Pirates of the Caribbean
Funny stuff, this-- in the first rendition (during which I was hiding on Windfall Island), Adam was the naval officer. In the second, where I hide away on the Island of Doom, it's Erin.
Even if Emily is a big enough twit to try and pop up a few times ;o)
Working on laundry at S-K's, and I kinda sorta want to shoot myself. I have to be at Brandon's in three hours to go fly to Houston for paperwork that will likely not happen because I didn't get the following until about an hour ago because they sent it at 4...
· You will fill out paperwork (see the attached)
o Take a drug test (You must take your drug test before departing Houston)
o Get finger printed for an FBI background check
o Please bring two forms of government issued identification for finger print and drug test
· After the orientation, proceed to the Terminal of your departing flight.
o If you do not have a return ticket, proceed to the main ticket counter (outside of security)
o Present your Driver’s License and Record Locator number (see above)
YOU MUST BRING COPIES OF: (We will keep whatever you bring, so make sure you bring copies we can keep - not just the original document)
q Clean copy of current resume
q Driver’s License and 2 clean copies of Driver’s License
q Social Security Card and 2 clean copies of Social Security Card (if you have misplaced yours, please order a new one and bring in the receipt)
q Copy of High School Diploma or GED (Transcripts may be substituted)
q Copies of transcripts from College or Trade Schools (diplomas are not accepted for these schools) (Unofficial copies of transcripts are accepted)
q Copies of tax returns and W-2s (1-800-829-1040 to request tax returns)**See Note Below**
q Complete name, address and current phone number for all schools attended from High School forward and the dates of attendance complete with month and year.
q Complete residence history for last 10 years - street address, city, state, zip code and month and year resided.
q Complete employment history for last 10 years - Company name, address, phone number, Supervisor’s name (*HR Dept can be used) brief job description and the month and year of employment.
Information required of some applicants:
q Copy of DD214 (* long form indicates discharge type) If you served in the US Military, you must provide a copy of your DD214.
q Copy of INS “Green Card”
**Tax & W-2 Forms: These forms are used to verify any unemployment gaps greater than 6 months and account for any former employer who is no longer in business. If you have verified your previous employer’s numbers and contact personnel for our verification, you do not need to provide any tax forms for that time frame.
Now, this is all fine and dandy but there's a problem...
I DON'T HAVE ANY OF THIS SHIT.
I have my drivers license, but none of the other stuff. And yeah whatever you should have it, but I've never had to have it before and if I did have it, it would be with my mom. I haven't gotten a chance to get together all my paperwork from Atlanta (medical records, official papers, etc) yet which is why I don't have this shit with me. Also, the state of GA sucks because I ought to have a copy of my birth certificate and never got one. Fuckers.
So I start flipping out and Brandon's like, "Umm, you need that for every job you have..." and I'm like, "Ummm, no I haven't."
After I freaked out for a while and he finally got the point that I really honestly have never had to have more than my license and a student ID to prove I live here and exist as an American and conceded that it was kind of ridiculous for them to expect me to have all that shit together in less than 24 hours anyway. Less than 13 if you consider the fact that they suggest you arrive 2 hours ahead of time and the flight is at 645, which would put me there at 445 which is 12 hours and 50 minutes after I received the e-mail from the training guy.
Anyway, I've finally calmed down, after much bawling and feeling like a general fuckwit, and am going to try to be excited about going and optimistic that I can find my passport and that they won't kick me out and send me back to Memphis.
I get back at about 530 tomorrow and will hopefully get some ice cream with Dill and take my computer up to Bosco's so Matthill can fix it and then I shall perhaps make Dill sit and watch some Firefly with me because Matthill rocks my world and burned the first half of the Firefly DVDs for me! Whoooooeee!
Soo yes, trying to stay awake, rambling on LJ, wishing there were other people out there trying to stay awake even though they'll look like shit because of it.
Going to go steal some S-K food, check on the laundry sitch and hopefully finish up soon so I can go home and take a shower and (hopefully) find my passport so I don't get laughed out of Houston tomorrow...
Even if Emily is a big enough twit to try and pop up a few times ;o)
Working on laundry at S-K's, and I kinda sorta want to shoot myself. I have to be at Brandon's in three hours to go fly to Houston for paperwork that will likely not happen because I didn't get the following until about an hour ago because they sent it at 4...
· You will fill out paperwork (see the attached)
o Take a drug test (You must take your drug test before departing Houston)
o Get finger printed for an FBI background check
o Please bring two forms of government issued identification for finger print and drug test
· After the orientation, proceed to the Terminal of your departing flight.
o If you do not have a return ticket, proceed to the main ticket counter (outside of security)
o Present your Driver’s License and Record Locator number (see above)
YOU MUST BRING COPIES OF: (We will keep whatever you bring, so make sure you bring copies we can keep - not just the original document)
q Clean copy of current resume
q Driver’s License and 2 clean copies of Driver’s License
q Social Security Card and 2 clean copies of Social Security Card (if you have misplaced yours, please order a new one and bring in the receipt)
q Copy of High School Diploma or GED (Transcripts may be substituted)
q Copies of transcripts from College or Trade Schools (diplomas are not accepted for these schools) (Unofficial copies of transcripts are accepted)
q Copies of tax returns and W-2s (1-800-829-1040 to request tax returns)**See Note Below**
q Complete name, address and current phone number for all schools attended from High School forward and the dates of attendance complete with month and year.
q Complete residence history for last 10 years - street address, city, state, zip code and month and year resided.
q Complete employment history for last 10 years - Company name, address, phone number, Supervisor’s name (*HR Dept can be used) brief job description and the month and year of employment.
Information required of some applicants:
q Copy of DD214 (* long form indicates discharge type) If you served in the US Military, you must provide a copy of your DD214.
q Copy of INS “Green Card”
**Tax & W-2 Forms: These forms are used to verify any unemployment gaps greater than 6 months and account for any former employer who is no longer in business. If you have verified your previous employer’s numbers and contact personnel for our verification, you do not need to provide any tax forms for that time frame.
Now, this is all fine and dandy but there's a problem...
I DON'T HAVE ANY OF THIS SHIT.
I have my drivers license, but none of the other stuff. And yeah whatever you should have it, but I've never had to have it before and if I did have it, it would be with my mom. I haven't gotten a chance to get together all my paperwork from Atlanta (medical records, official papers, etc) yet which is why I don't have this shit with me. Also, the state of GA sucks because I ought to have a copy of my birth certificate and never got one. Fuckers.
So I start flipping out and Brandon's like, "Umm, you need that for every job you have..." and I'm like, "Ummm, no I haven't."
After I freaked out for a while and he finally got the point that I really honestly have never had to have more than my license and a student ID to prove I live here and exist as an American and conceded that it was kind of ridiculous for them to expect me to have all that shit together in less than 24 hours anyway. Less than 13 if you consider the fact that they suggest you arrive 2 hours ahead of time and the flight is at 645, which would put me there at 445 which is 12 hours and 50 minutes after I received the e-mail from the training guy.
Anyway, I've finally calmed down, after much bawling and feeling like a general fuckwit, and am going to try to be excited about going and optimistic that I can find my passport and that they won't kick me out and send me back to Memphis.
I get back at about 530 tomorrow and will hopefully get some ice cream with Dill and take my computer up to Bosco's so Matthill can fix it and then I shall perhaps make Dill sit and watch some Firefly with me because Matthill rocks my world and burned the first half of the Firefly DVDs for me! Whoooooeee!
Soo yes, trying to stay awake, rambling on LJ, wishing there were other people out there trying to stay awake even though they'll look like shit because of it.
Going to go steal some S-K food, check on the laundry sitch and hopefully finish up soon so I can go home and take a shower and (hopefully) find my passport so I don't get laughed out of Houston tomorrow...