(no subject)
I decided to post again before i went to bed. maybe it'll make me feel better. there's nothing like having 2 eye opening moments in one night to make me re-evaluate the way i look at my relationship. i've been scared shitless all night about the first one, up until about 15 minutes ago when she called to say "goodnight". i'm really a mess of insecurities thanks to past relationships and basically not being able to trust the entire female race. this one's different, and i'd been fucking things up by thinking stupid thoughts about other guys. Thats why its my New Year's Resolution. Trust and Jealousy can fuck you in the ass if you let it. I'm not going to. This girl's a keeper :)
I hope i can patch things up with my friends eventually. its hard for me to swallow when i post a bulletin on myspace asking if anyone wanted to hang out and i get 6 responses back, and 5 of them were offers to get drunk. I just don't do it anymore. Now, it reaffirms my notion that people just looked at me as "the guy who gets drunk at parties and does stupid things". how about other things besides taking shots? i don't party and i don't drink anymore. i made a promise i wouldn't and i'm not gonna break it. if you can't handle it, then fine.
Ok, enough rambling...i'm tired............efliefhlihliehf il heilfh oehfhfp iohfp hifhiofhp hf
I hope i can patch things up with my friends eventually. its hard for me to swallow when i post a bulletin on myspace asking if anyone wanted to hang out and i get 6 responses back, and 5 of them were offers to get drunk. I just don't do it anymore. Now, it reaffirms my notion that people just looked at me as "the guy who gets drunk at parties and does stupid things". how about other things besides taking shots? i don't party and i don't drink anymore. i made a promise i wouldn't and i'm not gonna break it. if you can't handle it, then fine.
Ok, enough rambling...i'm tired............efliefhlihliehf il heilfh oehfhfp iohfp hifhiofhp hf