Storms, Shock & Awe, and Saying What You Need to Say...
It's astounding to me. It truly is. THIS is why I can never get over you. You just drop me and leave me hanging. We never have closure, so I'm left with this void.
I thought you were grown up enough; mature enough...
You say you care about me. Well, obviously you don't. We've had this conversation too many times for you to NOT know what it does to me, and yet you do it anyway. That is the definition of not caring, and selfishness.
I DO care about you. And I want you to be happy in whatever you do. But you won't find happiness in ANYTHING until you can take responsibility for yourself and face people when you have a problem.
Keeping yourself busy is a cop-out, not an excuse. Things need to get done, paid for; I get that. But, a text message takes about 10 seconds, and if I'm not worth that, then I think it's time I should move on.
So, I am. I'm tired of hanging on like a beaten dog, hoping my "master" will start being nice all of a sudden. I'm tired of my heart jumping in my throat every time my phone buzzes, because it might be you. My heart has been trampled in the same fashion over, and over, and over, and over, and I keep letting it happen. I don't want to be mean to you; I really don't. But, dammit, I'm sick and tired of this. When I tell you something hurts my heart, and you DO IT AGAIN A WEEK LATER... then... I'm just gone. Let me know if you want to talk, but never again will I get my hopes up. Never again will I allow myself to be at that vulnerable point. If we ever talk again, and I seem cold, remember: that's YOUR doing. I've tried to be there, compassionate and understanding, and you shut me out. So, don't mistake it for acerbity.
Take care; I mean that. Just because I'm pissed at you doesn't mean I wish you ill will. I wish for you the capability of happiness. True happiness comes from God. When you realize that you're covered by the blood of Christ and nothing else matters, then you are capable of happiness.
Go; do what you need to do. Whatever it is. Maybe I'll talk to you, maybe not. At this point, I'm kinda hoping not.
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain."~ Vivian Greene
I thought you were grown up enough; mature enough...
You say you care about me. Well, obviously you don't. We've had this conversation too many times for you to NOT know what it does to me, and yet you do it anyway. That is the definition of not caring, and selfishness.
I DO care about you. And I want you to be happy in whatever you do. But you won't find happiness in ANYTHING until you can take responsibility for yourself and face people when you have a problem.
Keeping yourself busy is a cop-out, not an excuse. Things need to get done, paid for; I get that. But, a text message takes about 10 seconds, and if I'm not worth that, then I think it's time I should move on.
So, I am. I'm tired of hanging on like a beaten dog, hoping my "master" will start being nice all of a sudden. I'm tired of my heart jumping in my throat every time my phone buzzes, because it might be you. My heart has been trampled in the same fashion over, and over, and over, and over, and I keep letting it happen. I don't want to be mean to you; I really don't. But, dammit, I'm sick and tired of this. When I tell you something hurts my heart, and you DO IT AGAIN A WEEK LATER... then... I'm just gone. Let me know if you want to talk, but never again will I get my hopes up. Never again will I allow myself to be at that vulnerable point. If we ever talk again, and I seem cold, remember: that's YOUR doing. I've tried to be there, compassionate and understanding, and you shut me out. So, don't mistake it for acerbity.
Take care; I mean that. Just because I'm pissed at you doesn't mean I wish you ill will. I wish for you the capability of happiness. True happiness comes from God. When you realize that you're covered by the blood of Christ and nothing else matters, then you are capable of happiness.
Go; do what you need to do. Whatever it is. Maybe I'll talk to you, maybe not. At this point, I'm kinda hoping not.
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain."~ Vivian Greene