Ficbit: Nagase.
Sakurai sighed in the bathroom mirror.
“What’s up?” Asked Nino, a nearby public bathroom pee-er.
“Sometimes I wish I had more masculine lips.”
“About that, I know a guy with great tips.”
“If you know a guy like that, send him my way!”
And so Nino did, that very same day.
At the dressing room door appeared Tomoya Nagase.
Nino smiled and let him in, “He’s right over there.”
Everyone stopped to watch, even Jun who had been doing his hair.
Nagase strolled to Sho who had been eating lunch in his seat,
And with a glance at the food, only vegies and sweets;
Knocked the bento to the floor and pulled Sho up to his feet.
“Sakurai Sho,” Boomed Nagase’s voice from above, “I hear you have manliness issues.”
“W-what?” Coughed Sho, his mouth still full of tiramisu.
Sho swallowed, and smoothed his manhandled shirt.
“Thanks for coming all the way down here, but that kind of hurt.”
“Pain shall bother you no more, friend. In suffering, you will find bliss.”
“W-what?” Sho stuttered and Aiba asked, “You want to make Sho a masochist?”
“No. Listen people. Hurt heals to scars which are emblems of manliness.
Sho, dear kohai, I have the power to give you that happiness.”
“What-?” Sho tried to ask, fearing what the offer would entail,
Was cut off by Nagase’s face.
A triumph of masculine features as if designed so by divine grace,
Came to land quite soundly on Sho’s complained about lips.
Nino had failed to mention tongue would be involved in the tips.
When Nagase was done, Sho fell back in his chair.
His breath was all gone, but instead he had…hair?
5 o’clock shadow darkened Sho’s chin.
And cheeks and upper lip where hair had never been.
“Anyone else?” Nagase asked, wiping his mouth like a man.
Jun, Aiba and Nino shook their heads; Ohno half raised his hand.
But Nino pulled Ohno’s hand down, slapping his leader upside the head.
Nagase left, with these last words “Get Sakurai some real meat; a man must be well fed.”
The room was quiet after Nagase left.
No one had words after seeing a kiss so strange and so deft.
Poor Sho who had only disliked his lips a little,
Now found his face home to an unwelcome thistle.
But then he realized with growing terror all devouring,
Not just his face, but his chest too was flowering.
He ripped off his shirt and saw it was true.
A chest full of hair equal to gorillas at the zoo.
Not one gorilla, but two.
Sho didn’t know what to do other than scream.
Jun was digging though his bag-perhaps he had a helpful cream…
Aiba meanwhile took pictures with his phone.
Ohno just pet Sho’s new chest hair, comparing it to his own.
All the while Nino grinned, pleased with his work.
“See, now your hairiness instead of your lips will be your self-hated quirk!”
At this Sho started to throw things at Nino;
Bags, books, chairs, and a hot cappuccino.
Nino avoided them, as quick as a kitten.
“But beards are in!” He called, “Girls’ll be smitten!”
Ohno, Jun and Aiba watched at safe distance.
Jun and Aiba ready when needed for assistance.
Ohno meanwhile had a thought he couldn’t keep within him.
“Hey guys... What happens when Nagase kisses women?”