Round 4: Exhausted
Title: Exhausted
Team: AU
Rating:PG
Fandom: BTS
Pairing: Yoongi/Jimin
Summary: Yoongi's life consists of work, more work, and his light at the end of the tunnel, Jimin. But sometimes, things just don't work out.
Prompt Used: Yoon Jongshin- Exhausted
Yoongi is drowning in papers. Papers upon papers upon papers of unfinished work. Receipts to be copied, drafts to be proofread, business plans to finish, things that were printed that needed to be re-typed for whatever trivial reason. It was only 10:45 am and he was already completely and utterly exhausted.
His left leg was bouncing from restlessness. His hand were already cramping from all the typing. He already couldn't help but yawn and plan a quick coffee break at 11:00 in his head.
The smell of printer toner was giving him a goddamn headache. The faint yet amplified sounds of an unattended phone ringing and of 100 copies being made in the copy room across from his desk and of the Department head yelling at some schmuck in the cubical colony next door were giving him a goddamn headache.
But this was his life. The life he went to college for 5 years to obtain. The life of an average, middle class worker bee at an average company where the only things to look forward to were slight raises and slight promotions from worker to manager to senior manager.
It's not like he really has room to complain, though. Especially when there are so many people out of work these days. He's got a stable job, a stable source of income, and overall, a stable life and that's more than a lot of people have.
So he swallows his pride hard and continues on his straight, endless path to something a little more than the mediocre title of "worker".
"You logged this wrong, Min. Redo it and have a new print out on my desk ASAP."
Senior manager Kim Namjoon, Yoongi's team leader, drops a thick packet of about five pages on Yoongi's desk as he walks passed to his own.
Yoongi feels a thick scowl crawling across his face as he picks up the packet and looks it over. It's an inventory log of every sample in the storage closet. And it is indeed wrong. Rather than the company's standard format of three columns, there's only two and the items are organized in alphabetical order rather than by material and size like they're supposed to be. But there is another glaring problem here. Yoongi didn't do it.
"Excuse me, Senior Manager Kim, but I didn't type this in the first place. Kim Taehyung-ssi did."
Yoongi glances over his back where Taehyung's work space is, facing the opposite direction. He can see Taehyung's back stiffen and hears his typing come to an abrupt stop.
Kim Namjoon turns around and looks at Yoongi.
"Well clearly Kim Taehyung-ssi doesn't know how to do it properly. So either teach him, as his sunbae, or get it done yourself," Namjoon says, his tone sharp, voice raised a little higher than it should be, which garners glances from a few other workers nearby.
Namjoon briskly turns and walks to his desk.
"I'm sorry Min-ssi, I'll redo-" Taehyung starts, standing from his chair and bowing his head.
But Yoongi just takes a deep breath and cuts Taehyung off.
"I'll just do it myself. I don't have time to teach you something you should know from the company manual, you punk."
Yoongi sees Taehyung bowing again out of the corner of his eye as he takes a moment to scowl in the direction of Namjoon's desk.
This is going to be a freakin' long day.
✘
Yoongi watches as 11:00 am comes and goes and he just decides to save his coffee break for lunch because he's just finished fixing Taehyung's mistake and he still has just as much work as he did twenty minutes ago.
Yoongi suddenly hears his phone buzzing on his desk and quickly grabs it.
From: Jimin <3
[10:45] Hope you're having a great day at work!
[10:45] Soon to be Manager Min hwaiting!!! (~>3<)~
[10:46] I'll make jajangmyun tonight~
Yoongi can't help but let a smile crack across his face as he reads the messages.
The only thing that makes Yoongi's long days feel a little shorter and more worth it is Park Jimin.
The love of his life, Park Jimin.
4 years ago they'd met in a tiny gallery where they both had their artwork on display, Yoongi's was a black and white photograph and Jimin's was an abstract painting.
It hadn't taken long for them to fall completely and utterly in love with each other. Just a few dates in a rundown coffee shop and a few more blazing hot summer afternoons on a park bench, and that was it.
They're still going strong, living together and everything. Jimin still dabbles in painting, hoping to make a big break into the art scene eventually and Yoongi settles for his 8 to 6 job that requires much more overtime than it's worth. Much more.
"Min Yoongi, you don't get paid to sit around on your phone all day, do you?"
Yoongi jumps a bit and quickly sets his phone down.
He bows his head slightly in the direction of Senior Manager Kim's desk and goes back to work, his classic scowl making a reappearance.
✘
"You want to go drinking with me and some of the guys tonight, Min Yoongi-ssi?"
Yoongi was sitting at one of the tables in the break room eating his lunch, hand packed by Jimin. Though it was just the leftover omurice they had eaten the night before, Yoongi highly appreciates the sentiment. He can't be bothered to walk all the way down to the cafeteria to eat, so be often finds himself scarfing down his food in the breakdown. But of course he can't escape Kim Taehyung, the annoying little bug constantly buzzing in his ear.
"I can't, Jimin's making my favorite dish tonight," Yoongi deadpans, avoiding eye contact with the man sitting across from him.
"That's always your excuse," Taehyung says, almost in a whine.
Yoongi scoffs. He finds it funny that Taehyung can't take the hint that Yoongi really doesn't want to hang out with him or the guys.
Taehyung pouts and takes a drink of his most likely lukewarm coffee.
"What's this Jimin look like, anyway? I can't really imagine anyone who would fawn over a grumpy old man like you so much," Taehyung says, teasingly but slightly seriously.
Yoongi internally rolls his eyes and stuffs large spoonful of the omurice down his throat. He figures if he just simply gives Taehyung what he want, the younger will shut up and leave him alone faster.
He pulls his phone out of his pants pocket and turned on the lock screen, which was a picture of him and Jimin from the day they moved together, with wide smiles and bright eyes, and Yoongi looking a thousand years younger than he did now, even though it wasn't all that long ago.
He wasn't really sure what Taehyung's reaction would be, maybe it would scare the guy off, if anything, which he wouldn't really mind all that much. But Yoongi didn't really care what other people thought about it. He wasn't ashamed of it.
Yoongi slid his phone across the table to Taehyung and went back to eating his food.
Taehyung picked up the phone and looked at it for a good minute. He had a blank expression, not really shocked or disgusted, just blank.
"Oh, it's like that," Taehyung said, almost to himself. He handed Yoongi his phone back, took a sip of coffee and continued, "you guys make a cute couple."
Yoongi felt his mouth twitch a bit, wanting to smile. Taehyung was being thoughtful, being careful. Trying to avoid choosing the wrong words, trying to avoid offending. Yoongi couldn't deny that he appreciated it.
"Thanks," Yoongi mumbled finishing his last bite and getting up to leave.
Yoongi glanced at Taehyung's goofy grin before leaving. Maybe he didn't hate the guy all that much after all.
✘
"Min, come to my desk for a second.”
Yoongi’s brows furrowed subconsciously at Senior Manager Kim’s sudden beckon. Glancing at the tiny clock on his computer screen he sighed because it was nearing 3:00pm and he still had so much left to finish.
Sliding out of his chair and walking the two foot distance to his boss’s desk, Yoongi did his best from letting the annoyance that was trying to crawl across his face show.
“Yes, sir?”
He cursed himself internally for the irritated undertone that was all too clear in his voice.
Team Leader Kim was swirling around in his chair with his hand gripping the armrests. He continued to make two more full spins before stopping and acknowledging Yoongi’s presence.
“So.” Kim Namjoon started before averting his attention to his computer screen and clicking around for over forty seconds (Yoongi counted).
With each second that passed Yoongi felt himself becoming more and more aggravated.
Nonchalantly, Kim Namjoon’s gaze slid off the computer screen and to Yoongi. He was looking over his black rimmed glasses that Yoongi though completely didn’t fit his face. They were too big and slipped down Kim Namjoon’s flattish nose all too easily.
“So, I hear you’re living with someone these days? Jimin is it?”
Yoongi felt his eyes narrow and the corner of his upper lip scrunch into a scowl. This was what Kim Namjoon had called him over for? THIS is what Kim Namjoon was wasting his time on? And why did he want to know about Yoongi’s personal life now, all of the sudden?
“I’ve always been living with Jimin,” Yoongi says coolly. Well, more coldly than coolly.
Kim Namjoon is the last person in the whole damn company that Yoongi wants to be “casually chatting” with.
“Huh, I guess I haven’t be paying all that much attention to you, have I?”
Namjoon begins chuckling and Yoongi feel like that was meant to be spiteful, though he doesn’t really feel offended in anyway because it’s not like he wants the likes of Kim Namjoon paying any sort of boundary crossing attention to him.
Namjoon is looking at his computer screen again and clicking around. From Yoongi’s point of view it honestly doesn’t look like he’s doing anything productive.
“This Jimin. Is she a roommate? A significant other maybe?”
Namjoon has this weird sly look on his face. It’s almost trying to portray a ‘wink wink’ type of expression but Namjoon has twisted such a simple face into some weird, shit eating grin. Yoongi wondered if Namjoon would still make that face if he saw himself in the mirror.
“He is my significant other,” Yoongi says, almost emotionless.
In retrospect, maybe he shouldn’t have said it so simply and easily, like there was nothing wrong with it, like it was normal. Of course it was normal to him, but Kim Namjoon isn’t someone Yoongi should be telling this like this too. Yoongi isn’t ashamed, of course. There’s no way he could be ashamed. But there’s a slight pang in the back of his head as he lets the words “he” and “significant other” slip out of his mouth in the same sentence. He doesn’t really care if his weid ass team leader’s opinion of him changes or not. But maybe he should.
Namjoon’s clicking ceases and as if following a snake, his eyes slither off of the computer screen and up to Yoongi’s face. He’s looking Yoongi in the eyes, and it’s uncomfortable to have such a gaze on him.
“He?” Namjoon, questions, not sure if he’s heard quite right.
“Yes, he,” Yoongi replies coolly, skipping over the chance to take it all back. Not even quite recognizing the chance to take it all back.
“He…” Namjoon repeats again, returning his gaze to the computer screen but not clicking, “I really guess I haven’t paid much attention to you, Min Yoongi-ssi.”
Yoongi can tell the difference in Namjoon’s tone as he says this. It’s slight, but he can tell. This reaction isn’t as careful and open minded as Taehyung’s. This reaction is full of pondering, yet still a clear undertone of distaste.
“Get back to work, Min. I’m sure you don’t want to be here too late.”
Yoongi bows his head slightly, turns on his heels and returns to his desk. He takes in that not many people are at their desks at this time, probably in breaks or at meetings. He sighs to himself and glances briefly at Namjoon’s desk which is directly two feet to his right. Maybe he should have kept his mouth shut. Or maybe not.
✘
“Hey there.”
Yoongi walks into his apartment at exactly 9:00pm and is greeted by a warm, smiling Jimin sitting at the kitchen table, cutting out coupons from the paper with the tv on the news station in the background.
Yoongi drops his brief case on the ground and begins sliding off his suit jacket.
“Don’t you look like the perfect little house wife,” Yoongi comments, stepping out of his shoes and onto the tiny rise in the floor from the shoe storage area.
“I try,” Jimin replies with a slight smile, “your dinner’s in the top shelf of the fridge. Sorry I made it so early. I didn’t expect you to be this late.”
Jimin doesn’t look up from the coupons as Yoongi walks over and ruffles the hair on Jimin’s head affectionately.
“No, I’m sorry for being late.”
Yoongi almost wants to laugh because he feels like they have a similar conversation every day. Whether Yoongi comes home at 10:00 pm or 8:00 pm, he’s always saying sorry and he’s always heating up swollen noodles. But he doesn’t mind, really. Jimin tries and Yoongi appreciates it and that’s what makes them work. They never truly get mad at each other because they fully understand each other.
As Yoongi heats up his food he watches Jimin place the cut coupons in a plastic bag.
“Once I get a promotion and a salary raise, you won’t have to do that anymore.”
Jimin looks at him with the homiest smile and Yoongi just about melts into a puddle of pure passion, love, and happiness.
“But I like doing it, it gets boring staying around here all day. Plus, I want to feel like I’m actually doing something useful and productive while I wait for my working man to get home.”
Yoongi hears the microwave beep but he ignores it and walks over to Jimin. In one swift motion he gently pulls Jimin out of his seat and into a tight embrace.
“Just you being here is useful, Jimin. I appreciate just you being here,” Yoongi mumbles into Jimin’s shoulder.
They hug for about 3 minutes as the microwave continuously beeps in the background and once they pull apart, all they can do is smile at each other.
“I love you, you know,” Yoongi says.
“I know,” Jimin beams, making Yoongi playfully punch him in the arm.
They don’t really say much for the rest of the night. Yoongi eats and then gets ready for bed and Jimin watches his favorite drama with a face mask on.
But without saying anything, they know they’re still just as in love as they were when they first met. Though now there’s so many more things getting in their way, trying to break them down, they know they won’t budge because just waking up next to each other each morning is the best feeling in the whole world.
✘
Yoongi doesn’t eat breakfast the next morning because Jimin is in one of his creative bouts and is too busy painting to do much more than say his standard “good morning”.
“I love you, too”, and “have a good day at work.”
But Yoongi doesn’t mind the skipped breakfast all that much. Because he has left over jajungmyun that he’ll probably end up eating cold packed away for lunch. He has a feeling that today is going to be a good day as he finds a good seat on the bus and catches the elevator in his building just before it closes, saving him a 5 minute wait in the office’s front lobby.
But as Yoongi steps out of the elevator and onto the 8th floor, he feels almost as everything is in slow motion as he sees multiple co-workers standing by the bulletin board chatting, glancing at him when they realize he’s arrived.
He doesn’t know exactly what he expect when he walks up to the bulletin board, seeing the clump of people move a side or walk away as he approaches.
But what he doesn’t expect to see is what he actually sees. On a piece of white printer paper under the neat header “promoted” he sees the word “Manager Kim Taehyung”.
Kim Taehyung was promoted. That bastard Kim Taehyung that Yoongi was always cleaning up after was promoted.
✘
"Why didn't I get the promotion, senior manager Kim?"
To Yoongi, angry was an understatement. He was literally seething as he briskly walked right up to Team Leader Kim Namjoon's desk in a fury, steam swirling around in his brain, threatening to seep out his ears. Kim Namjoon, the person who wrote the performance report and recommendations that qualified anyone is his team for a promotion. Kim Namjoon who handed what was rightfully Yoongi's to Taehyung.
Manager Kim eyed him for a moment, took in the fists he had balled up at his side, took in his furrowed brow, the tie crooked from the trek over.
Yoongi couldn't place the look on the Manager's face at first, but then he realized it was pity. Yoongi was pitiful in his eyes and it felt like a punch in the gut.
"You and Taehyung had similar performance records. It was close, but in the end I had to choose one of you. Taehyung just seemed like a slightly better choice," Namjoon said with an almost smug look on his face, leaning back in his wheelie chair, hands folded over his stomach.
"Is that a joke?" Yoongi nearly spat.
"Do I look like a comedian?" Namjoon said, voice laced with spite.
“No, but you look like a clown,” Yoong wanted to say, but he didn’t. He didn’t think giving a witty comment was worth being fired over.
Namjoon looked at Yoongi for a long moment. Yoongi felt himself becoming more infuriate with each second that passed with that cold stare chilling his very bones. Namjoon had never looked at Yoongi with such distaste before. It was a known fact that they didn’t have the best relationship but Namjoon was looking a Yoongi like he was his worst enemy or something.
“Fine, Min. Do you want to know the truth?” Namjoon finally spoke, a little louder than he needed to.
Yoongi notices that the sudden raised voiced had gathered the attention of a few of the other office workers around. Because they had short cubicles that everyone could see over, scenes like this never went unnoticed.
Yoongi swallows the lump in his throat and nodded his head. It was taking every ounce of strength in his body not to yell or curse at Namjoon. It was taking so much strength to just stand there and take it like a man (for lack of a better term).
“Taehyung is married. He has a child. I’m sure he could benefit more from a raise than you could with your little man whore,” Namjoon all but spat.
His voice was laced with pure hatred and each word hit Yoongi a little more than the last.
“Look, I wasn’t going to say anything, Min. You have every right to make the life choices you want. But you think you have the right to come over here and whine to me about something that happened because of disgusting way you live your life? Please.”
Namjoon wasn’t even looking at Yoongi anymore. He was signing papers or something as if to say “you’re not even worth my full attention”. Everyone in the office was watching now. They all got what was happening. They all ate it up and Yoongi knew he would be the hot topic of office gossip fr the rest of the month. And to be perfectly honest, he could care less about any of that. Jimin didn’t deserve to be talked about like he was nothing just because of his sexual orientation. And neither did Yoongi.
“Sir, do you think I wouldn’t be married right now if it wasn’t for society’s view of my relationship? If it wasn’t for our parent’s view of our relationship? I’ve been in a serious relationship with the person I love for four years. We live together, we are faithful to each other, and we have even talked about adopting a child in the future. When I fell in Love with Park Jimin, I didn’t see him as a man. I saw him as a person I wanted to spend my time with. A person, a human fucking being. Are we any less human simply because we love each other? No. You made a terrible decision, sir. You took something from someone who deserved it and gave it to someone much less qualified. You―”
Yoongi felt tears spilling down his cheeks. Why was he crying? Because this wasn’t the first instance he was looked at differently, treated differently, because of his love. But this was the first time he was sticking up for himself, and for Jimin and for everything he believed in. It had all been bubbling up over the years and Yoongi was finally letting it spill.
Namjoon’s eyes were a bit wide at the outburst. After a few moments he took off his glasses and set them on his desk.
“Min Yoongi-ssi, you’re fired. Please get out of my sight.”
Yoongi felt as if an earthqake was shaking the ground beneath him. He heard some of his co-workers gasp….. But he didn’t fight back. It wasn’t worth it.
He turned around, tears still dampening his cheeks. He saw Taehyung standing by his desk with three cups of coffee. Taehyung was looking down. He looked like he was going to throw up and Yoongi subconsciously wished he would so that he could have a taste of the bile that Yoongi was tasting in that moment.
Yoongi wondered briefly if Namjoon even had the authority to fire workers on the spot like that. But he didn’t care. He just needed to get out of there. To get away from the open stares, most more shocked that hateful.
He walked passed them all without even a backwards glance.
✘
As Yoongi walks down the street with red eyes and a dried, tear stained face, complete and utter regret seeps from his core and washes over him in waves. What exactly were they going to do now? Yoongi was the only source of income for the two of them, him and Jimin, and now he had lost one of the most stable things besides Jimin in his life.
The promises he had made to Jimin started to swirl around his head in a thick mist, clouding his vision.
Once I get promoted, we can travel Europe for vacation like you always wanted to. We can visit all those fancy museums and everything.
Once I get a promotion and a salary raise, you won’t have to do that anymore.
He’d said these things more times than he could count and each time Jimin had smiled so brightly it was almost blinding. That smile full of dreams of the future, full of happiness at such promises.
Yoongi felt the remorse gnaw at his stomach. Maybe he should have just held his tongue. Just for once.
The sun felt hotter than usually as he continued to walk not really knowing where he was headed. Sweat began to mix with the dried, salty stains on his face and he felt itchy all over.
He hears his phone vibrating in his suit pocket.
From: Jimin <3
[9:00] what do you want for dinner tonight?^^
It kind of really hurts. And Yoongi feels like a piece of shit as he closes his phone and heads to a nearby bar that’s open.
From: Jimin <3
[10:30] You must be busy. Keep working hard! Fighting!!!
Three empty glasses of beer turns into six and Yoongi isn’t sure what reality even is anymore. His mind is swirling with so many thoughts and emotions and he can’t bring himself to answer Jimin’s texts, to even bring Jimin into his mind for more than a few seconds.
From: Jimin <3
[11:00] Sorry if I’m annoying you, but could you please text me back? I’ve got to know what you want tonight so I can buy the groceries~
From: Jimin <3
[12:26] Yoongs, did something happen…?
From: Jimin <3
[2:00] ????
From: Jimin <3
[9:00] Yoongi, I’m worried! Please text me or call me or something. Anything…
From: Jimin <3
[9:30] Please, I’ve got to know what’s going on
Yoongi wakes up with his head pounding, to someone tapping on his shoulder harshly. It’s a worker in the bar who tells him its closing time and he has to leave. And so Yoongi leaves, realizing it’s gotten late, he’s stayed in that bar, passed out for the entire day.
It doesn’t take long to hail a cab. It doesn’t take long for him to break down in tears once he’s in that cab.
He’s an emotional wreck.
✘
Yoongi stumbles down the hall towards his apartment.
His vision is blurry, and he can barely stand straight and the only coherent thought floatin through his head is that Jimin will probably be mad at him.
He tries to read the numbers plastered on each door, but he can’t focus his eyes enough to see anything but the first number, which is a 2 on every door on this floor.
But he somehow makes it to their door anyway.
Because he sees the pink welcome mat in front of the door that he and Jimin had brought at a thrift store when Jimin first moves in.
The site of that mat at a moment like this when Yoongi’s ears are buzz and emotions are swirling around in a mess of solid, gas, and liquid in his chest, brings Yoongi back to his senses for a moment.
He remembers everything for just a moment, feels tears prickling his eyes because he wishes alcohol didn’t make everything a hundred times worst when it’s supposed to help you forget those things.
He stands in front of his door for a moment, looking down at the mat with the words “welcome home” in blue embroidered across it.
He doesn’t know how long he stands there looking at the mat for, but it feels like an eternity.
Jimin’s smiling face materializes in Yoongi’s head for a few seconds and Yoongi sighs, knowing he can’t just stand there forever.
He feels a wave come over him as he reaches for the keys in his suit pocket. He feels bile sting the back of his throat and he swallows hard, doing everything in his power to keep the vomit threatening to trickle out of his esophagus down.
He fiddles with his keys for a moment, vision suddenly zooming in and out, blurring and focusing, and he feels like he might pass out.
Yoongi flips through the ring of keys, seeing everything but his apartment keys. He sees the keys to his desk drawer, the keys to his department’s confidential file cabinet, he sees the keys to the sample closet on the 5th floor and then it actually kind of hits him like a truck that these things aren’t his anymore. None of these things are his anymore.
Tears start welling up again and he’d feel like an idiot right now if he wasn’t drunk out of his mind. He rests his head on the door and begins clumsily sliding the un-needed keys of the metal ring and dropping them on the carpet.
It’s a cleansing ritual, he pretends, knowing full well that he’s really just acting like an emotional ex-girlfriend after a break up.
He still can’t figure out which one is his apartment key and the pure acid burning his throat and the tears causing his nasal cavity to sting and his eyes to water is making him noxious. He begins banging his head on the door, subconsciously almost. He’s numb to the dull pain rattling his skull and his emotions begin to spill over as the tears finally paint his cheeks and sobs start escaping his mouth.
His hand are shaking and his vision is so blurry that he can’t see anything. And he almost thinks he’s hallucinating when he hears a light switch flick on over the rhythmic thud of his skull hitting wood. He thinks he’s hallucinating as he hears the lock click and feels the door basically ripped from under him.
But he hits reality like a brick wall when he stumbles forward into Jimin’s arms.
“Yoongi what’s- what’s going on? Have you been drinking,” Jimin says, confused, but not angry.
He reaches around Yoongi and closes the door with one arm still wrapped around the sobbing man who’s sobbing gets louder at the realization the Jimin isn’t mad. Is’t mad about the text, or the blown off dinner plan, or the late arrival. Jimin isn’t mad.
“Jesus, I was so worried. What’s wrong with you? Are you hurt or something?”
Jimin’s voice fills with a sudden panic when he realizes that Yoongi isn’t just being a drunk bastard, but something is actually wrong.
He pulls Yoongi further into the apartment, help pull Yoongi’s shaking legs over the small incline in the floor separating the shoe storage area from the kitchen.
Yoongi keeps sobbing into Jimin’s oversized sweatshirt all the way.
“Yoongi what happened? Please, just tell me baby.”
They’re in the middle of the dark kitchen when Jimin says this, pulling Yoongi’s head back, away from his chest, so he can get a clear look at his face. At his bloodshot, unfocused eyes and runny nose.
“I-I’m sorry,” is Yoongi’s reply.
Jimin’s concerned face is all too endearing.
“Yoongi...”
“I-I-I lost my job, Jimin, I-I-I was fired.”
Yoongi is a blubbering mess. He can’t think straight, speak straight, or see straight, but he clearly sees Jimin’s eyes widen for a second. But Jimin doesn’t look angry, or even upset in particular, he just looks more concerned.
“It’s okay, baby, it’s okay,” Jimin coos quietly, pulling Yoongi back into a tight embrace.
The complete and utter warmth of Jimin’s arms around him, the smell of the cheap soap they share on Jimin’s skin, the gentle rub of Jimin’s hand over the back of Yoongi’s head for comfort, makes the nausea come back at full force.
Because even if Jimin isn’t angry at him, Yoongi’s angry at himself and he knows that no matter what Jimin says or how wide Jimin smiles, he’s let Jimin down.
And it makes him feel so sick that he feels it all, the alchohol, the emotions, the everything, rises in his stomach.
He rips himself out of Jimin’s hold and runs, stumbles, crawls to the bathroom. He doesn’t even turn the light on. Just quickly makes his way to the toilet, cover and seat already lifted, and vomits.
His throat burns and his head begins to ache as he feels the first round spew from his open mouth, splashing into the toilet water. The second round comes on even quicker, not even giving him a moment to catch his breath as he feels everything he’d eaten all day shoot out of the depths of his stomach and slide up his esophagus and out of his mouth.
Jimin is there for the third round. He slips into the bathroom and turns on the lights. The sudden brightness burns Yoongi’s eyes, but it doesn’t matter much because his eyes are closed anyway, and they’re already burning from the sting in his throat.
Jimin’s hand is on his back for the fourth round. Patting lightly, rubbing circles. Yoongi feels almost pathetic to show this side to the person who’s only seen him at his best. He actually feels really pathetic.
The fifth round is the last, there’s nothing left in his stomach to throw up, and a bit of stomach acid dribbles out of his mouth after a dry heave.
“Need water?” Jimin says, one hand on Yoongi’s back, the other pushing Yoongi’s bangs, matted with sweat, out of his face.
Yoongi nods and wonders if he even deserves someone like Jimin in his life.
Yoongi crawls away from the toilet and sits with his back against the cold tiled wall of the bathroom. He need some kind of support or else he feels like he’ll become a puddle of jelly.
“I can’t believe those jerks would fire you. Total assholes,” Jimin says, re-entering the bathroom and places a tall glass of water next to Yoongi.
He also places himself next to Yoongi.
Yoongi doesn’t want to say why he got fired, and Jimin doesn’t ask. They sit for next to each other for a while and Yoongi vaguely wonders what time it is. His eyes feel heavy and he knows Jimin is probably tired to.
“I could get a job, maybe,” Jimin says quietly after a while.
Yoongi takes longer than he should to process the words and even then he doesn’t fully understand because he still completely inebriated.
He feels drool dripping out of his mouth and he wipes at it.
“We can talk about it tomorrow, I guess,” Jimin says after a few more minutes of absolute silence.
Yoongi looks at Jimin then. Turns his head and looks at the beautiful man sitting beside him. He takes in the features he can see the clearest, Jimin’s sharp nose and jaw, his lightish brown hair, his lightish brown eyes.
He sees Jimin smiling and it makes him unbearably sad for because Jimin shouldn’t be smiling like that now.
But Jimin is smiling like that now.
So Yoongi rests his head on Jimin’s lap and falls asleep with Jimin running his hands through Yoongi’s hair lightly.
They both fall asleep like that on the bathroom floor.
They’ll figure it out tomorrow.
Poll
Team: AU
Rating:PG
Fandom: BTS
Pairing: Yoongi/Jimin
Summary: Yoongi's life consists of work, more work, and his light at the end of the tunnel, Jimin. But sometimes, things just don't work out.
Prompt Used: Yoon Jongshin- Exhausted
Yoongi is drowning in papers. Papers upon papers upon papers of unfinished work. Receipts to be copied, drafts to be proofread, business plans to finish, things that were printed that needed to be re-typed for whatever trivial reason. It was only 10:45 am and he was already completely and utterly exhausted.
His left leg was bouncing from restlessness. His hand were already cramping from all the typing. He already couldn't help but yawn and plan a quick coffee break at 11:00 in his head.
The smell of printer toner was giving him a goddamn headache. The faint yet amplified sounds of an unattended phone ringing and of 100 copies being made in the copy room across from his desk and of the Department head yelling at some schmuck in the cubical colony next door were giving him a goddamn headache.
But this was his life. The life he went to college for 5 years to obtain. The life of an average, middle class worker bee at an average company where the only things to look forward to were slight raises and slight promotions from worker to manager to senior manager.
It's not like he really has room to complain, though. Especially when there are so many people out of work these days. He's got a stable job, a stable source of income, and overall, a stable life and that's more than a lot of people have.
So he swallows his pride hard and continues on his straight, endless path to something a little more than the mediocre title of "worker".
"You logged this wrong, Min. Redo it and have a new print out on my desk ASAP."
Senior manager Kim Namjoon, Yoongi's team leader, drops a thick packet of about five pages on Yoongi's desk as he walks passed to his own.
Yoongi feels a thick scowl crawling across his face as he picks up the packet and looks it over. It's an inventory log of every sample in the storage closet. And it is indeed wrong. Rather than the company's standard format of three columns, there's only two and the items are organized in alphabetical order rather than by material and size like they're supposed to be. But there is another glaring problem here. Yoongi didn't do it.
"Excuse me, Senior Manager Kim, but I didn't type this in the first place. Kim Taehyung-ssi did."
Yoongi glances over his back where Taehyung's work space is, facing the opposite direction. He can see Taehyung's back stiffen and hears his typing come to an abrupt stop.
Kim Namjoon turns around and looks at Yoongi.
"Well clearly Kim Taehyung-ssi doesn't know how to do it properly. So either teach him, as his sunbae, or get it done yourself," Namjoon says, his tone sharp, voice raised a little higher than it should be, which garners glances from a few other workers nearby.
Namjoon briskly turns and walks to his desk.
"I'm sorry Min-ssi, I'll redo-" Taehyung starts, standing from his chair and bowing his head.
But Yoongi just takes a deep breath and cuts Taehyung off.
"I'll just do it myself. I don't have time to teach you something you should know from the company manual, you punk."
Yoongi sees Taehyung bowing again out of the corner of his eye as he takes a moment to scowl in the direction of Namjoon's desk.
This is going to be a freakin' long day.
✘
Yoongi watches as 11:00 am comes and goes and he just decides to save his coffee break for lunch because he's just finished fixing Taehyung's mistake and he still has just as much work as he did twenty minutes ago.
Yoongi suddenly hears his phone buzzing on his desk and quickly grabs it.
From: Jimin <3
[10:45] Hope you're having a great day at work!
[10:45] Soon to be Manager Min hwaiting!!! (~>3<)~
[10:46] I'll make jajangmyun tonight~
Yoongi can't help but let a smile crack across his face as he reads the messages.
The only thing that makes Yoongi's long days feel a little shorter and more worth it is Park Jimin.
The love of his life, Park Jimin.
4 years ago they'd met in a tiny gallery where they both had their artwork on display, Yoongi's was a black and white photograph and Jimin's was an abstract painting.
It hadn't taken long for them to fall completely and utterly in love with each other. Just a few dates in a rundown coffee shop and a few more blazing hot summer afternoons on a park bench, and that was it.
They're still going strong, living together and everything. Jimin still dabbles in painting, hoping to make a big break into the art scene eventually and Yoongi settles for his 8 to 6 job that requires much more overtime than it's worth. Much more.
"Min Yoongi, you don't get paid to sit around on your phone all day, do you?"
Yoongi jumps a bit and quickly sets his phone down.
He bows his head slightly in the direction of Senior Manager Kim's desk and goes back to work, his classic scowl making a reappearance.
✘
"You want to go drinking with me and some of the guys tonight, Min Yoongi-ssi?"
Yoongi was sitting at one of the tables in the break room eating his lunch, hand packed by Jimin. Though it was just the leftover omurice they had eaten the night before, Yoongi highly appreciates the sentiment. He can't be bothered to walk all the way down to the cafeteria to eat, so be often finds himself scarfing down his food in the breakdown. But of course he can't escape Kim Taehyung, the annoying little bug constantly buzzing in his ear.
"I can't, Jimin's making my favorite dish tonight," Yoongi deadpans, avoiding eye contact with the man sitting across from him.
"That's always your excuse," Taehyung says, almost in a whine.
Yoongi scoffs. He finds it funny that Taehyung can't take the hint that Yoongi really doesn't want to hang out with him or the guys.
Taehyung pouts and takes a drink of his most likely lukewarm coffee.
"What's this Jimin look like, anyway? I can't really imagine anyone who would fawn over a grumpy old man like you so much," Taehyung says, teasingly but slightly seriously.
Yoongi internally rolls his eyes and stuffs large spoonful of the omurice down his throat. He figures if he just simply gives Taehyung what he want, the younger will shut up and leave him alone faster.
He pulls his phone out of his pants pocket and turned on the lock screen, which was a picture of him and Jimin from the day they moved together, with wide smiles and bright eyes, and Yoongi looking a thousand years younger than he did now, even though it wasn't all that long ago.
He wasn't really sure what Taehyung's reaction would be, maybe it would scare the guy off, if anything, which he wouldn't really mind all that much. But Yoongi didn't really care what other people thought about it. He wasn't ashamed of it.
Yoongi slid his phone across the table to Taehyung and went back to eating his food.
Taehyung picked up the phone and looked at it for a good minute. He had a blank expression, not really shocked or disgusted, just blank.
"Oh, it's like that," Taehyung said, almost to himself. He handed Yoongi his phone back, took a sip of coffee and continued, "you guys make a cute couple."
Yoongi felt his mouth twitch a bit, wanting to smile. Taehyung was being thoughtful, being careful. Trying to avoid choosing the wrong words, trying to avoid offending. Yoongi couldn't deny that he appreciated it.
"Thanks," Yoongi mumbled finishing his last bite and getting up to leave.
Yoongi glanced at Taehyung's goofy grin before leaving. Maybe he didn't hate the guy all that much after all.
✘
"Min, come to my desk for a second.”
Yoongi’s brows furrowed subconsciously at Senior Manager Kim’s sudden beckon. Glancing at the tiny clock on his computer screen he sighed because it was nearing 3:00pm and he still had so much left to finish.
Sliding out of his chair and walking the two foot distance to his boss’s desk, Yoongi did his best from letting the annoyance that was trying to crawl across his face show.
“Yes, sir?”
He cursed himself internally for the irritated undertone that was all too clear in his voice.
Team Leader Kim was swirling around in his chair with his hand gripping the armrests. He continued to make two more full spins before stopping and acknowledging Yoongi’s presence.
“So.” Kim Namjoon started before averting his attention to his computer screen and clicking around for over forty seconds (Yoongi counted).
With each second that passed Yoongi felt himself becoming more and more aggravated.
Nonchalantly, Kim Namjoon’s gaze slid off the computer screen and to Yoongi. He was looking over his black rimmed glasses that Yoongi though completely didn’t fit his face. They were too big and slipped down Kim Namjoon’s flattish nose all too easily.
“So, I hear you’re living with someone these days? Jimin is it?”
Yoongi felt his eyes narrow and the corner of his upper lip scrunch into a scowl. This was what Kim Namjoon had called him over for? THIS is what Kim Namjoon was wasting his time on? And why did he want to know about Yoongi’s personal life now, all of the sudden?
“I’ve always been living with Jimin,” Yoongi says coolly. Well, more coldly than coolly.
Kim Namjoon is the last person in the whole damn company that Yoongi wants to be “casually chatting” with.
“Huh, I guess I haven’t be paying all that much attention to you, have I?”
Namjoon begins chuckling and Yoongi feel like that was meant to be spiteful, though he doesn’t really feel offended in anyway because it’s not like he wants the likes of Kim Namjoon paying any sort of boundary crossing attention to him.
Namjoon is looking at his computer screen again and clicking around. From Yoongi’s point of view it honestly doesn’t look like he’s doing anything productive.
“This Jimin. Is she a roommate? A significant other maybe?”
Namjoon has this weird sly look on his face. It’s almost trying to portray a ‘wink wink’ type of expression but Namjoon has twisted such a simple face into some weird, shit eating grin. Yoongi wondered if Namjoon would still make that face if he saw himself in the mirror.
“He is my significant other,” Yoongi says, almost emotionless.
In retrospect, maybe he shouldn’t have said it so simply and easily, like there was nothing wrong with it, like it was normal. Of course it was normal to him, but Kim Namjoon isn’t someone Yoongi should be telling this like this too. Yoongi isn’t ashamed, of course. There’s no way he could be ashamed. But there’s a slight pang in the back of his head as he lets the words “he” and “significant other” slip out of his mouth in the same sentence. He doesn’t really care if his weid ass team leader’s opinion of him changes or not. But maybe he should.
Namjoon’s clicking ceases and as if following a snake, his eyes slither off of the computer screen and up to Yoongi’s face. He’s looking Yoongi in the eyes, and it’s uncomfortable to have such a gaze on him.
“He?” Namjoon, questions, not sure if he’s heard quite right.
“Yes, he,” Yoongi replies coolly, skipping over the chance to take it all back. Not even quite recognizing the chance to take it all back.
“He…” Namjoon repeats again, returning his gaze to the computer screen but not clicking, “I really guess I haven’t paid much attention to you, Min Yoongi-ssi.”
Yoongi can tell the difference in Namjoon’s tone as he says this. It’s slight, but he can tell. This reaction isn’t as careful and open minded as Taehyung’s. This reaction is full of pondering, yet still a clear undertone of distaste.
“Get back to work, Min. I’m sure you don’t want to be here too late.”
Yoongi bows his head slightly, turns on his heels and returns to his desk. He takes in that not many people are at their desks at this time, probably in breaks or at meetings. He sighs to himself and glances briefly at Namjoon’s desk which is directly two feet to his right. Maybe he should have kept his mouth shut. Or maybe not.
✘
“Hey there.”
Yoongi walks into his apartment at exactly 9:00pm and is greeted by a warm, smiling Jimin sitting at the kitchen table, cutting out coupons from the paper with the tv on the news station in the background.
Yoongi drops his brief case on the ground and begins sliding off his suit jacket.
“Don’t you look like the perfect little house wife,” Yoongi comments, stepping out of his shoes and onto the tiny rise in the floor from the shoe storage area.
“I try,” Jimin replies with a slight smile, “your dinner’s in the top shelf of the fridge. Sorry I made it so early. I didn’t expect you to be this late.”
Jimin doesn’t look up from the coupons as Yoongi walks over and ruffles the hair on Jimin’s head affectionately.
“No, I’m sorry for being late.”
Yoongi almost wants to laugh because he feels like they have a similar conversation every day. Whether Yoongi comes home at 10:00 pm or 8:00 pm, he’s always saying sorry and he’s always heating up swollen noodles. But he doesn’t mind, really. Jimin tries and Yoongi appreciates it and that’s what makes them work. They never truly get mad at each other because they fully understand each other.
As Yoongi heats up his food he watches Jimin place the cut coupons in a plastic bag.
“Once I get a promotion and a salary raise, you won’t have to do that anymore.”
Jimin looks at him with the homiest smile and Yoongi just about melts into a puddle of pure passion, love, and happiness.
“But I like doing it, it gets boring staying around here all day. Plus, I want to feel like I’m actually doing something useful and productive while I wait for my working man to get home.”
Yoongi hears the microwave beep but he ignores it and walks over to Jimin. In one swift motion he gently pulls Jimin out of his seat and into a tight embrace.
“Just you being here is useful, Jimin. I appreciate just you being here,” Yoongi mumbles into Jimin’s shoulder.
They hug for about 3 minutes as the microwave continuously beeps in the background and once they pull apart, all they can do is smile at each other.
“I love you, you know,” Yoongi says.
“I know,” Jimin beams, making Yoongi playfully punch him in the arm.
They don’t really say much for the rest of the night. Yoongi eats and then gets ready for bed and Jimin watches his favorite drama with a face mask on.
But without saying anything, they know they’re still just as in love as they were when they first met. Though now there’s so many more things getting in their way, trying to break them down, they know they won’t budge because just waking up next to each other each morning is the best feeling in the whole world.
✘
Yoongi doesn’t eat breakfast the next morning because Jimin is in one of his creative bouts and is too busy painting to do much more than say his standard “good morning”.
“I love you, too”, and “have a good day at work.”
But Yoongi doesn’t mind the skipped breakfast all that much. Because he has left over jajungmyun that he’ll probably end up eating cold packed away for lunch. He has a feeling that today is going to be a good day as he finds a good seat on the bus and catches the elevator in his building just before it closes, saving him a 5 minute wait in the office’s front lobby.
But as Yoongi steps out of the elevator and onto the 8th floor, he feels almost as everything is in slow motion as he sees multiple co-workers standing by the bulletin board chatting, glancing at him when they realize he’s arrived.
He doesn’t know exactly what he expect when he walks up to the bulletin board, seeing the clump of people move a side or walk away as he approaches.
But what he doesn’t expect to see is what he actually sees. On a piece of white printer paper under the neat header “promoted” he sees the word “Manager Kim Taehyung”.
Kim Taehyung was promoted. That bastard Kim Taehyung that Yoongi was always cleaning up after was promoted.
✘
"Why didn't I get the promotion, senior manager Kim?"
To Yoongi, angry was an understatement. He was literally seething as he briskly walked right up to Team Leader Kim Namjoon's desk in a fury, steam swirling around in his brain, threatening to seep out his ears. Kim Namjoon, the person who wrote the performance report and recommendations that qualified anyone is his team for a promotion. Kim Namjoon who handed what was rightfully Yoongi's to Taehyung.
Manager Kim eyed him for a moment, took in the fists he had balled up at his side, took in his furrowed brow, the tie crooked from the trek over.
Yoongi couldn't place the look on the Manager's face at first, but then he realized it was pity. Yoongi was pitiful in his eyes and it felt like a punch in the gut.
"You and Taehyung had similar performance records. It was close, but in the end I had to choose one of you. Taehyung just seemed like a slightly better choice," Namjoon said with an almost smug look on his face, leaning back in his wheelie chair, hands folded over his stomach.
"Is that a joke?" Yoongi nearly spat.
"Do I look like a comedian?" Namjoon said, voice laced with spite.
“No, but you look like a clown,” Yoong wanted to say, but he didn’t. He didn’t think giving a witty comment was worth being fired over.
Namjoon looked at Yoongi for a long moment. Yoongi felt himself becoming more infuriate with each second that passed with that cold stare chilling his very bones. Namjoon had never looked at Yoongi with such distaste before. It was a known fact that they didn’t have the best relationship but Namjoon was looking a Yoongi like he was his worst enemy or something.
“Fine, Min. Do you want to know the truth?” Namjoon finally spoke, a little louder than he needed to.
Yoongi notices that the sudden raised voiced had gathered the attention of a few of the other office workers around. Because they had short cubicles that everyone could see over, scenes like this never went unnoticed.
Yoongi swallows the lump in his throat and nodded his head. It was taking every ounce of strength in his body not to yell or curse at Namjoon. It was taking so much strength to just stand there and take it like a man (for lack of a better term).
“Taehyung is married. He has a child. I’m sure he could benefit more from a raise than you could with your little man whore,” Namjoon all but spat.
His voice was laced with pure hatred and each word hit Yoongi a little more than the last.
“Look, I wasn’t going to say anything, Min. You have every right to make the life choices you want. But you think you have the right to come over here and whine to me about something that happened because of disgusting way you live your life? Please.”
Namjoon wasn’t even looking at Yoongi anymore. He was signing papers or something as if to say “you’re not even worth my full attention”. Everyone in the office was watching now. They all got what was happening. They all ate it up and Yoongi knew he would be the hot topic of office gossip fr the rest of the month. And to be perfectly honest, he could care less about any of that. Jimin didn’t deserve to be talked about like he was nothing just because of his sexual orientation. And neither did Yoongi.
“Sir, do you think I wouldn’t be married right now if it wasn’t for society’s view of my relationship? If it wasn’t for our parent’s view of our relationship? I’ve been in a serious relationship with the person I love for four years. We live together, we are faithful to each other, and we have even talked about adopting a child in the future. When I fell in Love with Park Jimin, I didn’t see him as a man. I saw him as a person I wanted to spend my time with. A person, a human fucking being. Are we any less human simply because we love each other? No. You made a terrible decision, sir. You took something from someone who deserved it and gave it to someone much less qualified. You―”
Yoongi felt tears spilling down his cheeks. Why was he crying? Because this wasn’t the first instance he was looked at differently, treated differently, because of his love. But this was the first time he was sticking up for himself, and for Jimin and for everything he believed in. It had all been bubbling up over the years and Yoongi was finally letting it spill.
Namjoon’s eyes were a bit wide at the outburst. After a few moments he took off his glasses and set them on his desk.
“Min Yoongi-ssi, you’re fired. Please get out of my sight.”
Yoongi felt as if an earthqake was shaking the ground beneath him. He heard some of his co-workers gasp….. But he didn’t fight back. It wasn’t worth it.
He turned around, tears still dampening his cheeks. He saw Taehyung standing by his desk with three cups of coffee. Taehyung was looking down. He looked like he was going to throw up and Yoongi subconsciously wished he would so that he could have a taste of the bile that Yoongi was tasting in that moment.
Yoongi wondered briefly if Namjoon even had the authority to fire workers on the spot like that. But he didn’t care. He just needed to get out of there. To get away from the open stares, most more shocked that hateful.
He walked passed them all without even a backwards glance.
✘
As Yoongi walks down the street with red eyes and a dried, tear stained face, complete and utter regret seeps from his core and washes over him in waves. What exactly were they going to do now? Yoongi was the only source of income for the two of them, him and Jimin, and now he had lost one of the most stable things besides Jimin in his life.
The promises he had made to Jimin started to swirl around his head in a thick mist, clouding his vision.
Once I get promoted, we can travel Europe for vacation like you always wanted to. We can visit all those fancy museums and everything.
Once I get a promotion and a salary raise, you won’t have to do that anymore.
He’d said these things more times than he could count and each time Jimin had smiled so brightly it was almost blinding. That smile full of dreams of the future, full of happiness at such promises.
Yoongi felt the remorse gnaw at his stomach. Maybe he should have just held his tongue. Just for once.
The sun felt hotter than usually as he continued to walk not really knowing where he was headed. Sweat began to mix with the dried, salty stains on his face and he felt itchy all over.
He hears his phone vibrating in his suit pocket.
From: Jimin <3
[9:00] what do you want for dinner tonight?^^
It kind of really hurts. And Yoongi feels like a piece of shit as he closes his phone and heads to a nearby bar that’s open.
From: Jimin <3
[10:30] You must be busy. Keep working hard! Fighting!!!
Three empty glasses of beer turns into six and Yoongi isn’t sure what reality even is anymore. His mind is swirling with so many thoughts and emotions and he can’t bring himself to answer Jimin’s texts, to even bring Jimin into his mind for more than a few seconds.
From: Jimin <3
[11:00] Sorry if I’m annoying you, but could you please text me back? I’ve got to know what you want tonight so I can buy the groceries~
From: Jimin <3
[12:26] Yoongs, did something happen…?
From: Jimin <3
[2:00] ????
From: Jimin <3
[9:00] Yoongi, I’m worried! Please text me or call me or something. Anything…
From: Jimin <3
[9:30] Please, I’ve got to know what’s going on
Yoongi wakes up with his head pounding, to someone tapping on his shoulder harshly. It’s a worker in the bar who tells him its closing time and he has to leave. And so Yoongi leaves, realizing it’s gotten late, he’s stayed in that bar, passed out for the entire day.
It doesn’t take long to hail a cab. It doesn’t take long for him to break down in tears once he’s in that cab.
He’s an emotional wreck.
✘
Yoongi stumbles down the hall towards his apartment.
His vision is blurry, and he can barely stand straight and the only coherent thought floatin through his head is that Jimin will probably be mad at him.
He tries to read the numbers plastered on each door, but he can’t focus his eyes enough to see anything but the first number, which is a 2 on every door on this floor.
But he somehow makes it to their door anyway.
Because he sees the pink welcome mat in front of the door that he and Jimin had brought at a thrift store when Jimin first moves in.
The site of that mat at a moment like this when Yoongi’s ears are buzz and emotions are swirling around in a mess of solid, gas, and liquid in his chest, brings Yoongi back to his senses for a moment.
He remembers everything for just a moment, feels tears prickling his eyes because he wishes alcohol didn’t make everything a hundred times worst when it’s supposed to help you forget those things.
He stands in front of his door for a moment, looking down at the mat with the words “welcome home” in blue embroidered across it.
He doesn’t know how long he stands there looking at the mat for, but it feels like an eternity.
Jimin’s smiling face materializes in Yoongi’s head for a few seconds and Yoongi sighs, knowing he can’t just stand there forever.
He feels a wave come over him as he reaches for the keys in his suit pocket. He feels bile sting the back of his throat and he swallows hard, doing everything in his power to keep the vomit threatening to trickle out of his esophagus down.
He fiddles with his keys for a moment, vision suddenly zooming in and out, blurring and focusing, and he feels like he might pass out.
Yoongi flips through the ring of keys, seeing everything but his apartment keys. He sees the keys to his desk drawer, the keys to his department’s confidential file cabinet, he sees the keys to the sample closet on the 5th floor and then it actually kind of hits him like a truck that these things aren’t his anymore. None of these things are his anymore.
Tears start welling up again and he’d feel like an idiot right now if he wasn’t drunk out of his mind. He rests his head on the door and begins clumsily sliding the un-needed keys of the metal ring and dropping them on the carpet.
It’s a cleansing ritual, he pretends, knowing full well that he’s really just acting like an emotional ex-girlfriend after a break up.
He still can’t figure out which one is his apartment key and the pure acid burning his throat and the tears causing his nasal cavity to sting and his eyes to water is making him noxious. He begins banging his head on the door, subconsciously almost. He’s numb to the dull pain rattling his skull and his emotions begin to spill over as the tears finally paint his cheeks and sobs start escaping his mouth.
His hand are shaking and his vision is so blurry that he can’t see anything. And he almost thinks he’s hallucinating when he hears a light switch flick on over the rhythmic thud of his skull hitting wood. He thinks he’s hallucinating as he hears the lock click and feels the door basically ripped from under him.
But he hits reality like a brick wall when he stumbles forward into Jimin’s arms.
“Yoongi what’s- what’s going on? Have you been drinking,” Jimin says, confused, but not angry.
He reaches around Yoongi and closes the door with one arm still wrapped around the sobbing man who’s sobbing gets louder at the realization the Jimin isn’t mad. Is’t mad about the text, or the blown off dinner plan, or the late arrival. Jimin isn’t mad.
“Jesus, I was so worried. What’s wrong with you? Are you hurt or something?”
Jimin’s voice fills with a sudden panic when he realizes that Yoongi isn’t just being a drunk bastard, but something is actually wrong.
He pulls Yoongi further into the apartment, help pull Yoongi’s shaking legs over the small incline in the floor separating the shoe storage area from the kitchen.
Yoongi keeps sobbing into Jimin’s oversized sweatshirt all the way.
“Yoongi what happened? Please, just tell me baby.”
They’re in the middle of the dark kitchen when Jimin says this, pulling Yoongi’s head back, away from his chest, so he can get a clear look at his face. At his bloodshot, unfocused eyes and runny nose.
“I-I’m sorry,” is Yoongi’s reply.
Jimin’s concerned face is all too endearing.
“Yoongi...”
“I-I-I lost my job, Jimin, I-I-I was fired.”
Yoongi is a blubbering mess. He can’t think straight, speak straight, or see straight, but he clearly sees Jimin’s eyes widen for a second. But Jimin doesn’t look angry, or even upset in particular, he just looks more concerned.
“It’s okay, baby, it’s okay,” Jimin coos quietly, pulling Yoongi back into a tight embrace.
The complete and utter warmth of Jimin’s arms around him, the smell of the cheap soap they share on Jimin’s skin, the gentle rub of Jimin’s hand over the back of Yoongi’s head for comfort, makes the nausea come back at full force.
Because even if Jimin isn’t angry at him, Yoongi’s angry at himself and he knows that no matter what Jimin says or how wide Jimin smiles, he’s let Jimin down.
And it makes him feel so sick that he feels it all, the alchohol, the emotions, the everything, rises in his stomach.
He rips himself out of Jimin’s hold and runs, stumbles, crawls to the bathroom. He doesn’t even turn the light on. Just quickly makes his way to the toilet, cover and seat already lifted, and vomits.
His throat burns and his head begins to ache as he feels the first round spew from his open mouth, splashing into the toilet water. The second round comes on even quicker, not even giving him a moment to catch his breath as he feels everything he’d eaten all day shoot out of the depths of his stomach and slide up his esophagus and out of his mouth.
Jimin is there for the third round. He slips into the bathroom and turns on the lights. The sudden brightness burns Yoongi’s eyes, but it doesn’t matter much because his eyes are closed anyway, and they’re already burning from the sting in his throat.
Jimin’s hand is on his back for the fourth round. Patting lightly, rubbing circles. Yoongi feels almost pathetic to show this side to the person who’s only seen him at his best. He actually feels really pathetic.
The fifth round is the last, there’s nothing left in his stomach to throw up, and a bit of stomach acid dribbles out of his mouth after a dry heave.
“Need water?” Jimin says, one hand on Yoongi’s back, the other pushing Yoongi’s bangs, matted with sweat, out of his face.
Yoongi nods and wonders if he even deserves someone like Jimin in his life.
Yoongi crawls away from the toilet and sits with his back against the cold tiled wall of the bathroom. He need some kind of support or else he feels like he’ll become a puddle of jelly.
“I can’t believe those jerks would fire you. Total assholes,” Jimin says, re-entering the bathroom and places a tall glass of water next to Yoongi.
He also places himself next to Yoongi.
Yoongi doesn’t want to say why he got fired, and Jimin doesn’t ask. They sit for next to each other for a while and Yoongi vaguely wonders what time it is. His eyes feel heavy and he knows Jimin is probably tired to.
“I could get a job, maybe,” Jimin says quietly after a while.
Yoongi takes longer than he should to process the words and even then he doesn’t fully understand because he still completely inebriated.
He feels drool dripping out of his mouth and he wipes at it.
“We can talk about it tomorrow, I guess,” Jimin says after a few more minutes of absolute silence.
Yoongi looks at Jimin then. Turns his head and looks at the beautiful man sitting beside him. He takes in the features he can see the clearest, Jimin’s sharp nose and jaw, his lightish brown hair, his lightish brown eyes.
He sees Jimin smiling and it makes him unbearably sad for because Jimin shouldn’t be smiling like that now.
But Jimin is smiling like that now.
So Yoongi rests his head on Jimin’s lap and falls asleep with Jimin running his hands through Yoongi’s hair lightly.
They both fall asleep like that on the bathroom floor.
They’ll figure it out tomorrow.
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