Round 15: Atomic Skies
Title: Atomic Skies
Team: Future
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Super Junior
Pairing: Kibum/Donghae, Hangeng/Heechul
Summary: Donghae wakes up one day to find Kibum gone â in the next room, Heechul wakes up to find Hangeng gone.
Prompt Used: JYJ - In Heaven
Donghae rubs at his eyes and cracks the joint of his left knee before he straightens and fumbles for the curtains. A rough tug and sunlight spills into the tattered motel room, shedding colours onto clothes that have been strewn messily over the small space. Donghae grimaces at the mess and rolls around onto his other side, back to the window, in a small ditch attempt to ignore the clutter by his feet. He rolls, expecting to hit a solid wall of warm flesh, but instead encountering none and ending up flat on the moldy, carpeted floor instead.
"Kibum?"
Not a single voice answers. Donghae pushes himself off the bed and shoves cold toes into slippers before shuffling over to the bathroom. A brief glance inside tells Donghae that Kibum is nowhere to be found. Frowning, he looks over his shoulder, out the doorway and at the bedside table. Kibum's glasses are gone. Donghae flicks his gaze to the closet. Kibum's suitcase and shoes are gone, too.
Donghae's pulse speeds up just another beat per minute.
He checks the toothbrush holder â there's only one toothbrush resting inside. The shower â there in the corner sits his solitary bottle of shampoo. Cologne is gone, aftershave is gone, razor is gone. Donghae's about to bolt from the bathroom when his eyes land on the hook behind the bathroom door. There's only one towel.
They had both used the motel's towels last night. Donghae pauses, a hand on the brass doorknob. Kibum was never a fan of motel towels â unsanitary, he says. So why would he have taken it?
Donghae's pulse kickstarts into a steady thrum.
He doesn't bother checking the closet. If Kibum's suitcase isn't there, there's nowhere else to look for it. Instead, Donghae checks the bed. There's one pillow slept on, and there's no dent in the bedcovers on the other half of the bed. Donghae's positive Kibum had been lying on that half just eight hours ago â he had only fallen asleep after Kibum had long drifted off.
The pad of Donghae's thumb brushes the skin of his ring finger. Donghae's about to turn when he stops in his tracks. His fingers go cold and he lifts his hand up to eye level. The ring he's had on since senior year in high school is gone. The ring given to him by a tipsy Kibum, a tipsy Kibum who had stumbled into his personal space sometime during prom and announced for everyone around to hear that he had a little crush on Donghae. Donghae woke up the next morning wrapped around Kibum and the ring on his finger.
Whenever Donghae took it off â not that he did often â it leaves a white band of skin around his finger in its wake. But this time, there's no discolouration. The pigmentation of the skin on his ring finger is consistent, smooth, almost perfect. No white band of skin.
Donghae can't breathe properly, can't think properly, can't stand properly. The last thing he remembers seeing before he blacks out is the obnoxious luggage tag on his suitcase. It should have both their names scribbled across the front in black sharpie, but there's only one name present.
His own.
Donghae opens the door to the motel's check in area, leaving his suitcase by the door. He's one step into the cabin when someone else barges in behind him, tossing his own suitcase alongside Donghae's. Donghae watches, caught a little off guard, as the other person dashes up to the counter.
"Have you seen my boyfriend? Tall, Chinese, dark hair?"
"I'm sorry?" The manager doesn't quite know what to think.
"My boyfriend. I woke up this morning and he wasn't in bed. His things are gone and I can't reach him by phone. You have copies of our passports, could you check and see if you remember him coming by?"
"I can check, but sir, you didn't check in with anyone."
Donghae chooses this moment to interrupt. "Did your boyfriend go missing?"
"Yeah," the stranger answers, giving Donghae a wary look. "Why are you asking?"
"Mine did, too."
The manager looks up from where he's shuffling through a box of papers.
"You checked in alone too, sir."
Donghae laughs out of pure incredulity. "I sure as hell did not check in alone," Donghae says, "I hate traveling alone!"
The manager blinks and sets the box aside. He gestures for them to wait before he ducks into a back room. Donghae waits until the manager disappears around a doorframe before turning back to the stranger.
"I'm Donghae," Donghae says, extending his hand. "I'd rather not meet someone under these circumstances, but..."
"I'm Heechul," says Heechul, accepting Donghae's hand. "So... Your boyfriend's missing as well?"
Donghae nods.
"Isn't that a scary as fuck coincidence?"
Donghae blinks at the language, but finds himself agreeing nonetheless. "It's not something you see everyday, that's for sure."
The manager returns at that moment, hands supporting the weight of a small television screen. He sets it down onto the counter with a huff before turning it so that the screen faces the two men.
"This is the monitor for our security cameras. The both of you checked in last night, Mr. Kim a little later than Mr. Lee." The manager gestures vaguely to Heechul before swinging his hand towards Donghae's direction. "Watch."
The manager hits a button somewhere and the screen flickers to life. A few seconds into the recording, Donghae sees himself pushing the door to the cabin open â he waits expectantly for Kibum to show up right behind him, but no one appears. Donghae feels his throat shrivel and dry up. The manager glances at Donghae before hitting another button. The tape fast-forwards. The manager slaps the stop button.
Heechul's on the screen now, and there's no one around him, nothing apart from his bright pink suitcase. Heechul's eyes widen impossibly as he looks from the screen, up to the manager, and then to his left at Donghae's equally stunned face.
"This is ridiculous," Heechul mutters, "what sick joke do you think you're playing on us?"
"This is not a joke sir," the manager says, and Donghae can tell from the look in the man's eyes that he's not lying.
"You're lying," Heechul snaps. Turning on his heel, he bends to pick up his suitcase before storming out of the office. The manager watches quietly as Donghae looks over his shoulder at Heechul's retreating back. Then Donghae follows suit, falling into step alongside Heechul, their suitcases clattering noisily behind them on the asphalt.
"What do we do now?" Donghae asks, as they stand on the curb with their suitcases by their sides. Cars pass by in flashes, the drivers not giving them a second glance.
"We try and find them," Heechul answers. He turns to look at Donghae with a steely gaze. "Now, where would they go first?"
"Home," Donghae says. "Kibum would go home."
"Then let's go home."
They head towards Donghae's apartment first â it's closer. Donghae unlocks the door with shaky fingers, pushing it open with his toes and rolling his suitcase in. He sets it by the dining table, and as he straightens up, he knows something's not quite right.
"This is not my apartment," Donghae says slowly. Heechul looks at him odd.
"What are you saying?"
"My apartment doesn't look like this. I mean, it looks like this, but it doesn't."
Heechul shuts the door. "What?"
"There should be more photo frames on the wall, a pyramid of baseballs on the coffee table. An extra pair of bedroom slippers, a copy of Orwell's 1984 on the couch..."
Donghae trips over the carpet as he rushes into the kitchen. "One of our couple mugs are missing."
Heechul looks on as Donghae bolts for the bedroom. The closet's flung open and clothes are tossed out onto the carpet, the settee, the bed.
"None of his clothes are here, even the ones he never wears."
"Bathroom?"
Donghae looks inside, almost reluctantly. "Nothing of his."
Heechul wets his lips.
"Come on, let's leave."
Donghae shuts the door behind him without taking a last glance.
The trip to Heechul's apartment takes a few hours, and by the time Heechul's determined that Hangeng's belongings are nowhere to be found, they crash. Donghae falls asleep the moment his cheek hits the couch pillow, and Heechul passes out sprawled out across the too-big bed.
Donghae wakes up to the television blaring, Heechul crouched in front of the screen, eyes bugged. Donghae squints against the radiating light, pupils constricted.
"Heechul?"
"The manager of the motel's dead," Heechul says, monotone.
"What?"
"He's dead. Apparently, he committed suicide."
"When?"
"Time of death is approximately a couple hours after we left."
Donghae sits up slowly. "What does that mean?"
Heechul shrugs, back still towards Donghae. "Means nothing. Just a coincidence. Go back to sleep, we've got a long day ahead of us tomorrow."
With that, Heechul switches off the television and disappears back into his room. The door closes with a soft click.
Heechul opens the door to the café a little harder than necessary, and Donghae winces when the glass rattles in its frame. Heechul ignores the noise and walks up to the counter.
"Well," the barista says, setting her washrag down, "if it isn't Kim Heechul!"
"Hi Taeyeon," Heechul says, setting his elbows down onto the surface of the counter. "I have a question."
Taeyeon's eyebrows furrow at his serious tone, and she shifts her weight onto one leg. "What's up?"
"Has Hangeng come by lately?"
Taeyeon tilts her head and her mouth falls open a little. "...Hangeng?"
"Yeah," Heechul says, impatient. "Hangeng; my boyfriend?"
"You have a boyfriend?"
"What â Are you playing with me? Did he tell you to play with me? This isn't funny."
"I'm not playing with you!" Taeyeon exclaims. "I didn't know you had a boyfriend! You sure as hell never brought him here to meet me!"
Donghae chooses this moment to interrupt. "Heechul, I don't think she's lying."
"How the fuck would you know," Heechul spits, before rounding on Taeyeon once more. "Has he been around?"
"No," Taeyeon says forcefully, "because I don't know who the hell you're talking about."
Donghae grabs Heechul's arm and half-heaves, half-pulls him out of the café.
"Get a grip," Donghae mutters, freeing Heechul and shoving his hands into his pockets before starting off down the street. "We don't need two crazy people."
Donghae doesn't stop by the café that he and Kibum frequent, just because he knows that a visit would yield absolutely nothing. They return to Heechul's apartment, where Donghae curls up on the couch and pretends to fall asleep. He hears Heechul clunk around, presumably overturning drawers and rummaging through closets. Donghae sighs and buries his head deeper into the seam of the couch and lets darkness set in on his eyes.
Heechul jolts awake with cold sweat running down his neck. He dashes for the television, nearly running into a wall in the process, and fumbles around for the remote before finally being able to switch it on. Donghae wakes up when the light hits his face.
"What? What's going on?"
"I don't know," Heechul mutters, flicking through channels. "I have a bad feeling."
He lands on new late night news channel and he waits, awkwardly crouched, weight resting on the balls of his feet. The story changes and Heechul's met with a large picture of Taeyeon's face, with the caption Found Dead in Café's Kitchen flashing in his eyes.
"Oh my god," Donghae says, stunned. "Isn't that â"
"Taeyeon," Heechul finishes. His skin's paler than usual, washed out by the television's glow. Donghae sees flashes of fear in his eyes. "This isn't a coincidence anymore."
"What're we going to do? We can't find them if we can't talk to anyone."
Donghae watches a vein in Heechul's forehead tick and as his jaw clenches repeatedly. Then Heechul stands and looks over at Donghae. "I'm finding him, Donghae, no matter what."
Heechul shrugs Donghae's desperate hand off his arm and walks into the store. It's a music store Donghae and Kibum visit almost every weekend, kind of like their weekly treat â buying a new disc to add to a pre-existing collection or to try out a completely new band. Donghae runs a hand through his hair and follows.
"Hi Donghae!" Taemin chirps, "Haven't seen you around for a while!"
"Yeah," Donghae mumbles, "went away on a holiday for a bit."
"That sounds fun," Taemin says, straightening a stack of CDs on the counter before handing them over to a colleague. "Did you go by yourself?"
"No," Heechul interrupts, "he went with his boyfriend."
"You have a boyfriend?" Taemin asks, curious. "You never told me."
"I didn't?" Donghae says, deflating. "Oh."
"His name is Kibum," Heechul presses on. "Are you sure you've never heard of him?"
Taemin looks at Heechul oddly. "No, I've never heard of him. Who are you?"
"He's a friend," Donghae says hastily. "And I'm sorry, I thought I've mentioned him to you. Heechul, let's go."
Heechul stares at Taemin for a long moment before Donghae's tugging finally gets him to move. Donghae doesn't let go of Heechul until they turn the corner before he rounds on him.
"If Taemin dies tonight, I'm holding you responsible."
With that, Donghae stalks away, leaving an exasperated Heechul behind.
The rattling of the subway is soothing, and Donghae finds himself a little too relaxed, sitting bonelessly on the seat with Heechul's weight by his side the only thing keeping him from sliding off the plastic chair and onto the ground. He keeps his gaze trained on the buildings and trees flashing by the windows, pace steady and colours blurred.
The next thing he knows, Kibum's standing right in front of him, looking exactly the same as on the day he left. Donghae blinks, feels his tongue dry up, and he tightens his grip on the metal pole next to his seat.
"Kibum?" He whispers, scared that if he were to say his name any louder, Kibum would just disappear.
"Donghae," comes the answer, crisp and clear. His name coming out of Kibum's mouth has Donghae's breath hitching.
"Is this really you?"
"Of course," Kibum says, eyes laughing. Donghae had missed that. "Why would I be me?"
"But â"
Kibum reaches out a hand towards Donghae's cheek, but just before skin touches skin, the subway jerks and Kibum vanishes.
"Kibum?" Donghae says, heart pumping fear up into his mouth. Kibum's nowhere to be seen.
"Kibum!" Donghae screams, and he feels a sharp slap spreading across his face.
He opens his eyes to see Heechul standing over him and a whole group of strangers staring at him, unnerved.
"Heechul?"
"You went into a trance man," Heechul mutters, "started talking to yourself. You reached out to a random person over there. I didn't want to slap you, but you started screaming so loudly I thought it was the only way."
The train slows to a stop at a station and Donghae rises. The other passengers seem to part automatically, shying away from Donghae as he passes them. Heechul follows.
"What the hell happened?" Heechul demands, pulling Donghae down onto a marbled bench.
"I don't know," Donghae sighs, "I was looking out the window and the next thing I knew Kibum was standing right in front of me. He looked so real. We had a conversation. Then the train jerked and he disappeared."
Heechul's expression is unreadable.
They pass by an electronics store with multiple flat screen televisions in the display, all turned to the same news channel. Taemin's face is on every single screen. Suicide.
Donghae bites his lip so hard it draws blood. The metallic taste doesn't leave his mouth for a long time.
The moon's high in the sky before they decide to return home. They've walked the streets for hours, aimlessly heading in every direction, turning one way when the other way's blocked, scaling low walls and climbing fences.
Their trip yielded no results, of course, but what else can they do?
Steam fogs up the mirror and all Donghae can make out as he stares at his reflection is a fuzzy silhouette. Wrapping the towel tighter around his middle, he reaches out and rubs at the glass with his palm. He nearly punches the mirror out of fright when he sees Kibum standing right behind him.
Water droplets roll down the surface of the mirror as Donghae turns around.
"This is some sick joke," Donghae mutters, extending shaky fingers. Kibum promptly encloses them with his own. Donghae jumps.
"Why do you look like you've just seen a ghost?" Kibum asks, and Donghae can tell he's genuinely confused.
"Why? You disappeared during our holiday together, and when I tried finding you it was as if you never existed! People I asked about you would die, and then you appear right in front of me on the train, like you just did a minute ago, and I find out that it was a hallucination â"
"Shhhh," Kibum says softly, "that's all a dream."
"It's not a dream," Donghae says, incredulous. "I'm in Heechul's bathroom! If it were all a dream I wouldn't even have met him â"
"Are you sure you're in Heechul's bathroom?"
"Yes, I am, what â" Donghae stops talking as he takes a look around.
He's not in Heechul's bathroom; he's in the bathroom of the motel room he had left a few days ago. The motel room where he and Kibum had stayed in.
Kibum's lips seem to curve upwards just the slightest. Then Kibum leans in and touches soft lips onto Donghae's â the sensation is so familiar, so real, that Donghae believes it has all been a dream.
But everything turns black.
"Donghae!"
It sounds like Heechul's voice.
"Donghae! Wake up!"
It's definitely Heechul's voice.
"Mr. Lee?"
That is not Heechul's voice. Donghae opens his eyes.
His gaze lands on a kindly old man's face, the wrinkles around his eyes way too pronounced for Donghae's comfort.
"Ah," the man says, "you're awake."
"Who are you?"
"Mr. Lee," the man says, settling into a plastic chair. "I am Dr. Park."
"Doctor?" Donghae repeats. He looks down at himself. He's in a hospital gown. There are leather straps on each of his wrists â he's strapped down onto a hospital bed. "Where am I? Why am I tied down? What is this?"
"Mr. Lee," Dr. Park continues, "you've relapsed."
Donghae laughs, dry. "What the fuck do you mean 'relapsed'?"
"Why don't you tell me what happened over the last week?"
"Why should I?"
Dr. Park shifts in his seat. "Amuse me."
Donghae sucks his cheeks and exhales. "Alright. A few days ago I went on a holiday with my boyfriend, Kibum. One morning I woke up and he was gone. So I headed out to the motel's office to see if the manager had seen him, and that was where I ran into a man called â"
"Heechul?"
Donghae pauses. "How did you know?"
Dr. Park turns around in his seat and beckons to some one outside the room. A nurse walks in with a tape recorder in her hands. Dr. Park takes it from her with a smile and waits until she's left before turning back to Donghae. Wordlessly, he presses the Play button.
"â Heechul. It turns out his boyfriend, Hangeng, had disappeared, too. So we sort of joined forces in order to find them both. But people who we ask about their presence turn up dead the very same night â"
"Stop it," Donghae forces out through gritted teeth. "What the fuck is that? Where did you get that from?"
"That's you, your voice. I'm sure you recognise it? This was recorded a month ago."
"Lies," Donghae whispers, "all lies. You're lying to me."
"How can I lie about something like this, Mr. Lee?"
Donghae shakes his head vehemently and attempts to mold into the hospital bed.
Dr. Park sighs and turns around again. "Bring them in."
Donghae looks over at the doorway. He sees shadows, and the shadows turn into people. With each person that enters the room, Donghae's eyes widen just a little more.
"Recognise them?"
"Yes," Donghae says slowly. "That's Heechul. Taeyeon. Taemin... But who's that? And how did you bring them back to life?"
"That's Hangeng," Dr. Park says, "and I didn't bring them back to life, because they were never dead."
Donghae bursts out in hysterical laughter.
"Donghae," Heechul says, slowly. "Donghae, you gotta snap out of it."
"The fuck are you talking about," Donghae says. "And how did you find Hangeng?"
Hangeng steps forward hesitantly. "I was never 'gone', Donghae."
"Mr. Lee â"
"Stop calling me that," Donghae snaps.
"Alright," Dr. Park agrees easily. "Donghae. We have answers for you, but you have to be prepared to hear them."
"Just tell me."
Donghae blinks at the number of people surrounding him. Who are they?
"Before I begin," Dr. Park says, "I just wanted you to see them."
"Who are they."
Heechul sighs and buries his face in his hands.
"Do you know them?" Donghae asks, nudging him.
"I do, Donghae. And so do you. We've spent decades together."
"Now now," Dr. Park says, "we don't want to get ahead of ourselves. Donghae, try and see if you can remember."
"Remember what?!" Donghae cries, "I don't know these people!"
Dr. Park pulls out a thick manila folder. "Your name is Lee Donghae, am I right?"
"Yes."
"Born on the 15th of October, 1986 in Mokpo?"
"Yes and yes."
"Member of Korean idol group Super Junior?"
"What?"
"Think back to the year 2005," Dr. Park says, "what do you remember?"
"How can I remember events from all those years ago? It's been decades!"
Dr. Park opens his mouth, but a man from the group of people on the other side of the room â that Donghae has absolutely no recollection of â springs forward.
"Kibum died in a car accident two years ago Donghae. You took his death way too hard â ever since then you've had episodes, delusional episodes, and you've been admitted to countless psychological institutes. You'd make up this big scenario on how you and Kibum went on a holiday and he disappears one day and you meet Heechul and the two of you embark on this hunt â you made this whole thing up Donghae, to cope. You've started getting better a few months ago, but you recently relapsed. Can't you remember any of these, Donghae? Can't you remember us? Remember that Kibum's dead and not coming back?"
"Jungsu!"
Donghae tries to wet his lips but his tongue's dry, too.
"We need to get you started on your medication," Dr. Park says, "as soon as possible would be great."
Donghae rubs at his eyes â there are hundreds and thousands of images floating around in his head, all of them apparently memories of events that he doesn't remember. Everyone in the room with him are in his head, and there's just too much to handle. He groans and presses the heels of his palms into his eye sockets, so hard that phosphenes explode in the millions.
"It's okay," Heechul says, "you'll start to remember. Trust me. We're all here for you."
Nurses wheel Donghae back to his room where he's helped into his bed and strapped in once more.
Taeyeon gives him a kiss on the cheek before she leaves. "We'll visit you tomorrow."
Taemin waves.
A nurse walks in with a tray. Colourful pills in paper cups sit on the metal surface, pills of light green and pink, some white and some yellow. Donghae thinks he could make a pretty collage with them.
Two months pass, and Donghae remembers almost every significant event that's lacking from his memory. He remembers Kibum's accident, Hangeng's departure, his father's death. His enlistment, his discharge, Donghee's marriage.
In just a week's time, he's due to be discharged from the hospital.
Stepping into the bathroom, Donghae sets his towel down on the sick before turning the shower on. He brushes his teeth, hums to A-CHA, and rinses out his mouth. The steam unfurls around him as he scrubs at his scalp and body, soap suds rolling off his skin and down the drain.
Making sure to step onto the mat â he slips really easily â Donghae reaches out for his towel and wraps it tight around his waist. Whistling, he rubs at the mirror with his hand.
Kibum's smiling at him through the mirror.
Poll Round 15: Atomic Skies
Team: Future
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Super Junior
Pairing: Kibum/Donghae, Hangeng/Heechul
Summary: Donghae wakes up one day to find Kibum gone â in the next room, Heechul wakes up to find Hangeng gone.
Prompt Used: JYJ - In Heaven
Donghae rubs at his eyes and cracks the joint of his left knee before he straightens and fumbles for the curtains. A rough tug and sunlight spills into the tattered motel room, shedding colours onto clothes that have been strewn messily over the small space. Donghae grimaces at the mess and rolls around onto his other side, back to the window, in a small ditch attempt to ignore the clutter by his feet. He rolls, expecting to hit a solid wall of warm flesh, but instead encountering none and ending up flat on the moldy, carpeted floor instead.
"Kibum?"
Not a single voice answers. Donghae pushes himself off the bed and shoves cold toes into slippers before shuffling over to the bathroom. A brief glance inside tells Donghae that Kibum is nowhere to be found. Frowning, he looks over his shoulder, out the doorway and at the bedside table. Kibum's glasses are gone. Donghae flicks his gaze to the closet. Kibum's suitcase and shoes are gone, too.
Donghae's pulse speeds up just another beat per minute.
He checks the toothbrush holder â there's only one toothbrush resting inside. The shower â there in the corner sits his solitary bottle of shampoo. Cologne is gone, aftershave is gone, razor is gone. Donghae's about to bolt from the bathroom when his eyes land on the hook behind the bathroom door. There's only one towel.
They had both used the motel's towels last night. Donghae pauses, a hand on the brass doorknob. Kibum was never a fan of motel towels â unsanitary, he says. So why would he have taken it?
Donghae's pulse kickstarts into a steady thrum.
He doesn't bother checking the closet. If Kibum's suitcase isn't there, there's nowhere else to look for it. Instead, Donghae checks the bed. There's one pillow slept on, and there's no dent in the bedcovers on the other half of the bed. Donghae's positive Kibum had been lying on that half just eight hours ago â he had only fallen asleep after Kibum had long drifted off.
The pad of Donghae's thumb brushes the skin of his ring finger. Donghae's about to turn when he stops in his tracks. His fingers go cold and he lifts his hand up to eye level. The ring he's had on since senior year in high school is gone. The ring given to him by a tipsy Kibum, a tipsy Kibum who had stumbled into his personal space sometime during prom and announced for everyone around to hear that he had a little crush on Donghae. Donghae woke up the next morning wrapped around Kibum and the ring on his finger.
Whenever Donghae took it off â not that he did often â it leaves a white band of skin around his finger in its wake. But this time, there's no discolouration. The pigmentation of the skin on his ring finger is consistent, smooth, almost perfect. No white band of skin.
Donghae can't breathe properly, can't think properly, can't stand properly. The last thing he remembers seeing before he blacks out is the obnoxious luggage tag on his suitcase. It should have both their names scribbled across the front in black sharpie, but there's only one name present.
His own.
Donghae opens the door to the motel's check in area, leaving his suitcase by the door. He's one step into the cabin when someone else barges in behind him, tossing his own suitcase alongside Donghae's. Donghae watches, caught a little off guard, as the other person dashes up to the counter.
"Have you seen my boyfriend? Tall, Chinese, dark hair?"
"I'm sorry?" The manager doesn't quite know what to think.
"My boyfriend. I woke up this morning and he wasn't in bed. His things are gone and I can't reach him by phone. You have copies of our passports, could you check and see if you remember him coming by?"
"I can check, but sir, you didn't check in with anyone."
Donghae chooses this moment to interrupt. "Did your boyfriend go missing?"
"Yeah," the stranger answers, giving Donghae a wary look. "Why are you asking?"
"Mine did, too."
The manager looks up from where he's shuffling through a box of papers.
"You checked in alone too, sir."
Donghae laughs out of pure incredulity. "I sure as hell did not check in alone," Donghae says, "I hate traveling alone!"
The manager blinks and sets the box aside. He gestures for them to wait before he ducks into a back room. Donghae waits until the manager disappears around a doorframe before turning back to the stranger.
"I'm Donghae," Donghae says, extending his hand. "I'd rather not meet someone under these circumstances, but..."
"I'm Heechul," says Heechul, accepting Donghae's hand. "So... Your boyfriend's missing as well?"
Donghae nods.
"Isn't that a scary as fuck coincidence?"
Donghae blinks at the language, but finds himself agreeing nonetheless. "It's not something you see everyday, that's for sure."
The manager returns at that moment, hands supporting the weight of a small television screen. He sets it down onto the counter with a huff before turning it so that the screen faces the two men.
"This is the monitor for our security cameras. The both of you checked in last night, Mr. Kim a little later than Mr. Lee." The manager gestures vaguely to Heechul before swinging his hand towards Donghae's direction. "Watch."
The manager hits a button somewhere and the screen flickers to life. A few seconds into the recording, Donghae sees himself pushing the door to the cabin open â he waits expectantly for Kibum to show up right behind him, but no one appears. Donghae feels his throat shrivel and dry up. The manager glances at Donghae before hitting another button. The tape fast-forwards. The manager slaps the stop button.
Heechul's on the screen now, and there's no one around him, nothing apart from his bright pink suitcase. Heechul's eyes widen impossibly as he looks from the screen, up to the manager, and then to his left at Donghae's equally stunned face.
"This is ridiculous," Heechul mutters, "what sick joke do you think you're playing on us?"
"This is not a joke sir," the manager says, and Donghae can tell from the look in the man's eyes that he's not lying.
"You're lying," Heechul snaps. Turning on his heel, he bends to pick up his suitcase before storming out of the office. The manager watches quietly as Donghae looks over his shoulder at Heechul's retreating back. Then Donghae follows suit, falling into step alongside Heechul, their suitcases clattering noisily behind them on the asphalt.
"What do we do now?" Donghae asks, as they stand on the curb with their suitcases by their sides. Cars pass by in flashes, the drivers not giving them a second glance.
"We try and find them," Heechul answers. He turns to look at Donghae with a steely gaze. "Now, where would they go first?"
"Home," Donghae says. "Kibum would go home."
"Then let's go home."
They head towards Donghae's apartment first â it's closer. Donghae unlocks the door with shaky fingers, pushing it open with his toes and rolling his suitcase in. He sets it by the dining table, and as he straightens up, he knows something's not quite right.
"This is not my apartment," Donghae says slowly. Heechul looks at him odd.
"What are you saying?"
"My apartment doesn't look like this. I mean, it looks like this, but it doesn't."
Heechul shuts the door. "What?"
"There should be more photo frames on the wall, a pyramid of baseballs on the coffee table. An extra pair of bedroom slippers, a copy of Orwell's 1984 on the couch..."
Donghae trips over the carpet as he rushes into the kitchen. "One of our couple mugs are missing."
Heechul looks on as Donghae bolts for the bedroom. The closet's flung open and clothes are tossed out onto the carpet, the settee, the bed.
"None of his clothes are here, even the ones he never wears."
"Bathroom?"
Donghae looks inside, almost reluctantly. "Nothing of his."
Heechul wets his lips.
"Come on, let's leave."
Donghae shuts the door behind him without taking a last glance.
The trip to Heechul's apartment takes a few hours, and by the time Heechul's determined that Hangeng's belongings are nowhere to be found, they crash. Donghae falls asleep the moment his cheek hits the couch pillow, and Heechul passes out sprawled out across the too-big bed.
Donghae wakes up to the television blaring, Heechul crouched in front of the screen, eyes bugged. Donghae squints against the radiating light, pupils constricted.
"Heechul?"
"The manager of the motel's dead," Heechul says, monotone.
"What?"
"He's dead. Apparently, he committed suicide."
"When?"
"Time of death is approximately a couple hours after we left."
Donghae sits up slowly. "What does that mean?"
Heechul shrugs, back still towards Donghae. "Means nothing. Just a coincidence. Go back to sleep, we've got a long day ahead of us tomorrow."
With that, Heechul switches off the television and disappears back into his room. The door closes with a soft click.
Heechul opens the door to the café a little harder than necessary, and Donghae winces when the glass rattles in its frame. Heechul ignores the noise and walks up to the counter.
"Well," the barista says, setting her washrag down, "if it isn't Kim Heechul!"
"Hi Taeyeon," Heechul says, setting his elbows down onto the surface of the counter. "I have a question."
Taeyeon's eyebrows furrow at his serious tone, and she shifts her weight onto one leg. "What's up?"
"Has Hangeng come by lately?"
Taeyeon tilts her head and her mouth falls open a little. "...Hangeng?"
"Yeah," Heechul says, impatient. "Hangeng; my boyfriend?"
"You have a boyfriend?"
"What â Are you playing with me? Did he tell you to play with me? This isn't funny."
"I'm not playing with you!" Taeyeon exclaims. "I didn't know you had a boyfriend! You sure as hell never brought him here to meet me!"
Donghae chooses this moment to interrupt. "Heechul, I don't think she's lying."
"How the fuck would you know," Heechul spits, before rounding on Taeyeon once more. "Has he been around?"
"No," Taeyeon says forcefully, "because I don't know who the hell you're talking about."
Donghae grabs Heechul's arm and half-heaves, half-pulls him out of the café.
"Get a grip," Donghae mutters, freeing Heechul and shoving his hands into his pockets before starting off down the street. "We don't need two crazy people."
Donghae doesn't stop by the café that he and Kibum frequent, just because he knows that a visit would yield absolutely nothing. They return to Heechul's apartment, where Donghae curls up on the couch and pretends to fall asleep. He hears Heechul clunk around, presumably overturning drawers and rummaging through closets. Donghae sighs and buries his head deeper into the seam of the couch and lets darkness set in on his eyes.
Heechul jolts awake with cold sweat running down his neck. He dashes for the television, nearly running into a wall in the process, and fumbles around for the remote before finally being able to switch it on. Donghae wakes up when the light hits his face.
"What? What's going on?"
"I don't know," Heechul mutters, flicking through channels. "I have a bad feeling."
He lands on new late night news channel and he waits, awkwardly crouched, weight resting on the balls of his feet. The story changes and Heechul's met with a large picture of Taeyeon's face, with the caption Found Dead in Café's Kitchen flashing in his eyes.
"Oh my god," Donghae says, stunned. "Isn't that â"
"Taeyeon," Heechul finishes. His skin's paler than usual, washed out by the television's glow. Donghae sees flashes of fear in his eyes. "This isn't a coincidence anymore."
"What're we going to do? We can't find them if we can't talk to anyone."
Donghae watches a vein in Heechul's forehead tick and as his jaw clenches repeatedly. Then Heechul stands and looks over at Donghae. "I'm finding him, Donghae, no matter what."
Heechul shrugs Donghae's desperate hand off his arm and walks into the store. It's a music store Donghae and Kibum visit almost every weekend, kind of like their weekly treat â buying a new disc to add to a pre-existing collection or to try out a completely new band. Donghae runs a hand through his hair and follows.
"Hi Donghae!" Taemin chirps, "Haven't seen you around for a while!"
"Yeah," Donghae mumbles, "went away on a holiday for a bit."
"That sounds fun," Taemin says, straightening a stack of CDs on the counter before handing them over to a colleague. "Did you go by yourself?"
"No," Heechul interrupts, "he went with his boyfriend."
"You have a boyfriend?" Taemin asks, curious. "You never told me."
"I didn't?" Donghae says, deflating. "Oh."
"His name is Kibum," Heechul presses on. "Are you sure you've never heard of him?"
Taemin looks at Heechul oddly. "No, I've never heard of him. Who are you?"
"He's a friend," Donghae says hastily. "And I'm sorry, I thought I've mentioned him to you. Heechul, let's go."
Heechul stares at Taemin for a long moment before Donghae's tugging finally gets him to move. Donghae doesn't let go of Heechul until they turn the corner before he rounds on him.
"If Taemin dies tonight, I'm holding you responsible."
With that, Donghae stalks away, leaving an exasperated Heechul behind.
The rattling of the subway is soothing, and Donghae finds himself a little too relaxed, sitting bonelessly on the seat with Heechul's weight by his side the only thing keeping him from sliding off the plastic chair and onto the ground. He keeps his gaze trained on the buildings and trees flashing by the windows, pace steady and colours blurred.
The next thing he knows, Kibum's standing right in front of him, looking exactly the same as on the day he left. Donghae blinks, feels his tongue dry up, and he tightens his grip on the metal pole next to his seat.
"Kibum?" He whispers, scared that if he were to say his name any louder, Kibum would just disappear.
"Donghae," comes the answer, crisp and clear. His name coming out of Kibum's mouth has Donghae's breath hitching.
"Is this really you?"
"Of course," Kibum says, eyes laughing. Donghae had missed that. "Why would I be me?"
"But â"
Kibum reaches out a hand towards Donghae's cheek, but just before skin touches skin, the subway jerks and Kibum vanishes.
"Kibum?" Donghae says, heart pumping fear up into his mouth. Kibum's nowhere to be seen.
"Kibum!" Donghae screams, and he feels a sharp slap spreading across his face.
He opens his eyes to see Heechul standing over him and a whole group of strangers staring at him, unnerved.
"Heechul?"
"You went into a trance man," Heechul mutters, "started talking to yourself. You reached out to a random person over there. I didn't want to slap you, but you started screaming so loudly I thought it was the only way."
The train slows to a stop at a station and Donghae rises. The other passengers seem to part automatically, shying away from Donghae as he passes them. Heechul follows.
"What the hell happened?" Heechul demands, pulling Donghae down onto a marbled bench.
"I don't know," Donghae sighs, "I was looking out the window and the next thing I knew Kibum was standing right in front of me. He looked so real. We had a conversation. Then the train jerked and he disappeared."
Heechul's expression is unreadable.
They pass by an electronics store with multiple flat screen televisions in the display, all turned to the same news channel. Taemin's face is on every single screen. Suicide.
Donghae bites his lip so hard it draws blood. The metallic taste doesn't leave his mouth for a long time.
The moon's high in the sky before they decide to return home. They've walked the streets for hours, aimlessly heading in every direction, turning one way when the other way's blocked, scaling low walls and climbing fences.
Their trip yielded no results, of course, but what else can they do?
Steam fogs up the mirror and all Donghae can make out as he stares at his reflection is a fuzzy silhouette. Wrapping the towel tighter around his middle, he reaches out and rubs at the glass with his palm. He nearly punches the mirror out of fright when he sees Kibum standing right behind him.
Water droplets roll down the surface of the mirror as Donghae turns around.
"This is some sick joke," Donghae mutters, extending shaky fingers. Kibum promptly encloses them with his own. Donghae jumps.
"Why do you look like you've just seen a ghost?" Kibum asks, and Donghae can tell he's genuinely confused.
"Why? You disappeared during our holiday together, and when I tried finding you it was as if you never existed! People I asked about you would die, and then you appear right in front of me on the train, like you just did a minute ago, and I find out that it was a hallucination â"
"Shhhh," Kibum says softly, "that's all a dream."
"It's not a dream," Donghae says, incredulous. "I'm in Heechul's bathroom! If it were all a dream I wouldn't even have met him â"
"Are you sure you're in Heechul's bathroom?"
"Yes, I am, what â" Donghae stops talking as he takes a look around.
He's not in Heechul's bathroom; he's in the bathroom of the motel room he had left a few days ago. The motel room where he and Kibum had stayed in.
Kibum's lips seem to curve upwards just the slightest. Then Kibum leans in and touches soft lips onto Donghae's â the sensation is so familiar, so real, that Donghae believes it has all been a dream.
But everything turns black.
"Donghae!"
It sounds like Heechul's voice.
"Donghae! Wake up!"
It's definitely Heechul's voice.
"Mr. Lee?"
That is not Heechul's voice. Donghae opens his eyes.
His gaze lands on a kindly old man's face, the wrinkles around his eyes way too pronounced for Donghae's comfort.
"Ah," the man says, "you're awake."
"Who are you?"
"Mr. Lee," the man says, settling into a plastic chair. "I am Dr. Park."
"Doctor?" Donghae repeats. He looks down at himself. He's in a hospital gown. There are leather straps on each of his wrists â he's strapped down onto a hospital bed. "Where am I? Why am I tied down? What is this?"
"Mr. Lee," Dr. Park continues, "you've relapsed."
Donghae laughs, dry. "What the fuck do you mean 'relapsed'?"
"Why don't you tell me what happened over the last week?"
"Why should I?"
Dr. Park shifts in his seat. "Amuse me."
Donghae sucks his cheeks and exhales. "Alright. A few days ago I went on a holiday with my boyfriend, Kibum. One morning I woke up and he was gone. So I headed out to the motel's office to see if the manager had seen him, and that was where I ran into a man called â"
"Heechul?"
Donghae pauses. "How did you know?"
Dr. Park turns around in his seat and beckons to some one outside the room. A nurse walks in with a tape recorder in her hands. Dr. Park takes it from her with a smile and waits until she's left before turning back to Donghae. Wordlessly, he presses the Play button.
"â Heechul. It turns out his boyfriend, Hangeng, had disappeared, too. So we sort of joined forces in order to find them both. But people who we ask about their presence turn up dead the very same night â"
"Stop it," Donghae forces out through gritted teeth. "What the fuck is that? Where did you get that from?"
"That's you, your voice. I'm sure you recognise it? This was recorded a month ago."
"Lies," Donghae whispers, "all lies. You're lying to me."
"How can I lie about something like this, Mr. Lee?"
Donghae shakes his head vehemently and attempts to mold into the hospital bed.
Dr. Park sighs and turns around again. "Bring them in."
Donghae looks over at the doorway. He sees shadows, and the shadows turn into people. With each person that enters the room, Donghae's eyes widen just a little more.
"Recognise them?"
"Yes," Donghae says slowly. "That's Heechul. Taeyeon. Taemin... But who's that? And how did you bring them back to life?"
"That's Hangeng," Dr. Park says, "and I didn't bring them back to life, because they were never dead."
Donghae bursts out in hysterical laughter.
"Donghae," Heechul says, slowly. "Donghae, you gotta snap out of it."
"The fuck are you talking about," Donghae says. "And how did you find Hangeng?"
Hangeng steps forward hesitantly. "I was never 'gone', Donghae."
"Mr. Lee â"
"Stop calling me that," Donghae snaps.
"Alright," Dr. Park agrees easily. "Donghae. We have answers for you, but you have to be prepared to hear them."
"Just tell me."
Donghae blinks at the number of people surrounding him. Who are they?
"Before I begin," Dr. Park says, "I just wanted you to see them."
"Who are they."
Heechul sighs and buries his face in his hands.
"Do you know them?" Donghae asks, nudging him.
"I do, Donghae. And so do you. We've spent decades together."
"Now now," Dr. Park says, "we don't want to get ahead of ourselves. Donghae, try and see if you can remember."
"Remember what?!" Donghae cries, "I don't know these people!"
Dr. Park pulls out a thick manila folder. "Your name is Lee Donghae, am I right?"
"Yes."
"Born on the 15th of October, 1986 in Mokpo?"
"Yes and yes."
"Member of Korean idol group Super Junior?"
"What?"
"Think back to the year 2005," Dr. Park says, "what do you remember?"
"How can I remember events from all those years ago? It's been decades!"
Dr. Park opens his mouth, but a man from the group of people on the other side of the room â that Donghae has absolutely no recollection of â springs forward.
"Kibum died in a car accident two years ago Donghae. You took his death way too hard â ever since then you've had episodes, delusional episodes, and you've been admitted to countless psychological institutes. You'd make up this big scenario on how you and Kibum went on a holiday and he disappears one day and you meet Heechul and the two of you embark on this hunt â you made this whole thing up Donghae, to cope. You've started getting better a few months ago, but you recently relapsed. Can't you remember any of these, Donghae? Can't you remember us? Remember that Kibum's dead and not coming back?"
"Jungsu!"
Donghae tries to wet his lips but his tongue's dry, too.
"We need to get you started on your medication," Dr. Park says, "as soon as possible would be great."
Donghae rubs at his eyes â there are hundreds and thousands of images floating around in his head, all of them apparently memories of events that he doesn't remember. Everyone in the room with him are in his head, and there's just too much to handle. He groans and presses the heels of his palms into his eye sockets, so hard that phosphenes explode in the millions.
"It's okay," Heechul says, "you'll start to remember. Trust me. We're all here for you."
Nurses wheel Donghae back to his room where he's helped into his bed and strapped in once more.
Taeyeon gives him a kiss on the cheek before she leaves. "We'll visit you tomorrow."
Taemin waves.
A nurse walks in with a tray. Colourful pills in paper cups sit on the metal surface, pills of light green and pink, some white and some yellow. Donghae thinks he could make a pretty collage with them.
Two months pass, and Donghae remembers almost every significant event that's lacking from his memory. He remembers Kibum's accident, Hangeng's departure, his father's death. His enlistment, his discharge, Donghee's marriage.
In just a week's time, he's due to be discharged from the hospital.
Stepping into the bathroom, Donghae sets his towel down on the sick before turning the shower on. He brushes his teeth, hums to A-CHA, and rinses out his mouth. The steam unfurls around him as he scrubs at his scalp and body, soap suds rolling off his skin and down the drain.
Making sure to step onto the mat â he slips really easily â Donghae reaches out for his towel and wraps it tight around his waist. Whistling, he rubs at the mirror with his hand.
Kibum's smiling at him through the mirror.
Poll Round 15: Atomic Skies