldn’t seem to do anything about it. Jinki just smelled so good. His instincts told him to find the source of that scent and cling to it, and he was definitely clinging right now. He could continue to blame it on his heat but that excuse was getting thinner and thinner by the minute. He just felt so comfortable with Jinki. They fit together well. And his heat-addled brain couldn’t seem to focus on anything except how well they fit together in a physical sense.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Are you okay? Are you coming around to… yourself again? I can...” Jinki trailed off, making a motion to get up but Jonghyun was far too comfortable to let him do something so stupid as to leave their shared bed.
“No. Stay. This… it feels nice,” Jonghyun replied, giving Jinki a little reassuring squeeze to reiterate his meaning.
Jonghyun could hear the smile in Jinki’s voice, “Yeah, it does. So this is okay, right? I know we never really came to an official conclusion on the whole ‘us with you being in heat thing.’ I don’t want to fuck everything up between us I just… it was hard, being away from you. It was really hard and then you suddenly went into heat and I already wasn’t thinking clearly and just...”
“Hyung. Calm down. Do you hear yourself? ‘I’m not sure if you would want an alpha to fuck you during your heat or not.’ Seriously? I just didn’t want to fuck up everything between us. I know it’s different for you. A lot different. And I don’t want to make things harder for you than it already is. Why… why did you agree to this? Really?” Jonghyun finally asked, curiosity getting the better of him, turning his head and digging his chin into Jinki’s chest so he could look into the elder’s eyes. He knew that this arrangement must be difficult on Jinki and yet he had not only agreed to it, but suggested it in the first place.
“I- don’t freak out or anything if it sounds creepy but even if it’s just for a short time… I get to make you mine. Even if it’s just pretend… I… I need it. It may seem backwards to you but… I know not to read into it. Don’t worry about me,” The whispered words hung heavy in the air, their honesty weighing down on Jonghyun and choking him. “Are you okay? Getting back to normal now?” Jinki murmured; the nervousness was clear in his words.
Jonghyun cleared his throat, trying to fight away the emotions that were getting clogged up in his chest, “Yeah I’m… getting there. And thank you for telling me. I don’t want you to think that you have to hide your feelings from me all the time. I’ll never understand what you are going through, what you are thinking if you don’t tell me so… don’t be scared to tell me.”
“Thank you, for letting me stay, for understanding. It means a lot to me,” Jinki whispered, emotion thick in his voice.
“So tell me how the show went in Japan? How did you get back here so fast?” Jonghyun asked, steering the conversation onto a lighter topic.
“It was okay. I honestly don’t remember much of it. I was kind of distracted,” Jinki said with a laugh.
“Was it that bad? You were only gone for a little bit,” Jonghyun asked, pure curiosity without a hint of judgment.
“Yeah… the bond is… it has a mind of it’s own sometimes.”
“What do you mean?”
“Think of it as a set of rubber bands that tie me to you. When I’m with you, here with you physically and when we are… close emotionally, the bands are loose and it’s easier. When I’m away from you though, the rubber band is pulled taunt.”
“So if we were like… together. If I accepted the bond… it would be easier for you to be far away?”
Jinki coughed nervously, “Well… yes. If we were closer emotionally it would ease the strain of being away from you physically.”
“And when we are closer physically it’s easier to deal with the emotional distance?” Jonghyun asked quietly.
“Yes,” Jinki whispered.
Jonghyun pressed himself closer to Jinki rather than responding. His pleasure high quickly fading into his usual emotional state: laden with guilt. He knew the past few months had been hard on Jinki, everyone knew that, but he was starting to get a glimpse of how deep this whole bonding thing affected Jinki. He had always kind of thought of bonding as deep infatuation and lust. If it was a product of the bond it wasn’t real. Give it time and these fabricated emotions would fade. However, Jinki had always been genuine. He hadn’t become a different person once he was bonded. He hadn’t acted like a sex-crazed alpha with no regard for Jonghyun’s feelings. The only time he had even come close to that was the incident with Taemin. And some reading had told Jonghyun that even then, Jinki had been controlling himself. Even when he lost it, he was still being strong. Still holding it together. Still thinking about everyone else. Still thinking about Jonghyun.
All this time he had just been Jinki… It was like everything he ever knew about alphas, about bonding was all a lie. Even as they lay naked in bed together, Jinki still looked at him as if he was the most beautiful and precious thing he had ever seen. There was no lust, nothing degrading, only genuine care and affection. He wasn’t just an alpha, he was Jinki. It seemed Jonghyun had a lot to learn still but for the first time, he felt like he was ready. Ready see the truth. The truth about Jinki and the truth about himself.
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That didn't take too long now did it? You are all probably pissed there was no smut. Patience little ones...