Top Gun
Top Ten Time! This week: The Burden of Proof
(1) New Number One: Proof that there are Snakes on the Muthafuckin' plane.
You know you're going to go see that movie. All your snakes are belong to us, bitch.
1b:
Go here. The username is "agentflynn" and the password is "fbi". Now, go to the Audio&Video, then listen to the audio clip "We Got Snakes"
brilliant
(1) Starting us off this week is Further Proof there is NO GOD. THanks to a minor league baseball team (and yes, this has knocked minor league baseball out of my sports prospects) Top Gun has forever been stained by the inadequate intelligence of Jeff Joseph and Company of the Mavericks.
"It was originally going to be a `Top Gun' ... anniversary promotion and it just sort of evolved from there," said Jeff Joseph, a spokesman for the Single-A California League team. Cruise's character was named Maverick in the 1986 film.
HOW THE FUCK do you get from one of the most awesome movies of all time to a fucking tribute to Scientology?! HOW?! My brain is fried, must move on to other news...
(2) Next, proof that Coke really does rule and you shouldn't fuck with that secret recipie.
Really, though, who thought that was a good idea?
Obviously the person who didn't think about security cameras.
Video surveillance showed Williams at her desk at Coke headquarters going through multiple files looking for documents and stuffing them into bags.
She also was observed holding a liquid container with a white label, which resembled the description of a new Coca-Cola product sample, before placing it into her personal bag, prosecutors say. Coca-Cola later verified the sample was genuine and is in fact a product being developed by the company, prosecutors added.
(3) And, because we knew that TV had to play a part in here somewhere, proof that Americans aren't the only people who do stupid shit on reality shows.
Now, further reading puts the show in better light-- at least it didn't end with bloodshed and it speaks well for both cultures, but I'm still wondering if they had trial runs of that one...
(4) Proof now that people will do anything to get out of a day in court. Including die. Way to inconvenience us, Ken!
(5) Now, when I was in high school, I advocated legalizing prostitution to create revenue for the state. Proof that Republicans don't read the fine print of liberal proposals.
(6) I have friends in grad school, lots of friends, in many different fields. This, however, seems to prove them wrong about not having time for pointless things. Or maybe it's just a Texas thing... who knows.
(7) Classicists around the world rejoice in the proof that Latin isn't dead after all, matris fuckers.
(8) I know I posted this earlier and promised commentary, and it will come, but for now it will find its place here as proof that we are humane, fallible, and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm so cute when I'm being humanitarian. Now back to reading, I don't pay you below minimum wage for nothing!
(9) Since I started off on such a bad note, I thought I'd give you proof of a higher power. And if you don't like ice cream sundaes, no matter how they're made, then you need to go back to your childhood and kick your parents because they obviously used the delicious wonderful substance known as ice cream to torture you.
and last, but NOWHERE near least... for all you LOSTnesday fans out there...
(10) Proof there is a God
The end.
Until next time, from City of Decatur where the men are gay, the women are bull dykes, and the children snort too much coke.
Oh, and the city tries to choke its local restaurants to death with never-ending construction. Yes, that's the restaurant at which I work. And Matt lied, revenue is actually down 60%... I know, right? And the city isn't doing shit about it.
(1) New Number One: Proof that there are Snakes on the Muthafuckin' plane.
You know you're going to go see that movie. All your snakes are belong to us, bitch.
1b:
Go here. The username is "agentflynn" and the password is "fbi". Now, go to the Audio&Video, then listen to the audio clip "We Got Snakes"
brilliant
(1) Starting us off this week is Further Proof there is NO GOD. THanks to a minor league baseball team (and yes, this has knocked minor league baseball out of my sports prospects) Top Gun has forever been stained by the inadequate intelligence of Jeff Joseph and Company of the Mavericks.
"It was originally going to be a `Top Gun' ... anniversary promotion and it just sort of evolved from there," said Jeff Joseph, a spokesman for the Single-A California League team. Cruise's character was named Maverick in the 1986 film.
HOW THE FUCK do you get from one of the most awesome movies of all time to a fucking tribute to Scientology?! HOW?! My brain is fried, must move on to other news...
(2) Next, proof that Coke really does rule and you shouldn't fuck with that secret recipie.
Really, though, who thought that was a good idea?
Obviously the person who didn't think about security cameras.
Video surveillance showed Williams at her desk at Coke headquarters going through multiple files looking for documents and stuffing them into bags.
She also was observed holding a liquid container with a white label, which resembled the description of a new Coca-Cola product sample, before placing it into her personal bag, prosecutors say. Coca-Cola later verified the sample was genuine and is in fact a product being developed by the company, prosecutors added.
(3) And, because we knew that TV had to play a part in here somewhere, proof that Americans aren't the only people who do stupid shit on reality shows.
Now, further reading puts the show in better light-- at least it didn't end with bloodshed and it speaks well for both cultures, but I'm still wondering if they had trial runs of that one...
(4) Proof now that people will do anything to get out of a day in court. Including die. Way to inconvenience us, Ken!
(5) Now, when I was in high school, I advocated legalizing prostitution to create revenue for the state. Proof that Republicans don't read the fine print of liberal proposals.
(6) I have friends in grad school, lots of friends, in many different fields. This, however, seems to prove them wrong about not having time for pointless things. Or maybe it's just a Texas thing... who knows.
(7) Classicists around the world rejoice in the proof that Latin isn't dead after all, matris fuckers.
(8) I know I posted this earlier and promised commentary, and it will come, but for now it will find its place here as proof that we are humane, fallible, and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm so cute when I'm being humanitarian. Now back to reading, I don't pay you below minimum wage for nothing!
(9) Since I started off on such a bad note, I thought I'd give you proof of a higher power. And if you don't like ice cream sundaes, no matter how they're made, then you need to go back to your childhood and kick your parents because they obviously used the delicious wonderful substance known as ice cream to torture you.
and last, but NOWHERE near least... for all you LOSTnesday fans out there...
(10) Proof there is a God
The end.
Until next time, from City of Decatur where the men are gay, the women are bull dykes, and the children snort too much coke.
Oh, and the city tries to choke its local restaurants to death with never-ending construction. Yes, that's the restaurant at which I work. And Matt lied, revenue is actually down 60%... I know, right? And the city isn't doing shit about it.