Stay classy, Allston / Objectumsexual, or luna-ma-tic?
Dear Diary,
Just as I started lowering my head down onto my pillow, some ass-hat pulled the fire alarm in my building. I put on some pants, grabbed some water and mosied downstairs to the lobby. There are always false alarms in this area, but I'd like to not mess around in case of actual fire. The fire department came in less than 6 minutes, which is great. I always thank them for coming, even if it is their job. Mainly because if there ever really is a fire I'd probably sleep through that shit, and I want them breaking down doors and looking for that friendly brown-skinned honey if I'm not down there in the apartment lobby ... Anyway, they didn't even go upstairs to check the entire apartment bulding. Once they assessed that a fire alarm had been pulled by some idiot prankster, they just bounced. That's not so great. Because what if the fire alarm had been pulled for a reason?
Anyway, this happened at 1:20 in the morning. And at 2:45am, the fire alarm is STILL going off. I'm slightly inebriated, sleep deprived, and coming down with a swine cold... and the sirens won't stop blaring.
So why should I be the only one whose miserable? I might be a little out of my mind right now, but I am not making this up.
I bring you: Objectum Sexuality.
Tyra did a show today on Erika Eiffel, a woman who has always felt had romantic feelings for objects, rather than men or women. After the tragic loss of a bridge she crossed often as a child and eventually fell in love with, and being broken up with by her archer's bow, this woman had a commitment ceremony with the Eiffel Tower. She then legally changed her last name to Eiffel and now routinely checks up on her partner, though a 24-hour live stream online. She felt the tower's lonliness during a trip to France, because so many lovers visit the tower, but none of them feel the same for "her," the tower-- As she explains it, to use "it" would be to inanimatize it (her word, not mine).
But wait... there's more. The woman is polyamorous, so in addition to her relationship with the Eiffel Tower, she is in a relationship with (and has been sexually intimate with) a piece of what once was the Berlin Wall.
A licensed sexologist (no, I didn't get to see her credentials) then confirmed on the show that this was a real condition. Rare, but real. And it is not caused by some trauma, but is as natural and birthgiven as homo- or heterosexuality.
Soooo. Put that in your misery pipe and smoke it.
###
Just as I started lowering my head down onto my pillow, some ass-hat pulled the fire alarm in my building. I put on some pants, grabbed some water and mosied downstairs to the lobby. There are always false alarms in this area, but I'd like to not mess around in case of actual fire. The fire department came in less than 6 minutes, which is great. I always thank them for coming, even if it is their job. Mainly because if there ever really is a fire I'd probably sleep through that shit, and I want them breaking down doors and looking for that friendly brown-skinned honey if I'm not down there in the apartment lobby ... Anyway, they didn't even go upstairs to check the entire apartment bulding. Once they assessed that a fire alarm had been pulled by some idiot prankster, they just bounced. That's not so great. Because what if the fire alarm had been pulled for a reason?
Anyway, this happened at 1:20 in the morning. And at 2:45am, the fire alarm is STILL going off. I'm slightly inebriated, sleep deprived, and coming down with a swine cold... and the sirens won't stop blaring.
So why should I be the only one whose miserable? I might be a little out of my mind right now, but I am not making this up.
I bring you: Objectum Sexuality.
Tyra did a show today on Erika Eiffel, a woman who has always felt had romantic feelings for objects, rather than men or women. After the tragic loss of a bridge she crossed often as a child and eventually fell in love with, and being broken up with by her archer's bow, this woman had a commitment ceremony with the Eiffel Tower. She then legally changed her last name to Eiffel and now routinely checks up on her partner, though a 24-hour live stream online. She felt the tower's lonliness during a trip to France, because so many lovers visit the tower, but none of them feel the same for "her," the tower-- As she explains it, to use "it" would be to inanimatize it (her word, not mine).
But wait... there's more. The woman is polyamorous, so in addition to her relationship with the Eiffel Tower, she is in a relationship with (and has been sexually intimate with) a piece of what once was the Berlin Wall.
A licensed sexologist (no, I didn't get to see her credentials) then confirmed on the show that this was a real condition. Rare, but real. And it is not caused by some trauma, but is as natural and birthgiven as homo- or heterosexuality.
Soooo. Put that in your misery pipe and smoke it.
###