you were only a figment of my imagination..
I AM SO SICK OF THIS SNOW. MELT GODDAMNIT. i hate winter so much, i really do. it was fucking below Oº today. there`s still like 2 months of winter though.. noooo =( i`ll die. winter always seems to put me in a depressed mood somehow. fuck you winter.
i recieved some exciting news yesterday.. for once! my parents asked me if i want to go to russia by myself this summer for like a month. ofcourse i said yes. a vacation all by myself.. exactly what i need. i need to be quite fluent in russian though so that gives me about 6 months to re-learn it. haha think i can do it? i`m gonna be kind of scared though.. i hope i don`t get lost. i have no sense of direction. lol. i actually have something to look forward to now.
my mom talked to me yesterday about how she wishes i would change my behavior around my step-dad. she said it`s been 1O years and i still ignore him. i even caught her crying alittle because she was so upset by this. i don`t know what to do.. yeah it would be nice to actually have a good relationship with him but it`s not as simple as it seems. i can`t really explain my feelings. i just really feel that he hates me and finds me to be a burden.. like i`ll never amount to much. i have a good relationship with my mom.. i can be a real dork around her and i don`t worry about getting yelled at for being stupid. i just feel so inferior to him. i wish i could change this.. i really do. i think this might be a minuscule reason that i have the problems i have.. but what do i know? i don`t know anything.
i am doing horrible in school..like REALLY bad. i haven`t done this bad in i don`t know how long. i am sucking in everything right now.
i`m attempting to dye my hair again tomorrow.. lol. i was having thoughts of dying it a chocolate brown instead.. but i think i`ll stick with blonde for now.
tootles.
i recieved some exciting news yesterday.. for once! my parents asked me if i want to go to russia by myself this summer for like a month. ofcourse i said yes. a vacation all by myself.. exactly what i need. i need to be quite fluent in russian though so that gives me about 6 months to re-learn it. haha think i can do it? i`m gonna be kind of scared though.. i hope i don`t get lost. i have no sense of direction. lol. i actually have something to look forward to now.
my mom talked to me yesterday about how she wishes i would change my behavior around my step-dad. she said it`s been 1O years and i still ignore him. i even caught her crying alittle because she was so upset by this. i don`t know what to do.. yeah it would be nice to actually have a good relationship with him but it`s not as simple as it seems. i can`t really explain my feelings. i just really feel that he hates me and finds me to be a burden.. like i`ll never amount to much. i have a good relationship with my mom.. i can be a real dork around her and i don`t worry about getting yelled at for being stupid. i just feel so inferior to him. i wish i could change this.. i really do. i think this might be a minuscule reason that i have the problems i have.. but what do i know? i don`t know anything.
i am doing horrible in school..like REALLY bad. i haven`t done this bad in i don`t know how long. i am sucking in everything right now.
i`m attempting to dye my hair again tomorrow.. lol. i was having thoughts of dying it a chocolate brown instead.. but i think i`ll stick with blonde for now.
tootles.