Well dammit.
Some things.
First, I got my hair cut today. Just restyled, layered, looks pretty much the same, just shorter.
Second, I just have to say this. I just have to because I have to get it off my chest: I'm in intense danger of losing my scholarship for next year. Without that scholarship, we can't afford Xavier. I've emailed my academic advisor who told me he is willing to help, but I believe he's in Rome for two weeks with a class.
How did that happen? I'm used to being such a brilliant student. I'm not used to feeling this stupid all the time. Meanwhile my friends are punching out Dean's List grades (and most of them actively cheering about it to me) and telling me how their parents are hanging that letter on the fridge, while I'm praying that somehow mine won't find out I've gotten all B's and a very surprise C. I've done a crapload of work this semester. I knew taking 18 credits was a bad idea, but I can't even blame it all on that. I just made so many mistakes in so many ways.
Basically, I need a cumulative GPA of 3.000 to keep my scholarships, right? Not that hard. Well fuck me Freddy but I've got a 2.867. For this semester I had a 2.944; where the HELL does that C come from? It's in economics. Economics that I have loved since its very existence, the class I couldn't wait to take and have considered minoring in. It was a C+, and I studied my ASS off for that exam. A few more points here and there and I would have at least had a B-, granting me at least a 3.000 for the semester, if not cumulatively.
This pisses me off, if only because I know that I can be so much better than this. Next year is going to be the year to do it because I actively love all of my classes. I'm just terrified of all this red tape I'm going to have to fight through to be able to complete this year. I'm terrified of trying to convince my parents that I will, in fact, do better next time. I do not want to have to tell them that after everything we've gone through to get me this education, there's even more road blocks.
I expected all that to feel kind of cathartic, but. . . crap. I need to go driving around, or something.
First, I got my hair cut today. Just restyled, layered, looks pretty much the same, just shorter.
Second, I just have to say this. I just have to because I have to get it off my chest: I'm in intense danger of losing my scholarship for next year. Without that scholarship, we can't afford Xavier. I've emailed my academic advisor who told me he is willing to help, but I believe he's in Rome for two weeks with a class.
How did that happen? I'm used to being such a brilliant student. I'm not used to feeling this stupid all the time. Meanwhile my friends are punching out Dean's List grades (and most of them actively cheering about it to me) and telling me how their parents are hanging that letter on the fridge, while I'm praying that somehow mine won't find out I've gotten all B's and a very surprise C. I've done a crapload of work this semester. I knew taking 18 credits was a bad idea, but I can't even blame it all on that. I just made so many mistakes in so many ways.
Basically, I need a cumulative GPA of 3.000 to keep my scholarships, right? Not that hard. Well fuck me Freddy but I've got a 2.867. For this semester I had a 2.944; where the HELL does that C come from? It's in economics. Economics that I have loved since its very existence, the class I couldn't wait to take and have considered minoring in. It was a C+, and I studied my ASS off for that exam. A few more points here and there and I would have at least had a B-, granting me at least a 3.000 for the semester, if not cumulatively.
This pisses me off, if only because I know that I can be so much better than this. Next year is going to be the year to do it because I actively love all of my classes. I'm just terrified of all this red tape I'm going to have to fight through to be able to complete this year. I'm terrified of trying to convince my parents that I will, in fact, do better next time. I do not want to have to tell them that after everything we've gone through to get me this education, there's even more road blocks.
I expected all that to feel kind of cathartic, but. . . crap. I need to go driving around, or something.