Its all coming back
Lately the past few days I have been remembering more of my past than I have ever before. Mainly the times where my life got saved. For instance, Once when I was little, I forget my age, my mom sent me to my room b/c I was being mad so I started playing with a penny and stuck it in my mouth then it slid down my throat. I ran out of the room pounding aginst the wall, my mom came running over there and asked whats wrong. How I couldnt speak she knew I was choaking on something. So she started hitting me on the back very hard which help the penny go down my throat so I sowlled it all the way. If my mother wasnt there I could have died.
Another time was when I was at a beach no life guards was there. This was when I couldnt swim really all that good. I started swimming by the shore for like 1 or 2 minutes strait and I thought I was just swimmig down following the shore. Well when I got tired I decided to just stand up and rest. Well when I did that I realized the ocean pull me out far enough where I couldnt stand. I paniced and started shouting HELP!. Noone could hear me and I kept going under water b/c I had a hard time keeping myself up. My brother swam up to me and help me get close enough to shore to where I could walk the rest of the way there. If he wasnt there to hear me I could of drowned and died.
Another time is when my mom died. The night before I was suppose to go over to my mom's house for the weekend my mom called and told me to not to go over there this weekend. I went ok not even thinking about asking why and I regret that more than anything. And the next day she died. If she hadn't called me and told me not to go over there I could of died too. I regret more that anything how she saved my life but I couldn't do anything to save hers. I get really depressed over thinking about it.
I remember one time when I cut my finger in a vacuum cleaner when I was little it was really bad. My mom told my dad to take me to the hospital b/c it might get infected. He said no dont worry about it it wont. He was wrong it got infected and I got serverly ill. My dad cares more about saving a damn buck than me. Which is why I don't really like it hear living with him.
There are more things but I dont want to mention them all.
Ive been depressed lately b/c I have been felling alone. My brother and my Grandmother are the only 2 people who are family to me but they live in florida. So I don't get to see them much. My dad dosent seem like family to me. The only thing I have here to keep me calm is my music I listen too and my friends. Music is what I love most. I can start listening to it and cant stop. Once before I wrote my own songs but then I destroied them like I do everything else.
Another time was when I was at a beach no life guards was there. This was when I couldnt swim really all that good. I started swimming by the shore for like 1 or 2 minutes strait and I thought I was just swimmig down following the shore. Well when I got tired I decided to just stand up and rest. Well when I did that I realized the ocean pull me out far enough where I couldnt stand. I paniced and started shouting HELP!. Noone could hear me and I kept going under water b/c I had a hard time keeping myself up. My brother swam up to me and help me get close enough to shore to where I could walk the rest of the way there. If he wasnt there to hear me I could of drowned and died.
Another time is when my mom died. The night before I was suppose to go over to my mom's house for the weekend my mom called and told me to not to go over there this weekend. I went ok not even thinking about asking why and I regret that more than anything. And the next day she died. If she hadn't called me and told me not to go over there I could of died too. I regret more that anything how she saved my life but I couldn't do anything to save hers. I get really depressed over thinking about it.
I remember one time when I cut my finger in a vacuum cleaner when I was little it was really bad. My mom told my dad to take me to the hospital b/c it might get infected. He said no dont worry about it it wont. He was wrong it got infected and I got serverly ill. My dad cares more about saving a damn buck than me. Which is why I don't really like it hear living with him.
There are more things but I dont want to mention them all.
Ive been depressed lately b/c I have been felling alone. My brother and my Grandmother are the only 2 people who are family to me but they live in florida. So I don't get to see them much. My dad dosent seem like family to me. The only thing I have here to keep me calm is my music I listen too and my friends. Music is what I love most. I can start listening to it and cant stop. Once before I wrote my own songs but then I destroied them like I do everything else.