Repost from Angela...
Things you have to believe to be a Republican today:
Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him. A bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, A good guy when Cheney did business with him. A bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist. But trade with China and Vietnam is vital to the spirit of international harmony.
The United States should get out of the United Nations. But our highest national priority is enforcing the United Nations resolutions against Iraq.
A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body. But
multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
If condoms are kept out of Schools, adolescents won't have sex.
A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies, then
demand their cooperation and money.
Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. But, providing health care to all Americans is socialism.
HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.
Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science. But,
creationism should be taught in schools.
A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. But, a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is "Solid defense policy."
Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution. Which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet?!
Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a
conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
You support states rights, but Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have the right to adopt.
What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the 70 & 80s is irrelevant.
Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him. A bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, A good guy when Cheney did business with him. A bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist. But trade with China and Vietnam is vital to the spirit of international harmony.
The United States should get out of the United Nations. But our highest national priority is enforcing the United Nations resolutions against Iraq.
A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body. But
multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
If condoms are kept out of Schools, adolescents won't have sex.
A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies, then
demand their cooperation and money.
Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. But, providing health care to all Americans is socialism.
HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.
Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science. But,
creationism should be taught in schools.
A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. But, a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is "Solid defense policy."
Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution. Which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet?!
Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a
conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
You support states rights, but Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have the right to adopt.
What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the 70 & 80s is irrelevant.