(no subject)
like no one is on-line. that never happens. am i the only one who isn`t doing anything on valentine`s? haha. i feel like a real loser.
i went cosmic bowling last night with justine, jessica, jace, jessica s., brandon, and nick. i came with justine and jace and met everyone else there. it was pretty fun. it was nice to get out on a friday night. i suck at bowling though.. but i did get one spare. haha. our clothes glowed in the dark, it was cool. i thought it was nice that brandon, jessica, jessica s., and nick just left without even saying goodbye. hm. so me, justine, and jace just stood around waiting for our ride. i`m really hyper at that time of night. i got home alittle after midnight. when i got out of the car i slipped on ice and fell on my ass. lmao. that`s proof that i`m a klutz. i couldn`t get up for a minute because i was so busy cracking up.
today i had like another breakdown. it was crazy. i don`t really know what caused it.. at first i was just feeling really anxious and i had like a really nervous stomach and was shaking a bit. i was in my mom`s room and saw a bottle of ephedra pills. i was pretty shocked. i know my mom is against all those diet pills and fad diets. i did, however, take one of those pills. i just took it randomly cause i`m just dumb like that. i didn`t think one pill could do anything. maybe that`s what caused my breakdown today? who knows. maybe i am just nuts. i was telling my mom and she said that i should clean or something to get my mind off it cause i have too much time on my hands. i was like wtf. i got really pissed at her and told her to leave me the hell alone. i ran up to my mom and started bawling. my mom came up a couple times to see if i wanted something to eat but i just told her to go away. i was kind of mad at her for not asking me if i was okay. i took a nap for about an hour. it made me feel alittle better but i`m still a bit sleepy. when i get really emotional i`m always afraid i`m going to say something i don`t mean. i would feel so terrible. there have been times i almost said i hate you to my mom. ofcourse i love my mom and could never hate her. i can`t let my emotions get the best of me.
sometimes i really hate my step-dad. i know i`ve said that before but i`m saying it again. there are times where he can be okay and i feel bad for thinking i hate him. but those times don`t exactly make up for all of his asshole moments. i`m thinking of writing a letter to him and say how i feel and all the things i hate about him and then just burning it.. that way i won`t hold anything back. maybe that`ll make me feel alittle better.
i`m getting my hair cut soon. i haven`t gotten it cut since november and i probably have dead ends. i`m basically just going to get a trim and bangs. i want long and wispy bangs. i`m just hoping they look good. i haven`t had bangs since the sixth grade and i`m wondering how i`ll look with them. i don`t even know how to style bangs. haha. i need to dye my hair too..
well happy valentine`s day. i hope yours was better than mine.
i went cosmic bowling last night with justine, jessica, jace, jessica s., brandon, and nick. i came with justine and jace and met everyone else there. it was pretty fun. it was nice to get out on a friday night. i suck at bowling though.. but i did get one spare. haha. our clothes glowed in the dark, it was cool. i thought it was nice that brandon, jessica, jessica s., and nick just left without even saying goodbye. hm. so me, justine, and jace just stood around waiting for our ride. i`m really hyper at that time of night. i got home alittle after midnight. when i got out of the car i slipped on ice and fell on my ass. lmao. that`s proof that i`m a klutz. i couldn`t get up for a minute because i was so busy cracking up.
today i had like another breakdown. it was crazy. i don`t really know what caused it.. at first i was just feeling really anxious and i had like a really nervous stomach and was shaking a bit. i was in my mom`s room and saw a bottle of ephedra pills. i was pretty shocked. i know my mom is against all those diet pills and fad diets. i did, however, take one of those pills. i just took it randomly cause i`m just dumb like that. i didn`t think one pill could do anything. maybe that`s what caused my breakdown today? who knows. maybe i am just nuts. i was telling my mom and she said that i should clean or something to get my mind off it cause i have too much time on my hands. i was like wtf. i got really pissed at her and told her to leave me the hell alone. i ran up to my mom and started bawling. my mom came up a couple times to see if i wanted something to eat but i just told her to go away. i was kind of mad at her for not asking me if i was okay. i took a nap for about an hour. it made me feel alittle better but i`m still a bit sleepy. when i get really emotional i`m always afraid i`m going to say something i don`t mean. i would feel so terrible. there have been times i almost said i hate you to my mom. ofcourse i love my mom and could never hate her. i can`t let my emotions get the best of me.
sometimes i really hate my step-dad. i know i`ve said that before but i`m saying it again. there are times where he can be okay and i feel bad for thinking i hate him. but those times don`t exactly make up for all of his asshole moments. i`m thinking of writing a letter to him and say how i feel and all the things i hate about him and then just burning it.. that way i won`t hold anything back. maybe that`ll make me feel alittle better.
i`m getting my hair cut soon. i haven`t gotten it cut since november and i probably have dead ends. i`m basically just going to get a trim and bangs. i want long and wispy bangs. i`m just hoping they look good. i haven`t had bangs since the sixth grade and i`m wondering how i`ll look with them. i don`t even know how to style bangs. haha. i need to dye my hair too..
well happy valentine`s day. i hope yours was better than mine.