Round 17: until it shines
Title: until it shines
Team: AU
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Super Junior
Pairing: Kyuhyun/Zhou Mi
Summary: candy store!au. Ten years later, they find each other, and Kyuhyun learns there’s no escaping fate.
Author's Note: thank you so much to M and S for being amazing betas, and to my team for being such great support along the way ♥ I couldn’t have done this without you guys! also, Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi are a bit older in this fic - in 1999, they’re both 18 years old.
Prompt Used: Koyote - 1999
It's snowing. Kyuhyun watches through the window, glances back at where Zhou Mi is among the throng on the dance floor, and wades through the crowd to pull him away.
"Let's take a walk," he shouts, voice barely audible over the music. Zhou Mi lets him pull them along, and they push through all the "IT'S TIME FOR A NEW MILLENIUM" banners and streamers hanging from the ceiling, out into the night.
"Can you believe it?" Kyuhyun says, watching the snowflakes fall. He stretches out the hand not linked with Zhou Mi's and one lands on it, so clear for an instant before it melts. "This is it. The end of a century."
"And there's still so much ahead of us." The grin on Zhou Mi's face fades a little when he turns to look at Kyuhyun, then he frowns. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," Kyuhyun says. "But- I just, I feel like nothing can be the same. The band broke up. At the end of the year, Siwon's going to America, Heechul's going to China, and we're not even going to the same schools."
Zhou Mi squeezes his hand. "We'll make it work."
"I don't know if we can."
Zhou Mi stops walking. "Are we-"
"Yes." Kyuhyun can't even look at him. It's hard to even say it, but Kyuhyun pulls his hand away from Zhou Mi's and tries to stand tall. "I- I love you, I really do, but-"
"Did I do something wrong? Did I, did you, Kui Xian- why?"
"You didn't do anything," Kyuhyun says. "But this won't work. Just believe me, Zhou Mi. It's not going to work."
"Why?" Zhou Mi says again, but Kyuhyun doesn't answer, only turns back and walks back to Henry's house in silence. Zhou Mi walks beside him, but they don't hold hands.
"There's still time left," Zhou Mi says before they enter again, voice so quiet Kyuhyun barely hears.
Kyuhyun steps through the door, and when the music has enveloped them again, he says, "If I don't do it now, I never will."
Zhou Mi couldn't have heard, Kyuhyun knows, but he's looking at Kyuhyun like he has.
They walk into the living room. Everyone is gathered around the TV in the center; someone turns the music off. "It's almost time for the countdown," someone says.
The numbers flash big on the TV screen. Ten, nine, eight…
Kyuhyun turns to face Zhou Mi, who's still looking at him with that look in his eyes, and wonders if this is the right decision. He has to do it, he knows. He has to. For Zhou Mi.
Seven, six, five.
Kyuhyun steps closer, barely breathing, hands shaking. He turns his face up so he can feel Zhou Mi's breath on his lips. They've been together years now, and yet Kyuhyun's heart still picks up a little when he's this close. Four, three, two.
"I love you," Kyuhyun says, and presses his lips to Zhou Mi's one last time as the room explodes in cheers.
~
Accounting isn't the worst career he could have pursued, Kyuhyun reminds himself for the fifteenth time that day. At least he still isn't working at Ahra's cafe. This job doesn't involve nearly as much socializing.
But after spending six years working in the same place, doing the same work day in and day out, Kyuhyun finds that he's been going to sleep feeling a strange tightness in his chest, like there's something wrong, something important he still has to do. And he's pretty sure it's not work - as messy as his home is, Kyuhyun keeps his spreadsheets as neat as Sungmin's, but somehow completing a report for a client isn't as satisfying as it used to be. Sometimes it seems like the days have all blurred into one long day of calculations and staring so hard at his computer screen he can feel his eyesight deteriorating. And maybe it's not so much that his job is boring - he likes it, still kind of enjoys it, even - but sometimes he thinks that the problem is that there's nothing else. He sees Henry at the bar every Thursday, goes clubbing with him maybe once a month, and for the rest of the week he heads home and games or watches TV until his eyes feel even more tired than usual.
"You need a change of pace," says Henry, words a little slurred, when Kyuhyun tells him this on Thursday night. Henry puts a hand on Kyuhyun's shoulder and pats it clumsily. "That's why I quit my job a couple of years after college, y'know. Got bored. Nothing new, just the same thing every day. Donghae said I'd lost my touch, whatever that meant. You just need to try something new, maybe. Bring new people into your life. Take some chances."
"How?" Kyuhyun says, but Henry's gaze is locked on something to the left of Kyuhyun's head.
"Hey, what do you think of that guy over there? The tall one. With the snapback and the shades."
The person in question is on the other side of the bar and looks to be deliberately avoiding their eyes. He's been giving Henry the eyes all night. "Go for it."
"You think I have a shot?" Henry grins.
"No doubt," Kyuhyun says, and shoves Henry away from his seat. "I'll take a taxi home."
"Thanks, man," Henry says, beaming. The next time Kyuhyun looks over, the guy has both his hands in Henry's back pockets and their faces are so close Kyuhyun's not sure he could even fit a piece of paper between them. Henry stops making out with the other guy for a moment to wave goodbye as Kyuhyun leaves, and Kyuhyun flashes him a thumbs-up in return.
"A change of pace," Kyuhyun says to himself on the taxi ride home, ignoring the odd look the driver gives him. "I can do that."
~
He's halfway home the next day when he notices, out of the corner of his eye, a new store across the street from where he's walking. It's been boarded up with a bright pink 'Coming Soon!' sign in the window for the last who-knows-how-long, and now instead of wooden boards there's a man in the window making quick, but neat and precise cuts in a sheet of toffee. Kyuhyun's favorite candy. He usually doesn't make stops on the way home, but he thinks of what Henry said yesterday and goes in.
The man by the window turns to greet him. "Welcome to Mimi's Candy! How can I help you?"
"I'm just here to look around," Kyuhyun says. He turns away to look at the shelves on the other side of the store, covered in stacks of thin boxes and rows of candy-filled bags, but another voice has him freezing in place.
"Ryeowook? Did you need something? I heard you speak." Kyuhyun swears he knows that voice, that accent, but it can't be- "Oh! Welcome! I'm sorry, I didn't hear you come in. Is there anything I can help you with today?"
Kyuhyun turns around. They lock eyes, and the broad smile on the other man's face freezes.
"Kyuhyun."
"Zhou Mi."
Ryeowook sets his work down, eyes lighting up. "You know each other?"
There are a few moments of silence. Zhou Mi's eyes are still locked on him. "Yeah," Zhou Mi says. "We… knew each other. In high school."
Ryeowook glances between them a couple of times, like he knows there's something more, but turns away. "I need to get something from the back," he says. "I'll leave you guys alone."
More silence as Ryeowook shuffles away, and then: "You look… different."
It's a moment before Kyuhyun answers. He knows he's changed since his high school days - his hair is neatly combed, parted to one side, his skin is even paler than before, and his face has gotten a little rounder; his suit is getting to be too tight around his midsection. All that's left of his acne are scars on his cheeks, and he knows they're easy to see in the afternoon light. "Yeah. You, too."
Actually, Zhou Mi looks just the same. Still as tall as ever, smile no less bright, hair still neat, bangs falling into his eyes. Maybe there are a few more creases in his forehead, or in the corners of his eyes, but, really. He looks like he hasn't aged a day.
"How've you been?" Zhou Mi says. "I haven't heard from you since- since." His voice trails off a bit. "High school."
"Good. I went to Yonsei, helped out at my sister's cafe for a while. Five or six years back, I got a job as an accountant at the firm a couple of blocks down. My apartment's not far away, so I just walk. It's been good."
"Still play Starcraft?" There's a smile tugging at the corner of Zhou Mi's mouth. Kyuhyun thinks of the nights he'd spend trying to coerce Zhou Mi into playing with him, so, so many years ago, and he thinks of the way Zhou Mi had knocked his laptop off the bed out of fright, complaining about his blood pressure rising too much. He almost laughs.
"Nah," he says. "I've moved on to League of Legends. You should play with me sometime."
Zhou Mi grins. "You haven't changed a bit."
"You just said five minutes ago that I look different."
"You know what I mean," he says, laughing. "You. Not your face, not your clothes, not your hair. You. I'll bet you still wake up all your neighbors in the middle of the night with your yelling, and forget to shower, and spend hours watching reruns of X-Man on the weekends. Or was that Infinity Challenge?"
"I never did that!" Kyuhyun says. Zhou Mi looks at him, nonplussed. "Okay, fine. I did. But I don't anymore. I've moved on to Running Man."
Zhou Mi smiles. The way he looks at Kyuhyun is so fond. "Like I said. You haven't changed a bit."
There's a stretch of quiet, but it's not uncomfortable. Kyuhyun stares at Zhou Mi, taking in nothing but everything, thinking about all the times this same small smile used to rest on Zhou Mi's lips when they were together. Kyuhyun thinks about this, and thinks about now, and suddenly it feels like this is happening too fast. It's been so many years since they broke up. And somehow they're already falling into the same old rhythm as always. It feels like he's that same spindly stick of a teenager again, chasing after Zhou Mi like a lost puppy. God, he really hasn't changed at all.
He breaks eye contact first and fixes his gaze on the ground by his shoes. "I. Uh. I really think I have to go."
"Oh," Zhou Mi says. He sounds surprised, but Kyuhyun won't look up to see it. "Okay, d-"
"I'll come again," Kyuhyun says, the words coming out rushed. "I just didn't bring my wallet, and I just remembered I have plans, and. I have to go."
"Okay," Zhou Mi says again. When Kyuhyun spares a glance on his way out, Zhou Mi's beaming again as he waves. "It was nice seeing you again!"
"You too," Kyuhyun mumbles at his shoes, and as the all-too-familiar buzz of adrenaline fades from his bones, he wishes that weren't quite so true.
~
Kyuhyun hesitates on his way home from the office the next day. He's standing just outside the white wooden door of Mimi's Candy and - well, he shouldn't. They dated over ten years ago. Kyuhyun's had his fair share of uncomfortable situations with his exes, and he shouldn't be that person here. He shouldn't come in and bug someone who might not even want him to be around.
He takes a breath just as he's about to reach for the door handle. It would be weird. He glances up through the small window in the door as he starts to pull his hand back; Zhou Mi looks up and meets his eyes, immediately grinning wide and gesturing for him to come in. Kyuhyun finds himself smiling back as he pushes the door open and steps in.
"Kyuhyun! It's good to see you again," Zhou Mi says, and Kyuhyun relaxes, because Zhou Mi's smiling the same way he used to when he spotted Kyuhyun across the room, or when he saw a cute puppy. Zhou Mi gestures to a mat in front of him covered in a large, deep blue puddle. "Want to help me pull sugar?"
Kyuhyun peers over the glass divider, watching Zhou Mi quickly flip the edges in with his fingertips, let the puddle spread back out like molten lava, and repeat. "Isn't melted sugar supposed to be, uh, hot?"
Zhou Mi laughs. "That's why you don't touch it for too long." Then, waving his long, latex-gloved fingers, he adds, "And you wear these. Trust me, Kui Xian. You won't get burnt."
Kui Xian. It's been so long since Kyuhyun's heard that said aloud. The way it slides off Zhou Mi's tongue is still so sweet, so musical. "I - uh. Sure. I'd love to try."
Zhou Mi gets a pair of gloves for him and explains what to do. "Quick touches, like this," he says, twisting and folding the sugar, then stretching it back out. "Don't keep your hands on it too long, or you'll get burnt. We're working air into it. Pretty soon, this lump will be shiny and beautiful."
Kyuhyun yelps the first time he touches the sugar, and Zhou Mi snickers.
"I was just surprised," Kyuhyun says, pouting. "It didn't look that hot."
Zhou Mi grins and bumps Kyuhyun's hip with his. "Try it again. If it gets too hot, take your hands off for a while. Lay them flat on the counter, where it's cool."
Kyuhyun nods and braces himself for the heat. This time, he's able to fold the sugar over before he has to take his hands off; Zhou Mi stretches it out for him. "Okay. That wasn't too bad."
They switch off for a while, Kyuhyun hyper-aware of every brush of Zhou Mi's arm or hip or foot against his, until there are strands of silver running through the blue, and the whole block of sugar shines like there are pearls inside.
"Wow," Kyuhyun says. "I didn't know you could do that."
"Pretty amazing, isn't it?" Zhou Mi says. "It's been so many years and I still don't get tired of watching it happen."
"I can see why," Kyuhyun says. For the first time in a while, he glances out the window. It's almost dark out. When did that happen?
Zhou Mi follows his gaze and then checks his watch. "Oh! It's closing time. Already, wow. Want to help me clean up?"
Together the put the supplies away and separate the sugar into chunks to store for later. By the time they've locked up and they're standing by Zhou Mi's sleek silver car at the curb, somehow Kyuhyun can't bring himself to turn away. Not yet.
Zhou Mi reaches for his hand. Their fingers tangle together, warm and familiar. He smiles at Kyuhyun in the dark, and it's not his usual face-splitting grin, but softer. Kyuhyun feels like he's in high school again. This isn't happening. He is not-
"I had a really good time with you today, Kyuhyun."
"Me too," Kyuhyun says. The air is so still. He could just, maybe if he stepped a little closer-
"Come again sometime," Zhou Mi says, words a rush. "The shop isn't very busy. Or - or, if your number is the same-"
"It is."
"-maybe we could have dinner together sometime? To catch up."
Kyuhyun has to purse his lips together really hard to keep from smiling too wide. "Why not both?"
"Both sounds great." Zhou Mi beams, and then pulls away, though he doesn't let go of Kyuhyun's hand for a moment. "I'll see you soon."
He lets Kyuhyun's hand fall from his grasp and walks around to the other side of his car, waving through the window once he's in. He's smiling all huge again.
"See you," Kyuhyun says as Zhou Mi eases away from the curb. He's left standing there for a while before he realizes he needs to go home, and as he walks he notices the tightness in his chest has loosened its grip a little. Kyuhyun breathes easy, and thinks about tomorrow.
~
Kyuhyun starts coming back every day after work instead of working overtime. Zhou Mi teaches him to temper chocolate and how to make taffy; Kyuhyun helps prepare whatever Zhou Mi needs for the next day. Orders are pouring in, it seems like - every day Zhou Mi has something new to make - and Zhou Mi promises he'll find time to take Kyuhyun to dinner soon, sometime soon.
"I should pay you," Zhou Mi says one evening, when they're pouring sugar into molds for a sculpture Zhou Mi's been asked to make. Kyuhyun doesn't flinch when he handles the sugar now, and he and Zhou Mi work quickly. "You're always helping me with my work."
"No, no," Kyuhyun says, "Don't. I like being here. It's not work for me."
"You sure?" Zhou Mi says. "I'll take you out to dinner, I promise. Soon. I just don't have time right now and-"
"Don't worry about it," Kyuhyun says. "I understand. I'm happy just being here."
Zhou Mi smiles. "Thank you, Kui Xian. I promise it'll happen. Just not now."
When Kyuhyun comes back the next afternoon, all the remaining pieces of the sculpture have set and Zhou Mi is beginning to assemble them. He sets Kyuhyun to work pulling sugar for a pink rose and they work in quiet for a while. Usually, they talk about Kyuhyun's work and what Zhou Mi has been doing since high school, which is a pretty complicated story, as it turns out; but today, Zhou Mi is focused on his work, making sure every piece of the sculpture is assembled perfectly.
Zhou Mi finishes the basic structure of the base and moves to start making rose petals while Kyuhyun starts pulling the green sugar for stems. It's still quiet, but Zhou Mi starts humming something familiar as he curls small petals around a blossom. Words of the West Wind, Kyuhyun remembers - Zhou Mi liked to sing it in high school. Kyuhyun chimes in with the words and Zhou Mi almost drops his work when he realizes he's been humming, but then he smiles and adds the harmony. It's been years since Kyuhyun sang, really sang, but by the time it's dark they're belting out the lyrics to Those Years, leaning into each other and laughing each time one of them makes a mistake. Kyuhyun has missed hearing the way Zhou Mi's voice blends with his, the way the notes hang still in the air when they sing the last words together and Kyuhyun's eyes linger on Zhou Mi's too long.
"I missed that," Zhou Mi says, sighing. "Singing with you. Singing like that."
"Me too," Kyuhyun says. "It's been forever."
"I thought you always wanted to be a singer. I have to admit, I was surprised when you told me you had an office job. I knew you weren't famous, but I thought you'd be in the industry, at least-"
"Well, dreams don't always work out," Kyuhyun says.
They're silent the rest of the night. Kyuhyun doesn't realize how tense his shoulders are until he straightens up from his work at closing time and feels how stiff he is.
"I'll see you tomorrow?" Zhou Mi says outside his car. He's watching Kyuhyun, biting his bottom lip.
"Yeah," Kyuhyun says, and Zhou Mi smiles. "See you tomorrow."
It's a long time Kyuhyun sleeps that night, and when he does, he dreams of the spotlight, of Siwon on the drums behind him, of Heechul on the guitar, and of Zhou Mi beside him, singing into the dark.
~
They fall back into step as easily as ever when Kyuhyun comes back the next day. It's like nothing ever happened. Zhou Mi sets Kyuhyun to work tempering chocolate for a wedding order, and halfway through Kyuhyun remembers his sister was going to call him sometime in the evening.
"I'll be right back," Kyuhyun says. "I need to check my phone."
When he opens the door to the back room, he stops and blinks a few times to make sure he's not hallucinating.
Instead of the familiar, cramped back room full of boxes, a street stretches out in front of him and the cars parked along it are half-buried in snow; slush lines the sidewalks and the wind that rushes through makes Kyuhyun shiver.
"Zhou Mi," he says slowly, "what day is it?"
"April seventh," Zhou Mi says, "why? And did you turn the fan on?" Kyuhyun hears Zhou Mi's footsteps behind him. "You know we have to be careful with the temp-" The footsteps stop. "Kui Xian?"
"I don't know what's happening."
"Am I seeing things, or-"
"I see it too," Kyuhyun says. "Do you think we should…"
"I'll get you a jacket," Zhou Mi says, and Kyuhyun listens to a cabinet in the front open and close before Zhou Mi is back, pressing a soft coat into his hands. "I packed these in a box by accident. Forgot to take them home."
Kyuhyun can see his breath. Snow is falling, and when he reaches out he can feel it land on his skin and melt, just like that. He looks over his shoulder at Zhou Mi, silhouetted against the spring light coming through the window behind him, and he hooks his arm through Zhou Mi's. "Ready?"
"Here we go," Zhou Mi says, and they step out onto the cold street, closing the wooden door behind them.
~
"I feel like I'm dreaming," Kyuhyun says. The door they'd stepped out of is, upon turning back, the entrance to a small convenience store, and it looks nothing like the street he walks down every day, but it still feels like he's been here before.
"Then we both are," Zhou Mi says, and bends down to pick up a newspaper half-buried by snow on the sidewalk. At the top, it reads, December 30, 1999. "1999? This- this is a prank, right? We're not eighteen anymore. This isn't 1999. Someone's going to jump out and wish me a happy early birthday and it'll be amazing because this is a really, really elaborately planned surprise party-"
"What if it's not?" Kyuhyun says, quiet. "What if it's real?"
"Are you in on this too?" Zhou Mi says, running his hands through his hair. "Because if you are, this is really mean, Kui Xian. You know, I always said - I always told myself - if I could come back to this year, this time, do it all over again, fix things-"
"I'm just as confused as you are, Mi, but," Kyuhyun says, "me too. This year, the end of it, it- it changed everything."
When Kyuhyun looks back at him, Zhou Mi seems to have lost the panic that had been in his eyes just a moment earlier; there are dark circles under his eyes that Kyuhyun hadn't noticed before, and for once Kyuhyun can see the years that have gone by in the fine wrinkles in the corners of Zhou Mi's eyes and mouth.
"You never told me why you did it," Zhou Mi says.
"I didn't have to."
"I have a right to know," Zhou Mi says, voice hard. "Don't you think?"
Kyuhyun turns away. "I don't want to talk about it."
"You're going to have to," Zhou Mi almost shouts, and the sound echoes. "You can't- you can't just come back into my life and think that everything's gonna be okay if we pretend like nothing ever happened, like you didn't break my heart or throw away all your dreams for a job I know you don't even enjoy - you always come in looking like you've been kicked a hundred times or someone stole your cake - and you, you can't expect things to be like this forever! We can't just not talk about things and expect-"
"Why not?" Kyuhyun says, glaring at the ground, fingers bunching up his sleeves to keep from shaking.
"This isn't right," Zhou Mi says. "The Kyuhyun I knew would throw anything away for his dreams. Would fight for it until the end, even if a million people were screaming at him to stop. The Kui Xian I knew-"
"And that's where you're wrong," Kyuhyun says. "Maybe you didn't know me as well as you thought."
There's a long pause. Then, quietly, Zhou Mi says, "Maybe I didn't," and before Kyuhyun can say anything else Zhou Mi is walking away, around the corner, and down the street until Kyuhyun can't see his long shadow beneath the street lights.
~
Once he's walked a few blocks, Kyuhyun starts noticing familiar stores - Mr. Seo's barber shop down the street, and the bakery around the corner, restaurants he's been to - this is Nowon, Kyuhyun's hometown. It's getting dark out so Kyuhyun stops in at a motel he remembers, but no one looks up as he enters.
"Hello," he says. The woman at the front desk shuffles around, organizing keys. "Excuse me." No luck. He walks up to the woman and taps her shoulder; she jumps and screens, but when she turns she's looking right through him.
"I swear," the woman fusses, "I'm going crazy."
This really must be a dream. Or a nightmare. He's invisible, he's all alone here, and who knows where Zhou Mi went - but maybe that's something he shouldn't think about right now anyway. When the woman disappears down the hall, calling for someone, Kyuhyun grabs a key and heads up the stairs.
The exhaustion finally hits when Kyuhyun buries himself under an unoccupied room's clean sheets. The bed feels like there must be a piece of cardboard underneath him instead of a mattress, but the blankets are warm. Just as his eyelids begun to fall heavy over his eyes, Kyuhyun realizes he's still wearing Zhou Mi's jacket. It smiles like him, and it smells like the shop - melted sugar and sweet citrus and Zhou Mi - but he doesn't bother taking it off, just lets himself fall into the smell and into the dark.
When he wakes up, it's noon. There's no way this could be a dream now, but if they're both here and it's New Year's Eve, the day Kyuhyun broke up with Zhou Mi - it's clear what they're meant to do. But if he's going to change things, he has to find Zhou Mi first.
There's no one in Zhou Mi's old apartment, and he's not at the restaurant they used to frequent; Kyuhyun checks the park, the bakery, the cafe - nothing. It's getting dark. The convenience store doesn't lead back to 2009, Kyuhyun realizes once he pushes open the door. It's just a convenience store. But he spots someone tall and familiar in the back aisle.
"Zhou Mi!" Zhou Mi turns around and starts to grin, but it fades as quickly as it came and Kyuhyun feels like something's squeezing his chest tight, wants to say so much but Zhou Mi is standing there with his wide eyes and perfect skin and his hair is a mess and all that comes out of Kyuhyun's mouth is "Imissedyousomuch."
"Sorry?" Zhou Mi says, and Kyuhyun pauses halfway through panicking about what he's just said and exhales. This happens all the time, when Kyuhyun speaks too quickly for Zhou Mi to pick up.
"I just," Kyuhyun says, feeling breathless, "I have a lot to tell you."
Zhou Mi gestures to the shelf of instant ramen beside him. "Let's have dinner. Then we can talk."
~
"So if we can't be seen or heard," Zhou Mi says, fishing for the last of his noodles in his cup, "then how are we supposed to get our past selves back together?"
Kyuhyun has to think about that for a moment. "Maybe if we shove them together hard enough past-me will change my mind."
Zhou Mi laughs a little at first, but then his eyes light up. "What if we leave a note? Like, 'don't do it, you'll regret it and get sent back in time ten years from now to stop yourself'?"
Kyuhyun grins. "Perfect."
There's a pad of paper by the cash register and a capless pen on the ground. Zhou Mi pushes them into his pocket and they leave through the glass door to the convenience store, heading for Kyuhyun's house.
The spare key is still in the potted plant by the door, like Kyuhyun remembers; the trophy case that greets them at the front door is just like the one in Kyuhyun's present-day home, but here the math and singing competition trophies look a little brighter, less dusty.
"It feels like we're coming back from school," Zhou Mi says. "Just another day."
Kyuhyun pauses, turns and meets his eyes. "Do you miss it?"
Zhou Mi looks back at him. "All the time."
"Me too," Kyuhyun says.
Then, there's Kyuhyun's voice again - but from somewhere else. "Mom! Have you seen my shoes?"
"Time to go," Kyuhyun says, and they make their way to Kyuhyun's room down the hall, slipping through the gap where past-Kyuhyun has left it open.
There he is. Stick-skinny, pale like Kyuhyun still is, acne scattered over his cheeks, face angular, hair a mess. And so, so young. "Mom, I'm already late!"
"The note," Zhou Mi says. "Before he puts the jacket on!"
Kyuhyun fumbles for the slip of paper in his pocket and reaches for the jacket - only for his younger self to snatch it up and put it on before leaving the room. "Should I follow-"
"Yes!"
His younger self has found the shoes, and Kyuhyun reaches to slip the note into his open jacket pocket - but Past-Kyu backs up and into Kyuhyun's hand.
"What was that?" Kyu says, frowning, and Kyuhyun jumps back.
"What do we do?" Kyuhyun says.
"I don't know," Zhou Mi says. "Drop it in front of him as he walks?"
Kyu doesn't notice the slip of paper when it flutters down to the ground in front of his feet; instead, he walks right over it. When they try it again outside, he looks down, but ignores it. Every time.
After Kyu enters Henry's house, Zhou Mi sits down on a dry spot of the curb and sighs. "We can't keep doing this if it won't work. But it's not like we can just shove them into each other and expect things to work out fine, either."
"Let's just try it one more time," Kyuhyun says. "Come on."
Inside, they find their past selves together in the crowd. Kyu keeps looking at young Zhou Mi, then looking away, biting his lip and keeping a bit of a distance between them. Kyuhyun remembers that. And when past-Mi grabs his arm, Kyu's still stiff, lets Mi drag him away, but looks at him with sad eyes the whole time.
"How did I not realize?" the Zhou Mi beside Kyuhyun says. There's a small frown on his lips as he watches the them together, Mi in his tight t-shirt and brightly colored skinny jeans celebrating, Kyu beside him fidgeting. "The way you were looking at me - why didn't I notice?"
"I can't believe I was so obvious," Kyuhyun says. He doesn't feel like trying to stop it anymore. It feels inevitable now - it feels like it's already too late.
"I want to ask again," Zhou Mi says. "Why'd you do it?"
Just then, their younger selves head outside. Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi follow.
It's snowing. In front of them, Kyu says, "Can you believe it? This is it. The end of a century."
"I did it because I was scared," Kyuhyun says. Zhou Mi tears his eyes away from their past selves in front of them to look back at Kyuhyun, eyes searching. "I - I never told you, but I applied to Yonsei as an accounting major. That's why I chose it over the performing arts schools I got into, not because the others were expensive - because I gave up."
"We'll make it work," comes Mi's voice from ahead of them.
"And you," Kyuhyun continues as their younger selves turn back, "you had big dreams - putting out an album, opening a bakery or a candy store, going to culinary school… I was so scared that if I ever told you, you'd do the same thing I did. That you'd think the only way to be successful was to do what was practical."
"There's still time left," Mi says.
"But why did you give up?" Zhou Mi says.
"My parents. They kept saying I'd never make it as a singer, and I was good at math anyways, so why not do what I knew could make me a living? And I guess it got to me. But you were different, you know? I knew you could do it. And you did."
"I wish you'd just told me," Zhou Mi says. "I wouldn't have given up."
"I wish I had, too," Kyuhyun says, and pulls Zhou Mi into the house.
They walk into the living room. Everyone is gathered around the TV in the center; someone turns the music off. "It's almost time for the countdown," someone says.
"You know, I don't think we're here to change the past," Kyuhyun says, turning to face Zhou Mi. "I think… we're here to change the future."
The numbers flash big on the television screen. Ten, nine, eight...
"What do you mean?" Zhou Mi says. Seven, six, five.
Kyuhyun steps closer, barely breathing, hands shaking. Four, three, two. "This," he says, and presses his lips to Zhou Mi's as the room explodes in cheers.
~
They leave the party after that, walking through the streets hand in hand until they reach the same convenience store they'd come out of. Now, the door isn't clear glass - it's wooden, and when they push it open they're met with the smell of melted sugar and chocolate.
"Oh my god," Zhou Mi says, "we're back. We're really back."
"What day is it?" Kyuhyun says. It's evening out, just as it was when they'd left; Zhou Mi shoots one last look out the door to the past before he pushes it shut, and pulls it back open. Behind it, once again, there are stacks and stacks of boxes. Just like before. He finds his phone and hands Kyuhyun's to him, too. The screen reads, April 7, 2009. He has a missed call from Ahra, just five minutes ago.
"Is my phone broken?" Zhou Mi says.
"Mine must be, too. That's- it can't be-"
"The same day," Zhou Mi says. "How?"
"Who knows?" Kyuhyun says. "Maybe we were hallucinating."
Zhou Mi grins. "If we were hallucinating, at least we were hallucinating together."
"Oh my god," Kyuhyun says, groaning. "I forgot how cheesy you were. I can't even look at you right now."
"How about what you did back at the party?" Zhou Mi shoots back. "That was straight out of some awful romantic comedy."
"You are straight out of some awful romantic comedy," Kyuhyun says, and Zhou Mi just laughs and kisses him.
"I'll take that as a compliment."
~
Singing is the career he should have pursued all along, Kyuhyun thinks for the millionth time that night. The moment he'd stepped onto a stage again and felt the heat of the spotlight, so familiar, so right, he knew. There is no tightness in his chest, no stiffness in his limbs, and every time he looks out into the crowd and sees people watching him, smiling at him, he can't help but smile back.
His parents weren't happy at first. Of course they weren't. Kyuhyun had left his job and started working part-time at Zhou Mi's store, taking whatever shifts Ryeowook couldn't, and when he was free he went looking - in coffee shops, restaurants, clubs, anywhere that might want a singer, anywhere he could perform. His parents had thought he'd gone crazy, but it's been a year and now, at least, they don't call so much to make sure he still has money, and they even come to see his shows sometimes - he has performances a few nights a week at a local cafe, and the pay isn't too bad. He still helps out at the store sometimes, but since he and Zhou Mi live together now anyway, he doesn't let Zhou Mi pay him for it; instead, he drags Zhou Mi out to busk with him downtown. Zhou Mi always grins so wide when they start to gather a crowd, just like he does when he's finished a sculpture or made a perfect batch of truffles.
It's his last show for the week tonight. He sings Smile, Drunken Truth, and Seven Years of Love; it's only later, during New Endless Love, that he meets Zhou Mi's eyes in the audience and tries not to smile as he sings, "缘难了，情难了。“ It is difficult to escape fate, just as it is difficult to dissolve love.
"I didn't know you were coming," Kyuhyun says afterwards, the leftover adrenaline still keeping him breathless. "I would have, I dunno, dedicated something to you."
"Always so sweet," Zhou Mi says, grinning, and takes a step towards Kyuhyun just as someone says, "Excuse me."
Kyuhyun turns to see a man in a suit standing to his left. "Can I help you with something?"
"I'm from Millenium Records," the man says. "My colleagues and I have visited a few times during your shift. Are you currently signed to a label?"
Kyuhyun fights to keep the smile off of his face, and loses. "No, I- I'm not."
"We'd love to sign you," the man says. "We think you could be big, Kyuhyun-ssi, big. A solo album to start, and then-"
"Do you think," Kyuhyun says, "that maybe I could do a few duets?"
"Even better. Do you have someone in mind?"
Kyuhyun grins and glances over at Zhou Mi. "I know just the guy."
Poll
Team: AU
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Super Junior
Pairing: Kyuhyun/Zhou Mi
Summary: candy store!au. Ten years later, they find each other, and Kyuhyun learns there’s no escaping fate.
Author's Note: thank you so much to M and S for being amazing betas, and to my team for being such great support along the way ♥ I couldn’t have done this without you guys! also, Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi are a bit older in this fic - in 1999, they’re both 18 years old.
Prompt Used: Koyote - 1999
It's snowing. Kyuhyun watches through the window, glances back at where Zhou Mi is among the throng on the dance floor, and wades through the crowd to pull him away.
"Let's take a walk," he shouts, voice barely audible over the music. Zhou Mi lets him pull them along, and they push through all the "IT'S TIME FOR A NEW MILLENIUM" banners and streamers hanging from the ceiling, out into the night.
"Can you believe it?" Kyuhyun says, watching the snowflakes fall. He stretches out the hand not linked with Zhou Mi's and one lands on it, so clear for an instant before it melts. "This is it. The end of a century."
"And there's still so much ahead of us." The grin on Zhou Mi's face fades a little when he turns to look at Kyuhyun, then he frowns. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," Kyuhyun says. "But- I just, I feel like nothing can be the same. The band broke up. At the end of the year, Siwon's going to America, Heechul's going to China, and we're not even going to the same schools."
Zhou Mi squeezes his hand. "We'll make it work."
"I don't know if we can."
Zhou Mi stops walking. "Are we-"
"Yes." Kyuhyun can't even look at him. It's hard to even say it, but Kyuhyun pulls his hand away from Zhou Mi's and tries to stand tall. "I- I love you, I really do, but-"
"Did I do something wrong? Did I, did you, Kui Xian- why?"
"You didn't do anything," Kyuhyun says. "But this won't work. Just believe me, Zhou Mi. It's not going to work."
"Why?" Zhou Mi says again, but Kyuhyun doesn't answer, only turns back and walks back to Henry's house in silence. Zhou Mi walks beside him, but they don't hold hands.
"There's still time left," Zhou Mi says before they enter again, voice so quiet Kyuhyun barely hears.
Kyuhyun steps through the door, and when the music has enveloped them again, he says, "If I don't do it now, I never will."
Zhou Mi couldn't have heard, Kyuhyun knows, but he's looking at Kyuhyun like he has.
They walk into the living room. Everyone is gathered around the TV in the center; someone turns the music off. "It's almost time for the countdown," someone says.
The numbers flash big on the TV screen. Ten, nine, eight…
Kyuhyun turns to face Zhou Mi, who's still looking at him with that look in his eyes, and wonders if this is the right decision. He has to do it, he knows. He has to. For Zhou Mi.
Seven, six, five.
Kyuhyun steps closer, barely breathing, hands shaking. He turns his face up so he can feel Zhou Mi's breath on his lips. They've been together years now, and yet Kyuhyun's heart still picks up a little when he's this close. Four, three, two.
"I love you," Kyuhyun says, and presses his lips to Zhou Mi's one last time as the room explodes in cheers.
~
Accounting isn't the worst career he could have pursued, Kyuhyun reminds himself for the fifteenth time that day. At least he still isn't working at Ahra's cafe. This job doesn't involve nearly as much socializing.
But after spending six years working in the same place, doing the same work day in and day out, Kyuhyun finds that he's been going to sleep feeling a strange tightness in his chest, like there's something wrong, something important he still has to do. And he's pretty sure it's not work - as messy as his home is, Kyuhyun keeps his spreadsheets as neat as Sungmin's, but somehow completing a report for a client isn't as satisfying as it used to be. Sometimes it seems like the days have all blurred into one long day of calculations and staring so hard at his computer screen he can feel his eyesight deteriorating. And maybe it's not so much that his job is boring - he likes it, still kind of enjoys it, even - but sometimes he thinks that the problem is that there's nothing else. He sees Henry at the bar every Thursday, goes clubbing with him maybe once a month, and for the rest of the week he heads home and games or watches TV until his eyes feel even more tired than usual.
"You need a change of pace," says Henry, words a little slurred, when Kyuhyun tells him this on Thursday night. Henry puts a hand on Kyuhyun's shoulder and pats it clumsily. "That's why I quit my job a couple of years after college, y'know. Got bored. Nothing new, just the same thing every day. Donghae said I'd lost my touch, whatever that meant. You just need to try something new, maybe. Bring new people into your life. Take some chances."
"How?" Kyuhyun says, but Henry's gaze is locked on something to the left of Kyuhyun's head.
"Hey, what do you think of that guy over there? The tall one. With the snapback and the shades."
The person in question is on the other side of the bar and looks to be deliberately avoiding their eyes. He's been giving Henry the eyes all night. "Go for it."
"You think I have a shot?" Henry grins.
"No doubt," Kyuhyun says, and shoves Henry away from his seat. "I'll take a taxi home."
"Thanks, man," Henry says, beaming. The next time Kyuhyun looks over, the guy has both his hands in Henry's back pockets and their faces are so close Kyuhyun's not sure he could even fit a piece of paper between them. Henry stops making out with the other guy for a moment to wave goodbye as Kyuhyun leaves, and Kyuhyun flashes him a thumbs-up in return.
"A change of pace," Kyuhyun says to himself on the taxi ride home, ignoring the odd look the driver gives him. "I can do that."
~
He's halfway home the next day when he notices, out of the corner of his eye, a new store across the street from where he's walking. It's been boarded up with a bright pink 'Coming Soon!' sign in the window for the last who-knows-how-long, and now instead of wooden boards there's a man in the window making quick, but neat and precise cuts in a sheet of toffee. Kyuhyun's favorite candy. He usually doesn't make stops on the way home, but he thinks of what Henry said yesterday and goes in.
The man by the window turns to greet him. "Welcome to Mimi's Candy! How can I help you?"
"I'm just here to look around," Kyuhyun says. He turns away to look at the shelves on the other side of the store, covered in stacks of thin boxes and rows of candy-filled bags, but another voice has him freezing in place.
"Ryeowook? Did you need something? I heard you speak." Kyuhyun swears he knows that voice, that accent, but it can't be- "Oh! Welcome! I'm sorry, I didn't hear you come in. Is there anything I can help you with today?"
Kyuhyun turns around. They lock eyes, and the broad smile on the other man's face freezes.
"Kyuhyun."
"Zhou Mi."
Ryeowook sets his work down, eyes lighting up. "You know each other?"
There are a few moments of silence. Zhou Mi's eyes are still locked on him. "Yeah," Zhou Mi says. "We… knew each other. In high school."
Ryeowook glances between them a couple of times, like he knows there's something more, but turns away. "I need to get something from the back," he says. "I'll leave you guys alone."
More silence as Ryeowook shuffles away, and then: "You look… different."
It's a moment before Kyuhyun answers. He knows he's changed since his high school days - his hair is neatly combed, parted to one side, his skin is even paler than before, and his face has gotten a little rounder; his suit is getting to be too tight around his midsection. All that's left of his acne are scars on his cheeks, and he knows they're easy to see in the afternoon light. "Yeah. You, too."
Actually, Zhou Mi looks just the same. Still as tall as ever, smile no less bright, hair still neat, bangs falling into his eyes. Maybe there are a few more creases in his forehead, or in the corners of his eyes, but, really. He looks like he hasn't aged a day.
"How've you been?" Zhou Mi says. "I haven't heard from you since- since." His voice trails off a bit. "High school."
"Good. I went to Yonsei, helped out at my sister's cafe for a while. Five or six years back, I got a job as an accountant at the firm a couple of blocks down. My apartment's not far away, so I just walk. It's been good."
"Still play Starcraft?" There's a smile tugging at the corner of Zhou Mi's mouth. Kyuhyun thinks of the nights he'd spend trying to coerce Zhou Mi into playing with him, so, so many years ago, and he thinks of the way Zhou Mi had knocked his laptop off the bed out of fright, complaining about his blood pressure rising too much. He almost laughs.
"Nah," he says. "I've moved on to League of Legends. You should play with me sometime."
Zhou Mi grins. "You haven't changed a bit."
"You just said five minutes ago that I look different."
"You know what I mean," he says, laughing. "You. Not your face, not your clothes, not your hair. You. I'll bet you still wake up all your neighbors in the middle of the night with your yelling, and forget to shower, and spend hours watching reruns of X-Man on the weekends. Or was that Infinity Challenge?"
"I never did that!" Kyuhyun says. Zhou Mi looks at him, nonplussed. "Okay, fine. I did. But I don't anymore. I've moved on to Running Man."
Zhou Mi smiles. The way he looks at Kyuhyun is so fond. "Like I said. You haven't changed a bit."
There's a stretch of quiet, but it's not uncomfortable. Kyuhyun stares at Zhou Mi, taking in nothing but everything, thinking about all the times this same small smile used to rest on Zhou Mi's lips when they were together. Kyuhyun thinks about this, and thinks about now, and suddenly it feels like this is happening too fast. It's been so many years since they broke up. And somehow they're already falling into the same old rhythm as always. It feels like he's that same spindly stick of a teenager again, chasing after Zhou Mi like a lost puppy. God, he really hasn't changed at all.
He breaks eye contact first and fixes his gaze on the ground by his shoes. "I. Uh. I really think I have to go."
"Oh," Zhou Mi says. He sounds surprised, but Kyuhyun won't look up to see it. "Okay, d-"
"I'll come again," Kyuhyun says, the words coming out rushed. "I just didn't bring my wallet, and I just remembered I have plans, and. I have to go."
"Okay," Zhou Mi says again. When Kyuhyun spares a glance on his way out, Zhou Mi's beaming again as he waves. "It was nice seeing you again!"
"You too," Kyuhyun mumbles at his shoes, and as the all-too-familiar buzz of adrenaline fades from his bones, he wishes that weren't quite so true.
~
Kyuhyun hesitates on his way home from the office the next day. He's standing just outside the white wooden door of Mimi's Candy and - well, he shouldn't. They dated over ten years ago. Kyuhyun's had his fair share of uncomfortable situations with his exes, and he shouldn't be that person here. He shouldn't come in and bug someone who might not even want him to be around.
He takes a breath just as he's about to reach for the door handle. It would be weird. He glances up through the small window in the door as he starts to pull his hand back; Zhou Mi looks up and meets his eyes, immediately grinning wide and gesturing for him to come in. Kyuhyun finds himself smiling back as he pushes the door open and steps in.
"Kyuhyun! It's good to see you again," Zhou Mi says, and Kyuhyun relaxes, because Zhou Mi's smiling the same way he used to when he spotted Kyuhyun across the room, or when he saw a cute puppy. Zhou Mi gestures to a mat in front of him covered in a large, deep blue puddle. "Want to help me pull sugar?"
Kyuhyun peers over the glass divider, watching Zhou Mi quickly flip the edges in with his fingertips, let the puddle spread back out like molten lava, and repeat. "Isn't melted sugar supposed to be, uh, hot?"
Zhou Mi laughs. "That's why you don't touch it for too long." Then, waving his long, latex-gloved fingers, he adds, "And you wear these. Trust me, Kui Xian. You won't get burnt."
Kui Xian. It's been so long since Kyuhyun's heard that said aloud. The way it slides off Zhou Mi's tongue is still so sweet, so musical. "I - uh. Sure. I'd love to try."
Zhou Mi gets a pair of gloves for him and explains what to do. "Quick touches, like this," he says, twisting and folding the sugar, then stretching it back out. "Don't keep your hands on it too long, or you'll get burnt. We're working air into it. Pretty soon, this lump will be shiny and beautiful."
Kyuhyun yelps the first time he touches the sugar, and Zhou Mi snickers.
"I was just surprised," Kyuhyun says, pouting. "It didn't look that hot."
Zhou Mi grins and bumps Kyuhyun's hip with his. "Try it again. If it gets too hot, take your hands off for a while. Lay them flat on the counter, where it's cool."
Kyuhyun nods and braces himself for the heat. This time, he's able to fold the sugar over before he has to take his hands off; Zhou Mi stretches it out for him. "Okay. That wasn't too bad."
They switch off for a while, Kyuhyun hyper-aware of every brush of Zhou Mi's arm or hip or foot against his, until there are strands of silver running through the blue, and the whole block of sugar shines like there are pearls inside.
"Wow," Kyuhyun says. "I didn't know you could do that."
"Pretty amazing, isn't it?" Zhou Mi says. "It's been so many years and I still don't get tired of watching it happen."
"I can see why," Kyuhyun says. For the first time in a while, he glances out the window. It's almost dark out. When did that happen?
Zhou Mi follows his gaze and then checks his watch. "Oh! It's closing time. Already, wow. Want to help me clean up?"
Together the put the supplies away and separate the sugar into chunks to store for later. By the time they've locked up and they're standing by Zhou Mi's sleek silver car at the curb, somehow Kyuhyun can't bring himself to turn away. Not yet.
Zhou Mi reaches for his hand. Their fingers tangle together, warm and familiar. He smiles at Kyuhyun in the dark, and it's not his usual face-splitting grin, but softer. Kyuhyun feels like he's in high school again. This isn't happening. He is not-
"I had a really good time with you today, Kyuhyun."
"Me too," Kyuhyun says. The air is so still. He could just, maybe if he stepped a little closer-
"Come again sometime," Zhou Mi says, words a rush. "The shop isn't very busy. Or - or, if your number is the same-"
"It is."
"-maybe we could have dinner together sometime? To catch up."
Kyuhyun has to purse his lips together really hard to keep from smiling too wide. "Why not both?"
"Both sounds great." Zhou Mi beams, and then pulls away, though he doesn't let go of Kyuhyun's hand for a moment. "I'll see you soon."
He lets Kyuhyun's hand fall from his grasp and walks around to the other side of his car, waving through the window once he's in. He's smiling all huge again.
"See you," Kyuhyun says as Zhou Mi eases away from the curb. He's left standing there for a while before he realizes he needs to go home, and as he walks he notices the tightness in his chest has loosened its grip a little. Kyuhyun breathes easy, and thinks about tomorrow.
~
Kyuhyun starts coming back every day after work instead of working overtime. Zhou Mi teaches him to temper chocolate and how to make taffy; Kyuhyun helps prepare whatever Zhou Mi needs for the next day. Orders are pouring in, it seems like - every day Zhou Mi has something new to make - and Zhou Mi promises he'll find time to take Kyuhyun to dinner soon, sometime soon.
"I should pay you," Zhou Mi says one evening, when they're pouring sugar into molds for a sculpture Zhou Mi's been asked to make. Kyuhyun doesn't flinch when he handles the sugar now, and he and Zhou Mi work quickly. "You're always helping me with my work."
"No, no," Kyuhyun says, "Don't. I like being here. It's not work for me."
"You sure?" Zhou Mi says. "I'll take you out to dinner, I promise. Soon. I just don't have time right now and-"
"Don't worry about it," Kyuhyun says. "I understand. I'm happy just being here."
Zhou Mi smiles. "Thank you, Kui Xian. I promise it'll happen. Just not now."
When Kyuhyun comes back the next afternoon, all the remaining pieces of the sculpture have set and Zhou Mi is beginning to assemble them. He sets Kyuhyun to work pulling sugar for a pink rose and they work in quiet for a while. Usually, they talk about Kyuhyun's work and what Zhou Mi has been doing since high school, which is a pretty complicated story, as it turns out; but today, Zhou Mi is focused on his work, making sure every piece of the sculpture is assembled perfectly.
Zhou Mi finishes the basic structure of the base and moves to start making rose petals while Kyuhyun starts pulling the green sugar for stems. It's still quiet, but Zhou Mi starts humming something familiar as he curls small petals around a blossom. Words of the West Wind, Kyuhyun remembers - Zhou Mi liked to sing it in high school. Kyuhyun chimes in with the words and Zhou Mi almost drops his work when he realizes he's been humming, but then he smiles and adds the harmony. It's been years since Kyuhyun sang, really sang, but by the time it's dark they're belting out the lyrics to Those Years, leaning into each other and laughing each time one of them makes a mistake. Kyuhyun has missed hearing the way Zhou Mi's voice blends with his, the way the notes hang still in the air when they sing the last words together and Kyuhyun's eyes linger on Zhou Mi's too long.
"I missed that," Zhou Mi says, sighing. "Singing with you. Singing like that."
"Me too," Kyuhyun says. "It's been forever."
"I thought you always wanted to be a singer. I have to admit, I was surprised when you told me you had an office job. I knew you weren't famous, but I thought you'd be in the industry, at least-"
"Well, dreams don't always work out," Kyuhyun says.
They're silent the rest of the night. Kyuhyun doesn't realize how tense his shoulders are until he straightens up from his work at closing time and feels how stiff he is.
"I'll see you tomorrow?" Zhou Mi says outside his car. He's watching Kyuhyun, biting his bottom lip.
"Yeah," Kyuhyun says, and Zhou Mi smiles. "See you tomorrow."
It's a long time Kyuhyun sleeps that night, and when he does, he dreams of the spotlight, of Siwon on the drums behind him, of Heechul on the guitar, and of Zhou Mi beside him, singing into the dark.
~
They fall back into step as easily as ever when Kyuhyun comes back the next day. It's like nothing ever happened. Zhou Mi sets Kyuhyun to work tempering chocolate for a wedding order, and halfway through Kyuhyun remembers his sister was going to call him sometime in the evening.
"I'll be right back," Kyuhyun says. "I need to check my phone."
When he opens the door to the back room, he stops and blinks a few times to make sure he's not hallucinating.
Instead of the familiar, cramped back room full of boxes, a street stretches out in front of him and the cars parked along it are half-buried in snow; slush lines the sidewalks and the wind that rushes through makes Kyuhyun shiver.
"Zhou Mi," he says slowly, "what day is it?"
"April seventh," Zhou Mi says, "why? And did you turn the fan on?" Kyuhyun hears Zhou Mi's footsteps behind him. "You know we have to be careful with the temp-" The footsteps stop. "Kui Xian?"
"I don't know what's happening."
"Am I seeing things, or-"
"I see it too," Kyuhyun says. "Do you think we should…"
"I'll get you a jacket," Zhou Mi says, and Kyuhyun listens to a cabinet in the front open and close before Zhou Mi is back, pressing a soft coat into his hands. "I packed these in a box by accident. Forgot to take them home."
Kyuhyun can see his breath. Snow is falling, and when he reaches out he can feel it land on his skin and melt, just like that. He looks over his shoulder at Zhou Mi, silhouetted against the spring light coming through the window behind him, and he hooks his arm through Zhou Mi's. "Ready?"
"Here we go," Zhou Mi says, and they step out onto the cold street, closing the wooden door behind them.
~
"I feel like I'm dreaming," Kyuhyun says. The door they'd stepped out of is, upon turning back, the entrance to a small convenience store, and it looks nothing like the street he walks down every day, but it still feels like he's been here before.
"Then we both are," Zhou Mi says, and bends down to pick up a newspaper half-buried by snow on the sidewalk. At the top, it reads, December 30, 1999. "1999? This- this is a prank, right? We're not eighteen anymore. This isn't 1999. Someone's going to jump out and wish me a happy early birthday and it'll be amazing because this is a really, really elaborately planned surprise party-"
"What if it's not?" Kyuhyun says, quiet. "What if it's real?"
"Are you in on this too?" Zhou Mi says, running his hands through his hair. "Because if you are, this is really mean, Kui Xian. You know, I always said - I always told myself - if I could come back to this year, this time, do it all over again, fix things-"
"I'm just as confused as you are, Mi, but," Kyuhyun says, "me too. This year, the end of it, it- it changed everything."
When Kyuhyun looks back at him, Zhou Mi seems to have lost the panic that had been in his eyes just a moment earlier; there are dark circles under his eyes that Kyuhyun hadn't noticed before, and for once Kyuhyun can see the years that have gone by in the fine wrinkles in the corners of Zhou Mi's eyes and mouth.
"You never told me why you did it," Zhou Mi says.
"I didn't have to."
"I have a right to know," Zhou Mi says, voice hard. "Don't you think?"
Kyuhyun turns away. "I don't want to talk about it."
"You're going to have to," Zhou Mi almost shouts, and the sound echoes. "You can't- you can't just come back into my life and think that everything's gonna be okay if we pretend like nothing ever happened, like you didn't break my heart or throw away all your dreams for a job I know you don't even enjoy - you always come in looking like you've been kicked a hundred times or someone stole your cake - and you, you can't expect things to be like this forever! We can't just not talk about things and expect-"
"Why not?" Kyuhyun says, glaring at the ground, fingers bunching up his sleeves to keep from shaking.
"This isn't right," Zhou Mi says. "The Kyuhyun I knew would throw anything away for his dreams. Would fight for it until the end, even if a million people were screaming at him to stop. The Kui Xian I knew-"
"And that's where you're wrong," Kyuhyun says. "Maybe you didn't know me as well as you thought."
There's a long pause. Then, quietly, Zhou Mi says, "Maybe I didn't," and before Kyuhyun can say anything else Zhou Mi is walking away, around the corner, and down the street until Kyuhyun can't see his long shadow beneath the street lights.
~
Once he's walked a few blocks, Kyuhyun starts noticing familiar stores - Mr. Seo's barber shop down the street, and the bakery around the corner, restaurants he's been to - this is Nowon, Kyuhyun's hometown. It's getting dark out so Kyuhyun stops in at a motel he remembers, but no one looks up as he enters.
"Hello," he says. The woman at the front desk shuffles around, organizing keys. "Excuse me." No luck. He walks up to the woman and taps her shoulder; she jumps and screens, but when she turns she's looking right through him.
"I swear," the woman fusses, "I'm going crazy."
This really must be a dream. Or a nightmare. He's invisible, he's all alone here, and who knows where Zhou Mi went - but maybe that's something he shouldn't think about right now anyway. When the woman disappears down the hall, calling for someone, Kyuhyun grabs a key and heads up the stairs.
The exhaustion finally hits when Kyuhyun buries himself under an unoccupied room's clean sheets. The bed feels like there must be a piece of cardboard underneath him instead of a mattress, but the blankets are warm. Just as his eyelids begun to fall heavy over his eyes, Kyuhyun realizes he's still wearing Zhou Mi's jacket. It smiles like him, and it smells like the shop - melted sugar and sweet citrus and Zhou Mi - but he doesn't bother taking it off, just lets himself fall into the smell and into the dark.
When he wakes up, it's noon. There's no way this could be a dream now, but if they're both here and it's New Year's Eve, the day Kyuhyun broke up with Zhou Mi - it's clear what they're meant to do. But if he's going to change things, he has to find Zhou Mi first.
There's no one in Zhou Mi's old apartment, and he's not at the restaurant they used to frequent; Kyuhyun checks the park, the bakery, the cafe - nothing. It's getting dark. The convenience store doesn't lead back to 2009, Kyuhyun realizes once he pushes open the door. It's just a convenience store. But he spots someone tall and familiar in the back aisle.
"Zhou Mi!" Zhou Mi turns around and starts to grin, but it fades as quickly as it came and Kyuhyun feels like something's squeezing his chest tight, wants to say so much but Zhou Mi is standing there with his wide eyes and perfect skin and his hair is a mess and all that comes out of Kyuhyun's mouth is "Imissedyousomuch."
"Sorry?" Zhou Mi says, and Kyuhyun pauses halfway through panicking about what he's just said and exhales. This happens all the time, when Kyuhyun speaks too quickly for Zhou Mi to pick up.
"I just," Kyuhyun says, feeling breathless, "I have a lot to tell you."
Zhou Mi gestures to the shelf of instant ramen beside him. "Let's have dinner. Then we can talk."
~
"So if we can't be seen or heard," Zhou Mi says, fishing for the last of his noodles in his cup, "then how are we supposed to get our past selves back together?"
Kyuhyun has to think about that for a moment. "Maybe if we shove them together hard enough past-me will change my mind."
Zhou Mi laughs a little at first, but then his eyes light up. "What if we leave a note? Like, 'don't do it, you'll regret it and get sent back in time ten years from now to stop yourself'?"
Kyuhyun grins. "Perfect."
There's a pad of paper by the cash register and a capless pen on the ground. Zhou Mi pushes them into his pocket and they leave through the glass door to the convenience store, heading for Kyuhyun's house.
The spare key is still in the potted plant by the door, like Kyuhyun remembers; the trophy case that greets them at the front door is just like the one in Kyuhyun's present-day home, but here the math and singing competition trophies look a little brighter, less dusty.
"It feels like we're coming back from school," Zhou Mi says. "Just another day."
Kyuhyun pauses, turns and meets his eyes. "Do you miss it?"
Zhou Mi looks back at him. "All the time."
"Me too," Kyuhyun says.
Then, there's Kyuhyun's voice again - but from somewhere else. "Mom! Have you seen my shoes?"
"Time to go," Kyuhyun says, and they make their way to Kyuhyun's room down the hall, slipping through the gap where past-Kyuhyun has left it open.
There he is. Stick-skinny, pale like Kyuhyun still is, acne scattered over his cheeks, face angular, hair a mess. And so, so young. "Mom, I'm already late!"
"The note," Zhou Mi says. "Before he puts the jacket on!"
Kyuhyun fumbles for the slip of paper in his pocket and reaches for the jacket - only for his younger self to snatch it up and put it on before leaving the room. "Should I follow-"
"Yes!"
His younger self has found the shoes, and Kyuhyun reaches to slip the note into his open jacket pocket - but Past-Kyu backs up and into Kyuhyun's hand.
"What was that?" Kyu says, frowning, and Kyuhyun jumps back.
"What do we do?" Kyuhyun says.
"I don't know," Zhou Mi says. "Drop it in front of him as he walks?"
Kyu doesn't notice the slip of paper when it flutters down to the ground in front of his feet; instead, he walks right over it. When they try it again outside, he looks down, but ignores it. Every time.
After Kyu enters Henry's house, Zhou Mi sits down on a dry spot of the curb and sighs. "We can't keep doing this if it won't work. But it's not like we can just shove them into each other and expect things to work out fine, either."
"Let's just try it one more time," Kyuhyun says. "Come on."
Inside, they find their past selves together in the crowd. Kyu keeps looking at young Zhou Mi, then looking away, biting his lip and keeping a bit of a distance between them. Kyuhyun remembers that. And when past-Mi grabs his arm, Kyu's still stiff, lets Mi drag him away, but looks at him with sad eyes the whole time.
"How did I not realize?" the Zhou Mi beside Kyuhyun says. There's a small frown on his lips as he watches the them together, Mi in his tight t-shirt and brightly colored skinny jeans celebrating, Kyu beside him fidgeting. "The way you were looking at me - why didn't I notice?"
"I can't believe I was so obvious," Kyuhyun says. He doesn't feel like trying to stop it anymore. It feels inevitable now - it feels like it's already too late.
"I want to ask again," Zhou Mi says. "Why'd you do it?"
Just then, their younger selves head outside. Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi follow.
It's snowing. In front of them, Kyu says, "Can you believe it? This is it. The end of a century."
"I did it because I was scared," Kyuhyun says. Zhou Mi tears his eyes away from their past selves in front of them to look back at Kyuhyun, eyes searching. "I - I never told you, but I applied to Yonsei as an accounting major. That's why I chose it over the performing arts schools I got into, not because the others were expensive - because I gave up."
"We'll make it work," comes Mi's voice from ahead of them.
"And you," Kyuhyun continues as their younger selves turn back, "you had big dreams - putting out an album, opening a bakery or a candy store, going to culinary school… I was so scared that if I ever told you, you'd do the same thing I did. That you'd think the only way to be successful was to do what was practical."
"There's still time left," Mi says.
"But why did you give up?" Zhou Mi says.
"My parents. They kept saying I'd never make it as a singer, and I was good at math anyways, so why not do what I knew could make me a living? And I guess it got to me. But you were different, you know? I knew you could do it. And you did."
"I wish you'd just told me," Zhou Mi says. "I wouldn't have given up."
"I wish I had, too," Kyuhyun says, and pulls Zhou Mi into the house.
They walk into the living room. Everyone is gathered around the TV in the center; someone turns the music off. "It's almost time for the countdown," someone says.
"You know, I don't think we're here to change the past," Kyuhyun says, turning to face Zhou Mi. "I think… we're here to change the future."
The numbers flash big on the television screen. Ten, nine, eight...
"What do you mean?" Zhou Mi says. Seven, six, five.
Kyuhyun steps closer, barely breathing, hands shaking. Four, three, two. "This," he says, and presses his lips to Zhou Mi's as the room explodes in cheers.
~
They leave the party after that, walking through the streets hand in hand until they reach the same convenience store they'd come out of. Now, the door isn't clear glass - it's wooden, and when they push it open they're met with the smell of melted sugar and chocolate.
"Oh my god," Zhou Mi says, "we're back. We're really back."
"What day is it?" Kyuhyun says. It's evening out, just as it was when they'd left; Zhou Mi shoots one last look out the door to the past before he pushes it shut, and pulls it back open. Behind it, once again, there are stacks and stacks of boxes. Just like before. He finds his phone and hands Kyuhyun's to him, too. The screen reads, April 7, 2009. He has a missed call from Ahra, just five minutes ago.
"Is my phone broken?" Zhou Mi says.
"Mine must be, too. That's- it can't be-"
"The same day," Zhou Mi says. "How?"
"Who knows?" Kyuhyun says. "Maybe we were hallucinating."
Zhou Mi grins. "If we were hallucinating, at least we were hallucinating together."
"Oh my god," Kyuhyun says, groaning. "I forgot how cheesy you were. I can't even look at you right now."
"How about what you did back at the party?" Zhou Mi shoots back. "That was straight out of some awful romantic comedy."
"You are straight out of some awful romantic comedy," Kyuhyun says, and Zhou Mi just laughs and kisses him.
"I'll take that as a compliment."
~
Singing is the career he should have pursued all along, Kyuhyun thinks for the millionth time that night. The moment he'd stepped onto a stage again and felt the heat of the spotlight, so familiar, so right, he knew. There is no tightness in his chest, no stiffness in his limbs, and every time he looks out into the crowd and sees people watching him, smiling at him, he can't help but smile back.
His parents weren't happy at first. Of course they weren't. Kyuhyun had left his job and started working part-time at Zhou Mi's store, taking whatever shifts Ryeowook couldn't, and when he was free he went looking - in coffee shops, restaurants, clubs, anywhere that might want a singer, anywhere he could perform. His parents had thought he'd gone crazy, but it's been a year and now, at least, they don't call so much to make sure he still has money, and they even come to see his shows sometimes - he has performances a few nights a week at a local cafe, and the pay isn't too bad. He still helps out at the store sometimes, but since he and Zhou Mi live together now anyway, he doesn't let Zhou Mi pay him for it; instead, he drags Zhou Mi out to busk with him downtown. Zhou Mi always grins so wide when they start to gather a crowd, just like he does when he's finished a sculpture or made a perfect batch of truffles.
It's his last show for the week tonight. He sings Smile, Drunken Truth, and Seven Years of Love; it's only later, during New Endless Love, that he meets Zhou Mi's eyes in the audience and tries not to smile as he sings, "缘难了，情难了。“ It is difficult to escape fate, just as it is difficult to dissolve love.
"I didn't know you were coming," Kyuhyun says afterwards, the leftover adrenaline still keeping him breathless. "I would have, I dunno, dedicated something to you."
"Always so sweet," Zhou Mi says, grinning, and takes a step towards Kyuhyun just as someone says, "Excuse me."
Kyuhyun turns to see a man in a suit standing to his left. "Can I help you with something?"
"I'm from Millenium Records," the man says. "My colleagues and I have visited a few times during your shift. Are you currently signed to a label?"
Kyuhyun fights to keep the smile off of his face, and loses. "No, I- I'm not."
"We'd love to sign you," the man says. "We think you could be big, Kyuhyun-ssi, big. A solo album to start, and then-"
"Do you think," Kyuhyun says, "that maybe I could do a few duets?"
"Even better. Do you have someone in mind?"
Kyuhyun grins and glances over at Zhou Mi. "I know just the guy."
Poll