she's staggering
she is staggering
~ 1,450 w, g, (boa/eunhyuk/donghae)
sounds like an exaggeration of teenage heartbreak, but it isn't, it’s boa
au (given by withoutchange) where boa and eunhyuk are best friends and donghae is the new boy in town
Sometimes over the summer, sitting under the hot sun, back of his neck and shoulders getting sunburned, Hyukjae would sit with his legs hanging in the water of Boa’s swimming pool. She’d lie on her back on a striped towel, flipping through a gossip rag and getting tanner by the day.
“You remember Yunho?” Boa asks then observe the paper cut she got from the magazine.
He nods. “Yeah, what about him?”
“He is such a senior year fling.”
Hyunkjae laughs at kick some water at her sun screen covered skin, “Not everything lasts as long as you and I.”
-
The first day back for senior year stirs an unsettling feeling in Hyukjae. His palms are sweaty and his steps are uncertain as if he knew he was going to fall face first and hurt himself. It’s that kind of feeling you get when you can feel a change coming - a change no one would appreciate.
Boa’s the opposite; she’s all tan and ready for a new year. She whispers - this is going to be the best year of our lives. There’s a look in her eyes that say these things - thrilled, high spirited. She drags him down the hall, to the information board where the class list hangs. His finger trails down the familiar names of friends and foes.
Lee Hyukjae comes first.
Her name isn’t on his list. Two lists to the right, there it was, Kwon Boa. They’re not together, not in the same class.
(Separated)
“We’ll still hang at lunch and after school and the weekends, it will be as if we’re in the same class,” she says nonchalant, unaffected, still smiling and patting him on the back so carelessly, “Cheer up, smile.”
Hyukjae smiles in hope of masking the unsettling feeling that he’s figuring out to be fear.
-
Three periods pass by in the same amount of time as three years.
Hyukjae spots her from across the hall, her smile so brilliant, her hair a flash of dark brown and the swing of her short skirt so far out of his reach.
He waits, still, distant and by himself. Meanwhile, he imagines the things that he could say to her. He contemplates a joke or two, maybe a repeat of his morning greetings, an invitation to lunch would swoop in later on in the conversation like the usual order.
“Hyukjae!”
She smiles, wide and happy. Arm up in the air, waving violently.
He breathes - the invisible weight that’s been lying on his chest is lifted, destroyed. His feet lead her to where he belongs, by her side so he pushes through the crowd, a little step each time, getting closer to where she stands.
“Let’s go,” his hand wraps around her small wrist, tugging her to come closer to his side, “Lunch doesn’t last forever, you know.”
“Wait, wait!” she’s tugging at his sleeves as she pleads with her eyes, “We’ve got to spend lunch with the right people since it’s such a precious time.”
He blinks. “But we usually sit with Lina and -“
But she was already gone.
A minute later she reappeared again, dashing through the main hall with an unfamiliar presence draped on her arm. Her fingers curl tightly around the boy’s arm, just like how Hyukjae’s fingers were on her wrist just a moment ago. Boa lets her hold slid down to his wrist then his hand, their fingers intertwined and Hyukjae can feel his blood turn cold.
One single, dooming thought sinks in - this could be the one.
“This,” she eyes the figure next to her up and down, “Is Donghae, he’s new in town.”
The charade starts.
Hyukjae sees the scene plays out in his head - they say hi then follow by nice to meet you, they look each other in the eyes and shake hand, their grip loose. Boa smiles, think they’re all friends and will live happily ever after - the three of them having lunch together, the three of them going to the movies, the three of them walking home together.
Her arm slips into his and the other into Donghae’s.
They start to talk, Hyukjae feels disconnected.
-
He sees her between fourth and fifth period when he has science and she has something that she always don’t turn up to, not so surprisingly, Donghae doesn’t turn up to it either. The lunch bell rings and they’d be conveniently leaning against his locker, her laughter welcoming him as he leaves the class room.
Today’s the same.
“Hyuk,” she calls his name, throwing her arms around him, “How is science?”
Donghae scoffs and ruffles her hair, the adoration in his eyes as he speaks, “Not that you care much about classes.”
She glares at him pointedly. “Not that you do either.”
“She can be annoying, can’t she?” Donghae says teasingly, putting an arm around Hyukjae and drags him away from Boa’s closeness, “Dude, what do you say to KFC - without her.”
“Hey, hey!,” she yells and pushes them apart, fitting right in between them, “I can hear you jack asses talking.”
Boa locks eyes with him. “Hyukjae would never leave me.”
“She’s right,” he buries himself in the chocolate brown eyes and gleaming smiles, “She’s my best friend, I don’t want to be without her.”
-
What once was a duo became a trio.
Donghae’s presence in their daily life became consistent. He’s officially one of them now, he can eat off Boa’s plate and she wouldn’t have a look of discomfort on her face, she doesn’t mind anymore when he takes a bite of her favourite burger, she smiles instead and it bothers Hyukjae more than it should.
Donghae shows them all a good time, he plays good games of basketball and his friendship was too genuine to be an act. It hits him one day that he doesn’t have a good enough reason to hate Donghae so he doesn’t anymore, he only feels admiration for Donghae, how far he has come and how far Hyukjae has been left behind.
Hyukjae doesn’t say it, he doesn’t have to because he knows for certain - Boa’s slipping away from him right under his fingers.
-
Boa starts to become more of a memory rather than a reality.
He hears the quick patter of her boots, the jangling of her bracelets, her laughter; he waits for her to pass by
him.
And she does.
She doesn’t need him anymore but again, why would she? Boa and Donghae, Donghae and Boa.
Hyukjae never fits into that equation.
-
“I’m serious about Donghae, Hyuk, he’s not like the other flings.”
She says to him one morning during their ritual Sunday breakfast.
There’s a quote somewhere - something along the line of boys and girls should not be friends, not because they’re not meant to but because they can’t be. Eventually they both fall for each other or in some tragic case (like his), only one fall and the other don’t.
Hyunkjae never thought the person he wants would be Kwon Boa.
But it is how it is and he can’t have her.
-
When it happens it hurts more than it really should. It feels almost as if a piece of him has been vehemently ripped away from his body. Sounds like an exaggeration of teenage heartbreak, but it isn’t, it’s Boa - a part of him has been taken away from him and it hurts, a lot.
She lets him know first. Hyukjae plays his part of a best friend and raise his voice two pitch higher to imitate the sound of an excited child, jumping around like a fool and repeatedly telling her about his happiness which reflects her own happiness.
Boa pushes herself off the couch and squeals, she looks so happy that she’s unrecognizable. “I better go now, Donghae and I are having our first date.”
He watches her walk out the door and thinks to himself - that’s a piece of my heart right there.
-
The summer comes quicker than any of them anticipated. But it’s here and they’re sitting by the pool, getting sun burnt all over again.
Sometimes it’s almost as if nothing has changed: his legs are deep in her swimming pool, she’s lying on a towel getting tanned and reading trash. They don’t say anything; only sit beside each other in comfortable silence listening to her neighbour’s kids loud water fights.
“Remember Donghae?”
“Yeah”
She flips over to her side and rests her chin on her knuckle. “He was such a mid-term senior year fling.”
“Not everything lasts as long as you and I.”
Boa grins, pushing the sunglasses down the bridge of her nose to meet his eyes. “Some things just never change.”
~ 1,450 w, g, (boa/eunhyuk/donghae)
sounds like an exaggeration of teenage heartbreak, but it isn't, it’s boa
au (given by withoutchange) where boa and eunhyuk are best friends and donghae is the new boy in town
Sometimes over the summer, sitting under the hot sun, back of his neck and shoulders getting sunburned, Hyukjae would sit with his legs hanging in the water of Boa’s swimming pool. She’d lie on her back on a striped towel, flipping through a gossip rag and getting tanner by the day.
“You remember Yunho?” Boa asks then observe the paper cut she got from the magazine.
He nods. “Yeah, what about him?”
“He is such a senior year fling.”
Hyunkjae laughs at kick some water at her sun screen covered skin, “Not everything lasts as long as you and I.”
-
The first day back for senior year stirs an unsettling feeling in Hyukjae. His palms are sweaty and his steps are uncertain as if he knew he was going to fall face first and hurt himself. It’s that kind of feeling you get when you can feel a change coming - a change no one would appreciate.
Boa’s the opposite; she’s all tan and ready for a new year. She whispers - this is going to be the best year of our lives. There’s a look in her eyes that say these things - thrilled, high spirited. She drags him down the hall, to the information board where the class list hangs. His finger trails down the familiar names of friends and foes.
Lee Hyukjae comes first.
Her name isn’t on his list. Two lists to the right, there it was, Kwon Boa. They’re not together, not in the same class.
(Separated)
“We’ll still hang at lunch and after school and the weekends, it will be as if we’re in the same class,” she says nonchalant, unaffected, still smiling and patting him on the back so carelessly, “Cheer up, smile.”
Hyukjae smiles in hope of masking the unsettling feeling that he’s figuring out to be fear.
-
Three periods pass by in the same amount of time as three years.
Hyukjae spots her from across the hall, her smile so brilliant, her hair a flash of dark brown and the swing of her short skirt so far out of his reach.
He waits, still, distant and by himself. Meanwhile, he imagines the things that he could say to her. He contemplates a joke or two, maybe a repeat of his morning greetings, an invitation to lunch would swoop in later on in the conversation like the usual order.
“Hyukjae!”
She smiles, wide and happy. Arm up in the air, waving violently.
He breathes - the invisible weight that’s been lying on his chest is lifted, destroyed. His feet lead her to where he belongs, by her side so he pushes through the crowd, a little step each time, getting closer to where she stands.
“Let’s go,” his hand wraps around her small wrist, tugging her to come closer to his side, “Lunch doesn’t last forever, you know.”
“Wait, wait!” she’s tugging at his sleeves as she pleads with her eyes, “We’ve got to spend lunch with the right people since it’s such a precious time.”
He blinks. “But we usually sit with Lina and -“
But she was already gone.
A minute later she reappeared again, dashing through the main hall with an unfamiliar presence draped on her arm. Her fingers curl tightly around the boy’s arm, just like how Hyukjae’s fingers were on her wrist just a moment ago. Boa lets her hold slid down to his wrist then his hand, their fingers intertwined and Hyukjae can feel his blood turn cold.
One single, dooming thought sinks in - this could be the one.
“This,” she eyes the figure next to her up and down, “Is Donghae, he’s new in town.”
The charade starts.
Hyukjae sees the scene plays out in his head - they say hi then follow by nice to meet you, they look each other in the eyes and shake hand, their grip loose. Boa smiles, think they’re all friends and will live happily ever after - the three of them having lunch together, the three of them going to the movies, the three of them walking home together.
Her arm slips into his and the other into Donghae’s.
They start to talk, Hyukjae feels disconnected.
-
He sees her between fourth and fifth period when he has science and she has something that she always don’t turn up to, not so surprisingly, Donghae doesn’t turn up to it either. The lunch bell rings and they’d be conveniently leaning against his locker, her laughter welcoming him as he leaves the class room.
Today’s the same.
“Hyuk,” she calls his name, throwing her arms around him, “How is science?”
Donghae scoffs and ruffles her hair, the adoration in his eyes as he speaks, “Not that you care much about classes.”
She glares at him pointedly. “Not that you do either.”
“She can be annoying, can’t she?” Donghae says teasingly, putting an arm around Hyukjae and drags him away from Boa’s closeness, “Dude, what do you say to KFC - without her.”
“Hey, hey!,” she yells and pushes them apart, fitting right in between them, “I can hear you jack asses talking.”
Boa locks eyes with him. “Hyukjae would never leave me.”
“She’s right,” he buries himself in the chocolate brown eyes and gleaming smiles, “She’s my best friend, I don’t want to be without her.”
-
What once was a duo became a trio.
Donghae’s presence in their daily life became consistent. He’s officially one of them now, he can eat off Boa’s plate and she wouldn’t have a look of discomfort on her face, she doesn’t mind anymore when he takes a bite of her favourite burger, she smiles instead and it bothers Hyukjae more than it should.
Donghae shows them all a good time, he plays good games of basketball and his friendship was too genuine to be an act. It hits him one day that he doesn’t have a good enough reason to hate Donghae so he doesn’t anymore, he only feels admiration for Donghae, how far he has come and how far Hyukjae has been left behind.
Hyukjae doesn’t say it, he doesn’t have to because he knows for certain - Boa’s slipping away from him right under his fingers.
-
Boa starts to become more of a memory rather than a reality.
He hears the quick patter of her boots, the jangling of her bracelets, her laughter; he waits for her to pass by
him.
And she does.
She doesn’t need him anymore but again, why would she? Boa and Donghae, Donghae and Boa.
Hyukjae never fits into that equation.
-
“I’m serious about Donghae, Hyuk, he’s not like the other flings.”
She says to him one morning during their ritual Sunday breakfast.
There’s a quote somewhere - something along the line of boys and girls should not be friends, not because they’re not meant to but because they can’t be. Eventually they both fall for each other or in some tragic case (like his), only one fall and the other don’t.
Hyunkjae never thought the person he wants would be Kwon Boa.
But it is how it is and he can’t have her.
-
When it happens it hurts more than it really should. It feels almost as if a piece of him has been vehemently ripped away from his body. Sounds like an exaggeration of teenage heartbreak, but it isn’t, it’s Boa - a part of him has been taken away from him and it hurts, a lot.
She lets him know first. Hyukjae plays his part of a best friend and raise his voice two pitch higher to imitate the sound of an excited child, jumping around like a fool and repeatedly telling her about his happiness which reflects her own happiness.
Boa pushes herself off the couch and squeals, she looks so happy that she’s unrecognizable. “I better go now, Donghae and I are having our first date.”
He watches her walk out the door and thinks to himself - that’s a piece of my heart right there.
-
The summer comes quicker than any of them anticipated. But it’s here and they’re sitting by the pool, getting sun burnt all over again.
Sometimes it’s almost as if nothing has changed: his legs are deep in her swimming pool, she’s lying on a towel getting tanned and reading trash. They don’t say anything; only sit beside each other in comfortable silence listening to her neighbour’s kids loud water fights.
“Remember Donghae?”
“Yeah”
She flips over to her side and rests her chin on her knuckle. “He was such a mid-term senior year fling.”
“Not everything lasts as long as you and I.”
Boa grins, pushing the sunglasses down the bridge of her nose to meet his eyes. “Some things just never change.”