i need to find some peace
the start of summer makes me feel anxious and nervous. why? summer is so not stressful but i can't help always feeling this impending doom in the pit of my stomach. and it creeps up on me on my walk to work, and when i wake up to the sun in my eyes in the morning, and when i close my window and smell the air before i go to bed. it smells like summer and it makes me tense.
i love summer more than anything ever. i have so many good memories from summers. but then driving past places that are from old summers brings back the memories and it makes me nervous again. i don't know what im talking about. nervous is not the right word. like i feel nostalgic, but in a bad, ominous kind of way.
but then i'll try and do it to myself. i try to give myself that bad feeling by doing stupid things like listening to songs that i know will bring back memories. not bad memories, good ones, but they still give me the stomach pitty feeling. i really am not explaining this well and i sound like a retard so i'll just change topic now!
i talked to matt today.
he said the elephant pee picture didn't do the actual event justice. it's true, it didn't.
joe pointed out that i can now die happy, since i have seen an elephant pee. i agreed, obviously.
i have 3 options for where to work this summer.
1. shoppers drug mart 4 days a week
2. my moms work as a receptionist 4 or 5 days a week
3. silver ridge spa as a front desk person 5 days a week
things i want to do this summer with people:
-center island
-go up in the cn tower [and have a complete panic attack]
-go to as many shows as possible.
-go to the warped tour. i duno why, i hate it every year and its overpriced. so maybe not. we'll see.
-go to buffalo, stay in niagara falls over night and then the next day go to the amazing looking new indoor water park they have there
-go to the butterfly place they have in niagara falls
-go on a picnic
-go to wonderland, and MAYBE go on a roller coaster
other things but i forget them now. i was thinking of them all tonight at work.
also, i want to do some things myself. like take more pictures of things. read some new books because i read in dominican republic and i forgot how much i liked reading. and i want to try yoga. because my muscles feel tight and sore and not good. i want to stretch until i can stretch no more. so i need to find a place that has yoga somewhere in richmond hill or aurora.
i just ate a white chocolate bunny-cicle and it was disgusting. white chocolate is only good if its hot, in liquid form, and from second cup.
i am going to make my backyard a little paradise this summer. and i will sit out in it and read and paint my nails and avoid bees at all costs. and drink diet soda. clear diet soda because coke is like poison.
ummm im really really tired. goodnight.
i love summer more than anything ever. i have so many good memories from summers. but then driving past places that are from old summers brings back the memories and it makes me nervous again. i don't know what im talking about. nervous is not the right word. like i feel nostalgic, but in a bad, ominous kind of way.
but then i'll try and do it to myself. i try to give myself that bad feeling by doing stupid things like listening to songs that i know will bring back memories. not bad memories, good ones, but they still give me the stomach pitty feeling. i really am not explaining this well and i sound like a retard so i'll just change topic now!
i talked to matt today.
he said the elephant pee picture didn't do the actual event justice. it's true, it didn't.
joe pointed out that i can now die happy, since i have seen an elephant pee. i agreed, obviously.
i have 3 options for where to work this summer.
1. shoppers drug mart 4 days a week
2. my moms work as a receptionist 4 or 5 days a week
3. silver ridge spa as a front desk person 5 days a week
things i want to do this summer with people:
-center island
-go up in the cn tower [and have a complete panic attack]
-go to as many shows as possible.
-go to the warped tour. i duno why, i hate it every year and its overpriced. so maybe not. we'll see.
-go to buffalo, stay in niagara falls over night and then the next day go to the amazing looking new indoor water park they have there
-go to the butterfly place they have in niagara falls
-go on a picnic
-go to wonderland, and MAYBE go on a roller coaster
other things but i forget them now. i was thinking of them all tonight at work.
also, i want to do some things myself. like take more pictures of things. read some new books because i read in dominican republic and i forgot how much i liked reading. and i want to try yoga. because my muscles feel tight and sore and not good. i want to stretch until i can stretch no more. so i need to find a place that has yoga somewhere in richmond hill or aurora.
i just ate a white chocolate bunny-cicle and it was disgusting. white chocolate is only good if its hot, in liquid form, and from second cup.
i am going to make my backyard a little paradise this summer. and i will sit out in it and read and paint my nails and avoid bees at all costs. and drink diet soda. clear diet soda because coke is like poison.
ummm im really really tired. goodnight.