Dish washing 101
So how many people don't know how to properly wash a dish? About 50% of the population of this house. I don't see why. I cannot be the only person disgusted with the possibility of catching some germ that was spawned from someone else's sickness. Seriously, when I am washing my dishes I am thinking, "EW EW EW, GERMS GERMS GERMS. THEY ARE EVERYWHERE. MUST WASH THEM OFF." So I tend to wash my dishes very well.
This is how I personally do it if it is by dishwasher.
1. Make sure to scrub all the things that could possibly be stuck to the dish. The dishwasher is not good for getting crusty old foods off your plates and spoons and glasses and everything else. The dishwasher is best used for lazy people as a sanitation device.
2. Place dishes in dishwasher and turn on. It will cover the dishes with soap and hot water and then when it is done, it will dry them off with plenty of heat to not only dry, but to kill germs.
Now by hand. Not much to it really.
1. Make sure the water you are using is scolding hot. I mean burns the flesh and gives it a nice sleek pinkness to it. Soak the dishes in this.
2. Take a nice clean sponge and starting with the scratchy side of the sponge wash the back of the plate, or the outside of the glass or the handle of the utensil. Then flip the sponge to the soft side and do it again.
3. Now take the scratchy side and do the topside of the plate, or the inside of the glass, or the part of the utensil that goes in your mouth and wash it. Now flip the sponge and use the soft side to do it again.
4. Now rinse off whatever you are washing with the scolding hot water from the faucet and dry the dish thoroughly.
Pots and pans... Seriously, what the fuck.
1. You do not wash a non-stick coated pot or pan with the scratchy side of a sponge or any other dish washing product that could harm the non-stick coating.
I am writing this because it is the only way I can express myself without hurting peoples pussy ass feelings. I went to go get a dish to eat off of, just my luck, I don't need to cook anything. There is already a ginormous disgusting blobulous mass atop this plate that I could finish off. "EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!" So I reach for plate number two. The back of the previous plate was not washed so there was a nice bit of sauce atop plate number two. Good for me, I can combine the two bits together and have a full meal. Hmm, I might be thirsty. Let me check for a glass that's still full of juice in the cupboard. To top it all, I reach for a butter knife....!!!!!! NFKJSH>JKNZ:Ljkd;langdanlkn;somgfk;lznkljgndfkgrglk !!!!!! THANK THE GODS IN HEAVEN. THERE IS STILL SOME SLIPPERY SUBSTANCE ON THE HANDLE OF EVERY FUCKING KNIFE IN THE LOT. I CAN JUST SMEAR THAT ON MY BREAD.
Needless to say I took that entire utensil tray and dumped it in the sink and rewashed the entire bunch to MY standards. Jared was using a rough scratching tool to wash a non-stick coated pot. I picked up the sponge and pointed out the soft side of it to him and said, "When you use that instrument you cause damage to the pot. You notice the non-stick area is being scratched away?" Well, Jared and his vagina took offense to it. He didn't make a scene or anything but I could tell when he said, "Yes Eric," and proceeded to use the scratchy side of the sponge I just handed him. Many people think I am a dickhead, but I just feel I am practical. Maybe I go a little overkill sometimes, but I try my best. Next time there is a problem with the dish washing I am really going to let it loose. I am not going to be an ass, but I am going to state the problem and how it must be fixed. Not to mention what will happen if the measures for fixing the problem are not followed.
I should draw pictures. Or better yet, take some Polaroids and post them above the sink. =]
This is how I personally do it if it is by dishwasher.
1. Make sure to scrub all the things that could possibly be stuck to the dish. The dishwasher is not good for getting crusty old foods off your plates and spoons and glasses and everything else. The dishwasher is best used for lazy people as a sanitation device.
2. Place dishes in dishwasher and turn on. It will cover the dishes with soap and hot water and then when it is done, it will dry them off with plenty of heat to not only dry, but to kill germs.
Now by hand. Not much to it really.
1. Make sure the water you are using is scolding hot. I mean burns the flesh and gives it a nice sleek pinkness to it. Soak the dishes in this.
2. Take a nice clean sponge and starting with the scratchy side of the sponge wash the back of the plate, or the outside of the glass or the handle of the utensil. Then flip the sponge to the soft side and do it again.
3. Now take the scratchy side and do the topside of the plate, or the inside of the glass, or the part of the utensil that goes in your mouth and wash it. Now flip the sponge and use the soft side to do it again.
4. Now rinse off whatever you are washing with the scolding hot water from the faucet and dry the dish thoroughly.
Pots and pans... Seriously, what the fuck.
1. You do not wash a non-stick coated pot or pan with the scratchy side of a sponge or any other dish washing product that could harm the non-stick coating.
I am writing this because it is the only way I can express myself without hurting peoples pussy ass feelings. I went to go get a dish to eat off of, just my luck, I don't need to cook anything. There is already a ginormous disgusting blobulous mass atop this plate that I could finish off. "EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!" So I reach for plate number two. The back of the previous plate was not washed so there was a nice bit of sauce atop plate number two. Good for me, I can combine the two bits together and have a full meal. Hmm, I might be thirsty. Let me check for a glass that's still full of juice in the cupboard. To top it all, I reach for a butter knife....!!!!!! NFKJSH>JKNZ:Ljkd;langdanlkn;somgfk;lznkljgndfkgrglk !!!!!! THANK THE GODS IN HEAVEN. THERE IS STILL SOME SLIPPERY SUBSTANCE ON THE HANDLE OF EVERY FUCKING KNIFE IN THE LOT. I CAN JUST SMEAR THAT ON MY BREAD.
Needless to say I took that entire utensil tray and dumped it in the sink and rewashed the entire bunch to MY standards. Jared was using a rough scratching tool to wash a non-stick coated pot. I picked up the sponge and pointed out the soft side of it to him and said, "When you use that instrument you cause damage to the pot. You notice the non-stick area is being scratched away?" Well, Jared and his vagina took offense to it. He didn't make a scene or anything but I could tell when he said, "Yes Eric," and proceeded to use the scratchy side of the sponge I just handed him. Many people think I am a dickhead, but I just feel I am practical. Maybe I go a little overkill sometimes, but I try my best. Next time there is a problem with the dish washing I am really going to let it loose. I am not going to be an ass, but I am going to state the problem and how it must be fixed. Not to mention what will happen if the measures for fixing the problem are not followed.
I should draw pictures. Or better yet, take some Polaroids and post them above the sink. =]