jonghyun/iu – don't say a word – au (cont.)michaelchangFebruary 16 2016, 18:38:28 UTC
.
"jieun," he greets, grinning as he rests his hand on her shoulder. his touch feels like it's burning through her clothes and scorching her skin. she struggles not to to shrug it off. "it's been a while."
it's been a year.
she remembers he sent her a message after their writing session, asking if she'd like to meet for coffee and try and finish the song. their song, he called it, like he actually believed that was true. the message is still somewhere in her inbox, rotting away like all the other insignificant texts he used to send her.
she never replied.
standing in front of him now, she hides one more truth from him and smiles.
"have you been well?"
the last time she relapsed and made the mistake of searching up articles about him on the internet was six months ago. the hot topic was the confirmation of the relationship he had with a member of rookie group alicestar. they'd already broken up. schedule conflicts, their companies said. when jieun looked at the dates provided, something lurched inside her stomach.
they barely lasted three months.
she looks at him now, a natural glow seeping through the make-up he was wearing, and hates him a little for being okay. she's been stubbornly wallowing in regret and bitterness for the last six months, for the last year and a half, over something so small, and he-
he nods and says that yes, he's been well. she can't tell if he's lying.
"have you?"
she remembers he sent her a message before his new song came out, asking if she'd like to sing it with him. he had started writing it with her, after all. he left three messages on her personal phone and one with the station. hwang pd had been ecstatic, more than ready to give his team the green light and shove the two of them into a warm room, force them to stand too close together, maybe even point a camera at their faces, and watch magic happen. her listeners did enjoy hearing her sing, after all. jieun smiled but asked hwang pd to decline the offer.
she never replied.
jieun lies through her teeth and says that yes, she has.
his manager quietly steps in to remind him that he has a schedule to stick to, and she ignores the relieved expression that crosses jonghyun's features.
jonghyun pats her on the arm before he leaves, like he's in a hurry to be away from her. she thinks maybe he feels unwanted and for a few seconds that makes her triumphant. he knows what she feels now, what she's felt for far too long. but she can't stop watching his back as he leaves and soon he's turning a corner, disappearing behind a white wall-going, going, gone.
.
she thinks that maybe he was right all those months ago, about it being their song. the pieces were all there, but they never tried to make them fit, just bared their souls and kept waiting for something; they waited so long his heart began to wander and hers sank from the weight of could have's and should have's and what if's. they waited so long she doesn't even remember what she'd been waiting for.
when she gets home that night, jieun pulls out the notebook she had hidden at the bottom of her drawer and opens to the page she's refused to look at for a stupidly long time.
pen in hand, she leaves three lines of space before she starts writing. the page and the one next to it are soon covered with crossed out words and sentences and scribbles born out of frustration filling the margins. when she's finally done, there are two verses accompanying the chorus.
jonghyun/iu – don't say a word – au (cont.)michaelchangFebruary 16 2016, 18:39:20 UTC
.
"so i'm asking you to make a call tonight, to whoever it is, and tell them what you feel. you won't be alone, and if you feel like you are, just think about all the other people who will be joining you tonight. let's all find strength in each other and free ourselves from the shackles of fear and wistfulness. fighting."
she leans away from the microphone with a sigh as she pulls off her headphones. hwang pd smiles, the two of them quietly listening to jieun's voice filling the air around them, and the look of pride on the normally eccentric woman's face seems a little out of place, but jieun appreciates her support all the same, won't forget to thank her again for helping her do this. still, she finds that she can't meet hwang's eyes. she feels shy, anxious, exposed.
her eyes focus on the papers on the table in front of her, and the first two minutes of the song pass in companionable silence. jieun sits and tries to do some work, and hwang pd does the same, keeping quiet for once so jieun can keep acting like she's not there.
there's roughly a minute of the song to go when jieun's phone rings.
she's up and out of her chair the moment she sees who the caller is.
.
jieun picks up when she's out in the hallway, safely out of earshot of hwang pd. there aren't that many people walking and down this end of the building at this hour, and it's one of those times she feels incredibly grateful for the timeslot her show has.
he doesn't say anything for a while, and jieun is considering breaking the silence for them when he suddenly says, "i liked you," and somewhere near the end of that, his voice breaks. he coughs furiously to try and cover it up, but she still heard it, and for a little while all she can see is a teenage kim jonghyun, fiddling nervously with his blazer as he stared straight down at his dirt-coated sneakers.
the image makes her laugh, makes it easier for her to get the words out.
"me too."
and then she hangs up.
there's a ghost of a smile on her lips when she walks back into the studio. she drops into her chair with a loud sigh, clears her throat to try and get rid of the ball trying to wedge itself in it, and waits patiently as her song comes to an end.
.
she's packing up and getting ready to head home for the night when she hears her phone buzz. the message under his contact name (simply jonghyun, there was no need for frills when it came to new beginnings) surprises her.
RE: jonghyun/iu – don't say a word – au (cont.)kaleid_scopicFebruary 17 2016, 16:55:45 UTC
OH MY GOD NASVDMBKZSBbfsznV
ok I didn't know what I wanted but this is probably much more than that ;__; I like that the ending is ambiguous in that it can go the 'happily ever after' way or it can go the other way.
this line
the pieces were all there, but they never tried to make them fit, just bared their souls and kept waiting for something
is so uuughhhh /cries
sobs I miss jongiu fics so much so thank you so so much for this!!! <3
RE: jonghyun/iu – don't say a word – au (cont.)xkayyeFebruary 28 2016, 16:20:04 UTC
HI THERE. AAAH THIS IS REALLY REALLY NICE Songwriting and JongU are just perfect for each other. <3 I love the tone of this fic and I also love the detail of Jjong's honesty here about really wanting to write a song with IU.
he means it, of course. he always means everything he says. that's what she finds so funny about all this; it's all the things he hasn't said. all the things she hasn't said, either. THIS LINE TOO
"jieun," he greets, grinning as he rests his hand on her shoulder. his touch feels like it's burning through her clothes and scorching her skin. she struggles not to to shrug it off. "it's been a while."
it's been a year.
she remembers he sent her a message after their writing session, asking if she'd like to meet for coffee and try and finish the song. their song, he called it, like he actually believed that was true. the message is still somewhere in her inbox, rotting away like all the other insignificant texts he used to send her.
she never replied.
standing in front of him now, she hides one more truth from him and smiles.
"have you been well?"
the last time she relapsed and made the mistake of searching up articles about him on the internet was six months ago. the hot topic was the confirmation of the relationship he had with a member of rookie group alicestar. they'd already broken up. schedule conflicts, their companies said. when jieun looked at the dates provided, something lurched inside her stomach.
they barely lasted three months.
she looks at him now, a natural glow seeping through the make-up he was wearing, and hates him a little for being okay. she's been stubbornly wallowing in regret and bitterness for the last six months, for the last year and a half, over something so small, and he-
he nods and says that yes, he's been well. she can't tell if he's lying.
"have you?"
she remembers he sent her a message before his new song came out, asking if she'd like to sing it with him. he had started writing it with her, after all. he left three messages on her personal phone and one with the station. hwang pd had been ecstatic, more than ready to give his team the green light and shove the two of them into a warm room, force them to stand too close together, maybe even point a camera at their faces, and watch magic happen. her listeners did enjoy hearing her sing, after all. jieun smiled but asked hwang pd to decline the offer.
she never replied.
jieun lies through her teeth and says that yes, she has.
his manager quietly steps in to remind him that he has a schedule to stick to, and she ignores the relieved expression that crosses jonghyun's features.
jonghyun pats her on the arm before he leaves, like he's in a hurry to be away from her. she thinks maybe he feels unwanted and for a few seconds that makes her triumphant. he knows what she feels now, what she's felt for far too long. but she can't stop watching his back as he leaves and soon he's turning a corner, disappearing behind a white wall-going, going, gone.
.
she thinks that maybe he was right all those months ago, about it being their song. the pieces were all there, but they never tried to make them fit, just bared their souls and kept waiting for something; they waited so long his heart began to wander and hers sank from the weight of could have's and should have's and what if's. they waited so long she doesn't even remember what she'd been waiting for.
when she gets home that night, jieun pulls out the notebook she had hidden at the bottom of her drawer and opens to the page she's refused to look at for a stupidly long time.
pen in hand, she leaves three lines of space before she starts writing. the page and the one next to it are soon covered with crossed out words and sentences and scribbles born out of frustration filling the margins. when she's finally done, there are two verses accompanying the chorus.
Reply
"so i'm asking you to make a call tonight, to whoever it is, and tell them what you feel. you won't be alone, and if you feel like you are, just think about all the other people who will be joining you tonight. let's all find strength in each other and free ourselves from the shackles of fear and wistfulness. fighting."
she leans away from the microphone with a sigh as she pulls off her headphones. hwang pd smiles, the two of them quietly listening to jieun's voice filling the air around them, and the look of pride on the normally eccentric woman's face seems a little out of place, but jieun appreciates her support all the same, won't forget to thank her again for helping her do this. still, she finds that she can't meet hwang's eyes. she feels shy, anxious, exposed.
her eyes focus on the papers on the table in front of her, and the first two minutes of the song pass in companionable silence. jieun sits and tries to do some work, and hwang pd does the same, keeping quiet for once so jieun can keep acting like she's not there.
there's roughly a minute of the song to go when jieun's phone rings.
she's up and out of her chair the moment she sees who the caller is.
.
jieun picks up when she's out in the hallway, safely out of earshot of hwang pd. there aren't that many people walking and down this end of the building at this hour, and it's one of those times she feels incredibly grateful for the timeslot her show has.
he doesn't say anything for a while, and jieun is considering breaking the silence for them when he suddenly says, "i liked you," and somewhere near the end of that, his voice breaks. he coughs furiously to try and cover it up, but she still heard it, and for a little while all she can see is a teenage kim jonghyun, fiddling nervously with his blazer as he stared straight down at his dirt-coated sneakers.
the image makes her laugh, makes it easier for her to get the words out.
"me too."
and then she hangs up.
there's a ghost of a smile on her lips when she walks back into the studio. she drops into her chair with a loud sigh, clears her throat to try and get rid of the ball trying to wedge itself in it, and waits patiently as her song comes to an end.
.
she's packing up and getting ready to head home for the night when she hears her phone buzz. the message under his contact name (simply jonghyun, there was no need for frills when it came to new beginnings) surprises her.
have you eaten yet?
Reply
ok I didn't know what I wanted but this is probably much more than that ;__; I like that the ending is ambiguous in that it can go the 'happily ever after' way or it can go the other way.
this line
the pieces were all there, but they never tried to make them fit, just bared their souls and kept waiting for something
is so uuughhhh /cries
sobs I miss jongiu fics so much so thank you so so much for this!!! <3
Reply
Reply
AAAH THIS IS REALLY REALLY NICE
Songwriting and JongU are just perfect for each other. <3
I love the tone of this fic and I also love the detail of Jjong's honesty here about really wanting to write a song with IU.
he means it, of course. he always means everything he says. that's what she finds so funny about all this; it's all the things he hasn't said. all the things she hasn't said, either.
THIS LINE TOO
Reply
writing this may have broken me, so i'm glad i could share a little bit of that feeling with you. ;_;
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