"We're all going streaking!"
Oh, what a day it has been. Actually, what a 14 hours it has been, as the day really kind of officially started at 1230 last night. Why 1230am? you ask. I'll tell you. Because the metal part of the sprinkler in my bedroom fell on my head. And it's light, but it kind of hurt and irritated me enough to completely wake me up and keep me from ever getting back to sleep. I ended up groggily singing along with "One Fine Day" (which was a wicked de ja vu back to 8th grade and the surgery when it was new on HBO and my mom had gotten HBO so that I could watch something besides trash while I recovered from the sinus stuff and since it was new it was all they played) and deleriously going, "What the FUCK?" to like Police Academy or some equally stupid movie at five o'clock in the ante meridian.
I finally drift off for a little while and wake up at 730 to get ready for my day. Get directions that look right on the map and head on in. I'm thinking, "Awesome, I'm going to be early! And I feel rested despite the fact that I just spent two hours intermittently sleeping!" Well, turns out the directions were shit and the map was wrong. By the time I got to U of M, class was already 15 minutes in.
9:05-- I call the admissions office because that's the only number I have. The woman there is no help whatsoever and nobody's letting me over in traffic so I'm honking my horn and trying not to curse while trying to get her to understand that I'm coming from Poplar on to Highland so would I turn left or right on to Central? It was ridiculous. I'm not from Memphis and I know what that means. So she gives me directions to the visitor's center.
9:10-- Some dumb girl gives me a wierd look when I say I'm taking summer classes and then marks out a map and asks if I got a parking pass. No, I didn't get a parking pass. Oh, well go park in the garage and PAY for it. Guess what, I have $1 left to my name so you can fuck yourself. I park in visitor parking. Class is now 20 minutes in.
9:15-- I make note of where parking services is so that I can go yell at people later, then procede to follow the path that dumb girl marked out for me to the place I'm supposed to be having my class. Manning, anyone? Manning? Nobody knows what the hell I'm talking about. I'm serious, they don't.
9:30-- I finally figure out that this "massive fountain" that the dumb girl was talking about isn't even as big as one of the rings in the Olympic fountain in Atlanta. Go figure. The building I'm looking for is also not in plain sight or marked with signs like the rest of them. The name is carved in to the ped--(shit I can't remember the rest of the word; the triangular)--iment on the front of the building that is covered by trees.
I show up late.
9:45-- I text Casey, Wes, and S-K. U of M is killing my brain.
10:00-- Awesome, someone else is late, too. Later, even.
10:25-- Do I have to keep listening to him?
10:30-- Thank god, I'm done. I call mom to share the pain, then call Em to share the pain. She feels me. My mom asks what I expected.
10:50-- I get to lab. This is where I find out that classes actually started Monday. That's right, kids, I wasn't just 35 minutes late, I was 2 days, 35 minutes late. Oh yeah. Also, the professor doesn't speak English. He's Indian. He speaks with an extremely heavy accent, which is saying something because I'm usually pretty good with accents. I ask him if there was an e-mail to the class that I missed (this was before I found out classes started Monday) and he looks at me like I'm crazy. I ask him again and he says Oh! You sent me an e-mail! No, no, I say. I was wondering. If there was an e-mail. That you sent to the class about today's lesson. I felt like a jackass, but it was only then that he looked at me oddly and looked at the other 11 people in the room and asked if I had not been there Monday. Nice.
Nobody understood a damn word he was saying, it took my lab partners (2) and I all together to figure out what the hell we were supposed to graph. The good news is that all I have to do is show up and fill out the sheet. Apparently we don't even have to have the labs correct, just as long as we're there. Amazing.
I have also just gotten word that b-b-b-b-b-bam, no attendence policy a-la Physics class. And the professor was wierded out when I apologized for not being there...
I want the Rhodes bubble back, please. No more large state schools with stupid professors.
I'll put more quotes up later when my brain can handle it, but for now, I'll leave you with the one I sent Winterschiedt as a goodbye present.
Professor: So if the horse is pulling one way with 200N and the buggy by principle is pulling the other way with 200N, then why does the cart move?
Girl: But, it shouldn't move-- they cancel each other out!
Me: No, the buggy's 200N are acting on the horse, not the buggy.
Girl: But that doesn't make sense at all.
...
Professor: So if the net force is equal to zero, then what is the velocity of the object?
Girl: Zero! Because it's like when you throw a ball straight up in the air and it comes back down in the same place.
(this was when I almost started to cry)
Professor: No, but I know what you're talking about.... (thinks about it(
Me: You mean displacement?
Professor: Yes! Displacement!
Oh, yeah.
I finally drift off for a little while and wake up at 730 to get ready for my day. Get directions that look right on the map and head on in. I'm thinking, "Awesome, I'm going to be early! And I feel rested despite the fact that I just spent two hours intermittently sleeping!" Well, turns out the directions were shit and the map was wrong. By the time I got to U of M, class was already 15 minutes in.
9:05-- I call the admissions office because that's the only number I have. The woman there is no help whatsoever and nobody's letting me over in traffic so I'm honking my horn and trying not to curse while trying to get her to understand that I'm coming from Poplar on to Highland so would I turn left or right on to Central? It was ridiculous. I'm not from Memphis and I know what that means. So she gives me directions to the visitor's center.
9:10-- Some dumb girl gives me a wierd look when I say I'm taking summer classes and then marks out a map and asks if I got a parking pass. No, I didn't get a parking pass. Oh, well go park in the garage and PAY for it. Guess what, I have $1 left to my name so you can fuck yourself. I park in visitor parking. Class is now 20 minutes in.
9:15-- I make note of where parking services is so that I can go yell at people later, then procede to follow the path that dumb girl marked out for me to the place I'm supposed to be having my class. Manning, anyone? Manning? Nobody knows what the hell I'm talking about. I'm serious, they don't.
9:30-- I finally figure out that this "massive fountain" that the dumb girl was talking about isn't even as big as one of the rings in the Olympic fountain in Atlanta. Go figure. The building I'm looking for is also not in plain sight or marked with signs like the rest of them. The name is carved in to the ped--(shit I can't remember the rest of the word; the triangular)--iment on the front of the building that is covered by trees.
I show up late.
9:45-- I text Casey, Wes, and S-K. U of M is killing my brain.
10:00-- Awesome, someone else is late, too. Later, even.
10:25-- Do I have to keep listening to him?
10:30-- Thank god, I'm done. I call mom to share the pain, then call Em to share the pain. She feels me. My mom asks what I expected.
10:50-- I get to lab. This is where I find out that classes actually started Monday. That's right, kids, I wasn't just 35 minutes late, I was 2 days, 35 minutes late. Oh yeah. Also, the professor doesn't speak English. He's Indian. He speaks with an extremely heavy accent, which is saying something because I'm usually pretty good with accents. I ask him if there was an e-mail to the class that I missed (this was before I found out classes started Monday) and he looks at me like I'm crazy. I ask him again and he says Oh! You sent me an e-mail! No, no, I say. I was wondering. If there was an e-mail. That you sent to the class about today's lesson. I felt like a jackass, but it was only then that he looked at me oddly and looked at the other 11 people in the room and asked if I had not been there Monday. Nice.
Nobody understood a damn word he was saying, it took my lab partners (2) and I all together to figure out what the hell we were supposed to graph. The good news is that all I have to do is show up and fill out the sheet. Apparently we don't even have to have the labs correct, just as long as we're there. Amazing.
I have also just gotten word that b-b-b-b-b-bam, no attendence policy a-la Physics class. And the professor was wierded out when I apologized for not being there...
I want the Rhodes bubble back, please. No more large state schools with stupid professors.
I'll put more quotes up later when my brain can handle it, but for now, I'll leave you with the one I sent Winterschiedt as a goodbye present.
Professor: So if the horse is pulling one way with 200N and the buggy by principle is pulling the other way with 200N, then why does the cart move?
Girl: But, it shouldn't move-- they cancel each other out!
Me: No, the buggy's 200N are acting on the horse, not the buggy.
Girl: But that doesn't make sense at all.
...
Professor: So if the net force is equal to zero, then what is the velocity of the object?
Girl: Zero! Because it's like when you throw a ball straight up in the air and it comes back down in the same place.
(this was when I almost started to cry)
Professor: No, but I know what you're talking about.... (thinks about it(
Me: You mean displacement?
Professor: Yes! Displacement!
Oh, yeah.