rant...
quick spill of emotions.
I am torn.
two different scenarios.
1.) stay in dallas, go to school full time in dallas. have job with money. pay off bills, save. have boyfriend. have cool apartment. back to san marcos after christmas.
2.) go to school in san marcos halftime so that i can live off campus. full time after christmas. work low pay job, be broke. no boyfriend. have friends, finish school in timely manner. build debt.
main factors, i love san marcos, don't trust my boyfriend.
the main problem with all of this is i have no balls. i don't want to break it off with john, when i know i shouldn't feel bad.
i have had the worst two weeks of my life. haven't heard from my best friend in a week when she knows what i am going through. benefit of doubt- something tragic has happened. or she didn't get my message or missed calls with my new cell number. called old number and hasn't bothered to call around for new one. your busy, i get it.
i feel shitty, confused and altogether pathetic. thanks for reading or not reading horrible entry.
I am torn.
two different scenarios.
1.) stay in dallas, go to school full time in dallas. have job with money. pay off bills, save. have boyfriend. have cool apartment. back to san marcos after christmas.
2.) go to school in san marcos halftime so that i can live off campus. full time after christmas. work low pay job, be broke. no boyfriend. have friends, finish school in timely manner. build debt.
main factors, i love san marcos, don't trust my boyfriend.
the main problem with all of this is i have no balls. i don't want to break it off with john, when i know i shouldn't feel bad.
i have had the worst two weeks of my life. haven't heard from my best friend in a week when she knows what i am going through. benefit of doubt- something tragic has happened. or she didn't get my message or missed calls with my new cell number. called old number and hasn't bothered to call around for new one. your busy, i get it.
i feel shitty, confused and altogether pathetic. thanks for reading or not reading horrible entry.