theology forum
Well, here's a more detailed look at my views on christianity and why I feel that way. It's interesting that it took an msn conversation to get them together.
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Jamie says:
lol... i'm so tired
Koyetay says:
I'd probably better hit the hay myself. Gotta go to church in the morning.
Koyetay says:
Man I hate that.
Jamie says:
oh yeah, i should drag my mom there
Jamie says:
i like church
Jamie says:
where do you go?
Koyetay says:
Well, you know how I was talking about questioning things?
Jamie says:
yeah
Koyetay says:
(Faith Chapel Pentecostal Church of God)
Koyetay says:
One of the questions was "How can a religion that says that at any given moment, roughly 4.6 billion people are doomed to eternal damnation be right?"
Koyetay says:
Only 30% of the world professes christianity.
Jamie says:
yeah
Koyetay says:
It's a tough one, that preachers usually shrug off saying "there are somethings that we just don't know."
Koyetay says:
Still, I believe that christianity is most likely the right path, but I don't think I can figure out who I am within that context.
Koyetay says:
And I was really hardcore christian at one time.
Koyetay says:
I was saved, at a bible camp when I was 13.
Jamie says:
yeah i was a christain forever but then you just start questioning
Jamie says:
you know?
Koyetay says:
Were you ever saved, you know, the whole sinner's prayer and whatnot?
Jamie says:
yes
Koyetay says:
Still are?
Jamie says:
yes
Koyetay says:
At this point, I reckon I'm probably damned. But, I figure I deserve no less, for my own personal reasons.
Jamie says:
lol... yeah
Koyetay says:
No, you don't know.
Jamie says:
fine, then why don't you tell me
Koyetay says:
No, I'm not gonna talk about it. As I said, it's personal.
Jamie says:
alright
Koyetay says:
Let's just leave it that I once did something that, whether God can or not, I cannot forgive myself for.
Jamie says:
oh good leave me wondering
Koyetay says:
And that's a lot more than I've ever told anyone about it.
[And the most I'll ever tell anyone about it. Don't ask me. Nobody.]
Jamie says:
are you sure you don't want to talk about it?
Koyetay says:
Yes.
Jamie says:
alright, but if you ever do, you can talk to me
Koyetay says:
Thanks.
Jamie says:
i'm serious i know people just say that sometimes
Jamie says:
but i really am
Koyetay says:
I don't want to discourage you from your own walk, but I can't do it. And now I feel like a hypocrite every sunday morning and wed. night (youth group), because I have to keep up the charade. There are too many people I'd hurt if I didn't.
Jamie says:
yeah
Jamie says:
I'm sorry
Koyetay says:
Don't. I've brought it on myself.
Koyetay says:
It's weird. Having known God in a personal way, I feel like not only have I let down my family, but Him as well.
Koyetay says:
But again, every sunday morning, little things keep bothering me.
Koyetay says:
Certain things said, the implied superiority shrouded with humbleness, the way we have to fix perfectly happy people, the way we destroy aeons of tradition.
Koyetay says:
Entire cultures have been swallowed within conversion's mouth.
Koyetay says:
Roots are very important to someone who has none. When I see people distancing themselves from their past because it's not an acceptable christian past, it saddens me.
Koyetay says:
In this battle of good vs. evil, we've destroyed so much.
Koyetay says:
Is it worth it?
Koyetay says:
I suppose, yes, looked at from the christian perspective, well, we've saved them from eternal damnation. But there was still a cost, and I'm not talking about the one Christ paid.
Koyetay says:
As you can see, I've given this a lot of thought.
Jamie says:
yeah
Koyetay says:
This wasn't something I decided on a whim.
Koyetay says:
I took christianity seriously when I was part of it. Makai once told me he really respected me for my convictions because I had the knowledge to back it up. I studied scripture, and the workings of other religions.
Koyetay says:
I studied the theories of creationism very intently.
Koyetay says:
They make sense, even the hydroplate theory.
Koyetay says:
More so than evolution ever has to me.
Koyetay says:
Scientifically, morally, religiously, I feel that it is right.
Koyetay says:
But not in my soul.
Koyetay says:
And if it doesn't feel right there...
Koyetay says:
I guess I'd be quite a handful for someone seeking to try and save me. Hope they know their stuff.
Koyetay says:
You still there?
Jamie says:
that's for sure
Jamie says:
yeah
Jamie says:
sorry, i didn't know what to say
Koyetay says:
's cool.
Jamie says:
but i think i can see where you're coming from kinda
Koyetay says:
Again, I'm not trying to divert you. This is just me.
Jamie says:
yeah, i know that
Koyetay says:
To paraphrase Joseph Camble, I wish I could devout myself entirely to one religion.
Koyetay says:
Of course, his problem was he'd heavily studied all world religions, so there was no way he could give any one more value over the other.
Koyetay says:
And that's just it, they're all right, from the right perspective.
Koyetay says:
Which is the basic tenement for the B'hai, I suppose.
Koyetay says:
We're all staring at the same peak, just from different sides of the mountain.
Koyetay says:
I don't agree with that, personally.
Jamie says:
yeah
Koyetay says:
It's a nice, feel good type quasi-religion that can never work.
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And that's about where we stopped. I think that's about as organized as my thoughts on the subject will ever get.
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