(no subject)

[kouyaten]

I'm not very happy right now. Problems from long ago have resurfaced over the last couple of months, and I'm afraid that it's making my brain crack up. Jarrad is talking to Tawnya again. Calls. Messages. Blah blah fucking blah. I dont get as upset towards him anymore. I'd like to say that it's because I dont hurt as much because of it as I used to, but I'm afraid that I'd be lying. It's hard for me to trust him given our past. He tells me that the past is the past and to deal with it, that he's not going to stop talking to her. I'm shaking because I'm so angry. And it's not just her calling. He calls her too. He talks to her while he's at work, while telling me that he's too busy to talk to me. It wouldnt shock me if they do lunch together and all that lame shit. I dont know what to do. I want to make him choose, but I know that I'd lose. If for no other reason than how he reacts to threats, I'd lose. He'd let me leave. It hurts. How can it still hurt after two years? Isnt this the type of thing one becomes numb to? I guess not.

On a lighter note, only a few more hours til the midnight release of Harry Potter.