Jul 03, 2006 22:12
My life officially sucks. I hate to complain.. well no I take that back - I love to complain.. but my life has boiled down to being so boring. All I do is work monday through friday from 8-6 and some saturdays. It's nice because I get paid well but the schedule is startin to get to me b/c I miss being random. I don't really get to go out. I have a couple of friends here in MS but I barely get to hang out with them. In fact, I think one of them doesn't even really like me that well, but that could be me being paranoid too. I miss Tuscaloosa big time too. I miss my life there!! =( I really do miss going out and just hanging with friends and everything. I mean its really good that I've been over here b/c I've grown up alot and am now more mature than most people I know but it sucks hearing about everyone else getting ready to go out for the night and I'm just sitting in bed watching tv b/c I have to work or b/c I have nothing else to do. I'd even take Montgomery right about now. And that's definitely saying something. It wouldn't be so bad if I had a vehicle, b/c then I could just leave one the weekends or whenever I didn't have to work. But nooooo I'm STRANDED. Gahhh somebody heeeeellllllpppp me!
I'm so up and down w/ my depression! One day I'm okay and the next I'm just not. I hate this rollercoaster that life is putting me on! I WANT TO GET OFF! LET ME OFF NOW! I just want to go back to the way things were. I did go out on Saturday night.. had alot of fun and got to meet alot of new people but it ended up being a weird night for me. Oh well. Had fun. Got to experience life outside the walls of my sister's house.
Destin trip is in a few weeks. Still not planned completely though. I don't know who all is going but they all need to tell me so I can know for sure!! I'm really excited about it though so it BETTER work out. I'm wanting to go to Tuscaloosa next weekend but I'm not so sure how well it's gonna work out soo... We'll see.
I suck with guys. I just don't even know how to act around them. I can't even listen to my own advice. Or the advice of "He's Not That Into You". When I meet a new guy I'm really weird around them. I put a guard up so I can't get hurt in any way, but I end up looking like a bitch or just strange. I need help haha.
Oh! Someone from my past kinda popped up the other night. It's strange how he does that. We go a long time w/o speaking to one another and then he'll randomly just get in touch with me. I mean we only talked through text for a little while but he said he was going to call me the next day and hasn't. Nor has he responded to my text. Soooo it was a shortlived comeback (not that I expected anything - just thought maybe we could be friends again but I don't think so) .. anyways.. WHATEVER. I'll never find a guy to actually date if I don't stop with the madness. I need counseling....like seriously.
And then for the guy that's mad at me. It's a really pathetic reason why but.. I tried to apologize (for something I didn't even do) and he won't return my phone calls so.. He's acting so strange about it. Maybe I can talk to him in a couple of days and reassure him that I didn't do anything!
Damn. My life sucks. Oh and I need to stop acting like I'm better than everyone. Cuz I'm really not. *that reality bitch slap hurt haha*