Natural Instincts 2/13
Author: kpopforlife
Word Count: 2891
Rating: PG-13 (overall NC-17)
Pairing/Focus: Jongyu
Genre: omega!verse
Warnings: Omega!verse, knotting, dom!jinki
Summary: As soon as Jinki stepped off of the elevator he knew something was off. There was a tension, a faint whiff of something different, something foreign that laced the stagnant air with the most delicious aroma he had ever encountered. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but something was amiss. His senses were heightened, body reacting on its own accord, alpha pheromones immediately stirring, but for what he wasn’t quite sure.
lethallycute beta<3
Prev
Jonghyun woke up with a groan that started at the tips of his toes and worked its way through his veins and up his whole body. He ached, but in the best possible way. Every muscle seemed to be sore but he was so satisfyingly sated that he couldn’t find it in himself to care. He hadn’t been fucked that good since, well, ever. He had only ever been with betas for obvious reasons and he now understood all the hype associated with fucking an alpha. It would be like comparing a quick, off-cycle jack off session with an all-day marathon with Sex God of the Year during his heat. The two things weren’t even in the same category.
However, reality was quickly seeping into his brain, washing away the sleep-aided contentment and filling him with worry, with regret.
Jinki.
Jinki had bonded with him.
Jonghyun sighed, rubbing at his eyes in annoyance as he turned onto his side to gaze at his sleeping bandmate. Jinki looked perfect if Jonghyun would be honest with himself. The older boy was practically glowing even in his sleep. His hair was mussed and fanned out across the crumpled white sheets, a few strands falling over his eyes, clinging to his lashes and his breath was coming out in slow, even puffs from his barely parted lips, lips that were still swollen from the night before. There was the faintest hint of a smile on his sleeping face as the arm he had slung around Jonghyun’s narrow waist gripped him just a little bit tighter.
Jonghyun’s frown deepened.
It wasn’t that he didn’t like Jinki, of course he liked him, but in a very different way than Jinki now liked him. Bonding wasn’t something to be taken lightly. Jonghyun knew that. And last night they definitely hadn’t thought about the ramifications of their actions before they started fucking like rabbits. Jonghyun was at a loss, Jinki was now bonded with him, but honestly Jonghyun had just never thought about his lovable hyung like that.
Well, that wasn’t entirely true either.
Jinki was an alpha and when Jonghyun was in his heat he fantasized about being taken by just about anyone, Jinki included. However, that was different. That was just hormones; something uncontrollable, but this right here; this was real.
From now on Jinki would be his and only his, faithful to Jonghyun until death. His affections forcefully tied to Jonghyun through this bond that only Jinki could feel. It was all chemical, without any real emotion. It made Jonghyun sick to his stomach just to think about. He was a romantic at heart and there was absolutely nothing romantic about a forced devotion to your partner.
Thankfully for Jonghyun, betas didn’t bond, only alphas did. So while Jinki was now ‘in love’ and loyal to Jonghyun, the younger didn’t have that instinctual pull to the older. Jonghyun was still free to choose but that only served to make guilt wash over him. Jinki had given up everything in a moment of lust and bad timing. Jinki would never have anyone else. Not just because he was bonded, but also because he was Jinki, forever faithful.
Jonghyun felt pity for the older. He didn’t have those feelings for his hyung, and even if he did, that was a commitment he wasn’t prepared for. He was only in his twenties for god sakes! And it wasn’t like he and Jinki were dating. They had never so much as kissed before last night. This was the equivalent to waking up with a wedding ring and a stranger in your bed. Except much more concrete.
As sleep began to drain from his limbs the panic quickly began to seep in, taking its place. This wasn’t just some horrible, fucked up dream. His group member and friend had bonded with him. What were they going to do? This could ruin everything. Absolutely everything. Management was going to murder them when they found out. That was, if the other members didn’t get to them first.
What was going to happen? What could they do? What options did they even have? He had never heard of a bonded couple that wasn’t together but what did that mean for him? Did that somehow mean he didn’t have a choice in the matter? Even now as he watched Jinki sleeping peacefully next to him, Jonghyun didn’t feel any different. He wasn’t in love with Jinki. He had always envisioned getting bonded when he was older, already settled down with someone he loved and comfortable with. This, this wasn’t how he wanted it at all. He didn’t want to settle down and their jobs didn’t allow for such a personal and private luxury anyway. No, this absolutely could not happen. Worst of all, what was he going to say to Jinki? Jinki was his hyung, his dependable, fragile hyung; the one who made him tea when his throat ached after a taxing vocal lesson. He was a colleague and friend, he was practically family and Jonghyun was going to singlehandedly crush him.
No, Jonghyun definitely wasn’t ready for this. Everything was simply happening too fast. Jonghyun had absolutely no idea what to do and that scared the shit out of him.
He gently pried Jinki’s fingers off of him, sliding off the bed and grabbing some fresh clothes to throw on. Not bother to think about how bad he must smell or how awful his hair must look before he managed to sneak out of the house without waking anyone. He just needed some time. His whole world had shifted in mere hours and all because of one little mistake. One good fuck had quite literally ruined his life. Not just his life though, Jinki’s life too. It would ultimately affect the whole group. It’s not like it was something they could just keep a secret. He felt like he was suffocating under the weight of this newfound stress. He needed time. He needed air. He needed to not be in a room with Jinki.
He just had to figure out what the hell he was going to say, how to apologize, how to make this all okay. No matter what he said, it would break the older boy’s heart, and that made Jonghyun feel like absolute shit.
~~~
Cold.
Hollow.
Jinki’s whole being felt off the moment his mind became conscious.
The blanket was heavy and comfortable but didn’t provide the same serenity and warmth as Jonghyun’s body flush against his own.
The pillow he had clutched to his chest was not nearly as solid or soothing as the younger’s firm muscles and steady thrum of Jonghyun’s heartbeat. He distinctively remembered falling asleep with his bond-mate right where he belonged, in his arms, so it left Jinki feeling perturbed to wake up alone.
Where was Jonghyun? Why did he leave?
Jinki’s head spun with a million possibilities ranging from the optimistic, ‘Jonghyun was busy getting breakfast for them to share,’ to the worst possible conclusions he could imagine, ‘Jonghyun now hated his guts and had decided to quit the group in order to never see him again.’ Neither extreme seemed all that logical but the fact remained that Jonghyun wasn’t there and Jinki’s chest physically hurt because of it.
He could feel the tangible distance between them, he didn’t even have to lift his head off the pillow to know that Jonghyun wasn’t in the apartment; the knowledge was as concrete and ingrained to him as gravity. He decided that he hated this feeling, this sudden desperate need to be near Jonghyun. He felt dependent in a way he had never known before. As if it went against his very nature to be without the younger, comparable to suddenly missing an arm or a leg. Unnatural. Painful.
He pushed all such thoughts away, dragging his worn body out from the comfort of Jonghyun’s bed and set about his day. He thoughtfully stripped the sheets and threw them in the laundry before stumbling to the bathroom to wash away the smell of sex that clung to his skin in hopes that if he cleaned away this continuous reminder of the night before it would help to clear his head. He turned the water on as hot as it would go, giving his aching muscles some time to relax as his head continued to swim with the memories of Jonghyun. The stream was starting to run cold before he began to feel human again, but it seemed nothing could be done about his heart and his brain, bogged down with thoughts of Jonghyun. He supposed that was the new normal though.
~~~
The ensuing conversation was not pleasant. Thankfully the other members could sense the tension, a skill all five of them had learned to hone in on after years of living together, and gave the two as much privacy as they were able.
“You understand don’t you hyung?” Jonghyun asked, worry clear in his tone but his decision was resolute. However, his posture didn’t match the boldness of his words as the younger sat ramrod straight on the couch, nervously picking at the pills of the throw pillow in his lap and actively avoiding Jinki’s eye. To be honest he looked like a mess. His clothes were wrinkled and mismatched and the shirt he picked did absolutely nothing to hide the very visible marks on his neck. Not to mention that his hair was a tussled wreck and he reeked of sex still. Jinki’s brain could only seem to conjure up the word ‘perfection’ but logically he knew that Jonghyun usually looked much more put together than this. He was obviously frazzled and had left in far too much of a hurry to worry about little things like color coordination.
“Of course I understand Jonghyun-ah. It was all an accident but I’m the one who is bonded, not you, so it’s not really anything for you to worry about,” Jinki replied, his voice quivering slightly but his face remained stoic. The painful truth of his own words cut far deeper than he had thought possible. He could feel is heart breaking in his chest, clinching painfully as he forced the words to leave his mouth. He couldn’t say he was surprised by Jonghyun’s reaction but it didn’t stop the disappointment, the hurt, from seeping out of his shattered heart, dispersing through his veins and taking over all other feelings and emotions. His whole body felt stiff and useless, parlayed with pain.
“Hyung be honest. I need to know if you are upset?” Jonghyun asked seriously, seeing through Jinki’s armor like only those closest to him could. Jinki supposed he should be grateful that Jonghyun cared about him on any kind of level but at the moment that knowledge didn’t do anything to take away the hurt he was feeling.
“Upset? No. I kind of expected it,” once again the honestly of his statement cut to his core. It was his deepest fear, to be rejected by the one he loved most but he had anticipated it. Why would someone as flawless as Jonghyun want someone as mundane as himself anyway?
“Oh. So… we are cool right?” Jonghyun questioned, uncertainty still evident in his tone. This clearly wasn’t how he had anticipated this conversation to go.
“Why wouldn’t we be?” Jinki murmured softly, looking down at his lap and willing his eyes to stay dry.
“I just- you know that just because I don’t want to be with you like that, doesn’t mean I don’t care about you,” Jonghyun said honestly, staring up at him with those innocent eyes and it made everything so much harder because Jinki wanted all of him. He didn’t want to be friends, he didn’t want to be coworkers, he wanted his bond-mate and the fact that Jonghyun didn’t want him shredded his heart.
“I know.”
“Are you sure you are ok-”
“I’m fine,” Jinki’s tone held his leader air of finality to it, causing Jonghyun to still. The tension in the room made it clear that everything was not fine but Jonghyun held his tongue as the eldest silently turned his back, shutting his bedroom door with a definite click.
~~~
Jinki swallowed thickly, trying to hide the tears from his voice long enough to answer the knock at his door. He had to at least maintain the façade of being a strong leader regardless of how he truly felt, but then his unknown visitor spoke.
“Hyung it’s me,” Minho’s deep soothing voice called out, eliminating any and all resistance he had originally planned to put up. He unlocked the door, pulling it open far enough for the younger to slip through before snapping it shut again.
“Oh hyung,” Minho whispered sympathetically when he finally saw the older clearly, the tear tracks from his puffy eyes making Jinki’s true emotions no secret.
He was enveloped into a hug and practically dragged to his own bed but he made no complaints, his silent tears quickly escalading into sobs, pressing his face further into Minho’s chest in hopes of stifling the sound. The last thing he wanted was Jonghyun to hear his pain.
Minho held him close, offering comfort as Jinki fell apart, patting his back and muttering smoothing words into his ear until the hysterical crying had ebbed to a more manageable stream down his swollen face.
“Hyung what happened?” Minho finally asked. It was rare to see Jinki lose himself to his emotions. He was usually the strong, stoic leader, always focusing on other peoples’ problems and keeping his own to himself.
“It- It hurts Minho. I can feel him. I know that he is just across the hall and everything inside me is screaming to just- touch him. Hold him, to simply to be near him. And I can’t. He doesn’t want me. Why did I even delude myself into thinking that he might want me?” Jinki attempted to put his emotions into coherent words but they ended up coming out just as jumbled as they were on the inside.
“Hyung don’t say that about yourself,” Minho scolded lovingly, continuing to rub soothing circles into Jinki’s back.
“Why doesn’t he want me?” Jinki whimpered, the hole in his chest only deepening as his mind replayed the events over and over. A depressing loop of memories that he knew would haunt him forever.
“He would be crazy not to,” Minho assured him kindly, clearly not comprehending the situation.
“Minho you don’t understand-“
“Hyung did you finally confess to Jonghyun?” Minho asked knowingly. Being the only alphas in the group it was logical that they were close with one another so Minho was the only one in the group who knew about his long-term crush on the singer. “Give him time, I’m sure he will come ar-“
“Minho you don’t understand! I didn’t confess. It’s worse,” Jinki cut in, desperately needing Minho to make sense of his rambles.
“W-what happened hyung?” Minho questioned, his tone careful as if he were scared to hear the answer.
“I- we- last night…” Jinki trailed off, it hurt too much to even attempt to say. However, the unfathomable sadness in Jinki’s eyes seemed to help convey his message.
“Oh my god. You guys didn’t? Did you?” Minho said softly, disbelief and shock clear in his face.
“I bonded,” Jinki finally whispered, his voice hoarse and thickened with tears.
“Oh hyung,” Minho’s frown deepening with secondhand pain. Even without bonding, simply being an alpha meant Minho understood more than the other members exactly that would mean for Jinki. Just how seriously it was and therefore how much it must be killing Jinki to be rejected.
“It’ll be okay hyung. Give him time. Jonghyun understands what bonding means but he just needs to come to terms with it,” Minho soothed, trying to give comfort to a pain he didn’t fully understand.
“I am irrevocably in love with someone who has to ‘come to terms’ with the idea of being with me?” Jinki attempted to scoff but the endless stream of tears destroyed any bite to his words.
“You know that isn’t what I mean. I know it isn’t ideal but we will figure something out. I promise,” despite his words, Minho’s tone sounded empty and unsure to Jinki’s heartbroken ears.
“There is nothing to figure out. I couldn’t even get a word in before he was apologizing and saying that he didn’t see me like that. That he was too young to be seeing anyone like that. It was too much of a commitment. I am too much of a commitment,” Jinki’s voice was hollow and broken.
“I’ll talk to him, maybe he-“
“No. He made it clear that he doesn’t want me and I will respect that. Or at least try,” Jinki said, cutting the younger off before he could finish his sentence.
“Hyung,” Minho sighed.
“It was my mistake. I have to live with it, not him,” Jinki whispered, his voice cracking but he merely buried his face into the younger boy’s tee shirt to stifle the new onslaught of sobs that wrecked his body.
Minho made no response; simply rubbing the older’s back soothingly as Jinki’s shattered heart continued to bleed, tears running in an endless stream down his face.
Next
Bet you all forgot about this huh? I understand. It's been awhile since I have written anything of substance anyway. But I promise I'm still around and I'm still writing... just, slowly. Hope you all like it and stuff... sorry it got really angsty.
Word Count: 2891
Rating: PG-13 (overall NC-17)
Pairing/Focus: Jongyu
Genre: omega!verse
Warnings: Omega!verse, knotting, dom!jinki
Summary: As soon as Jinki stepped off of the elevator he knew something was off. There was a tension, a faint whiff of something different, something foreign that laced the stagnant air with the most delicious aroma he had ever encountered. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but something was amiss. His senses were heightened, body reacting on its own accord, alpha pheromones immediately stirring, but for what he wasn’t quite sure.
lethallycute beta<3
Prev
Jonghyun woke up with a groan that started at the tips of his toes and worked its way through his veins and up his whole body. He ached, but in the best possible way. Every muscle seemed to be sore but he was so satisfyingly sated that he couldn’t find it in himself to care. He hadn’t been fucked that good since, well, ever. He had only ever been with betas for obvious reasons and he now understood all the hype associated with fucking an alpha. It would be like comparing a quick, off-cycle jack off session with an all-day marathon with Sex God of the Year during his heat. The two things weren’t even in the same category.
However, reality was quickly seeping into his brain, washing away the sleep-aided contentment and filling him with worry, with regret.
Jinki.
Jinki had bonded with him.
Jonghyun sighed, rubbing at his eyes in annoyance as he turned onto his side to gaze at his sleeping bandmate. Jinki looked perfect if Jonghyun would be honest with himself. The older boy was practically glowing even in his sleep. His hair was mussed and fanned out across the crumpled white sheets, a few strands falling over his eyes, clinging to his lashes and his breath was coming out in slow, even puffs from his barely parted lips, lips that were still swollen from the night before. There was the faintest hint of a smile on his sleeping face as the arm he had slung around Jonghyun’s narrow waist gripped him just a little bit tighter.
Jonghyun’s frown deepened.
It wasn’t that he didn’t like Jinki, of course he liked him, but in a very different way than Jinki now liked him. Bonding wasn’t something to be taken lightly. Jonghyun knew that. And last night they definitely hadn’t thought about the ramifications of their actions before they started fucking like rabbits. Jonghyun was at a loss, Jinki was now bonded with him, but honestly Jonghyun had just never thought about his lovable hyung like that.
Well, that wasn’t entirely true either.
Jinki was an alpha and when Jonghyun was in his heat he fantasized about being taken by just about anyone, Jinki included. However, that was different. That was just hormones; something uncontrollable, but this right here; this was real.
From now on Jinki would be his and only his, faithful to Jonghyun until death. His affections forcefully tied to Jonghyun through this bond that only Jinki could feel. It was all chemical, without any real emotion. It made Jonghyun sick to his stomach just to think about. He was a romantic at heart and there was absolutely nothing romantic about a forced devotion to your partner.
Thankfully for Jonghyun, betas didn’t bond, only alphas did. So while Jinki was now ‘in love’ and loyal to Jonghyun, the younger didn’t have that instinctual pull to the older. Jonghyun was still free to choose but that only served to make guilt wash over him. Jinki had given up everything in a moment of lust and bad timing. Jinki would never have anyone else. Not just because he was bonded, but also because he was Jinki, forever faithful.
Jonghyun felt pity for the older. He didn’t have those feelings for his hyung, and even if he did, that was a commitment he wasn’t prepared for. He was only in his twenties for god sakes! And it wasn’t like he and Jinki were dating. They had never so much as kissed before last night. This was the equivalent to waking up with a wedding ring and a stranger in your bed. Except much more concrete.
As sleep began to drain from his limbs the panic quickly began to seep in, taking its place. This wasn’t just some horrible, fucked up dream. His group member and friend had bonded with him. What were they going to do? This could ruin everything. Absolutely everything. Management was going to murder them when they found out. That was, if the other members didn’t get to them first.
What was going to happen? What could they do? What options did they even have? He had never heard of a bonded couple that wasn’t together but what did that mean for him? Did that somehow mean he didn’t have a choice in the matter? Even now as he watched Jinki sleeping peacefully next to him, Jonghyun didn’t feel any different. He wasn’t in love with Jinki. He had always envisioned getting bonded when he was older, already settled down with someone he loved and comfortable with. This, this wasn’t how he wanted it at all. He didn’t want to settle down and their jobs didn’t allow for such a personal and private luxury anyway. No, this absolutely could not happen. Worst of all, what was he going to say to Jinki? Jinki was his hyung, his dependable, fragile hyung; the one who made him tea when his throat ached after a taxing vocal lesson. He was a colleague and friend, he was practically family and Jonghyun was going to singlehandedly crush him.
No, Jonghyun definitely wasn’t ready for this. Everything was simply happening too fast. Jonghyun had absolutely no idea what to do and that scared the shit out of him.
He gently pried Jinki’s fingers off of him, sliding off the bed and grabbing some fresh clothes to throw on. Not bother to think about how bad he must smell or how awful his hair must look before he managed to sneak out of the house without waking anyone. He just needed some time. His whole world had shifted in mere hours and all because of one little mistake. One good fuck had quite literally ruined his life. Not just his life though, Jinki’s life too. It would ultimately affect the whole group. It’s not like it was something they could just keep a secret. He felt like he was suffocating under the weight of this newfound stress. He needed time. He needed air. He needed to not be in a room with Jinki.
He just had to figure out what the hell he was going to say, how to apologize, how to make this all okay. No matter what he said, it would break the older boy’s heart, and that made Jonghyun feel like absolute shit.
~~~
Cold.
Hollow.
Jinki’s whole being felt off the moment his mind became conscious.
The blanket was heavy and comfortable but didn’t provide the same serenity and warmth as Jonghyun’s body flush against his own.
The pillow he had clutched to his chest was not nearly as solid or soothing as the younger’s firm muscles and steady thrum of Jonghyun’s heartbeat. He distinctively remembered falling asleep with his bond-mate right where he belonged, in his arms, so it left Jinki feeling perturbed to wake up alone.
Where was Jonghyun? Why did he leave?
Jinki’s head spun with a million possibilities ranging from the optimistic, ‘Jonghyun was busy getting breakfast for them to share,’ to the worst possible conclusions he could imagine, ‘Jonghyun now hated his guts and had decided to quit the group in order to never see him again.’ Neither extreme seemed all that logical but the fact remained that Jonghyun wasn’t there and Jinki’s chest physically hurt because of it.
He could feel the tangible distance between them, he didn’t even have to lift his head off the pillow to know that Jonghyun wasn’t in the apartment; the knowledge was as concrete and ingrained to him as gravity. He decided that he hated this feeling, this sudden desperate need to be near Jonghyun. He felt dependent in a way he had never known before. As if it went against his very nature to be without the younger, comparable to suddenly missing an arm or a leg. Unnatural. Painful.
He pushed all such thoughts away, dragging his worn body out from the comfort of Jonghyun’s bed and set about his day. He thoughtfully stripped the sheets and threw them in the laundry before stumbling to the bathroom to wash away the smell of sex that clung to his skin in hopes that if he cleaned away this continuous reminder of the night before it would help to clear his head. He turned the water on as hot as it would go, giving his aching muscles some time to relax as his head continued to swim with the memories of Jonghyun. The stream was starting to run cold before he began to feel human again, but it seemed nothing could be done about his heart and his brain, bogged down with thoughts of Jonghyun. He supposed that was the new normal though.
~~~
The ensuing conversation was not pleasant. Thankfully the other members could sense the tension, a skill all five of them had learned to hone in on after years of living together, and gave the two as much privacy as they were able.
“You understand don’t you hyung?” Jonghyun asked, worry clear in his tone but his decision was resolute. However, his posture didn’t match the boldness of his words as the younger sat ramrod straight on the couch, nervously picking at the pills of the throw pillow in his lap and actively avoiding Jinki’s eye. To be honest he looked like a mess. His clothes were wrinkled and mismatched and the shirt he picked did absolutely nothing to hide the very visible marks on his neck. Not to mention that his hair was a tussled wreck and he reeked of sex still. Jinki’s brain could only seem to conjure up the word ‘perfection’ but logically he knew that Jonghyun usually looked much more put together than this. He was obviously frazzled and had left in far too much of a hurry to worry about little things like color coordination.
“Of course I understand Jonghyun-ah. It was all an accident but I’m the one who is bonded, not you, so it’s not really anything for you to worry about,” Jinki replied, his voice quivering slightly but his face remained stoic. The painful truth of his own words cut far deeper than he had thought possible. He could feel is heart breaking in his chest, clinching painfully as he forced the words to leave his mouth. He couldn’t say he was surprised by Jonghyun’s reaction but it didn’t stop the disappointment, the hurt, from seeping out of his shattered heart, dispersing through his veins and taking over all other feelings and emotions. His whole body felt stiff and useless, parlayed with pain.
“Hyung be honest. I need to know if you are upset?” Jonghyun asked seriously, seeing through Jinki’s armor like only those closest to him could. Jinki supposed he should be grateful that Jonghyun cared about him on any kind of level but at the moment that knowledge didn’t do anything to take away the hurt he was feeling.
“Upset? No. I kind of expected it,” once again the honestly of his statement cut to his core. It was his deepest fear, to be rejected by the one he loved most but he had anticipated it. Why would someone as flawless as Jonghyun want someone as mundane as himself anyway?
“Oh. So… we are cool right?” Jonghyun questioned, uncertainty still evident in his tone. This clearly wasn’t how he had anticipated this conversation to go.
“Why wouldn’t we be?” Jinki murmured softly, looking down at his lap and willing his eyes to stay dry.
“I just- you know that just because I don’t want to be with you like that, doesn’t mean I don’t care about you,” Jonghyun said honestly, staring up at him with those innocent eyes and it made everything so much harder because Jinki wanted all of him. He didn’t want to be friends, he didn’t want to be coworkers, he wanted his bond-mate and the fact that Jonghyun didn’t want him shredded his heart.
“I know.”
“Are you sure you are ok-”
“I’m fine,” Jinki’s tone held his leader air of finality to it, causing Jonghyun to still. The tension in the room made it clear that everything was not fine but Jonghyun held his tongue as the eldest silently turned his back, shutting his bedroom door with a definite click.
~~~
Jinki swallowed thickly, trying to hide the tears from his voice long enough to answer the knock at his door. He had to at least maintain the façade of being a strong leader regardless of how he truly felt, but then his unknown visitor spoke.
“Hyung it’s me,” Minho’s deep soothing voice called out, eliminating any and all resistance he had originally planned to put up. He unlocked the door, pulling it open far enough for the younger to slip through before snapping it shut again.
“Oh hyung,” Minho whispered sympathetically when he finally saw the older clearly, the tear tracks from his puffy eyes making Jinki’s true emotions no secret.
He was enveloped into a hug and practically dragged to his own bed but he made no complaints, his silent tears quickly escalading into sobs, pressing his face further into Minho’s chest in hopes of stifling the sound. The last thing he wanted was Jonghyun to hear his pain.
Minho held him close, offering comfort as Jinki fell apart, patting his back and muttering smoothing words into his ear until the hysterical crying had ebbed to a more manageable stream down his swollen face.
“Hyung what happened?” Minho finally asked. It was rare to see Jinki lose himself to his emotions. He was usually the strong, stoic leader, always focusing on other peoples’ problems and keeping his own to himself.
“It- It hurts Minho. I can feel him. I know that he is just across the hall and everything inside me is screaming to just- touch him. Hold him, to simply to be near him. And I can’t. He doesn’t want me. Why did I even delude myself into thinking that he might want me?” Jinki attempted to put his emotions into coherent words but they ended up coming out just as jumbled as they were on the inside.
“Hyung don’t say that about yourself,” Minho scolded lovingly, continuing to rub soothing circles into Jinki’s back.
“Why doesn’t he want me?” Jinki whimpered, the hole in his chest only deepening as his mind replayed the events over and over. A depressing loop of memories that he knew would haunt him forever.
“He would be crazy not to,” Minho assured him kindly, clearly not comprehending the situation.
“Minho you don’t understand-“
“Hyung did you finally confess to Jonghyun?” Minho asked knowingly. Being the only alphas in the group it was logical that they were close with one another so Minho was the only one in the group who knew about his long-term crush on the singer. “Give him time, I’m sure he will come ar-“
“Minho you don’t understand! I didn’t confess. It’s worse,” Jinki cut in, desperately needing Minho to make sense of his rambles.
“W-what happened hyung?” Minho questioned, his tone careful as if he were scared to hear the answer.
“I- we- last night…” Jinki trailed off, it hurt too much to even attempt to say. However, the unfathomable sadness in Jinki’s eyes seemed to help convey his message.
“Oh my god. You guys didn’t? Did you?” Minho said softly, disbelief and shock clear in his face.
“I bonded,” Jinki finally whispered, his voice hoarse and thickened with tears.
“Oh hyung,” Minho’s frown deepening with secondhand pain. Even without bonding, simply being an alpha meant Minho understood more than the other members exactly that would mean for Jinki. Just how seriously it was and therefore how much it must be killing Jinki to be rejected.
“It’ll be okay hyung. Give him time. Jonghyun understands what bonding means but he just needs to come to terms with it,” Minho soothed, trying to give comfort to a pain he didn’t fully understand.
“I am irrevocably in love with someone who has to ‘come to terms’ with the idea of being with me?” Jinki attempted to scoff but the endless stream of tears destroyed any bite to his words.
“You know that isn’t what I mean. I know it isn’t ideal but we will figure something out. I promise,” despite his words, Minho’s tone sounded empty and unsure to Jinki’s heartbroken ears.
“There is nothing to figure out. I couldn’t even get a word in before he was apologizing and saying that he didn’t see me like that. That he was too young to be seeing anyone like that. It was too much of a commitment. I am too much of a commitment,” Jinki’s voice was hollow and broken.
“I’ll talk to him, maybe he-“
“No. He made it clear that he doesn’t want me and I will respect that. Or at least try,” Jinki said, cutting the younger off before he could finish his sentence.
“Hyung,” Minho sighed.
“It was my mistake. I have to live with it, not him,” Jinki whispered, his voice cracking but he merely buried his face into the younger boy’s tee shirt to stifle the new onslaught of sobs that wrecked his body.
Minho made no response; simply rubbing the older’s back soothingly as Jinki’s shattered heart continued to bleed, tears running in an endless stream down his face.
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Bet you all forgot about this huh? I understand. It's been awhile since I have written anything of substance anyway. But I promise I'm still around and I'm still writing... just, slowly. Hope you all like it and stuff... sorry it got really angsty.