Let's Play: Faxanadu! part one
This one's going to be a change of pace from the previous LPs; this time, I'm going to attempt
to write in a narrative style. I admit, I stole the idea from oapboap, but I'm
sure he won't mind.
EDIT: I understand that before, the title screen wasn't showing up. I fixed that by fixing a really dumb mistake I'd made.
Elios.
I never thought I'd come back here... Not after what happened to make me leave. But I knew that
I had to return; something had been nagging at me in the back of my head for months telling me
to come home until I couldn't ignore it or drown it in drink anymore. I'd equipped myself with
the best gear money could buy, and was all set to fight my way back home if necessary... until
I met that goblin with the dice. I knew that he'd take me for all I'd owned, but whenever I
see those bones rolling, I lose my self control. Within minutes, he'd taken every penny I had,
my weapons, armor, and all my clothes, leaving me with nothing but my undertunic and shoes.
As I drew closer, I knew something was wrong.
It was then that my guilt hit me hard. I should have come back sooner. I should have ignored
the goblin, or at least stabbed him and taken back my stuff. I shook my head and set my
shoulders. After all, a man can lose himself in should haves and spend more time regretting
than doing. And I wasn't going to let the place I'd called home for over half of my life be
ruined by my should haves.
Inside, the castle looked little better. There was a pall over everything, and the streets
which had once rung with the sound of feet, hooves, and children's laughter now stood silent,
but for the listless footfalls of the few stragglers. One of them walked up to me, and without
even a hello, started ordering me around.
See the king, he said. That's what I had intended on doing anyway. But first, I reckoned I had
better get myself a pair of pants, whether I had to beg, borrow or steal them.
Thanks, lady. I asked where the tailor's shop was, not--
Guru, huh? Since when does Eolis have a guru.
I stopped into the home of an old family friend and asked to borrow a pair of pants. He shook
his head, said I had a lot of nerve showing up, and that we had bigger problems than a gust of
wind exposing my ass to the world.
Soon enough, I found this "guru." To my surprise, he was none other than Eolis' revered
minister. I'd heard rumblings of a major religious upheaval in my travels, but didn't realize
how big it was until now.
Seeing the odd look I gave him, he told me that the king had gone senile, and only let people
wearing ostentatious jewelry in to see him.
Old Bill, just like I remember him: Smokin' like a chimney and pretending to lean against an
invisible wall. He told me once that his daddy was the last man to perform a forbidden art
called "mime," and that this was his way of remembering him. Whatever it was, it creeped me
the hell out.
He never was one to get excited about anything. Even if everyone else in town ran out, he'd
still be there, sucking down his pipe-weed until the moment a Dwarf pushed him over and
snuffed out his lights.
On the other side of the bridge, I encountered my first physical evidence of Dwarves:
Pricklies. Barely a threat to anyone with working knees.
Thirst can drive people to desperate acts. Like walking through town with naught protecting
your nethers but a breechclout and an undertunic.
A short walk later, and I finally reached the king's keep.
I'd gathered that already, jarhead.
The king looked much as I remembered from his daily walks through town when I was younger,
although his face bore many more lines, and his beard was many inches longer. I did not kneel,
but he did not seem to care. Indeed, as I approached, he stood up, doing what I took to be an
impatient dance.
He stared at me for a moment, until I produced the ring that the guru had given me.
That's what everyone keeps saying.
The scuttlebutt around town was that the king, addled as he was, would forget that he had seen
someone a scant few minutes before, and give them more money if their pockets were empty. I
decided to exploit that to the best of my ability.
This bulky man gave me a lesson in the elven arts of war, leaving me feeling stronger and healthier than I had since I was a child.
I resisted the urge to criticize the old man's outdated style and listened to his advice.
Suddenly, I felt possibilities I'd never even considered before opening before me. If only I
knew any magic...
I passed Old Bill, and he asked me a simple, yet important question.
I knew where my next destination was:
When I was younger, they were called weapons and armor.
Knowing that I would not get anywhere without a weapon, I bought the dagger. I lacked the funds
to buy everything else he was offering, so I moved on.
Seems Will the keysmith had taken up smoking since I'd last seen him. I couldn't say I blamed
him.
Seeing the solution to my funding problems, I promptly bought three keys and returned to the
king.
He gave me another purse of moneys, but when I talked to him again...
And with that, he fell silent. I shook my head and left.
I returned to the shop and bought the remaining items that the keeper had to offer, then paid
the guru one more visit before leaving.
The man who'd greeted me at the town's gate had more directions for me.
Apolune. I'd been there once as a child, when my family went there to visit a cousin. Something
happened that night, and we never went back to that place.
Before I could leave the "safety" of Eolis's walls, I was accosted by a strange creature.
I had seen woodcuts of these strange creatures. In some places, they were called leapers, in
others, head-legs. I didn't care what they were called, I only cared if I could stab it to
death before it could kill me.
Beyond him was the door that would take me to Apolune.
Times truly had changed; during my childhood, the door was never locked, and visitors from
other towns came almost daily. I was prepared, however, having stocked myself with keys from
Will's shop.
On the other side of the door was a familiar sight:
The enormous, comforting roots of the World Tree. I'd spent many days of my childhood climbing
these roots, and even now I could navigate them with my eyes closed. But I wasn't here to
relive the past: I was here to bring life back to the town, and maybe in some way atone for my
misdeeds.
Some joker had cut down the stairway that lead travelers safely upwards, leaving me to ascend
using the rope ladders that remained.
Further on, I found some lesser Dwarfs. These guys couldn't outwit a kobold: Even a kobold
figures out that if someone stabs you, you should try not to walk into the pointy part of him
again.
Above was another shop, purporting to sell "exotic goods" at many times the price a reasonable
man would pay.
I learned that the pricklies, while untouchable by my tiny blade, were quite vulnerable to
Deluge, a couple shots of the spell cracking their shells open.
Prickly meat is a delicacy in many places, and no wonder: It is easily the equal of any shelled
beast of the sea, and far safer to eat without cooking. I dined very well that night.
At last, I had reached Apolune! The town seemed little changed, though there was a glimmer of
fear in the eyes of people I met, and with good reason:
The shop in town was more reasonable than that owned by the lone man I'd met on the path, and
offered something essential to my mission:
I eagerly bought the shield; after many encounters with the beasts I'd met so far, I was
thankful to have anything between myself and their teeth, claws and spines.
Tired and thirsty, I walked into the tavern to down a tankard or two of beer.
The barkeep and lone customer within seemed obsessed with something called a "Mattock."
Forepaw. When I was a boy, rumors circulated that the town was populated by men and women who
thought they were animals.
I paid the town's guru a visit, wondering if he had a title to give me.
I had my hand on my dagger, certain that he was going to do something funny, but all that
happened was him speaking a word that I couldn't possibly repeat if I tried.
He saw my confusion and wrote it down for me.
Feeling weary, I went into the clinic.
Elf nurses. The best kind.
If only I were staying in this town longer than one night... Oh well.
I decided to keep the paper with the mantra in the safest place I could think of, until I
needed it.
Having seen all this town had to offer, I moved on.
With the shield, I felt much more secure, and didn't even mind my lack of pants so much any
more.
Soon, I arrived at the entrance to the Tower of Trunk, but I decided to see what lay beyond
first.
Obviously, I'd need that Mattock first.
I dimly recall visiting this place once, but I'm certain the thick layer of slime mold wasn't
there at the time, let alone the pricklies.
I'd seen a bull-head fight in an arena many years ago. He seemed a lot more impressive from the
stands than this one did in person. I stabbed him and moved on.
Sleepy frogs. Usually, they keep to themselves, but this one had been cursed by Dwarves and
attacked me.
Finally, I reached my goal: The room which had once been a meeting hall for the many elven
guilds, but now was the home of a gargoyle:
Its eyesight was pitiful; no matter how it tried, it couldn't spit its fireballs straight
enough to actually hurt me while I stood in the doorway and cast Deluge on it.
Soon, I'd destroyed it and helped myself to the treasure it left behind, including the Mattock:
With the Mattock in hand, I returned to Apolune for a rest and to talk to the guru.
I wanted to meet the nurse again, but decided to press onward instead. There would be
opportunities for that later.
The mattock was a wonderful tool, cleaving through the stone in short order. Unfortunately, it
broke, so I left it behind and kept going.
Despite wearing mortarboards, these new Dwarves were no smarter than the blue ones I had
slaughtered earlier.
Floating spirits posed little threat, unless of course they knocked you off of a ledge. But
their meat was delicious, so I killed several of them and had a fine meal.
On a ledge above, I glimpsed something. It looked valuable, so I went ahead and took it.
I felt stronger, and my dagger cut deeper! Before I could revel in my newfound strength,
however...
You know how the legends tell of ancient artifacts surviving thousands of years of disuse,
waiting to give their power to a great hero who needs them? That's bullshit. The damn glove
crumbled to dust within a minute, and now my hand is stained an odd color.
Also, the eyeless snow-man knows Deluge and can't get enough of using it.
At last, I reached Forepaw. None of the people acted even slightly odd. Asking about the name,
I learned that the town's name was originally an Old Elven word that sounded like "Forepaw"
but meant something completely different.
Forepaw's shop was amazing. I knew I'd have to save quite a lot to afford all it had to offer,
so I set to it.
First I bought the studded mail, which had a kind of skirt covering my thighs. It wasn't pants,
but it would do for now.
After days spent killing snow-men and getting to know this town's nurse, I'd earned enough to
afford my first sword and the Winged Boots. The sword was far stronger than my old dagger, and
had the bonus of a longer reach.
The guru in this town, whom I suspect was a bit of a smartass, gave me a new title after all my
hard work:
I asked when I'd be getting a horse, and he just snickered.
The nurse and I later met behind the clinic, and... I'm sure you can figure out the rest
yourself.
People in town told me more of the water problem and its solution.
I already had the boots, but I decided that it was time to rest, that I could continue my
journey afresh the next day.
So, what do you think so far?
to write in a narrative style. I admit, I stole the idea from oapboap, but I'm
sure he won't mind.
EDIT: I understand that before, the title screen wasn't showing up. I fixed that by fixing a really dumb mistake I'd made.
Elios.
I never thought I'd come back here... Not after what happened to make me leave. But I knew that
I had to return; something had been nagging at me in the back of my head for months telling me
to come home until I couldn't ignore it or drown it in drink anymore. I'd equipped myself with
the best gear money could buy, and was all set to fight my way back home if necessary... until
I met that goblin with the dice. I knew that he'd take me for all I'd owned, but whenever I
see those bones rolling, I lose my self control. Within minutes, he'd taken every penny I had,
my weapons, armor, and all my clothes, leaving me with nothing but my undertunic and shoes.
As I drew closer, I knew something was wrong.
It was then that my guilt hit me hard. I should have come back sooner. I should have ignored
the goblin, or at least stabbed him and taken back my stuff. I shook my head and set my
shoulders. After all, a man can lose himself in should haves and spend more time regretting
than doing. And I wasn't going to let the place I'd called home for over half of my life be
ruined by my should haves.
Inside, the castle looked little better. There was a pall over everything, and the streets
which had once rung with the sound of feet, hooves, and children's laughter now stood silent,
but for the listless footfalls of the few stragglers. One of them walked up to me, and without
even a hello, started ordering me around.
See the king, he said. That's what I had intended on doing anyway. But first, I reckoned I had
better get myself a pair of pants, whether I had to beg, borrow or steal them.
Thanks, lady. I asked where the tailor's shop was, not--
Guru, huh? Since when does Eolis have a guru.
I stopped into the home of an old family friend and asked to borrow a pair of pants. He shook
his head, said I had a lot of nerve showing up, and that we had bigger problems than a gust of
wind exposing my ass to the world.
Soon enough, I found this "guru." To my surprise, he was none other than Eolis' revered
minister. I'd heard rumblings of a major religious upheaval in my travels, but didn't realize
how big it was until now.
Seeing the odd look I gave him, he told me that the king had gone senile, and only let people
wearing ostentatious jewelry in to see him.
Old Bill, just like I remember him: Smokin' like a chimney and pretending to lean against an
invisible wall. He told me once that his daddy was the last man to perform a forbidden art
called "mime," and that this was his way of remembering him. Whatever it was, it creeped me
the hell out.
He never was one to get excited about anything. Even if everyone else in town ran out, he'd
still be there, sucking down his pipe-weed until the moment a Dwarf pushed him over and
snuffed out his lights.
On the other side of the bridge, I encountered my first physical evidence of Dwarves:
Pricklies. Barely a threat to anyone with working knees.
Thirst can drive people to desperate acts. Like walking through town with naught protecting
your nethers but a breechclout and an undertunic.
A short walk later, and I finally reached the king's keep.
I'd gathered that already, jarhead.
The king looked much as I remembered from his daily walks through town when I was younger,
although his face bore many more lines, and his beard was many inches longer. I did not kneel,
but he did not seem to care. Indeed, as I approached, he stood up, doing what I took to be an
impatient dance.
He stared at me for a moment, until I produced the ring that the guru had given me.
That's what everyone keeps saying.
The scuttlebutt around town was that the king, addled as he was, would forget that he had seen
someone a scant few minutes before, and give them more money if their pockets were empty. I
decided to exploit that to the best of my ability.
This bulky man gave me a lesson in the elven arts of war, leaving me feeling stronger and healthier than I had since I was a child.
I resisted the urge to criticize the old man's outdated style and listened to his advice.
Suddenly, I felt possibilities I'd never even considered before opening before me. If only I
knew any magic...
I passed Old Bill, and he asked me a simple, yet important question.
I knew where my next destination was:
When I was younger, they were called weapons and armor.
Knowing that I would not get anywhere without a weapon, I bought the dagger. I lacked the funds
to buy everything else he was offering, so I moved on.
Seems Will the keysmith had taken up smoking since I'd last seen him. I couldn't say I blamed
him.
Seeing the solution to my funding problems, I promptly bought three keys and returned to the
king.
He gave me another purse of moneys, but when I talked to him again...
And with that, he fell silent. I shook my head and left.
I returned to the shop and bought the remaining items that the keeper had to offer, then paid
the guru one more visit before leaving.
The man who'd greeted me at the town's gate had more directions for me.
Apolune. I'd been there once as a child, when my family went there to visit a cousin. Something
happened that night, and we never went back to that place.
Before I could leave the "safety" of Eolis's walls, I was accosted by a strange creature.
I had seen woodcuts of these strange creatures. In some places, they were called leapers, in
others, head-legs. I didn't care what they were called, I only cared if I could stab it to
death before it could kill me.
Beyond him was the door that would take me to Apolune.
Times truly had changed; during my childhood, the door was never locked, and visitors from
other towns came almost daily. I was prepared, however, having stocked myself with keys from
Will's shop.
On the other side of the door was a familiar sight:
The enormous, comforting roots of the World Tree. I'd spent many days of my childhood climbing
these roots, and even now I could navigate them with my eyes closed. But I wasn't here to
relive the past: I was here to bring life back to the town, and maybe in some way atone for my
misdeeds.
Some joker had cut down the stairway that lead travelers safely upwards, leaving me to ascend
using the rope ladders that remained.
Further on, I found some lesser Dwarfs. These guys couldn't outwit a kobold: Even a kobold
figures out that if someone stabs you, you should try not to walk into the pointy part of him
again.
Above was another shop, purporting to sell "exotic goods" at many times the price a reasonable
man would pay.
I learned that the pricklies, while untouchable by my tiny blade, were quite vulnerable to
Deluge, a couple shots of the spell cracking their shells open.
Prickly meat is a delicacy in many places, and no wonder: It is easily the equal of any shelled
beast of the sea, and far safer to eat without cooking. I dined very well that night.
At last, I had reached Apolune! The town seemed little changed, though there was a glimmer of
fear in the eyes of people I met, and with good reason:
The shop in town was more reasonable than that owned by the lone man I'd met on the path, and
offered something essential to my mission:
I eagerly bought the shield; after many encounters with the beasts I'd met so far, I was
thankful to have anything between myself and their teeth, claws and spines.
Tired and thirsty, I walked into the tavern to down a tankard or two of beer.
The barkeep and lone customer within seemed obsessed with something called a "Mattock."
Forepaw. When I was a boy, rumors circulated that the town was populated by men and women who
thought they were animals.
I paid the town's guru a visit, wondering if he had a title to give me.
I had my hand on my dagger, certain that he was going to do something funny, but all that
happened was him speaking a word that I couldn't possibly repeat if I tried.
He saw my confusion and wrote it down for me.
Feeling weary, I went into the clinic.
Elf nurses. The best kind.
If only I were staying in this town longer than one night... Oh well.
I decided to keep the paper with the mantra in the safest place I could think of, until I
needed it.
Having seen all this town had to offer, I moved on.
With the shield, I felt much more secure, and didn't even mind my lack of pants so much any
more.
Soon, I arrived at the entrance to the Tower of Trunk, but I decided to see what lay beyond
first.
Obviously, I'd need that Mattock first.
I dimly recall visiting this place once, but I'm certain the thick layer of slime mold wasn't
there at the time, let alone the pricklies.
I'd seen a bull-head fight in an arena many years ago. He seemed a lot more impressive from the
stands than this one did in person. I stabbed him and moved on.
Sleepy frogs. Usually, they keep to themselves, but this one had been cursed by Dwarves and
attacked me.
Finally, I reached my goal: The room which had once been a meeting hall for the many elven
guilds, but now was the home of a gargoyle:
Its eyesight was pitiful; no matter how it tried, it couldn't spit its fireballs straight
enough to actually hurt me while I stood in the doorway and cast Deluge on it.
Soon, I'd destroyed it and helped myself to the treasure it left behind, including the Mattock:
With the Mattock in hand, I returned to Apolune for a rest and to talk to the guru.
I wanted to meet the nurse again, but decided to press onward instead. There would be
opportunities for that later.
The mattock was a wonderful tool, cleaving through the stone in short order. Unfortunately, it
broke, so I left it behind and kept going.
Despite wearing mortarboards, these new Dwarves were no smarter than the blue ones I had
slaughtered earlier.
Floating spirits posed little threat, unless of course they knocked you off of a ledge. But
their meat was delicious, so I killed several of them and had a fine meal.
On a ledge above, I glimpsed something. It looked valuable, so I went ahead and took it.
I felt stronger, and my dagger cut deeper! Before I could revel in my newfound strength,
however...
You know how the legends tell of ancient artifacts surviving thousands of years of disuse,
waiting to give their power to a great hero who needs them? That's bullshit. The damn glove
crumbled to dust within a minute, and now my hand is stained an odd color.
Also, the eyeless snow-man knows Deluge and can't get enough of using it.
At last, I reached Forepaw. None of the people acted even slightly odd. Asking about the name,
I learned that the town's name was originally an Old Elven word that sounded like "Forepaw"
but meant something completely different.
Forepaw's shop was amazing. I knew I'd have to save quite a lot to afford all it had to offer,
so I set to it.
First I bought the studded mail, which had a kind of skirt covering my thighs. It wasn't pants,
but it would do for now.
After days spent killing snow-men and getting to know this town's nurse, I'd earned enough to
afford my first sword and the Winged Boots. The sword was far stronger than my old dagger, and
had the bonus of a longer reach.
The guru in this town, whom I suspect was a bit of a smartass, gave me a new title after all my
hard work:
I asked when I'd be getting a horse, and he just snickered.
The nurse and I later met behind the clinic, and... I'm sure you can figure out the rest
yourself.
People in town told me more of the water problem and its solution.
I already had the boots, but I decided that it was time to rest, that I could continue my
journey afresh the next day.
So, what do you think so far?