2 B
this is the shit i would never say to your face, i dont even want to say it here! but seeing as you will probally never read this, im gonna get this off my chest! do you remember the day after you and malik statred going out and i was talking about going to the beach and doing something? well...im at that point again! im just like.......BLAH!! this weekend, i had the best time of my life, i have never been on a real date like that before, and i was actually happy, its been a while since ive been happy, but then i talked to you and i realized, i was just settleing again, bu t this time i was ok with settling because, its not that he made me happy, but i made myself, i mean, oh there is no way to explain it! DAMNIT! its not the i was happy with derius, because , i mean, i geuss i was, but i would have been happier with you. saturday night i was so happy to hear all the shit that you said, liek you like me, and all the other shit liek that, but at teh same time you said stuff that.....i dont know if you were serious but you shouldnt have said it!! like that you will only hit me once. with all ive been through, that wasnt right! i dont knwo what else to say to you, were you serious? i was so happy saturday night until i had my bonecrusher and told derius i loved him, thats when i realized that maybe you didnt mean what you said. when you told me you were going to break up with malik i was SOoOoO happy, i sat at school all day thinking that i was fginally going to get to be happy, but then you didnt! and then you said i dont see me and the sophomore together through next week, i was happy until you said maybe we will, i dont know. i say i wont wait forever, but the truth is, i will, and i think you know that. im just tired of waiting! i left my bf for you, i....o god you just dont even know, the only reason i came back form the beach that day was to ask you out, jenny had talked me into it, but instead i had to ask if yo uand malik were going out. i just dont understand how you could talk so much shit about someone and then go out with them. OK so ive tried to not say anything about yall but now i need to! i have been in your position before and i have been in malik's position b4, so let me tell you, chances are hes cheating on you. he was going to tell you but since he saw how you got when you found out that some guy was feeling up on him he didnt. and if he hasnt cheated yet he will unless you give him what he wants. hes a SLUT (and liek i said before he needs to get tested) he liked it when the guy was feeling up on him, thats why he laughed, he didnt want it to stop there though, oh no, he liked teh attention, because its the attention hes bnot getting from you! he acts liek he cares, but really he just likes to be seen with you, YOUR HOT, who wouldnt want to be seen with you? when hes with you he feels like hes teh coolest little bitch around because hes got a hot boyfriend, but isnt there more to a relationship than just looks? and you....oh you! you like me, but you also like malik, or do you? you thought that i was moving to new york you thought i was going to kill myself, and your exact words to sarah was "...and where would that leave us?" you thought that getting a boyfriend would make things easier for me, i wouldnt get hurt, i would WANT to move, i could move on easier if i knew you had a boyfriend, but it just maeks me thin, arent you the one that settled? you thought that our realtionship, if we ever would have had one, wouldnt work because i live a bout a hpur away from you, so you found the person closest to you, the one you had talked shit about, and hadnt even known for a month, and you dated him because you felt like you had to settle. i stuck around and waited because i figured with a relationship like that wouldnt last, but it is! maybe igot the you pasrt all wrong but listen to me about malik, i was just like him once. i know what hes capible of, so watch your self. oh and do me a favor, dont ever talk to me about settling, are yous o dumb that you dont realize the only reason i settle is becasue i cant have you. the person taht would really make me happy. so take this for what you want to, you can say taht im just jealous, that i dont knwo what im talking about, you can say im a bitch, and that you dont want to talk to me anymore (please dont say that) but you know that this shit is true! i dont mean to be a bitch but someone had to tell you. oh and by the way, i was going to fuck last night, i was going to fuck his brains out, but all i could think about was you, and i didnt!