lessons
lessons
~1200, pg-13 (krystal-centric, minho, amber, people)
youre a teenager. it's expected of you to be stupid.
a/n my teen angst written vicariously through them. bc krystal is a hormonal teenager too.
It's a whirlwind romance, and before it really begins is when it actually ends. The breakup is amicable, like they were never dating in the first place (despite the dull ringing in their ears), but no one's eyes are wet when they blink. Once, twice - still dry. The next blink and he's gone.
A lot of people will say that Krystal is unfeeling, but those are the people that don't know her all that well. The people that do know her come to realize that she's actually a glass case of emotion. Everything reads on her face. From that idea, you can come to notice that maybe she doesn't have the widest emotional range; when she's happy, she smiles, when she's sad, she frowns, when she wants to hurt you - she'll probably say it, but if she doesn't there is a sneer or scowl upon her face. She's basically a child, naive to the notion of deceit and openly jaded. Underneath all of that though, some might also say Krystal's just a bitch.
"But that's what makes you endearing," Luna tries hard.
Krystal doesn't buy into it and her expression says that. It's blank.
Amber laughs a little, then a lot. This makes her feel a little better.
"She's telling the truth," the taiwanese-american says, "boys like girls with tough skin."
Do they? Do they really?
The next break up is not as amicable as the first one. Krystal doesn't remember the previous one as well, but this one is surely to have more collateral damage. She thinks she's crying. She's not.
Minho looks like a big black blur for a minute with unusually attractive features. When he comes into clear view again he's a pretty picture. It's like waiting for the camera to focus for once, but you then realize the resolution is a little off, maybe it always had been, or maybe the scenery was never great to begin with. He's a pretty picture, but not a perfect one. She points out his flaws easily and it's written all over her face. He frowns.
"Why do you look at me like that?"
"Why are you breaking up with me?" Her voice comes out breathy like she's forcing it.
"We're not good for each other." You're not good for me.
"But I still want to be friends," he adds the last part like it's habitual. He's dated half the girls in SM. Abruptly, Krystal is annoyed. She doesn't want to be on that list of girls he's dated. Girls he's screwed over. Her frown deepens.
"No," it hurts for her to say it, but she does anyways. Tough skin, she thinks. Boys like that.
Now I just need to get some, is the after thought.
For the rest of her career, Krystal will go(es) through boys like she goes through shoes.
When you first buy the pair they're really nice. You pay close attention to them, clean them, make sure you wear them only to special occasions, and are sure to be extra careful. Then they drift to the back of your closet, the dirt starts to gather, they are worn to the grocery store, and suddenly you don't really care if the bottom is practically ripping off. After awhile, you need a new pair of shoes, even if it has only been a month or two. And thus, the cycle restarts.
The people that do know Krystal well now also start to agree with the people that don't know her all that well. She becomes unfeeling.
"What is your problem?" Jessica asks.
"What's yours?" Krystal is snarky in order to keep the equilibrium of being a Jung sister. Being nice is too mundance.
The older girl rolls her eyes and leans back into the couch, arching a brow. "You're throwing yourself around, it's kind of grimy."
She laughs, "I haven't been doing anything, promise. Not even kissing."
Too much info. Jessica scrunches her nose. Okay, she thinks. She never did the whole over protective sister thing anyways.
Victoria, on the other hand, does.
"You're becoming boy crazy," it's a serious intervention.
"Boy. Crazy." Shit just got real because she says it in english.
Krystal stares at her and arches a brow, glad that she didn't get the thick bangs her stylist recommended so that Victoria can see her incredulous expression. Victoria lifts up nine perfectly painted fingers, indicating how many dates that Krystal has been on since the past two and a half weeks. There's a problem here, she had said in Chinese. Krystal still doesn't get it.
"I'm young," she mumbles, "in America they're all like you only live once. Yolo." She's rationalizing and trying to hold the gagging feeling down. Americans are so stupid. That's the motto, fucking yolo -
"What?"
"Nevermind."
"You need to learn how to love yourself," is all she decides to say. Victoria is a leader, Krystal reminds herself. A Confucius-like-leader, whose words are annoyingly haunting, especially when they're the only things that echo in her head in the silence of her room. Damn it.
Make him angry. Make him jealous. Make him like you again.
She tries to do all three of these things. Even more. Tough skin.
It's not working.
She wants to be liked for the sole reason of being liked. She likes the attention. I'm young, is her thought process. Young enough to live and make mistakes, but I'm definitely not learning from them. Abruptly, Krystal feels old. She wants to feel connected for once, like really connected, and maybe not just used.
"Did Minho really screw you over that badly?" Taemin asks her. He feels bad that his hyung is a player. But, you know.
The question just leaves her speechless for a minute. She always has answers, even if they're just to be provocative.
"No," she decides to clarify after a string of silence.
"I screwed myself over," is the ultimate conclusion she comes to. It's not a pleasant one, but she's smiling.
Krystal stops shoe shopping all together.
Everyone in her group notices, their maknae is home more often now. Even Jessica is surprised to see her around time from time. The glass case starts to clear up again when she starts smiling, and more people start to notice her. Minho does one day, he's sitting around, and then he sees her - like, really sees her, and something is different.
"Haven't seen you around," Minho blinks.
She glances over and freezes. There's a dull ache, but that feeling passes as quickly as it comes.
"Well, I've been around," Krystal sits down next to him easily.
"You look good, Soojung."
She doesn't flinch, doesnt breathe, doesn't smile.
"I know."
"So, what's up with the whole independent woman shit?" Amber looks at her.
Krystal laughs, "I'm putting my boy days behind me. I need a man."
"The hell? Are you like .. thirty?" Amber snorts, but she's grinning all the same.
"Shut up," she says in response, but she really wants her to just keep going.
I'm growing up, Krystal thinks, I guess this is a part of it.
~1200, pg-13 (krystal-centric, minho, amber, people)
youre a teenager. it's expected of you to be stupid.
a/n my teen angst written vicariously through them. bc krystal is a hormonal teenager too.
It's a whirlwind romance, and before it really begins is when it actually ends. The breakup is amicable, like they were never dating in the first place (despite the dull ringing in their ears), but no one's eyes are wet when they blink. Once, twice - still dry. The next blink and he's gone.
A lot of people will say that Krystal is unfeeling, but those are the people that don't know her all that well. The people that do know her come to realize that she's actually a glass case of emotion. Everything reads on her face. From that idea, you can come to notice that maybe she doesn't have the widest emotional range; when she's happy, she smiles, when she's sad, she frowns, when she wants to hurt you - she'll probably say it, but if she doesn't there is a sneer or scowl upon her face. She's basically a child, naive to the notion of deceit and openly jaded. Underneath all of that though, some might also say Krystal's just a bitch.
"But that's what makes you endearing," Luna tries hard.
Krystal doesn't buy into it and her expression says that. It's blank.
Amber laughs a little, then a lot. This makes her feel a little better.
"She's telling the truth," the taiwanese-american says, "boys like girls with tough skin."
Do they? Do they really?
The next break up is not as amicable as the first one. Krystal doesn't remember the previous one as well, but this one is surely to have more collateral damage. She thinks she's crying. She's not.
Minho looks like a big black blur for a minute with unusually attractive features. When he comes into clear view again he's a pretty picture. It's like waiting for the camera to focus for once, but you then realize the resolution is a little off, maybe it always had been, or maybe the scenery was never great to begin with. He's a pretty picture, but not a perfect one. She points out his flaws easily and it's written all over her face. He frowns.
"Why do you look at me like that?"
"Why are you breaking up with me?" Her voice comes out breathy like she's forcing it.
"We're not good for each other." You're not good for me.
"But I still want to be friends," he adds the last part like it's habitual. He's dated half the girls in SM. Abruptly, Krystal is annoyed. She doesn't want to be on that list of girls he's dated. Girls he's screwed over. Her frown deepens.
"No," it hurts for her to say it, but she does anyways. Tough skin, she thinks. Boys like that.
Now I just need to get some, is the after thought.
For the rest of her career, Krystal will go(es) through boys like she goes through shoes.
When you first buy the pair they're really nice. You pay close attention to them, clean them, make sure you wear them only to special occasions, and are sure to be extra careful. Then they drift to the back of your closet, the dirt starts to gather, they are worn to the grocery store, and suddenly you don't really care if the bottom is practically ripping off. After awhile, you need a new pair of shoes, even if it has only been a month or two. And thus, the cycle restarts.
The people that do know Krystal well now also start to agree with the people that don't know her all that well. She becomes unfeeling.
"What is your problem?" Jessica asks.
"What's yours?" Krystal is snarky in order to keep the equilibrium of being a Jung sister. Being nice is too mundance.
The older girl rolls her eyes and leans back into the couch, arching a brow. "You're throwing yourself around, it's kind of grimy."
She laughs, "I haven't been doing anything, promise. Not even kissing."
Too much info. Jessica scrunches her nose. Okay, she thinks. She never did the whole over protective sister thing anyways.
Victoria, on the other hand, does.
"You're becoming boy crazy," it's a serious intervention.
"Boy. Crazy." Shit just got real because she says it in english.
Krystal stares at her and arches a brow, glad that she didn't get the thick bangs her stylist recommended so that Victoria can see her incredulous expression. Victoria lifts up nine perfectly painted fingers, indicating how many dates that Krystal has been on since the past two and a half weeks. There's a problem here, she had said in Chinese. Krystal still doesn't get it.
"I'm young," she mumbles, "in America they're all like you only live once. Yolo." She's rationalizing and trying to hold the gagging feeling down. Americans are so stupid. That's the motto, fucking yolo -
"What?"
"Nevermind."
"You need to learn how to love yourself," is all she decides to say. Victoria is a leader, Krystal reminds herself. A Confucius-like-leader, whose words are annoyingly haunting, especially when they're the only things that echo in her head in the silence of her room. Damn it.
Make him angry. Make him jealous. Make him like you again.
She tries to do all three of these things. Even more. Tough skin.
It's not working.
She wants to be liked for the sole reason of being liked. She likes the attention. I'm young, is her thought process. Young enough to live and make mistakes, but I'm definitely not learning from them. Abruptly, Krystal feels old. She wants to feel connected for once, like really connected, and maybe not just used.
"Did Minho really screw you over that badly?" Taemin asks her. He feels bad that his hyung is a player. But, you know.
The question just leaves her speechless for a minute. She always has answers, even if they're just to be provocative.
"No," she decides to clarify after a string of silence.
"I screwed myself over," is the ultimate conclusion she comes to. It's not a pleasant one, but she's smiling.
Krystal stops shoe shopping all together.
Everyone in her group notices, their maknae is home more often now. Even Jessica is surprised to see her around time from time. The glass case starts to clear up again when she starts smiling, and more people start to notice her. Minho does one day, he's sitting around, and then he sees her - like, really sees her, and something is different.
"Haven't seen you around," Minho blinks.
She glances over and freezes. There's a dull ache, but that feeling passes as quickly as it comes.
"Well, I've been around," Krystal sits down next to him easily.
"You look good, Soojung."
She doesn't flinch, doesnt breathe, doesn't smile.
"I know."
"So, what's up with the whole independent woman shit?" Amber looks at her.
Krystal laughs, "I'm putting my boy days behind me. I need a man."
"The hell? Are you like .. thirty?" Amber snorts, but she's grinning all the same.
"Shut up," she says in response, but she really wants her to just keep going.
I'm growing up, Krystal thinks, I guess this is a part of it.