Transparency
As usual, it’s been a while…and I’ve missed you so.
I never want to force my hands when it comes to posting. This is important to me, and I never want to take these times, my memories, and my friendships for granted. In truth, I’ve had a lot of things on my mind. Thoughts and emotions I wanted to share. But I haven’t been able to organize my thoughts into words, or hold on to them long enough to make sense of it all. Furthermore, time hasn’t been on my side.
Regardless, this will be the last post before the weekend of Coachella and I want to put something here to recap the time since the last time I’ve written to you. Speaking of Coachella, if there’s anything any ones wants from the event or from California (within reason), please tell me and I will do my best : )
Well…these past weeks have been much like the ones before…nonstop. It’s been a collage of laughter, alcohol, dancing, parties, water activities, and everything in between. Although time has made most of these memories and moments more distant and faded, there are certain memories that will live forever in my heart and mind.
There was some social turbulence, which was to be expected. After all, I’m bound to get a little wet dancing in the eye of the tornado (aka Gainesville social scene). It has been other people’s drama for the most part. I do my best to comfort them anyway I can, but I don’t want to get in the middle…. nor do I want to medal with the intended natural out comes of the lives of others. It not easy though, I’m not one to stand around idly but like my dear friend Lena told me yesterday “you can’t save all the wounded birds in the world”. I especially cannot help those who refuse to help themselves.
Too often, words can be meaningless and trite. The games and tricks we play only reveal the ulterior motive and the obviousness of the truth.
When it comes down to it, we are what we do, not what we say.
Nonetheless, I still can’t help but care about you anyways.
Drama is just a normal part of life, intensified by being young. And regardless of the degree, nothing can take away from the undeniable joy of the weeks that were. More sweet than bitter…More love than loss. It was our time in the sun. It was our dancing silhouettes in the moonlight.
Above it all, I recall so many moments of true friendship, care, and honesty extended to me by the ones I hold close. I embrace them tightly in my heart for they have left me with warmth to which no words can describe. I’m grateful to be so lucky…to have so much. I am sometimes ashamed of myself for wanting more.
[for a moment in time…it was to be]
[for a moment in time…there existed only us]
[and for moment in time…everything seemed to glow]
[paths cross, intertwine, and diverge]
[but for a moment, we can’t help but lose ourselves in each other]
[sharing something so familiar and yet so unfamiliar it fascinates us]
[and words freeze before they can escape our lips]
[I can feel the warmth of your gaze still on me as I look away]
[we press our palms together to keep ourselves from getting too close]
[but at the same time…not too far away]
k.
