"Sacred cows make the best burgers"

Apr 01, 2002 00:14

"I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly." (Sir Winston Churchill ( Read more... )

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79 pennya November 4 2002, 04:03:04 UTC
I love our own jokes.. (ie duckie)

btw.. moo! hehe..

A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to
your neighbor.

A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to
your neighbor.

A REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty
for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing
you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for
then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You
feel righteous.

A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides
you with milk.

A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you
the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN-STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to
the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who
has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN-STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull,
and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN-STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them
both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the
milk down the drain.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the
other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow
drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you
want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are
one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce 20 times the milk.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live
for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know where they
are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you
have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count
them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open
another bottle of vodka.

A MEXICAN CORPORATION: You think you have two cows, but you don't know
what a cow looks like. You take a nap.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5,000 cows, none of which belongs to you.
You charge for storing them for others.

A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership
with an American corporation. Soon you have 1,000 cows and the American
corporation declares bankruptcy.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.

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