[FIC] Deliverance - R - 797

[koushi]

Title: Deliverance
Author: koushi
Pairing: Cobb/Nash
Rating: R
Word count: 797
Disclaimer: I do not own Inception or any of its characters.
Warnings: Abuse, being an apologist for said abuse, ass o' clock writing that may or may not be coherent. TLDR: fucked up shit.
Author's note: Abstractly follows The Blue Look and is a response to Absolution.

Comments

[kirstenlouise]

I AM KIND OF IN LOVE WITH FIRST PERSON RIGHT NOW, JUST SO YOU KNOW. IF MY RB ENDS UP IN FIRST PERSON, I BLAME YOU AND KATIE FOR ENCOURAGING ME. Though first person porn, lol, IDK about that!

Warnings ahead of time for ridiculous quotage. I fucking adore your Cobb as it is, but actually getting inside his head is making me like squirm all over with a combination of fear and excitement. Naturally, I wouldn't have it any other way. I love being inside Cobb's head, however fucked up a place it may be.

There’s someone out there who would take you all over the world, kiss you in every city; someone who would hold your hand on long walks under the buzz of the city lights; someone who would tell you that you’re beautiful.

I know all of this, which is exactly why I have to swallow the key.

This is just beautiful and absolutely heartbreaking. Someone who would kiss him in every city.. GAH, MY HEARTSTRINGS FEEL SO TUGGED ON RN. You just show me these lovely little moments that could have been and two lines later you're reminding me that they're not. Can't I just live a lie for a while? ;_;

That said, I'm actually kind of surprised with the tact you've taken here. I wasn't sure if he was capable of breaking down his own motives---denial is definitely the word that comes to mind when I think of Cobb, lol. But I like that he is. I like how unapologetic he is about it. Realistic, but hardly about to walk up to Nash and say how sorry he is.

Here, I am God, here I’m not immobilized with the thought of self because I’m beyond the whole game of mortal existence: I’m out of the picture. All I see is you, and all you see is me.

I'm pretty much in love with these lines. They're terrifying and so incredibly fucked up. And that's exactly the way it is, too. There is nothing else going on but this warped little world that they're both equally entrenched in.

One more... The lines are only so thick, and I see you tearing at the sides sometimes. You swear that you can hear noises from the outside, and you wonder if maybe there really is something out there for you.

Seriously fucking choked me up, what the hell. Cobb is so lucid and yet so... not. There's clearly something wrong with him, but he's just so calm and collected about it, it makes everything that much scarier. I really like this calm inside his head, especially when I think about how likely he is to communicate with his fists outside of it. It's like the ~eye of the storm or something. I AM CONVINCED IT IS SYMBOLIC. DO NOT DETER ME FROM THIS BELIEF. I NEED IT.

I really, really love this piece. I have a secret love for epistolary fic, and that's kind of how this reads to me. Please write Cobb's inner voice forever, okay? Okay. ♥ ♥ ♥