I don't care, if you don't (7/?)
I don't care, if you don't (7/?)
~ 3,430 w, pg, (changmin/yoona) part i / ii/ iii / iv / v / vi
She sets her icy hand over his; no hesitance and only assurance. “Let’s not go back, let’s stay here - together.”
■ this fic is so hard to write omfg or maybe I'm just too critical cause it's my ultimate otp
“What do you mean?” He swallows down that spoonful of rice he regrets shoving in his mouth.
“Why do you care about what Donghae’s got to say to me?”
Changmin’s never been any good at thinking up excuses on the spot. “Uh...curiosity.”
Yoona gives him a doubtful smile but chuckles nevertheless. “You don’t have to hide it from me, you know,” She teases, eating the last piece of bloody sausage off his plate, “I know misery loves company and you’ll be thrilled to hear that you won’t be the only sad, lonely, newly single person in town.”
He holds in a relief sigh and strains a smile. She can think whatever she wants as long as she doesn’t find out about that.
“Alright, alright, I surrender,” Changmin jokes, raising both arms, “You see right through me.”
“More like you’re nearly as bad of a liar as you are an actor.”
She’s a good companion, but then again, she might have always been. Only he didn’t talk to her enough, or forgot it all.
“To be fair,” Yoona begins, pausing to take a gulp of water, “Acting is tough for idols. They’ll always say you should stick to singing short lines that lasts for precisely three seconds and dancing around on stage and yadiyadayada.”
“You mean, for you?” He kids, “I get half the lines, not including the adlibs”
Yoona grins despite her sarcasm and jabs him on the chest with her fore finger, “You must be sooo proud of yourself.”
“I am actually.”
She shakes her head a little, tugging a stray hair behind her ear and swirls her chopsticks around the bowl of cold noodle. “I’m the better actress between the two of us and don’t you ever forget it.”
“Sure,” he concedes with a nod, “I’ll give you that but that’s about all you’ve got going on for you.”
Yoona’s a silent creature for the most part. She looks tentative in the crowd, silky dark hair, covering one eye and bashful smiles like a kind, polite stranger you walk pass on an empty street in the loneliest hours of the night. When she laughs, Changmin used to think it’s to be humble but here, sitting side by side, at this dinner table with their knees touching, nothing is the same.
“What do you think of my acting?”
She perks up at this question, eyes widening for a second before they soften with warmth he’s yet to get accustomed to.
Yoona turns her gaze downwards, mumbles, “You’re really not that great.”
He blinks then burst out laughing like he’s told him the funniest of jokes. It’s been years and nobody’s ever told the truth - until her.
“Y - you’re not offended?”
Changmin takes in all the confusion writing on her face and laughs a little bit louder than he did before. “No, I’m anything but that! I know what everyone thinks on the inside but no one’s ever said
what they honestly thought to my face before.”
“But why would you want to hear that?” Yoona blinks, looking even more lost, “Wouldn’t you rather someone showers you with -“
“False praises?” He cuts her off, refilling his shot glass then hers, “No thanks, all I ever wanted was someone who could tell me what’s honestly on their mind.”
“Honesty isn’t always a good thing, Changmin.”
“It depends,” he shrugs, “If you accept the reality of things then honesty will always be a good thing.”
Changmin doesn’t miss the way her frail hands curl into a fist around those black denims or how her shoulders tense. Like always, he doesn’t know what’s in that mind of hers but for the first time, he’d like it if she’d share - let him in on a fraction of those stream of thoughts.
“Hey,” he starts after the long silence that has again, fallen upon them, “When was the last time you had hotteok?”
“Hotteok?”
-
Yoona’s sure that Seohyun saw them slip out; her fingers wounded around the arm of Changmin’s grey coat and him edging through the gap between the bathroom and the kitchen. When Changmin hauls her through the back door so swiftly that it makes her head spin, Yoona briefly wondered if she’d tell Jessica.
The cold takes the thrill of this secret outing of theirs to a new level and Yoona’s chest pounds so hard that it feels like her heart will burst through and lands in his hand. Yes, Changmin is here with her; Jessica will have to live with that.
“The weather’s definitely right for the occasion,” she comments grimly, looking up at the pitch black sky.
“It’s not like that’s going to stop us.”
Yoona swivels her head around to look at him then back to the road ahead of them and begins to walk, following the blinking street lights. Without another word exchanged between them Changmin follows her suit, catching up to her pace in no time. He makes sure that the distance is never too wide but never too close that their shoulders are rubbing against one another. Nevertheless, he radiates pure heat and Yoona’s unsure if it’s the quirk of his lips or his presence in general that’s to blame for the colors in her cheeks.
“If my manager finds out, he’s going to kill me.” She says aloud, unaware of how childish that must have sounded, “I’ve put on a strict diet.”
He snorts. “How long does this one last? Until the day you die of starvation?”
“Until the drama’s done.”
Changmin cocks his head. “Then they’ll make start a new one for the comeback and the one after that then after that too.”
True, she silently agrees. “Since this is your idea, if we get caught then I think you should take some responsibility.”
Yoona can feel glancing at her but she looks straight ahead, brushing it off. Out of the blue, he challenges, “If we don’t, you owe me a wish.”
She stops mid-pace and quirks a brow at this man who’s still so much of a boy, shaking besides her in laughter, “Really? A ‘genie’ joke? That is so lame even for you - stop giggling like a little kid!”
“Okay, okay,” He smoothes his hands over his thighs and pulls himself together, “Now come on, the faster we get there, the less chance there is that we’ll get caught.”
Yoona tries to imagine what would happen if they are found. Putting the thought out of her mind, an incredulous laugh rumbles against her chest and Yoona skips forward ad feels the wind whips her in the face, chanting this is not a date, this is not a date, this is not a date...
-
“Why do you want to freeze your ass off by sitting on the curb?” Changmin asks, finishing his can of beer and lining it up next to the last four, “There are two tables right behind us.”
Yoona hides her face in the lapel of her parka, muffling her voice. “Do you really want to get recognized?”
“So that’s why,” he mutters.
She glances over her shoulder at the ahjumma; busying frying the last of their order. Licking her lips, she eagerly tugs at the greasy box of the pancakes and takes two.
“It doesn’t have legs, Yoona, it’s not going to run away.”
“I know,” she smiles, then takes much larger bite than she is capable of swallowing, “I just don’t trust you to not eat all of it before I can get my hands on ‘em.”
Changmin rolls his eyes. “You can have the rest if you want to.”
With her mouth gaping open and ready to devour, the soaked serviette remained frozen in her greasy hand. She stares at him questioningly through the heavy set of fake lashes the makeup artist undoubtedly glued on. Yoona would never bother. Changmin remembered that week in the confinement of his dorm and how she would laze around on the couch with her hair pulled into a lazy bun and a face free of any trace of makeup. She is one of those low maintenance girls; a dying breed that he truly admires.
“You like them, don’t you?” He asks, his head cradled in one hand and taking in her puzzled face,
“Go on, finish it.”
“Don’t you like them?” She asks back.
“Well, yeah.”
Her forehead crinkles. “You haven’t had much, you’ve been mainly drinking since we got here.”
Changmin shrugs.
She looks annoyed now. “Then why did you ask me to come out if you’re not going to eat any of it?”
“It’s just an excuse to leave the restaurant,” he says tonelessly, taking a swig of his newly opened can of booze, “I get tired of having to stay in that cramped room, so full of people I have to pretend to be happy around.”
Yoona swallows. “Are you trying to say that out of all those people, she makes an exaggerated hand movements to try to explain something she doesn’t even understand herself, “You’re the most comfortable wi -“ she halts and looks around consciously, as if there’s any other candidate around then in a whisper, “With me?”
Changmin pauses to consider for a moment but answers like he never had much to think about in the first place. “Not necessary,” he peers over at her, dark brown orbs grazing over those hollowing cheeks. “But right now, you’re the only one who understands me.”
He thinks that Yoona still doesn’t know; that in all those nights where she’s laid next to him in complete and total solitude - she with the solemn curve of her bruising kisses and her cold fingers warm in his, had sedated the torture of grieving over an empty coffin. For that, Changmin is eternally grateful to her.
“Still,” Yoona clears her throat, evading his gaze, “Sitting out here in the cold with me like this…” There’s need for a deep breath and a sigh, she looks so under of what she’s about to say next, “You don’t care if we get caught?” She asks with a barely there quietness, knowing full well that the underlying meaning of that question doesn’t surpass him.
And the truth is, “I don’t care, if you don’t.”
Changmin’s dedicated years to orders and exactitude to a woman who tried so hard to make a break from it. Now he’s here, sharing hot cakes with her friend and watching her watching him like she’s trying to figure out how to undo all these knots within him before she can begin with her owns.
She sets her icy hand over his; no hesitance and only assurance. “Let’s not go back, let’s stay here - together.”
-
She should know better but to play with a brokenhearted man’s feelings.
But she’s broken too. Doesn’t that make them even?
Yoona doesn’t consider where she’s going with this when he tells her off his childhood; how he was this lanky kid that shoots hoop and ducks his head whenever someone looks his way. “You’re still lanky,” she tells him he bumps her and she sways into him. In return, Yoona drinks some of his beer and complains to him about the growing tension between nine girls that are women and how much it sucks to be this famous but collects growing pain over nasty comments over the tiniest things. She exposes so much of her insecurity that she almost expected him to pity her by the end of it but instead her pulls her up to her feet by the elbow, his grin not faltering once.
“I thought you never wanted to get back,” she points out, unsteady on her feet.
He laughs, at her naivety or her failure to stabilize herself with a nearby pole, she’s unsure. “We could walk all the way back to our dorms but that’s going to take at least two days from where we’re standing.”
“Not such a bad idea”
He smirks. “If you can actually walk”
“What do you think I’m doing right now?” Yoona snaps but is unable to contain her alcohol induced giggle before falling into his arms, “At least, that’s what I think I’m doing…”
“Are you always like this when you’re drunk?” Changmin mumbles loud enough for her to catch on,
“Jesus, I hope not.”
“How are you completely fine?!”
He holds her still and lowers his eyes to meet hers, teeth gleaming under the moonlight. “Says a lot about your alcohol tolerance in comparison to mine, don’t you think?”
She blinks up at him. “You mean that you’re secretly an alcoholic?”
“Ha-ha-ha, very funny, Yoona.”
Soon enough, she wriggles out of his arms and stumbles to her left then right then left again. “What do you think they’re going to say when we go back like this?”
“Oh I’m completely fine,” Changmin says nonchalantly, emphasizing on the ‘I’m’, “It’s you who’s pissed drunk and thinks you’re talking normally when you’re actually shouting out all your syllables.”
Yoona spins around and glares without any malice, really. “People talk, you know and they’re
definitely going to talk about this.”
“This,” he says plainly, motioning between the gap between the two of them, “This, doesn’t bother me if it becomes a topic of conversation -“
“It’s not going to look good, Changmin.”
The world is rotating so much faster on its axis than it did hours ago and Yoona blames that for the way her mind is spinning like a tornado. What is she saying? Good, if they’re caught like this. Good, if Jessica and Donghae have to watch with their own two eyes. Good, if it tears and rips at them like it did for her. But why does he have to look at her like that? So willing and unconcerned about how bad it’s going to be for his image; like it doesn’t matter as long as she keeps on laughing with him.
“Us,” his smile radiates as he flashes to her side instantly, hand warm on her back, “It’s not going to look good for either of us and you know what? I think I’m okay with it, as long as I’m taking you down with me.”
Without even realizing it, they’ve reached the end of the road.
-
Her arm’s linked in his, heels-cladded feet slipping against the squeaky clean floor and he tries to hush her, not really intending to shut her up but because it’s fun to hear her make even more noise. Changmin’s not hiding from anything, he has enough alcohol in his system to make bad judgment but somehow, he thinks he’s not going to regret any of tonight.
She drops down in one of the booth with a loud ‘plop’, slumping against the plush back rest.
Changmin observes the way she rolls into like she’s in her own bed and sighs, massaging his temple and calls out to the waiter watching them from behind the counter, “Can you get me two glasses of tea?”
The boy nods stoically, rushes off to fetch some right away.
“Is that our thing?” She inquires, sitting up slightly and cupping her face in her hands, “Tea and coffee.”
He sits down across from her with crossed legs and dead-pans, “Yes, because you never drink tea and coffee with anyone else. Obviously.”
“Well yeah,” Yoona replies innocently, completely oblivious to the sarcasm in his past remark, “I don’t really have anyone to do those things with, there’s not enough time to sit down and talk to someone -not just ‘how are you?’ ‘good’ ‘good’ but a real conversation.” She doesn’t look at him once in the midst of her conversation, not even when she continues, “Some nights, it’s so quiet that I think I might go insane because there’s not one little noise, just me staring out the window and waiting for the day to end so the next one can start.”
Changmin wants to ask her how she copes with all those long hours? Who or what does she think of when she looks out at the busy city? Is she scared that it will always be this way for her?
Instead he settles with a simple, “But you’re not alone tonight, are you?”
As soon as the words fly out of his mouth, Yoona lifts her head up - to share a look of mutual gratitude for being here together with alcohol on their breath and heartache in their chests but soon enough, she looks pass him.
Changmin cranes his head just in time to catch the Ray-Ban slipping off the bridge of Jessica’s nose.
-
Guess she doesn’t really need tea to sober her up after all.
Jessica doesn’t look at them accusingly, nor does she looks spiteful. Her face pales, lips quivering like she’s unsure of what she wants to convey and those expensive shades, they can only do so much to mask the conflict between her pride and emotions, battling to take root within her stare.
Do you feel it too, friend? That twist in your chest that you can only ignore for so long? Give me a little piece, Yoona begs, show me a sign that I’ve wounded you like you did me.
Changmin beats both of them to it. “Hey”
Yoona glances at him and wonders how would feel if he knew about his ex-lover and hers, together as lovers. What a joke.
“Where is everybody else?” Jessica enquires good-naturedly, though her grip on her handbag visibly tightens.
“Inside the joint rooms,” She replies with a soft smile that they all would expect from her, “As per usual, there’s too many of us and when put all together, we’re not exactly a quiet bunch.”
“Are you getting driven back with the rest of us?” Jessica changes the topic, her tone demanding and impatient.
Yoona moistens her lips and parts them before Changmin cuts in smoothly, “It’s hard to tell when they’re all going to be done tonight, maybe we’ll call a cab?”
And Changmin’s directing question at her with a silver of a smile, cocking his head to the side to prompt her a way to leave without any more hostility.
“Yeah,” she agrees, letting out a crooning chuckle as her eyes flick to Jessica’s, “Should probably call it an early night in my condition.”
The girl - her sister, her friend, her enemy - nods stoically, gaze burning a hole in Changmin’s skull then storms off to meet the rest of their colleagues.
“She doesn’t look too happy,” Yoona comments, barely able to hold in her glee at the bitterness seeping out of the older girl.
“Yeah,” Changmin murmurs, waving the waiter off once he delivers their pot of boiling tea, “She doesn’t.”
He fills the ceramic cup to the brim and slides it over to her, sighing. “Don’t think much about it; it doesn’t have anything to do with you.”
She almost chokes on the hot liquid sliding down her throat - it has everything to do with her. “A - aren’t you going to go after her?”
Changmin blinks up at her, shrugging off his coat and rolling up the sleeves of his navy sweater. “For what?”
“I don’t know,” Yoona tries her hardest not to appear so interested in his affair, “To explain to her that nothing’s going on - all that stuff they do in movies.”
“Do you want me to, for your sake?”
Yoona doesn’t know why this question makes her want to throw her arms around him and at the same time, shakes him so hard that he takes it back. He’s putting her first - why is he putting her first?
Keeping her eyes anywhere but him, she drinks to coerce her dry throat to cooperate. “It’s okay, it’s not going to cause a cat fight or anything. We’re too old for that kind of dramatics. But what about you? Don’t you think you should make sure that she didn’t get the wrong impression?”
He takes a sip of his tea, folding his hands over each other, “She doesn’t deserve it.”
That one’s going to haunt her for days to come.
~ 3,430 w, pg, (changmin/yoona) part i / ii/ iii / iv / v / vi
She sets her icy hand over his; no hesitance and only assurance. “Let’s not go back, let’s stay here - together.”
■ this fic is so hard to write omfg or maybe I'm just too critical cause it's my ultimate otp
“What do you mean?” He swallows down that spoonful of rice he regrets shoving in his mouth.
“Why do you care about what Donghae’s got to say to me?”
Changmin’s never been any good at thinking up excuses on the spot. “Uh...curiosity.”
Yoona gives him a doubtful smile but chuckles nevertheless. “You don’t have to hide it from me, you know,” She teases, eating the last piece of bloody sausage off his plate, “I know misery loves company and you’ll be thrilled to hear that you won’t be the only sad, lonely, newly single person in town.”
He holds in a relief sigh and strains a smile. She can think whatever she wants as long as she doesn’t find out about that.
“Alright, alright, I surrender,” Changmin jokes, raising both arms, “You see right through me.”
“More like you’re nearly as bad of a liar as you are an actor.”
She’s a good companion, but then again, she might have always been. Only he didn’t talk to her enough, or forgot it all.
“To be fair,” Yoona begins, pausing to take a gulp of water, “Acting is tough for idols. They’ll always say you should stick to singing short lines that lasts for precisely three seconds and dancing around on stage and yadiyadayada.”
“You mean, for you?” He kids, “I get half the lines, not including the adlibs”
Yoona grins despite her sarcasm and jabs him on the chest with her fore finger, “You must be sooo proud of yourself.”
“I am actually.”
She shakes her head a little, tugging a stray hair behind her ear and swirls her chopsticks around the bowl of cold noodle. “I’m the better actress between the two of us and don’t you ever forget it.”
“Sure,” he concedes with a nod, “I’ll give you that but that’s about all you’ve got going on for you.”
Yoona’s a silent creature for the most part. She looks tentative in the crowd, silky dark hair, covering one eye and bashful smiles like a kind, polite stranger you walk pass on an empty street in the loneliest hours of the night. When she laughs, Changmin used to think it’s to be humble but here, sitting side by side, at this dinner table with their knees touching, nothing is the same.
“What do you think of my acting?”
She perks up at this question, eyes widening for a second before they soften with warmth he’s yet to get accustomed to.
Yoona turns her gaze downwards, mumbles, “You’re really not that great.”
He blinks then burst out laughing like he’s told him the funniest of jokes. It’s been years and nobody’s ever told the truth - until her.
“Y - you’re not offended?”
Changmin takes in all the confusion writing on her face and laughs a little bit louder than he did before. “No, I’m anything but that! I know what everyone thinks on the inside but no one’s ever said
what they honestly thought to my face before.”
“But why would you want to hear that?” Yoona blinks, looking even more lost, “Wouldn’t you rather someone showers you with -“
“False praises?” He cuts her off, refilling his shot glass then hers, “No thanks, all I ever wanted was someone who could tell me what’s honestly on their mind.”
“Honesty isn’t always a good thing, Changmin.”
“It depends,” he shrugs, “If you accept the reality of things then honesty will always be a good thing.”
Changmin doesn’t miss the way her frail hands curl into a fist around those black denims or how her shoulders tense. Like always, he doesn’t know what’s in that mind of hers but for the first time, he’d like it if she’d share - let him in on a fraction of those stream of thoughts.
“Hey,” he starts after the long silence that has again, fallen upon them, “When was the last time you had hotteok?”
“Hotteok?”
-
Yoona’s sure that Seohyun saw them slip out; her fingers wounded around the arm of Changmin’s grey coat and him edging through the gap between the bathroom and the kitchen. When Changmin hauls her through the back door so swiftly that it makes her head spin, Yoona briefly wondered if she’d tell Jessica.
The cold takes the thrill of this secret outing of theirs to a new level and Yoona’s chest pounds so hard that it feels like her heart will burst through and lands in his hand. Yes, Changmin is here with her; Jessica will have to live with that.
“The weather’s definitely right for the occasion,” she comments grimly, looking up at the pitch black sky.
“It’s not like that’s going to stop us.”
Yoona swivels her head around to look at him then back to the road ahead of them and begins to walk, following the blinking street lights. Without another word exchanged between them Changmin follows her suit, catching up to her pace in no time. He makes sure that the distance is never too wide but never too close that their shoulders are rubbing against one another. Nevertheless, he radiates pure heat and Yoona’s unsure if it’s the quirk of his lips or his presence in general that’s to blame for the colors in her cheeks.
“If my manager finds out, he’s going to kill me.” She says aloud, unaware of how childish that must have sounded, “I’ve put on a strict diet.”
He snorts. “How long does this one last? Until the day you die of starvation?”
“Until the drama’s done.”
Changmin cocks his head. “Then they’ll make start a new one for the comeback and the one after that then after that too.”
True, she silently agrees. “Since this is your idea, if we get caught then I think you should take some responsibility.”
Yoona can feel glancing at her but she looks straight ahead, brushing it off. Out of the blue, he challenges, “If we don’t, you owe me a wish.”
She stops mid-pace and quirks a brow at this man who’s still so much of a boy, shaking besides her in laughter, “Really? A ‘genie’ joke? That is so lame even for you - stop giggling like a little kid!”
“Okay, okay,” He smoothes his hands over his thighs and pulls himself together, “Now come on, the faster we get there, the less chance there is that we’ll get caught.”
Yoona tries to imagine what would happen if they are found. Putting the thought out of her mind, an incredulous laugh rumbles against her chest and Yoona skips forward ad feels the wind whips her in the face, chanting this is not a date, this is not a date, this is not a date...
-
“Why do you want to freeze your ass off by sitting on the curb?” Changmin asks, finishing his can of beer and lining it up next to the last four, “There are two tables right behind us.”
Yoona hides her face in the lapel of her parka, muffling her voice. “Do you really want to get recognized?”
“So that’s why,” he mutters.
She glances over her shoulder at the ahjumma; busying frying the last of their order. Licking her lips, she eagerly tugs at the greasy box of the pancakes and takes two.
“It doesn’t have legs, Yoona, it’s not going to run away.”
“I know,” she smiles, then takes much larger bite than she is capable of swallowing, “I just don’t trust you to not eat all of it before I can get my hands on ‘em.”
Changmin rolls his eyes. “You can have the rest if you want to.”
With her mouth gaping open and ready to devour, the soaked serviette remained frozen in her greasy hand. She stares at him questioningly through the heavy set of fake lashes the makeup artist undoubtedly glued on. Yoona would never bother. Changmin remembered that week in the confinement of his dorm and how she would laze around on the couch with her hair pulled into a lazy bun and a face free of any trace of makeup. She is one of those low maintenance girls; a dying breed that he truly admires.
“You like them, don’t you?” He asks, his head cradled in one hand and taking in her puzzled face,
“Go on, finish it.”
“Don’t you like them?” She asks back.
“Well, yeah.”
Her forehead crinkles. “You haven’t had much, you’ve been mainly drinking since we got here.”
Changmin shrugs.
She looks annoyed now. “Then why did you ask me to come out if you’re not going to eat any of it?”
“It’s just an excuse to leave the restaurant,” he says tonelessly, taking a swig of his newly opened can of booze, “I get tired of having to stay in that cramped room, so full of people I have to pretend to be happy around.”
Yoona swallows. “Are you trying to say that out of all those people, she makes an exaggerated hand movements to try to explain something she doesn’t even understand herself, “You’re the most comfortable wi -“ she halts and looks around consciously, as if there’s any other candidate around then in a whisper, “With me?”
Changmin pauses to consider for a moment but answers like he never had much to think about in the first place. “Not necessary,” he peers over at her, dark brown orbs grazing over those hollowing cheeks. “But right now, you’re the only one who understands me.”
He thinks that Yoona still doesn’t know; that in all those nights where she’s laid next to him in complete and total solitude - she with the solemn curve of her bruising kisses and her cold fingers warm in his, had sedated the torture of grieving over an empty coffin. For that, Changmin is eternally grateful to her.
“Still,” Yoona clears her throat, evading his gaze, “Sitting out here in the cold with me like this…” There’s need for a deep breath and a sigh, she looks so under of what she’s about to say next, “You don’t care if we get caught?” She asks with a barely there quietness, knowing full well that the underlying meaning of that question doesn’t surpass him.
And the truth is, “I don’t care, if you don’t.”
Changmin’s dedicated years to orders and exactitude to a woman who tried so hard to make a break from it. Now he’s here, sharing hot cakes with her friend and watching her watching him like she’s trying to figure out how to undo all these knots within him before she can begin with her owns.
She sets her icy hand over his; no hesitance and only assurance. “Let’s not go back, let’s stay here - together.”
-
She should know better but to play with a brokenhearted man’s feelings.
But she’s broken too. Doesn’t that make them even?
Yoona doesn’t consider where she’s going with this when he tells her off his childhood; how he was this lanky kid that shoots hoop and ducks his head whenever someone looks his way. “You’re still lanky,” she tells him he bumps her and she sways into him. In return, Yoona drinks some of his beer and complains to him about the growing tension between nine girls that are women and how much it sucks to be this famous but collects growing pain over nasty comments over the tiniest things. She exposes so much of her insecurity that she almost expected him to pity her by the end of it but instead her pulls her up to her feet by the elbow, his grin not faltering once.
“I thought you never wanted to get back,” she points out, unsteady on her feet.
He laughs, at her naivety or her failure to stabilize herself with a nearby pole, she’s unsure. “We could walk all the way back to our dorms but that’s going to take at least two days from where we’re standing.”
“Not such a bad idea”
He smirks. “If you can actually walk”
“What do you think I’m doing right now?” Yoona snaps but is unable to contain her alcohol induced giggle before falling into his arms, “At least, that’s what I think I’m doing…”
“Are you always like this when you’re drunk?” Changmin mumbles loud enough for her to catch on,
“Jesus, I hope not.”
“How are you completely fine?!”
He holds her still and lowers his eyes to meet hers, teeth gleaming under the moonlight. “Says a lot about your alcohol tolerance in comparison to mine, don’t you think?”
She blinks up at him. “You mean that you’re secretly an alcoholic?”
“Ha-ha-ha, very funny, Yoona.”
Soon enough, she wriggles out of his arms and stumbles to her left then right then left again. “What do you think they’re going to say when we go back like this?”
“Oh I’m completely fine,” Changmin says nonchalantly, emphasizing on the ‘I’m’, “It’s you who’s pissed drunk and thinks you’re talking normally when you’re actually shouting out all your syllables.”
Yoona spins around and glares without any malice, really. “People talk, you know and they’re
definitely going to talk about this.”
“This,” he says plainly, motioning between the gap between the two of them, “This, doesn’t bother me if it becomes a topic of conversation -“
“It’s not going to look good, Changmin.”
The world is rotating so much faster on its axis than it did hours ago and Yoona blames that for the way her mind is spinning like a tornado. What is she saying? Good, if they’re caught like this. Good, if Jessica and Donghae have to watch with their own two eyes. Good, if it tears and rips at them like it did for her. But why does he have to look at her like that? So willing and unconcerned about how bad it’s going to be for his image; like it doesn’t matter as long as she keeps on laughing with him.
“Us,” his smile radiates as he flashes to her side instantly, hand warm on her back, “It’s not going to look good for either of us and you know what? I think I’m okay with it, as long as I’m taking you down with me.”
Without even realizing it, they’ve reached the end of the road.
-
Her arm’s linked in his, heels-cladded feet slipping against the squeaky clean floor and he tries to hush her, not really intending to shut her up but because it’s fun to hear her make even more noise. Changmin’s not hiding from anything, he has enough alcohol in his system to make bad judgment but somehow, he thinks he’s not going to regret any of tonight.
She drops down in one of the booth with a loud ‘plop’, slumping against the plush back rest.
Changmin observes the way she rolls into like she’s in her own bed and sighs, massaging his temple and calls out to the waiter watching them from behind the counter, “Can you get me two glasses of tea?”
The boy nods stoically, rushes off to fetch some right away.
“Is that our thing?” She inquires, sitting up slightly and cupping her face in her hands, “Tea and coffee.”
He sits down across from her with crossed legs and dead-pans, “Yes, because you never drink tea and coffee with anyone else. Obviously.”
“Well yeah,” Yoona replies innocently, completely oblivious to the sarcasm in his past remark, “I don’t really have anyone to do those things with, there’s not enough time to sit down and talk to someone -not just ‘how are you?’ ‘good’ ‘good’ but a real conversation.” She doesn’t look at him once in the midst of her conversation, not even when she continues, “Some nights, it’s so quiet that I think I might go insane because there’s not one little noise, just me staring out the window and waiting for the day to end so the next one can start.”
Changmin wants to ask her how she copes with all those long hours? Who or what does she think of when she looks out at the busy city? Is she scared that it will always be this way for her?
Instead he settles with a simple, “But you’re not alone tonight, are you?”
As soon as the words fly out of his mouth, Yoona lifts her head up - to share a look of mutual gratitude for being here together with alcohol on their breath and heartache in their chests but soon enough, she looks pass him.
Changmin cranes his head just in time to catch the Ray-Ban slipping off the bridge of Jessica’s nose.
-
Guess she doesn’t really need tea to sober her up after all.
Jessica doesn’t look at them accusingly, nor does she looks spiteful. Her face pales, lips quivering like she’s unsure of what she wants to convey and those expensive shades, they can only do so much to mask the conflict between her pride and emotions, battling to take root within her stare.
Do you feel it too, friend? That twist in your chest that you can only ignore for so long? Give me a little piece, Yoona begs, show me a sign that I’ve wounded you like you did me.
Changmin beats both of them to it. “Hey”
Yoona glances at him and wonders how would feel if he knew about his ex-lover and hers, together as lovers. What a joke.
“Where is everybody else?” Jessica enquires good-naturedly, though her grip on her handbag visibly tightens.
“Inside the joint rooms,” She replies with a soft smile that they all would expect from her, “As per usual, there’s too many of us and when put all together, we’re not exactly a quiet bunch.”
“Are you getting driven back with the rest of us?” Jessica changes the topic, her tone demanding and impatient.
Yoona moistens her lips and parts them before Changmin cuts in smoothly, “It’s hard to tell when they’re all going to be done tonight, maybe we’ll call a cab?”
And Changmin’s directing question at her with a silver of a smile, cocking his head to the side to prompt her a way to leave without any more hostility.
“Yeah,” she agrees, letting out a crooning chuckle as her eyes flick to Jessica’s, “Should probably call it an early night in my condition.”
The girl - her sister, her friend, her enemy - nods stoically, gaze burning a hole in Changmin’s skull then storms off to meet the rest of their colleagues.
“She doesn’t look too happy,” Yoona comments, barely able to hold in her glee at the bitterness seeping out of the older girl.
“Yeah,” Changmin murmurs, waving the waiter off once he delivers their pot of boiling tea, “She doesn’t.”
He fills the ceramic cup to the brim and slides it over to her, sighing. “Don’t think much about it; it doesn’t have anything to do with you.”
She almost chokes on the hot liquid sliding down her throat - it has everything to do with her. “A - aren’t you going to go after her?”
Changmin blinks up at her, shrugging off his coat and rolling up the sleeves of his navy sweater. “For what?”
“I don’t know,” Yoona tries her hardest not to appear so interested in his affair, “To explain to her that nothing’s going on - all that stuff they do in movies.”
“Do you want me to, for your sake?”
Yoona doesn’t know why this question makes her want to throw her arms around him and at the same time, shakes him so hard that he takes it back. He’s putting her first - why is he putting her first?
Keeping her eyes anywhere but him, she drinks to coerce her dry throat to cooperate. “It’s okay, it’s not going to cause a cat fight or anything. We’re too old for that kind of dramatics. But what about you? Don’t you think you should make sure that she didn’t get the wrong impression?”
He takes a sip of his tea, folding his hands over each other, “She doesn’t deserve it.”
That one’s going to haunt her for days to come.